What Celebrities Would You Cast in a Muppet Lookalike Movie?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (49)

I got such a kick the other day out of recasting the major superhero movies with vintage Hollywood stars that I thought we’d take another spin at dreamcasting. Today’s target: The Muppets. God forbid anyone ever attempt to adapt the Muppets for celebrities, but in the event they do (and you can never rule out anything in Hollywood), how would we cast the Muppets?

Some of these choices are obvious (Bunsen Honeydew), some I thought were inspired (Beaker!), and some are stretches (The Swedish Chef) to say the least. How would you cast them?

Kermit the Frog

Miss Piggy

Fozzie Bear

Rizzo the Rat

Gonzo the Great

Rowlf the Dog

Bunsen Honeydew

Beaker

Statler and Waldorf

The Swedish Chef

Sam the Eagle

sam the eagleda.jpg

Sweetums

Pepe the King Prawn

Dr. Teeth of The Electric Mayhem

Animal

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Comments

That's pretty perfect, Dustin. I've nothing to add.

Posted by: zeke the pig at February 11, 2011 10:03 AM

Lindsay Lohan as Janice.

Either her or Donatella Versace, who is not an actress but, still, the resemblance is eerie.

Posted by: Figgy at February 11, 2011 10:05 AM

Wow, I'm actually in awe of how perfect this list is. Rowlf the dog was kind of startling actually.

Posted by: Blank at February 11, 2011 10:08 AM

Seriously Dustin? (gunshot)

Posted by: Beaker at February 11, 2011 10:10 AM

No, no, no. Stephen Merchant is Beaker.

Otherwise, it's a great list. Sweetums still terrifies me, even though I'm almost 30.

Posted by: Sherri at February 11, 2011 10:14 AM

Oh yeah, 80's era James Hetfield as Sgt. Floyd Pepper.

Posted by: Blank at February 11, 2011 10:18 AM

I hate Christian Bale, but it is strangely appropos. I will rack (sp?) my rain for a valid alternative.

I agree with the Stephen Merchant substitution.

In another time, and given his origins, Animal would have to be played by Keith Moon.

How is it that Sweetums had a book reading event and no one told me? I would have brought him a beautiful bouquet of radishes. Sigh.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 11, 2011 10:26 AM

This is pretty damn good but I think I'd have Jeffery Tambor be the Swedish Chef instead.

Posted by: Paultera at February 11, 2011 10:31 AM

I don't know who he would depict, but Bruce Villanch is basically a human muppet. Not that he's much of a celebrity...

Posted by: (Not so) Blonde Savant at February 11, 2011 10:39 AM

Great list but I'd have swapped out Sam or Kermit for Bradley Cooper. I mean, come on.

Posted by: Cindy at February 11, 2011 10:39 AM

Brilliant! What about the Martians Telephone? Edward Cullen and Jacob Black? (yes I am sure they have real names I don’t care)

Posted by: karen at February 11, 2011 10:39 AM

This. Is. Fabulous.

Posted by: boo at February 11, 2011 10:41 AM

Mr. Nimue sent me this last week.

http://i.imgur.com/WDE1I.jpg

Posted by: Nimue at February 11, 2011 10:41 AM

My options for Swedish Chef: Jeffrey Jones (plays Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off) or Randy Quaid.

Yeah: Imma hafta go with Randy Quaid.

Posted by: boo at February 11, 2011 10:45 AM

Rosanna Arquette as Janice...look that shit up.

Posted by: citizen_cris at February 11, 2011 10:49 AM

Statler and Waldorf, FTW.

Posted by: , at February 11, 2011 10:58 AM

Ha! David Tennant as Kermit. PERFECT.

*runs the hell away*

Posted by: Figgy at February 11, 2011 11:02 AM

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew = Michael Hayden, former USAF General, former head of the National Intelligence Agency. Look at his picture and you'll see the resemblance is uncanny.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 11, 2011 11:02 AM

YOU FOUND A PHOTO OF ADRIEN BRODY WITH BLUE HAIR? What kind of mad googling genius are you, Rowles?

Posted by: coveredinbees at February 11, 2011 11:09 AM

Ha! David Tennant as Kermit. PERFECT.

Great Figgy, THANKS! Now my sex dreams are going to get really weird.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 11, 2011 11:25 AM

Actually I was thinking of Matt Smith's arms in that wedding dance; very muppet-like movement...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 11, 2011 11:26 AM

John C. Reilly always seemed like the human version of Fozzie bear to me.

Posted by: Kari at February 11, 2011 11:31 AM

I'd add Nathan Fillion as Captain Link Hogthrob

Posted by: mswas at February 11, 2011 11:37 AM

Actually, I was thinking of Abe Vigoda as Statler or Waldorf, whichever one doesn't have the mustache.

I third Stephen Merchant as Beaker and David Tennant as Kermit. Other than that, spot on scary. Pepe is scary.

Posted by: BWeaves at February 11, 2011 11:41 AM

MSWAS: YESSSS!!!

Posted by: BWeaves at February 11, 2011 11:42 AM

Victoria Beckham has always reminded me of Miss Piggy.
Count von Count - John Travolta
Snuffleupagus - Robin Williams
Big Bird - Tilda Swinton

Posted by: Jadine at February 11, 2011 11:47 AM

Jadine - Posh would have to wear two fat suits to play Miss Piggy. One to be the size of a normal woman, and one to be pig-like.

Posted by: mswas at February 11, 2011 11:55 AM

mswas, it's mainly her nose. Plus, she could wear a fat suit for the role.

Posted by: Jadine at February 11, 2011 12:06 PM

And she's pregnant right now so that would help.

Posted by: Jadine at February 11, 2011 12:08 PM

Jackie Earle Haley for Rizzo the Rat...he's always looked rather rat-like to me. Plus, think about the intensity the man would bring to that role.
And I thought New York (that nutso chick from the Flava Flav dating show on VH1) would've been the spot-on obvious choice for Janice, considering people say that allllll the time.

Posted by: Jessie at February 11, 2011 12:16 PM

Ok, i'll give you that, Jadine

Posted by: mswas at February 11, 2011 12:18 PM

christopher walken as beaker

Posted by: bel at February 11, 2011 12:22 PM

Now I'm picturing Beaker threatening to rip out Kermit's endocrine system and, frankly, it's making me giggle.

Posted by: jM at February 11, 2011 12:29 PM

Jon Hamm - Johnny Fiama

Posted by: raouldukejr at February 11, 2011 12:31 PM

I think Eric Riper (top chef) looks like Sam the Eagle.

Posted by: Amy at February 11, 2011 12:53 PM

Some of these are rather inspired, but as someone whose elementary school nickname was Beaker, I take exception to the Gary Busey.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at February 11, 2011 1:33 PM

Jon Hamm - Johnny Fiama

HA! Totally.

Posted by: Figgy at February 11, 2011 1:34 PM

Do not make me think dirty thoughts about Kermit, please.

Posted by: dsbs at February 11, 2011 2:41 PM

Victoria Gotti as Janice. Dead on .

Posted by: ponch at February 11, 2011 2:50 PM

I'd put Paul Giamatti as Fozzie Bear. Just something about them in the way they always seem to try so hard to battle seemingly crippling depression with humor.

Michael J. Fox as Rizzo the Rat.

Also, Sam Worthington as Sam the Eagle.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at February 11, 2011 2:54 PM

I'd cast more for personality than for physical similarities between actor and Muppet.

Kermit - As much as I love the Christian Bale is Kermit meme, Christian's too intense. Kermit's role is to be the calm in the insanity storm of the other Muppets. I nominate Jason Bateman, who played a similar role on Arrested Development.

Fozzy - Jack Black? Hell no. Fozzy is unfunny but he tries hard and is lovable. Jack Black is just f'ing unfunny (if he *has* to be in the movie, he'd make a better Animal. I nominate Nick Frost or Ethan Supplee, both of whom are a lot more lovable than Jack Black (although if we cast Frost, then Simon Pegg'd have to be Kermit).

Miss Piggy - The quintessential diva with some talent that she blows out of proportion. The problem with Tori Spelling is that she's a worse actress than Piggy would be and not charismatic to make up for it. I nominate Scarlett Johansson. She has a fuller figure and is charismatic enough to overlook some of her acting.

Rizzo the Rat - Rizzo is the quintessential New Yorker big mouth. If you want to skew older, there's always Joe Pesci or Dustin Hoffman (Rizzo's namesake, after all). If you want to skew younger, then I nominate John Turturro.

Gonzo the Great - Mickey Rourke. Gonzo, above all else, is a weirdo dedicated to what he considers his often misunderstood art. Mickey is, above all else, a weirdo dedicated to what he considers his often misunderstood art.

Rowlf the Dog - Jeff Bridges - He has the scruffy appearance, the world-weary feel, and down-to-earth coolness that Rowlf embodies. You just want to have a beer and share stories with both of 'em. Keith David also works.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew - Drew Carey. Just shave the head. Then, we can cast...

Beaker - Ryan Styles - Tall, somewhat gingery, able to pull off the put upon assistant to the subtly sadistic Honeydew. If not Styles, then how about Seth Green?

Statler and Waldorf - While I love the idea of Wilford and Jack, they've never acted together. How about Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro? Great chemistry, and both have the ability to be caustic.

The Swedish Chef - Arnold Schwarzenegger. At his essence, the Chef is a dude who's incomprehensible when he speaks and is good with blades (and guns when the occasion calls for it). Sounds perfect for the now unemployed Ahnuld. If we can't get him, there's always Sly.

Sam the Eagle - Kurt Russell. He can do the "mock serious while actually being totally ridiculous" (See Big Trouble in Little China) routine that Sam thrives on. Bruce Campbell also works.

Sweetums - John Goodman. He's big, scary looking, but, deep down, he's a sweetheart. Sounds like Sweetums to me.

Pepe the King Prawn - Robert Downey Jr. Pepe is the Latin lover, the smooth operator. Yeah, Downey isn't Latin, but he's one smooth mofo. I mean, his speech from the Golden Globes could have been written by Pepe.

Dr. Teeth - George Clinton. I mean, c'mon.

Animal - Keifer Sutherland. A wild child who likes to party and give in to his urges. Probably more reliable than Charlie Sheen.

Posted by: P-Funk at February 11, 2011 2:58 PM

Right, but Pepe's whole bit is that he's ugly as sin. And in Steve, we have a winner.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at February 11, 2011 3:05 PM

judd hirsch as the janitor.

and p-funks list rules

Posted by: idleprimate at February 11, 2011 5:05 PM

in college, my friend dated a girl who was very attractive, but a little bug eyed. We took to calling her Beaker and whenever she was around, we would murmur behind her "meee meee mee mi mee" and the like. He broke it off with her shortly thereafter.

We were not cool, haven't seen her in years, but maybe she could still play the role.

Posted by: Rubble44 at February 11, 2011 5:26 PM

Dave Grohl as Animal. I know that we should be shooting for actors, but the man is the human embodiment of the character.

Posted by: KaGe at February 11, 2011 5:32 PM

I wanna make love to P-Funk's list. I'd make love to it twice if Seth Rogen were Fozzie. And oh my god Tilda Swinton as Big Bird, I want to, I MUST see that mono-drama.

However, Segel's Muppets are gonna be huge and studio guys are gonna google the hell out of ideas for how to milk more money out of the franchise and somehow they're gonna stumble upon this seemingly harmless little article and they're gonna be like Geez Louise that ain't half a bad idea and Louise is gonna be like yeah let's do this guys and Geez is gonna be like what the fuck man I died for your sins you guys and this is how you repay me and the shit is finally gonna hit the proverbial fan Maya-style. Thanks for the lovely apocalypse, Dustin.

Posted by: schmerpes at February 11, 2011 6:10 PM

Aniston = Miss Piggy
Al Pacino = Dr Teeth

Posted by: defrabbit at February 11, 2011 11:09 PM

I always thought Tara from Buffy looks a hell of a lot like Janice.

Posted by: Grafty at February 12, 2011 5:14 AM

animal

no question..

bill bailey (Manny) in black books!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0047155/

Posted by: kikz at February 13, 2011 11:23 AM

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What Celebrities Would You Cast in a Muppet Lookalike Movie?

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