When Terrible Children's Movies Happen to Good People

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (46)

David Cross — Alvin and the Chipmunks

Anna Faris — Yogi Bear

Matthew Broderick — Inspector Gadget

Alec Baldwin — Cat in the Hat

Leslie Mann — George of the Jungle

Walter Mathau — Dennis the Menace

John Goodman — The Flintstones

Meryl Streep — Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events

Christopher Walken — Country Bears

Neil Patrick Harris — Smurfs

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Comments

Bill Murray, Garfield.

Posted by: Julie at March 29, 2011 12:58 PM

I can't remember the last time a good movie happened to Anna Faris. Did one ever?

Also shut your mouth over George of the Jungle I love that stupid movie and Brendan Fraser's delicious abs.

Posted by: figgy at March 29, 2011 1:03 PM

As with McAdams, I still want to know what Anna Faris did that was so impressive.

(Come on, was "The Notebook" really that good?)

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2011 1:04 PM

How. Dare. You.

Dennis the Menace and The Flintstones were both equally my SHIT, yo! Timeless masterpieces, those.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at March 29, 2011 1:07 PM

Lemony Snicket's is a decent kid's flick. It's a hell of a lot better than the rest of the films on the list.

Posted by: KateMC at March 29, 2011 1:13 PM

I second Rest In Peace about Dennis The Menace. I loved that movie growing up - especially for Mathau's performance.

Posted by: Matt at March 29, 2011 1:15 PM

Kill me if you must, but I liked Lemony Snicket, as well as The Country Bears.

Ok don't kill me. Light taunting maybe, but no killing.

Posted by: DoctorControversy at March 29, 2011 1:16 PM

In the "Why is Anna Faris on this list" boat, along with the "Lemony Snicket doesn't deserve to be here either" boat. Lemony Snicket is decent. Anna Faris constantly either chooses bad movies, or else chooses to be the terrible part of good movies. She's like a cuter Kristen Wiig.

Posted by: Kat at March 29, 2011 1:21 PM

Oh, and George of the Jungle...I'm not much of a Leslie Mann fan, but Brendan Fraser's abs and long hair and playing with horsies taught me to love. So suck it.

Posted by: Kat at March 29, 2011 1:22 PM

I agree with Figgy -- George of the Jungle was hilarious, particularly for fans of the original cartoon. Plus, it's worth watching for Brendan Fraser's formerly tremendous body alone.

Posted by: Siege at March 29, 2011 1:22 PM

I liked all those (except Smurfs, cause I haven't seen it). I must've watched George of the Jungle a 100 times when it first came out. And John Goodman made a great Fred Flinstone.

Posted by: Sarah at March 29, 2011 1:25 PM

I've never heard of that Chris Walken film. I call your bluff. That's just Chris Walken on a Tuesday, isn't it?

'BeAR! You! GotaHAT! and, toolBELT!'

Posted by: zeke the pig at March 29, 2011 1:27 PM

To answer the question posed by figgy and Jay: the best one she's done was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

George of the Jungle was my favorite* movie when I was eight. It was comedic gold: an ape named Ape, how George talks to the narrator, running across Africa in the Nike sneakers, Tooki on the plane, evil Lyle getting covered in elephant excrement...

All of the others I'd agree with. I'm disgusted by how many of these movies I've seen.

[* Or at least tied with Galaxy Quest, Space Jam, and Big Trouble in Little China]

Posted by: penelope at March 29, 2011 1:28 PM

George of the Jungle was a great family movie. By that I mean, of course, that the kids could enjoy the talking gorilla, and Mom could drool over oh-yes-he-was-once-adorable Brendan Frasier. Dad could be off doing whatever it was he wanted to do. Or ogle Leslie Mann, if he was into that.

Posted by: Wednesday at March 29, 2011 1:40 PM

Anna Faris might be a good person, but she's a crap actress, and that's why terrible movies happen to her.

I rather liked the Lemony Snicket movie. It's weird to think that the actress who played Violet is now playing Babydoll in Sucker Punch.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at March 29, 2011 1:46 PM

Yeah, I'm putting in my vote of support for George of the Jungle as well. I've watched that movie SO many times with my brothers, and laughed EVERY TIME. It's dumb, yes, but the slapstick is good, Brendan Frasier excels at dumb-but-hot, the laughs (dumb ones, of course) are there, and the good guys win in the end. I can handle that.

Dammit, now I want to watch this movie.

Posted by: GwenBear at March 29, 2011 1:52 PM

I was dragged kicking and screaming to see George of the Jungle, and I ended up loving it. It's not so much a kids movie as a very good adult (and by that I mean grownup, not porno) fairy tale movie.

Posted by: BWeaves at March 29, 2011 1:53 PM

YES on the George of the Jungle love. Sometimes, you just need Brendan Fraser in that buttflap. And the Armani. Oooh.

Posted by: Samantha at March 29, 2011 1:53 PM

*Ewan McGregor - Star Wars: Episodes 1, 2, and 3.

*Tom Hanks - Forrest Gump

*Costars of the Nicholas Cage film canon.

Posted by: Barnes78 at March 29, 2011 1:57 PM

I'm sure this is all everyone in the comments section is commenting on, but I stopped reading when I got to George of the Jungle. I'm continuously embarassed by how many times I've watched/replayed the scene with Brendan on the horse.

Posted by: jamiepants at March 29, 2011 1:59 PM

SO GLAD to see the George of the Jungle love. It's a stupid movie. That knows it's stupid. And endlessly lampshades it.

Plus Brendan Frasier is HOOOOT.

Oh and it toally screws up San Fran Geography.

MOVIEMAKERS: San Francisco is never without traffic. Seriously. 5 p.m. in the city is like Death Race 2000.

Posted by: meh at March 29, 2011 2:00 PM

alec baldwin, and peter fonda in "thomas and the magic railroad."

hoo, boy, but did that stink.

i might also toss carla gugino in for the "spy kids"...er...trilogy. i'd certainly give her a toss (i am SO SORRY, i just couldn't resist).

Posted by: matty blue at March 29, 2011 2:01 PM

Just as I thought. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHK0-tg_Dtw

Posted by: jamiepants at March 29, 2011 2:02 PM

To everyone who loved George of the Jungle:

Sleep sweet.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 29, 2011 2:21 PM

Your list seems to suggest that Lemony Snicket is a terrible movie. I strongly disagree. It's cute, funny, and features gloriously detailed costumes.

I'll concede The Flintstones even though I enjoyed the film as a kid. Now, if you had put Viva Rock Vegas up there, we'd have a problem.

Posted by: Robert at March 29, 2011 2:31 PM

Seems a little premature to include the Smurfs on the list, seeing as how the movie HASNT EVEN BEEN RELEASED YET.

Yeah, I know, based on the trailer it'll make Alvin & the Chimpunks look like Citizen Kane, but still, its not like there's such a shortage of shitty kids movies already out there that you could use to round your list. Garfield, for one, plus DeNiro in Rocky & Bullwinkle and Liam Neeson in the Phantom Menace.

Posted by: Irving Washington at March 29, 2011 2:31 PM

Oh NPH. No amount of CBGB t-shirts will edge up the fact that you're sharing screen time with SMURFS. As in... what smurfing idiot talked you into doing this piece of smurf movie? How is this a good idea?? Doesn't How I Met Your Mother satisfy your "broad audience appeal" and "paycheck" needs? Is it necessary for anyone to go broader than a television sitcom? I know you just had twins but are diapers really that expensive?? You're just lucky that I love you no matter what. (Here's hoping Whedon casts you in Avengers 2 and that it isn't a suckfest.)

Posted by: meilufay at March 29, 2011 2:37 PM

Alec Baldwin is hilarious in Cat In The Hat. That movie is nuts. I don't understand why I don't hate it, it's got all the elements of a film I would hate, including pointless dumbness, but somehow, I don't. I think it's a riot. Esp. the pinata scene.

Brendan Fraser - Inkheart

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at March 29, 2011 2:48 PM

MelBivDevoe-I had no idea that was her. The movie is so much more disturbing now.

Posted by: Jennifer at March 29, 2011 3:01 PM

"I rather liked the Lemony Snicket movie. It's weird to think that the actress who played Violet is now playing Babydoll in Sucker Punch"

I just went into shock.
Now I'm definitely not watching Sucker Punch. Too disturbing.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at March 29, 2011 3:41 PM

I also don't understand lumping Lemony Snicket in with this pile of garbage. I was always disappointed that it didn't take off and spawn at least one more movie. And George of the Jungle is not exactly a cinematic masterpiece, but it is fun.

Cat in the Hat on the other hand is a steaming pile of dog crap not worthy of Jack Donaghy.

Posted by: amandaanne at March 29, 2011 3:45 PM

I found The Cat in the Hat exactly wrong: it was mean-spirited, the jokes that pandered to the grown ups were inappropriate, the story was too short, the film was too long, and the rest just fell flat.

Let me check one thing...NOPE! Bo Welch has not been allowed to direct anything since, but he has returned to production design. If only something similar could happen to Tim Burton...

Little Julien delights in the PBS cartoon though.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 29, 2011 4:00 PM

this is the best hing that happened to me today

Posted by: idleprimate at March 29, 2011 4:39 PM

'George of the Jungle' shouldn't be on this list. Brendan Fraser's abs make up for everything about that film. This fact is undisputed.

...why is NPH in Smurfs? o-o

Posted by: Aislinn at March 29, 2011 4:46 PM

Yeah, when I saw Sucker Punch, I knew Baby Doll looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place her. Then my daughter told me it was Violet Baudelaire. WOW. I did not see that.

Posted by: Wednesday at March 29, 2011 5:05 PM

The fact that it has Meryl Streep IS the reason why Lemony Snicket is a great movie. Where else would I get to see a hilariously, intentionally overacting Meryl Streep fawn all over Jim Carrey with a bad accent?
You can see how much fun she had with the part, and that's why I love it! :D

(See also: Billy Connely. And I love Jude Law's narrating, I can't read Lemony Snicket with any other voice than Jude's now.)

Posted by: Linda at March 29, 2011 5:11 PM

I loved the Lemony Snicket movie...it added to the fantastic tradition of Billy Connolly being killed in every film he has ever been in...the man was killed in a Muppets movie for Christ sake!

Posted by: crisyroo at March 29, 2011 5:45 PM

I can't defend Cat In The Hat in any way. It's full of wrongness. I still laugh at it.

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at March 29, 2011 6:53 PM

I liked A Series of Unfortunate Events. Also, why does NPH look like Justin *smarmface* Timberlake?

Posted by: dsbs at March 29, 2011 7:18 PM

Do you mean "good" as in talented, or as in nice to others?

Depending on which, Anna Faris doesn't belong on this list, or Alec Baldwin doesn't.

Posted by: Big Softie at March 29, 2011 7:28 PM

Anna Faris did THE HOUSE BUNNY!!!!!

...

Anyone?

Posted by: Amanda6 at March 29, 2011 7:45 PM

Seriously? Lemony Snicket was awesome!!!

Posted by: Jess at March 29, 2011 11:01 PM

I loved the Lemony Snicket movie...it added to the fantastic tradition of Billy Connolly being killed in every film he has ever been in...the man was killed in a Muppets movie for Christ sake!

Posted by: crisyroo at March 29, 2011 5:45 PM

I never knew this tradition. Did he die in Her Majesty, Mrs. Brown?

Posted by: John G. at March 29, 2011 11:05 PM

To all the people defending George Of The Jungle:

You are wrong

End of line.

Posted by: John G. at March 29, 2011 11:06 PM

All of you people making fun of George of the Jungle: George say you are wrong. George say suck it big.

Also, John Cleese was in that (voice of Ape). So technically shouldn't he be on this list?

Posted by: klingonfree at March 30, 2011 11:28 AM

George look pretty good in Armani. "Pretty darned good."

Klingonfree have have George on brain all day now.

Posted by: klingonfree at March 30, 2011 11:32 AM

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When Terrible Children's Movies Happen to Good People

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