Who Asked For Cars 2 Again? 5 Children's Sequels That Should've Arrived Instead

Who Asked For Cars 2 Again? 5 Children's Sequels That Should’ve Arrived Instead

By Agent Bedhead | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (40)

I was seriously looking forward to writing this seriously random list. However, I neglected to consider the unfortunate existence of a vast array of children’s direct-to-video sequels. As such, this idea of this list was easier conceived than written because there are a lot of sequels out there that most of us probably aren’t aware even existed. And for good reason. In addition, it turns out that a few sequels that I’d wanted to suggest are either already in the works or stuck in development hell for the forseeable future, which would disqualify their inclusion in this list. For instance, a Monsters Inc. follow-up will eventually be here (although it will actually be a prequel), and a Who Framed Roger Rabbit? sequel is apparently on the way as well, but who knows how long it’ll take before we see it. Therefore, the list of prospective suggestions for this list quickly dwindled.

However, I was able to come up with a handful of children’s movies that, unlike most of the sequels these days, might just have deserved to be made instead. In most cases, it’s probably too late to recapture that magic, but hey, we can dream.

The Incredibles: Out of all of the Pixar movies, this one seems most fitting for a new installment that just hasn’t happened. Yet.

The Iron Giant: Dustin really likes this one too, which is pretty self-explanatory if you ask me.

The Last Unicorn: Surely, she really wasn’t the last one, right?

James and the Giant Peach: This one’s a bit scary, but Henry Selick fans would love to revisit the story anew.

Edward Scissorhands: C’mon, he couldn’t stay up in that mansion forever.

And a little unexpected bonus number for you…

Beetlejuice:

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.

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I'd take more Beetlejuice. But I don't know how I'd handle more Iron Giant -- the first one keeps flooring me every time I see it.

...You stay...I go...no following...

Posted by: Fredo at June 22, 2011 12:21 PM

People should really stop thinking of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? as a children's movie just because it has cartoon characters in it. It also has some racy sexuality, language, and some of the most terrifying scenes put to celluloid (the death of the squeaky shoe, Judge Doom's eyes popping out).

To say nothing of the bonerrific Jessica Rabbit and what I expect to be a wave of cartoon fetishists growing up in my generation, who may never fulfill their fantasies of being sung to by a sultry, bosomy, leggy, 6' redhead and retiring to her dressing room to play patty-cake.

At least, not unless Allison Janney is willing to get a dye job and a wicked set of falsies.

Posted by: StoatCat at June 22, 2011 12:24 PM

I loves me some Incredibles, especially those child-bearin' hips and thighs of the mom. Why do people keep saying there will be an Incredibles 2 release in 2013? Are they just lyin' like big dogs?

Posted by: Stinky at June 22, 2011 12:32 PM

Michael Keaton wants a Beetlejuice 2.

I want a Beetlejuice 2.

You want a Beetlejuice 2.

America wants a Beetlejuice 2.

The world wants a Beetlejuice 2.

So Warner Brothers, the next time you talk about making a Beetlejuice 2, remember...if you don't at least get Michael Keaton and Tim Burton back for the proceedings...you can go fuck yourself.

(Paid for by The Committee for A Proper Beetlejuice 2)

Posted by: DoctorControversy at June 22, 2011 12:39 PM

In the matter of Cars, it's the one Pixar movie I didn't like the first time around. To me most Pixar movies seem like they come up with a good story, then do their magic to come up with a design that fit it. With Cars it felt like it was in reverse, like they came up with talking cars and then went, "Now What?" It looks like they did the same thing with the second one too. I'm sure it will make a crapload of money based on brand recognition and the lack of kiddie films, but really at this point I really wish Pixar would just try something new again instead of all the sequels- that was one of the reasons I liked their movies to begin with.

As for the alternate sequel ideas....

If Kevin Smith is to be believed, he was approached to write a treatment for a sequel to Beetlejuice with it having take place in Hawaii. Smith responded by saying something to effect of, "Wasn't everything that needed to be said already covered in the original movie?"

Yeah, As much as it pains me to say, I kinda have to agree with Smith here. Even if one could have gone back in a time machine to 1988, I really don't see how you could really make another one of these without it falling flat. Some if not most movies are best off being a one-shot deal.

Posted by: bleujayone at June 22, 2011 12:40 PM

there's no need for an Incredibles 2 unless they can come up with a really original conflict for the family again.

i really dun want to see Jack Jack as a 7 yr old now being annoying/burdened with his "gift" or whatever else they have used up for this genre.

Pls dun taint the memory ala Quantum of Fuck Solace.

Posted by: haplo at June 22, 2011 12:45 PM

bleujayone
Smith responded by saying something to effect of, "Wasn't everything that needed to be said already covered in the original movie?"

And the sentiment holds true to every movie* in this list, bar The Incredibles ( there's plenty of Super-Hero shtick satire/parody to mine)

*Okay, haven't seen last Unicorn, can't argue about the stance on that one.

Posted by: cockroach at June 22, 2011 12:48 PM

I'm interested in seeing a review for Cars 2. I thought the first one was sweet, even if it's far from being Pixar's strongest film, but the sequel doesn't look good at all. I too would love for Pixar to put their focus back to creating original films. I think they got too psyched over the success of Toy Story 3. As much as that film deserved every accolade (fucker still makes me want to cry), they need to remember their vision.

And that's a big "No" for The Last Unicorn, unless we're going to get the same fabulous voice cast and that sumptious animation. Don't sully it with CGI.

Posted by: Kala at June 22, 2011 12:50 PM

*Plenty of super-hero shtick to satirise/parody

/Why can't we have an edit comment button?

Posted by: cockroach at June 22, 2011 12:51 PM

Beetlejuice was one of those movies I would watch every weekend and could quote every line. No one but Michael Keaton can pull off that character for me.
And I believe (dusting off a 20 year old memory)in The Last Unicorn all the little unicorns farting rainbows were freed and swam into the ocean after the main unicorn was turned back into her horsey form. I really hope they never make a sequel to that cartoon!

Posted by: Dingle Berry at June 22, 2011 12:52 PM

They left The Incredibles wide open for a sequel, can't believe they haven't done that yet. The rest, meh. There could be no sequels for Edward Scissorhands or Beetlejuice without Johnny Depp and Michael Keaton.

Posted by: Laura at June 22, 2011 12:59 PM

The Last Unicorn proves she's not the last. Spoiler alert if you haven't seen this animated film from many moons ago, she succeeds in getting them out of the ocean, they back the Red Bull up into the sea, and then she goes back to unicorn form with her other unicorn peeps. They make a point of saying she'll never be one of them anymore, since she's the only unicorn who has ever known regret. The bad king is dead, the unicorn leaves her human boyfriend to be a unicorn, the magician leaves with the wench. I'm not sure where else you go with that story. Also, the entire score would have to be done by America again. And I think it's based on a book.

...yes...I have seen this movie a LOT of times. What of it?

Posted by: KatSings at June 22, 2011 1:04 PM

And I think it's based on a book.

It is. Peter Beagle is one of those writers who deserves a thousand times the publicity he gets. He's really an exceptional writer..

Posted by: twig at June 22, 2011 1:10 PM

No on sequel for Last Unicorn as it would not be about Unicorn anyways and everything about all characters are pretty much said already in the book. Now, making a live action version that more true to the book, much adult in theme, ideally with Ian McEllen as Haggard, that I wanna see, no write. I have met the author Peter S. Beagle few times and he has told me the arduous years of trying to make that happen. I hope I can be a good enough screenwriter to do it.

Posted by: yocean at June 22, 2011 1:15 PM

All I really remember about The Last Unicorn is that it scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. So did The Dark Crystal and The Hobbit. I remember and have seen those last two more recently though.

Beetlejuice would be completely ruined if they tried to continue it. Most of these would actually. As unoriginal and reborquel-happy as Hollywood has been in recent years, the only one with any chance would be The Incredibles because it's Pixar and it hasn't been that long.

Posted by: Paultera at June 22, 2011 1:19 PM

The original incredibles had a really nice 1970s feel to it. It would be nice to see the next generation of heroes get the spotlight. Dash. Whatever the wallflower daughter was named. The metomorphosizing little baby all grown up.

That needs to happen.

Posted by: superasente at June 22, 2011 1:43 PM

I thought that the Beetlejuice cartoon proved that a sequel was not needed.

Posted by: Drake at June 22, 2011 1:55 PM

If anybody makes a sequel to "The Iron Giant" I will punch them right in the fucking mouth.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at June 22, 2011 2:08 PM

A good friend of mine works for Disney Animation and I'm sad to say they made Cars 2 because the merchandising is insanely profitable.

Also, I LOVED the Beetlejuice cartoon growing up... recently watched it and still love it. It's ridiculous.

Posted by: smasherstein at June 22, 2011 2:16 PM

A good friend of mine works for Disney Animation and I'm sad to say they made Cars 2 because the merchandising is insanely profitable.

Not surprised. While everyone loves movies like Ratatouille and Up, fact is those are not merchandise-money-makers for the Mouse. Cars 2 is how Pixar pays for the chance to do those kinds of movies.

Posted by: Fredo at June 22, 2011 2:25 PM

Cars 2 is TOTALLY a cash grab. Do you think Disney would let Pixar make movies like "Up" and "Ratatouille" without the promise of also making them shitheaps of money? That's why I'm not so upset about Cars 2. Yes, it will suck, or at the very least be vastly inferior to the rest of Pixar's portfolio. But you know what? We'll get another "Wall-E" a couple of years down the line because of it, and I'm okay with that trade-off.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at June 22, 2011 2:37 PM

I hated Beetlejuice and don't give a flying rats behind if a sequel ever gets made.

Posted by: elsie at June 22, 2011 2:39 PM

Thank you, Fredo, Paul S, and smasherstein. People love to bash Cars and bemoan Cars 2, but if you really want sequels to some of these other films made, then get out there and vote with your wallets. Cars 2 was not made for you. It was made for the legions of 2-6 year-olds who can quote every line and go to sleep with Lightning McQueen under their pillow every night. I know toddlers who have never watched even one minute of TV or Movies, but are still obsessed with Mater, Lightning, and The King. I love Wall-E and Up just as much as you guys do, and yes, Cars 2 won't be even half the film they were, but it doesn't matter. Just think of it like The Wiggles and TeleTubbies, and appreciate movies like The Iron Giant and Ratatouille when you get them.

Posted by: McSquish at June 22, 2011 3:04 PM

I'd whoop someone's ass for a Finding Nemo 2. And not even feel bad after.

Posted by: Johnnyseattle at June 22, 2011 3:15 PM

My four-year-old nephew asked for Cars 2. Of course, his current favorite movie is Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, so maybe we shouldn't be listening to him.

I will love Cars 2 forever if means I can stop listening to The Chipettes sing "Single Ladies".

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 22, 2011 3:38 PM

A good friend of mine works for Disney Animation and I'm sad to say they made Cars 2 because the merchandising is insanely profitable.
Makes sense, considering we were able to find baby clothes for my on based on it this year, way before they started pushing the new one.

Amen DoctorControversy

Posted by: Brian at June 22, 2011 3:55 PM

Iron Giant is the only movie that ever got me all choked up. No remake for it though. S'good the way it is.

Pass on the rest. Actually I'd see an Incredibles sequel. Pass on the rest though.

Posted by: googergieger at June 22, 2011 4:09 PM

Naw, The Last Unicorn? What would be the title?

The Last Unicorn... Two.
The Ultimate Unicorn.
The Final Unicorn.

Might as well put a chainsaw to some of my fondest childhood memories right away, that would be kinder.
They don't make movies like that any more. And if they tried, they'd fail.

I'd vote for another Incredibles, though. And for another How To Train Your Dragon. (imdb has a page on that, but the date is 2014. So is this confirmed or no?)

Posted by: Rooks at June 22, 2011 4:46 PM

Perhaps an origin story called "The Second To Last Unicorn"?

Posted by: jvon at June 22, 2011 8:43 PM

The First Unicorn From Beyond The Grave: The Undeadening!

This time it's personal, esse.

Posted by: googergieger at June 22, 2011 9:15 PM

what about a charlie and the choclate factory sequel?
there is a sequel to the book

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at June 22, 2011 9:54 PM

Peter S. Beagle actually wrote a sequel to "The Last Unicorn" (short(ish) story "Two Hearts" in the volume "The Line Between") but if it was made into a movie it would be one of those "traumatized me as a child movies." It's both terrifying and fucking heartbreaking.

Posted by: mandasarah at June 22, 2011 10:13 PM

Oh my. I can not state strongly enough my distaste for Beetlejuice. I mean, just, egad. The obnoxiousness, I had believed, knew no limit, and then Moulin Rouge was released. So, at least something knocked it out of the top spot.

Posted by: jmflynny at June 22, 2011 10:16 PM

I'm with you on Beetlejuice, I found it unbearably obnoxious. And Edward Scissorhands made me want to slit my wrists (I can't remember why exactly, I refuse to watch it again).

Posted by: jvon at June 23, 2011 1:51 AM

Posted by: cockroach at June 22, 2011 12:51 PM

I've been begging for an edit function for years. Rowles just doesn't care for us...or black people.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 23, 2011 12:13 PM

Cars was basically a cartoon remake of Doc Hollywood for kids. Except Doc Hollywood was way better. I wonder what they'll rip off for Cars 2?

Posted by: Tabby at June 24, 2011 2:14 PM

The Last Unicorn 2: Electric Boogaloo

Posted by: Jenna at June 24, 2011 4:18 PM

I loved Cars 2, but I respect each person's right to an opinion. I hope they make a Cars 3!

Posted by: Franswa at June 26, 2011 10:25 PM

The Last Unicorn 2: Money Never Sleeps.

Posted by: welldressed at June 27, 2011 9:14 AM

I liked Cars 2, my 7 year old and his friends loved it.
Get over yourself if you need to critique a kids movie.
It is for KIDS, if they like it and from what I seen at the theater, they love it.

So go watch "Tree of Life" and leave the kids movies to the kids.

Posted by: Rick at June 27, 2011 10:25 AM

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Who Asked For Cars 2 Again? 5 Children's Sequels That Should’ve Arrived Instead

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