film / tv / lists / guides / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / podcasts / web / politics / netflix / advertise / cbr

What a Funky Lady: The Top Five Actors Who Have Morphed Into Middle-Aged Women

By Cindy Davis | Seriously Random Lists | March 7, 2011 | Comments ()


5. Johnny Depp

johnny-depp-.jpg
deppgirl.jpg

Johnny, what has become of you? You used to be the definition of a hot, studly man. Now you're starting to remind me of Tootsie.

4. Alec Baldwin:

alecyoung.jpg
Alecwoman.jpg

Alec, normally I don't like to criticize a person's weight, but in your case, dropping a few pounds would really help your face. Get rid of those Liz Claiborne sunglasses, the jacket isn't doing you any favors (it doesn't flatter your body or make you look less womanly) and for Jesopus' sake, stop with the hair flip in the front already.

3. Tom Cruise:

tom-cruise-young.jpg
cruiselady.jpg

Tom has always had a bit of the womanly thing going, especially when he's had long hair. Finally, he has the moobs to match.

2. Michael Douglas:

youngMichaelDouglas.jpg
douglaswoman1.jpg

Oh Mikey, I'm so happy you beat the cancer that I'll just say, "Get a haircut." It'll do you wonders, boy.

1. Steven Weber:

wings6.jpg
Weberwoman.jpg


Steven, Steven, Steven. Just because you kick off your career on a show called "Wings" doesn't mean you have to incorporate them into your hair the rest of your life. Honestly, I'm not sure poor Weber ever had a chance at being a manly man--there's just something in his genes that tilted his features toward the feminine side. That said, once again, hair has a lot to do with this problem.

The flip seems to be a common factor among these less than dudely dudes, so let that be a lesson to you up and coming actors (I'm talking to you, Pattinson). And mamas, don't let your boy babies grow up to be ugly women...unless, of course, that's what they choose to be.



Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day | Coming to Terms with the Crushing Realization that Natalie Portman Is Not a Very Good Actress



Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments

Recent News











Recent Reviews








Privacy Policy