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Which Of These TV Casts Would You Let Wrinkle Your Linens?

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (39)



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Just this week “Castle” released a noir-ish promo photo for their fourth season. In my opinion, not only is this series the epitome of “I Don’t Get It But, Okay, You Guys Seem To Like It,” but the photographer missed the memo that Stana Katic’s legs are the show’s second and third best asset.
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You know, meh, the noir look has been done before, but at least it’s not the interminable Last Supper pose that other shows seem to think is so clever. In fact, the only pose more prevalent? The old Dogpile, Supine, Come Hither, We’re Nekkid, Don’t You Wish Your Physician Was Hot Like Me? Pose. In bed, on a gurney, piled onto the floor, the idea is the same. And it works for teen soaps, sitcoms, cable dramas and crime procedurals. Well not all cable dramas. I can’t even imagine “The Cast Of The Wire In Bed!” (That’s a lie. Michael K. Williams, call me.)

“Big Love: It’s Perfectly Illegal”
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“The X-Files: The Truth Is In My Pants”
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“Friends: With Benefits Attached”
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“Gossip Girl: Isn’t That Blonde One On The Left, Like, Twelve?”
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“House: Did You Almost Forget Olivia Wilde’s Character Was A Bisexual?”
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“Bones: The Bonening”
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“Scrubs: Ahem, Ladies, You Too Braff, SMILE.”
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“The American Coupling: No Shoes, No Pants, No Series”
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“90210: Original Flavor”
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“Vampire Diaries: Is Everyone On This Show Dying Of Some Sort Of Nasty Oozy Greasy Disease?”
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“My Two Dads In A Full House: THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER SHOW”
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Comments

Why are the rest of the Friends fully clothed while Rachel is in a sheet? I guess they're all waiting for their turn.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 25, 2011 4:03 PM

That's why my friends and I can never get invited back to parties: we never send in a picture of us in a bed together.

Posted by: Nealeo at August 25, 2011 4:14 PM

I'd let the cast of Lost pass me around a few times.

Posted by: Skyler Durden at August 25, 2011 4:14 PM

I love Luke Perry's hairy crotch.

Posted by: sars at August 25, 2011 4:15 PM

SO TRUE! tht is extremely weird tht shes just ya know naked wrapped up in a sheet while everyone else is clothed.

Posted by: anna at August 25, 2011 4:15 PM

How many times now is it that photo has been used in a Pajiba piece? As much as I love this site it's blatant unashamed hit whoring is hilarious, audacious even.

Posted by: Neil at August 25, 2011 4:26 PM

For Chandler's sake, I hope Rachel didn't have gas that day.

Posted by: lower case g at August 25, 2011 4:32 PM

I dunno, I'm a straight girl and I'm still not tired of the header picture.

Posted by: MM at August 25, 2011 4:35 PM

How many times now is it that photo has been used in a Pajiba piece? As much as I love this site it's blatant unashamed hit whoring is hilarious, audacious even.

Posted by: Neil at August 25, 2011 4:26 PM

I agree in theory, Neil, but that specific picture really fascinates me. I never seem to tire of it.

Posted by: John G. at August 25, 2011 4:47 PM

MM, seconded!

Posted by: BWeaves at August 25, 2011 4:48 PM

Remember that first time when Dustin posted those Community pictures and I had a conversation with myself while also pretending I was Jesus and it annoyed the sh*t out of Leonard? That was so much fun! For me. Leonard didn't enjoy it much and I'm likely the only one who remembers, but still, I had a great time.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 25, 2011 4:49 PM

Um, to be fair, the X-Files photo is from a Rolling Stone shoot, not technically a TV show promo, and it was from way before Mulder and Scully got together - in fact, I believe that's from an era when the actors weren't getting along too well, so the pose is kind of ironic. And the cast of Bones are on separate autopsy tables, which for most people aren't sexy (no judgement!), but does tie in to the theme of the show.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 25, 2011 4:53 PM

I remember, Mrs. Julien. I remember.

(Good grief, he {for the sake of argument, I'll assume Leonard was a he} was **actually** pissed off about it, wasn't he?) Oh, the perils of the Internet.

Posted by: MM at August 25, 2011 4:53 PM

This was an interesting exercise in thoughtful and discriminating preference until the X-Files picture passed my screen.

No competition.

Posted by: Parker at August 25, 2011 5:01 PM

I notice you picked the X-Files photo without Chris Carter ruining the shot.

Posted by: sars at August 25, 2011 5:12 PM

“My Two Dads In A Full House: THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER SHOW”

Why's it gotta be Dave Coulier that has to cut it out? WHY?!

Posted by: branded at August 25, 2011 5:13 PM

So wait, why are the brother and sister nestled together in the Friends pic?

ew?

Then again with all the bed hopping that bunch did, the sibs are about the only thing not sampled.

Posted by: bleujayone at August 25, 2011 5:28 PM


Um, to be fair, the X-Files photo is from a Rolling Stone shoot, not technically a TV show promo

Uh...what would you call it then? The "articles" function as advertisement too, you know, especially when there's nudity.

Posted by: John G. at August 25, 2011 6:23 PM

You know, all those other casts are trying SO hard, but the Castle crew wins hands down.

Posted by: Samantha at August 25, 2011 8:32 PM

How is the eminently fuckable Mad Men cast not on this list?

Posted by: Ginger at August 25, 2011 8:52 PM

the girls from "community"... i used to find them both very fantasy-worthy until that stupid pic. there's trying hard and then that picture.

Posted by: red_goddess at August 25, 2011 9:06 PM

I'd toss all these casts out of the airlock if I could have one night with the Firefly crew.

Except Simon.

Posted by: Miss Zarves at August 25, 2011 9:12 PM

You'll have to excuse me red_goddess, my eyes just rolled out the back of my head...

Posted by: ? at August 25, 2011 9:21 PM

For me it would be:

1-Charlie's Angels (original version, natch)

2-Wonder Woman

3-Eureka 5th season

4-Buffy/Angel mashup

Posted by: John W at August 25, 2011 9:44 PM

That picture makes me feel so embarrassed for them.

Posted by: figgy at August 26, 2011 12:07 AM

I actually still have that Rolling Stone issue packed away somewhere. I was obsessed with The X-Files and SO in love with David Duchovny (I'd still tap that, too). Teenage me says The X-Files, adult me... SOMERHALDER (and all the rest of the hot, hot men on The Vampire Diaries).

Posted by: Even Stevens at August 26, 2011 12:28 AM

Ditto Even Stevens. I lost my copy of that Rolling Stone though.

Posted by: Bodhi at August 26, 2011 1:14 AM

Oh Scully, watching you dubbed on Russian Channel One into the early mornings on weekends during my adolescence has turned me into a shy twenty three year old with extremely high standards in women and obsessed with redheads with freckles.

/solitary tear

Posted by: sailboat at August 26, 2011 1:17 AM

Alison Brie and Gillian whatshername - fine; but can we get Donald Glover in on the action, somehow?

Posted by: Caspar at August 26, 2011 6:58 AM

Miss Zarves, I'll take Simon gladly!

And yes, WHERE is the Mad Men cast?? All... so... pretty...

Posted by: Linda at August 26, 2011 7:30 AM

Not to be a lamo, but I think the Friends pic signifies that Rachel was probably in bed in the middle of the day ( sick, tired, sad, horny) and her "friends" all plopped down for some chitchat, as "friends" do, hence the title FRIENDS!


or

they were all taking turns with her while the others watched

Posted by: kirbyjay at August 26, 2011 9:16 AM

If you're gonna keep running hot pics over and over can I get the Carla Guigino one again? TIA!

Posted by: logan at August 26, 2011 9:50 AM

All of those photos are gross.

Posted by: asdff at August 26, 2011 1:18 PM

Posted by: Wednesday Fury at August 26, 2011 2:31 PM

You know, in regards to the 90210 shot I just always assumed that Luke Perry had a giant erection from having HIS head so close to Ian Ziering's crotch and so the photographer just said "Fuck it." and hid Luke's giant erection with Shannon Doherty's flowing locks.

Just me?

Posted by: Kelly at August 26, 2011 3:48 PM

The Jesus-Julien conversation is one of my all-time favorite exchanges on Pajiba. Every time I see the Community pics, I think of Jesus, and his words about "the gays" or was it "the gaze"? I forget which. (Mrs. J, I DO wish Jesus could have been more hip, though.) Maybe it's time for re-PRISE, Leonard!

Posted by: Stinky at August 27, 2011 2:49 AM

I didn't know Lauren Ambrose was part of "Castle"

Posted by: James at August 27, 2011 1:50 PM

I didn't know Lauren Ambrose was part of "Castle"

Posted by: James at August 27, 2011 1:50 PM

I assume you're referring to the redhead at the far right, and that is actually Molly C. Quinn, who plays his daughter Alexis. (I find the show's plots awful, but the cast is fun and beautiful, so I do watch it.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 27, 2011 9:09 PM

Oh thank you Wednesday Fury, truly, thank you. You just moved Being Human to the top of my "Must Watch" pile.

Posted by: SAS at August 28, 2011 3:42 AM