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The Death of a Franchise -- Worst 4th Movies

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (55)



batman-and-robin-6.jpg

It’s not always the case, but it seems that fourth movies often follow a similar trajectory. The third movie represents a letdown for the franchise, and the filmmakers — in their effort to reboot it — ultimately drive the franchise into the ground. Yet, in some cases, the fourth movie still manages — despite incredible mediocrity — to gross enough money to revive the franchise, ultimately forcing a fourth film (see X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Fast & Furious. In other instances, where the moviegoing public doesn’t give into the advance hype, the failed fourth movie is so bad that it actually kills the franchise. Let that be a warning: Sam Raimi is adamant that he’s going to correct the many mistakes he made with Spider-Man 3. Let’s hope he doesn’t overshoot.

There are a few exceptions — the fourth Die Hard movie, for instance, wasn’t great, but it was better than the third, though I don’t think we’ll see any more of that franchise until the reboot a decade hence. The fourth Harry Potter movie was also decent, though it represented a disappointment following arguably the best of the series so far, Alfonso Cuaron’s Prisoner of Azkaban, but barring a complete meltdown, there was nothing stopping Harry Potter from finishing out the series. Moreover, many consider Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home the second best of the original series, behind Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Still and all, it’s hard to find a single fourth movie in any franchise that actually stood out as a great movie. Hopefully, the next Bourne film will buck that trend.

Anyway, here’s a look back at the worst fourth movies of all time, excluding horror franchises because if I included those, they’d dominate the list:

7. Lethal Weapon 4: A lazy, mindless, tired and meaningless retread that wasted the talents of Jet Li and pretty much led to the pseudo-retirement of Joe Pesci, a once annoyingly minor character in the series used to the point of brain contusion.


6. Terminator Salvation: See Dan’s review. A hamfisted, hokey sequel that came too long after the first three movies to rely so heavily on their mythology and yet managed to add little new. Completely witless and unimaginative, McG tries only to out-Bay Michael Bay and forgets to include the emotional center that made the first two movies so good.


5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: A misguided and unacceptable return to one of the best trilogies of all time. The magic was sucked out of it, its cleverness stripped, and a once iconic character was rendered second rate.

4. The Next Karate Kid: A poor excuse for a film, basically a really bad and overly silly remake of the original with a female character (Hilary Swank) in the lead. It was a bad 90s movie that was too cheesy even for the 80s.


3. Rocky IV: The one with Dolph Lundgren. Overly jingoistic, even for the Rocky series, this unrealistic, overblown fourth movie completely wore out an already worn out Rocky formula.

2. Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace: George Lucas ruins the most beloved trilogy of all time, transforming the series into a cold, dispassionate kids’ movie, ironically ruining the childhood memories of millions of adults. A disgraceful embarrassment to the series that really should’ve been the end of it.

1. Batman and Robin: A campy Batman replete with homosexual innuendo, bat nipples, and not only the worst fourth movie, but the worst blockbuster movie of all time.









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Comments

Back in the day, based on the trailer alone, I "banned" everyone I knew from seeing Batman and Robin. Most listened, those that did not are idiots.

While definitely not a great movie, I actually really love Rocky IV. Everything about it is over the top. Drago. The soundtrack. The training sequences. Bridgette Nielsen. Everything. That press conference before the Drago/Apollo Creed fight is a goldmine for fantastic quotes. It's highly entertaining.

As for the rest, they are horrible.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at May 26, 2009 4:23 PM

I have seen all these movies and I wince just thinking about them.

Posted by: Tra at May 26, 2009 4:24 PM

I WILL BREAK YOU. Rocky IV is glorious cheese-tastic fun.

I would offer up Alien Resurrection, because I hate it and wish it would get diemboweled by the wind gods.

Posted by: Julie at May 26, 2009 4:28 PM

I'm with donut, Rocky IV was awesomely bad. "I must break you."

As for terrible fourths, Alien: Resurrection. I can stand it, but definately the worst of the four. It didn't give me much of a rection.

Speaking of which, we're just aboot due for a re-boot, nes pas?

Posted by: admin at May 26, 2009 4:32 PM

GET OUT OF MY BRAIN julie!

Posted by: admin at May 26, 2009 4:33 PM

I have seen all of these (except T4 and that just ain't gonna happen) and...oh, god. Horrible, horrible movies all.

Though Rocky IV is kind of awesomely cheesy. And Dolph was pretty badass.

I wonder if 'The Hobbit' will fall into this list eventually.

Posted by: figgy at May 26, 2009 4:34 PM

I agree with Alien Resurrection. That was god-awful.

I haven't seen Rambo, was that a contender? Rambo III was kind of shit.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at May 26, 2009 4:39 PM

STOP IT Admin. That shit's creepy. And not "that stranger keeps staring" kind of creepy, I'm talking "La dee da what a beautiful night to watch a romantic come...GAH IS THAT SHADOW A SPIDER?! No it's just a coathook...GAH IS THAT CREAKY SOUND A BURGLAR?! No it's just a pointy toothed demon coming to slowly devour me" kind of creepy.

Posted by: Julie at May 26, 2009 4:41 PM

Whoa whoa whoa. How the fuck is Live free or Die Hard better than Die Hard 3? I call shenanigans.

Posted by: Sidewinder at May 26, 2009 4:41 PM

I haven't seen Rambo, was that a contender? Rambo III was kind of shit.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at May 26, 2009 4:39 PM

No, because Rambo was awesome.

I think the fact that Rambo featured probably the most evil villians (those Burmese militia duded John J. mowed down) in in the history of cinema alone makes it a worthy sequel and gives it some important cinematic historical value.

Almost half of that film's modest running time was dedicated to showing just how evil those people were:

Torturing villagers by making them race through mine-infested waters and then just shooting anyone who doesn't end up getting blowed up? Check. Check. (This specific event happened twice)

Ripping children from the arms of mothers to "recruit" them to their army? Check.

Abusing these poor "recruits"? Check.

Ripping children from mother's arms and then shooting the children in the head? Check.

Raping women? Check.

Shooting women in the head? Check.

Mowing down innocent villagers while they try to run away? Check.

Generally butchering innocents (e.g., hacking of limbs, stabbing people, using rifle butts, mortars, gernades, anti-tank machine guns)? Check. Check. Check. Check.

Killing dogs? Check.

Killing live stock? Check.

Burning down villages? Check.

Their leader enjoys a cigarette while watching all of the above with a look of smug satisfaction etched across his face? Check.

Parties involving forcing women to dance and then, once that gets old, gang raping them? Check.

Dangling a prisoner's bloodied feet into a pig pen and letting the pigs eat his feet while still the guy is still alive? Check.

Their leader is a pedophile? Check.

You add the fact that the last 20 minutes or so pretty much just featured John J. mowing people down with a .50 caliber machine gun and you've got yourself a winner there.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at May 26, 2009 4:49 PM

I also agree that Rocky IV should be switched out for Alien Resurrection.

As a followup, Dolph Lundgren deserves more work. If Van Damme can have a pseudo-comeback, then the guy who got a engineering degree instead of a drug habit should get a freaking Oscar.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 26, 2009 4:59 PM

I personally can't wait for Twilight 4 Meets Misty the Vampire Slayer. There will be fairy dust!

Posted by: BWeaves at May 26, 2009 5:18 PM

Batman and Robin was awful, but Phantom Menace should have topped this list. It took the trilogy that fucking INVENTED movie trilogies, and shat upon it.

Posted by: Edith at May 26, 2009 5:18 PM

What about Star Trek Babies 4: Nemesis?

Posted by: BWeaves at May 26, 2009 5:20 PM

Phantom Menace, as I've said again and again, was decent. It's not a great movie, but it's a good popcorn flick, and Jar Jar's the only truly unforgivable thing about the film.

I've reviewed it before, and it could have been a lot worse. Now, Attack of the Clones, that movie sucked. God I hate Hayden Christensen.

Posted by: George at May 26, 2009 5:24 PM

Even when I had bad taste in movies, I still hated Batman and Robin. Seriously, does Joel Shumacher really have to continue making movies that are so bad and yet the set design is beautiful? Phantom of the Opera was painful, as was this, and yet, it was so pretty to look at.
I have a feeling the revised list will contain Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Just a hunch.

Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at May 26, 2009 5:36 PM

Rambo was absolutely awesome, I like the guy with the sniper rife, he's shoot them, their heads would explode and then the bodies would go flying back. Brilliant.

Posted by: Will at May 26, 2009 5:38 PM

Rambo was absolutely awesome, I like the guy with the sniper rife, he's shoot them, their heads would explode and then the bodies would go flying back. Brilliant.

Posted by: Will at May 26, 2009 5:38 PM

I couldn't agree more. That scene when he shot those first two guys at night was perhaps my favorite. It was the third time I have ever been moved to uncontrolably yell aloud in a theater (the prior two were as follows: 1) after Trinity beat up those cops in that first scene in "The Matrix" and 2) that spider-crawl scene from the re-released "The Exorcist").

It looked like they were hit by an invisible speeding bus at the same time they got shot in the head. Simply incredible.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at May 26, 2009 5:58 PM

I liked Lethal Weapon 4, but I was also 12 when I saw it and haven't rewatched it in about a decade, so that comes with a grain of salt.

Posted by: Lindsay at May 26, 2009 6:00 PM

I'm proud to say I haven't seen any of these movies (although I'll probably end up watching Terminator Salvation some day). I think the list is spot on, especially Batman and Robin.

I also think the fourth Rambo was awesome.

Posted by: barf at May 26, 2009 6:02 PM

How about this for the worst fourth entry into a franchise: Roger Moore.

Roger Moore was technically the fourth actor to portray James Bond on screen: David Niven was first, then Sean Connery, then George Lazenby, and then Moore.

Watch all the Bond movies back to back and you'll see his are the worst.

Posted by: John W at May 26, 2009 6:10 PM

Die Hard 3 is a great movie. It is the best in that awesome series and it is one of my all time favorites.

Posted by: kc at May 26, 2009 6:31 PM

Alien Ressurection, for sure. Rambo, definitely.

But what about Jaws 4: Michael Caine Needs A New House?

Posted by: Shane at May 26, 2009 6:47 PM

John W--Noooo! You cannot insult my Roger Moore like that. I can't speak for David Niven, but Connery and Brosnan are just too smarmy for my taste, and we won't speak of Lazenby. Moore Bond is so funny. And amusing. And smirky.

When about to be shot in the head by Barbara Bach and asked for his last words, he says, "Let's get out of these wet things, shall we?" How can any woman resist that? I stand by my 4th Bond.

Posted by: Bonnie at May 26, 2009 6:55 PM

WTF is wrong with Lethal Weapon 4? Perfectly enjoyable movie, if you ask me.

Posted by: Leaf at May 26, 2009 6:59 PM

Oh, my God.

Is that the Batman movie where George Clooney busts out with the Bat Card? Y'know, the one he never leaves the BatCave without it?

*puts gun in mouth*

Posted by: Riley at May 26, 2009 7:04 PM

I can't believe you guys think Terminator Salvation is that bad. I think if you watched the originals with the same mindset you watched the new one, you would have found them at least as insipid and ham-fisted but with lesser (though more groundbreaking in the the case of T2) visual effects. And frankly I think Markus' role was more interesting from an emotional standpoint and better played than anything in the first two.

Posted by: Eep at May 26, 2009 7:21 PM

No 'Wolverine'?

Posted by: Dristan at May 26, 2009 7:58 PM

But what about Jaws 4: Michael Caine Needs A New House?

Hey, a rich white man's gotta have a house in the Bahamas. Just to keep body and soul together.

Posted by: George at May 26, 2009 9:14 PM

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at May 26, 2009 4:49 PM

You know, I haven't seen Rambo and now I don't think I need to.

Thank you!

Posted by: Eyvi at May 26, 2009 9:43 PM

How many ways can you say: "The Quest for Peace?"

Posted by: gunnertec at May 26, 2009 10:13 PM

I guess "The Land Before Time: Journey Through the Mists" is a moot point?

Posted by: gunnertec at May 26, 2009 10:15 PM

I have had enough of you people ragging on Alien Ressurection!
I like that movie. Yeah, that's right. I said it. And I stand fucking by it.

Posted by: popejenn at May 26, 2009 10:30 PM

im sorry, but youre stupid if you think the 4th die hard is better than the 3rd. stupid and fucking crazy. all that computer talking, gymnastic twirling, harrier jet bullshit? are you kidding me? jesus christ.

Posted by: farik at May 26, 2009 10:30 PM

I liked Batman and Robin. There, I said it. Poison Ivy is my favorite Batman villain and Uma Thurman played her well. I also had a crush on Alicia Silverstone at the time.

And for the record, I never claimed to have a great taste in films. I routinely watch trash and love it. I do not have a high tolerance for idiotic films and demand at least some artistry from the trash I'm watching. So Kaufman films good, McG films bad. Just to clear that up.

Posted by: Robert at May 26, 2009 11:36 PM

Well, at least the bat nipples have given us plenty of ammunition for the past 12 years. It's my fave joke that never dies.

Posted by: agent bedhead at May 26, 2009 11:45 PM

Good to know!
And thousands of sincere and serious tall people I met on
___Tallloving C om___ are the most amazing people I ever met! they care nothing but real love and chemistry! that's what we are looking for in today's world!

Posted by: gorden at May 26, 2009 11:46 PM

How many ways can you say: "The Quest for Peace?"

Fortunately for us all, that movie never happened. Meaning the honor of destroying Superman fell to Bryan Singer, a Superkid and the worst Lois Lane possible -- until Smallville.

Here's some more nominees:
Halloween 4 - because we really needed Michael Myers back in our lives.

Hannibal Rising - You remember that character that we were all intrigued by from Silence of the Lambs? Yeah, let's go back and show you how he becomes a cannibal with a completely different actor. Fun for the whole family!

Posted by: Fredo at May 27, 2009 12:21 AM

What the fuck? Does no one remember "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace"? How the fuck does that not even garner a mention? It is such a horrific film yet still stars Reeves, Hackman, Kidder, etc. Easily the worst big budget superhero film of all time. I think its what an Ed Wood film would be like with big name actors and heavy financing. Seriously...how was this film not brought up yet?

Posted by: Diablo at May 27, 2009 12:22 AM

Phantom or B & R...the syph or herpes... The future vader going "wheeee" or Arnold yelling "kill da heroes!" Hmmm.

Posted by: stryker1121 at May 27, 2009 12:33 AM

Fuck you, Rowles! Rocky IV is the best Rocky movie of all time!! Rocky trains in Siberia for the love of Jesus! And the dirty Commies are following him when he tries to go for a run. And he gets the Russian crowd to cheer for him. Then he single-handedly stops the Cold War. And in the end he tells Rocky Jr. he loves him on international television. And there's a talking robot! It is a cinematic masterpiece that deserves our respect. So fuck you, Rowles. Fuck you in a very uncomfortable place.

Posted by: Austin asking for trouble at May 27, 2009 1:51 AM

I too am dumbfounded that Superman 4 is not on this list (I honestly think it could have given Batman & Robin a run for its money at #1)

Posted by: Leftylad at May 27, 2009 3:41 AM

OK, The Quest for Peace belongs on this list but is disqualified because the franchise actually died with #3. I refuse to believe #4 even happened. You can't convince me it did.

Rocky 4 needs to be substituted with any of the other great suggestions offered here.

No way is Die Hard 4 better than Die Hard 3.

Posted by: ed newman at May 27, 2009 5:41 AM

Rocky IV? Fuck right off. And Karate Kid IV? Nobody's even seen that. Leaving Alien 4 off the list is pretty much inexcusable.

Posted by: James at May 27, 2009 8:09 AM

Eep, you're my new BFF. I loved T4, and for the record, I loved all the Rocky movies, despite some of their obvious terribleness, so this list can suck it.
I don't care. I embrace my love for bad movies.
Except for the Indiana Jones and Batman and Robin crap. Those were just horrible.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at May 27, 2009 8:26 AM

Please, T4 is nowhere near as poor a film as 'Batman & Robin'! In fact, it's fine.

Posted by: Doom70 at May 27, 2009 11:12 AM

Another vote for Superman IV. It had a supervillain that could have been defeated literally with only a wet blanket.

Posted by: Mez at May 27, 2009 11:26 AM

Superman 4 is just awful.

Rocky IV is delicious fun. It IS one giant montage, but it's a fun montage. With all of the shitty sequels out there, it has no place on this list.

Posted by: Mebe at May 27, 2009 12:55 PM

I'm disappointed that SuperIII would be crowned the Franchise-killer. A bump in the road? Perhaps. However, between the comedic stylings of the late great Richard Pryor and the scene where the lady is "converted" into a robot (which haunts me to this day), I think it's safe to say that IV is more worthy of the crown. Consider three the set-up punch by which the knock-out was delivered by a solar-powered villain.

Posted by: gunnertec at May 27, 2009 2:12 PM

I'm with everyone else on Rocky IV. It's awesome in its own very special way. Superman IV or Alien: Baby Huey should be on there in its place.

And to the commenter asking about the recent fourth Rambo, it's surprisingly good - and violently gory.

Posted by: TL at May 27, 2009 3:25 PM

I join the chorus: Jaws IV and Superman IV sucked horrific, unwashed ass, while Rocky IV is why the word "cheesetastic" was invented.

Can't speak to Alien: Resurrection, because I've never been able to make it through the whole thing. Sorry.

And while the fourth installment of Die Hard was more watchable than the third, I was deeply unsettled by the propaganda that fairly screamed, "THIS IS WHY IT HAS TO BE OKAY FOR US TO TAKE AWAY YOUR CIVIL LIBERTIES! THE BAD GUYS ARE COMING TO KILL YOU ANY MINUTE!!!"

So... yeah, um... I can't make the call on that one.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at May 27, 2009 6:48 PM

If you don't love Rocky IV, there's something wrong with ya. For Pete's sake, the man won the Cold War single-handedly. Only Stallone at his ego-fueled peak could make that movie, and he made the hell out of it. The ridiculous montages are worth seeing all by themselves.

They'll play that sucker on TBS or TNT every weekend forever, and with good reason.

Posted by: gootch at May 27, 2009 7:30 PM

There is absolutely no way "Rocky IV" should be on that list. While the first Rocky film was, by far, the "best" of the series in terms of cinematic accomplishment, "Rocky IV" is the most entertaining and most watchable. In fact, it may be one of the most rewatchable films of all-time; I wouldn't be surprised if I weren't the only person here who has seen it dozens of times and will never get tired of it.

"Batman and Robin" may be the worst movie ever, and that's not even hyperbole. It's astounding how bad it is, as if someone kept daring Joel Schumacher to try and top the schlock from the previous scene as shooting progressed. How did no one involved with the picture take a step back, objectively look at what was being shot, and say, "Whoa, hold on a second here. Maybe we shouldn't be doing this"?

"It's the chilling sound of your doom"? Go fuck yourself with rubber nipples, Schumacher.

Posted by: Abe Froman at May 27, 2009 8:49 PM

I must vigorously disagree with Rocky IV. Its fucking awesome. Stalone UNITES Russia and the U.S. through BOXING! Cold war, shmold war.

Posted by: DMO at May 28, 2009 3:04 PM

Call me crazy, but I loved Lethal Weapon 4. That scene in the dentist's office was hysterical.
Also, although I fast forward past everything else to get to it, I still watch the Rocky 4 training montage. The juxtaposition of Rocky's use of the natural environment to Drago's technofest is superb!

Posted by: Kim at May 28, 2009 3:30 PM