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We Should Charge Them By The Hour: Therapy Masquerading As Art

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (28)



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We all know the first rule of storytelling is to write what you know. This is excellent advice, particularly for novice artists who are trying to get a grip on their craft. Some of the best work of all time is transparently autobiographical (Dickens, Hemingway, Woody Allen). But there’s a difference between putting yourself into your work and letting your sad unresolved issues seep into everything you do. (One of my favorite Woody Allen films is the decidedly un-autobiographical Match Point.) This particular exercise is more than picking out a theme in an auteur’s work, it’s picking out some damage that they appear to be working through. This doesn’t always have to be the case, folks. Each Coen Brothers film is challenging and different. These fellows, however? These guys need help. Counseling. Group. Meds. Something.

Judd Apatow—Peter Pan Syndrome: Judd Apatow seems to have his fingerprints on almost everything these days. But we can’t really assign a lot of meaning to producer credits. Writing credits, however? That’s telling. Apatow garnered a lot of acclaim for his work writing on “The Larry Sanders Show,” but his work on “Freaks and Geeks” was pure genius. The emotional maturity on that magnificent show (about teenagers in the early 80’s) has, however, been Apatow’s wheelhouse ever since. The lovable but childish characters that populate The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, and Funny People (not even lovable in this last case) make me wonder what Apatow has against adulthood. Here’s hoping his next project, This Is Forty, reveals some growth.
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Joss Whedon—Psychopathy: Because Joss has a tremendous gift when it comes to writing warm, funny, relatable characters, you might cock your eyebrow at this one. But Joss is also incapable of allowing a couple a happy ever after. He delights in ripping them apart, often by ruthlessly murdering one half. If you haven’t seen the complete Joss canon, then feel free to skip the following parenthetical. (Jenny & Giles, Buffy & Angel, Buffy & Spike,Tara & Willow, Oz & Willow, Cordelia & Xander, Xander & Anya, Cordelia & Doyle, Cordelia & Angel, Fred & Gunn, Fred & Wesley, Topher & Bennett, Ballard & Echo, Zoë & Wash, Penny & Dr. Horrible). Joss, buddy, we’re worried.
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Zack Snyder—Misogyny: I’ve talked about this before. It was controversial. If you don’t agree that Snyder hates women, perhaps you will agree that choosing to direct three films that have rape as a major plot point (300, Watchman, Sucker Punch) is distressing. Seek help, Snyder. I beg of you.
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JJ Abrams—Daddy Issues: In addition to his serious addiction to lens flare, Abrams has an exceedingly obvious fascination with “bad fathers.” This theme is at the center of nearly every single project (“Felicity,” “Alias,” “Lost” [sweet sassy molassy, “Lost”], “Fringe,” Super 8, and even Star Trek). In Super 8 Abrams cast Kyle Chandler who for years has been playing father-figure to every damaged boy in West Dillon on “Friday Night Lights” as the cold and emotionally unavailable father. That’s some twisted casting. JJ, my dear, what on earth did your father do to you?
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Quentin Tarantino—Foot Fetish: Just kidding, Quentin, you rock on with your love of feet. I think it’s kind of adorable. I don’t mind at all when director’s push their sexual predilections on us.
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Tyler Perry—Fecalphilia: Except for this sh*t. This needs to stop.
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Comments

Oh, god, DOYLE *sob*

Posted by: Anna von Beav at June 20, 2011 4:08 PM

Re: Tarantino,

Fuck yeah.

Posted by: the_wakeful at June 20, 2011 4:13 PM

In fairness to Zack Snyder I don't actually feel, 300 and Watchmen were both written by others.

Sucker Punch kinda does leave little room for doubt, however.

Posted by: twig at June 20, 2011 4:15 PM

Also: Re: Whedon,

Whiskey and MY HEART

Posted by: the_wakeful at June 20, 2011 4:15 PM

Good stuff, but your Zack Snyder/Misogyny "argument" - which you claim to have held even before "Sucker Punch" - is still way off the mark.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at June 20, 2011 4:18 PM

twig, while the rape scene from "Watchmen" was taken directly from the source material, I believe the rape scene in "300" was actually added in the movie and wasn't in the comic. (I'd have to go back and read the comic, it's been a good 10+ years now.) That said, I don't consider the fact that Gorgo was raped in the movie to be evidence of misogyny, especially considering the final outcome of all of that and her expanded role in the film as compared to the text.

This argument also completely ignores his "Dawn of the Dead" re-make where there a number of strong, capable female characters, Sarah Polley chief among them.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at June 20, 2011 4:23 PM

Bravo! Best list I've seen in a while. You nailed Joss, I love the little doughy mastermind and all but damn does he have issues with couples actually making it. It's the one thing that I HATE about him.

Spielberg has his daddy issues too, that's why he and Abrams get along so well.

Yay this list!

Posted by: Melody Be at June 20, 2011 4:26 PM

You could address Tarantino's incessant need to wedge in drawn-out inane conversations that he has with his friends into his films.

Posted by: Paultera at June 20, 2011 4:26 PM

Can I nominate Tim Burton for a co-chair spot under daddy issues? Because almost every movie he's ever directed involves daddy issues, even if they were crowbarred into an otherwise original property (Big Fish was very good, but again, daddy issues).

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at June 20, 2011 4:27 PM

I will never forgive Whedon for what he did to Xander and Anya. And then he killed her! What was the point?

Posted by: Keith at June 20, 2011 4:30 PM

Paultera WHAT are you talking about? I needed to know that about "Like A Virgin."

Mr. Brown: Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
Mr. White: A lot.

Posted by: Forever Jung at June 20, 2011 4:30 PM

Aaron Sorkin's abiding theme: smart women exist to smack down the men who love them (West Wing, Studio 60, Sports Night)

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 20, 2011 4:41 PM

Zack Snyder—Misogyny

Considering in movies past Superman has had a super roofie kiss and more recently he stalked Lois in a way only Ivan Reitman might appreciate, I'm wondering if Superman abusing his powers would really be breaking any new ground.

With Snyder helming the upcoming Superman: Man of Steel movie I had to speculate how he might sneak rape into that (if in fact this theory is correct). About the only thing that came to mind was a moronic joke I recall hearing about in grade school where Superman sees Wonder Woman asleep while sunbathing nude and decides to fly in at super speed, get his rocks off and fly away without her being any the wiser. (Looking back on it we didn't realize this was super powered rape nor did we realize at the time no man wants to be in and out in a blink of an eye....but I digress) Anyway, Rapey Supes gets his freak on and takes off at sonic speed. Wonder Woman wakes up and says "What the hell was that?" Just then the Invisible Man replies, "I don't know but my ass is KILLING me!"

By the way if Snyder ever did put something like this, I'd be the first one by his house selling torches and pitchforks to the masses.

Posted by: bleujayone at June 20, 2011 5:02 PM

Whedon's in the Venn diagram overlap for daddy issues too. I can't think of a single good dad in his body of work, and Buffy's father became more horrible (albeit off-camera) as the series progressed. I's say that Whedon's description of himself as the child of a "groovy divorce" might be a bit optimistic.

Posted by: alone in the dark at June 20, 2011 5:08 PM

Angel himself was a good dad, right? And if Whedon is using his work as therapy, it's working, since he's been married a while.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 20, 2011 6:05 PM

*ahem*

"coprophilia"

Posted by: jeem at June 20, 2011 6:20 PM

jack bristow steps up his game

Posted by: the chaplain at June 20, 2011 6:47 PM

Still not buying the Snyder as misogynist argument. I hear it, I understand it, but I disagree. I think a misogynist would write/direct films where the women are in constant need of being saved, have absolutely no character development, and are there just to look pretty in a skimpy outfit. Michael Bay I buy as a misogynist. Zac Snyder? Not so much. What's the male equivalent for misogynist? Cause Synder sure likes showing mostly naked/naked men fighting with no character development beyond naked muscle man fights good.

Posted by: Robert at June 20, 2011 7:33 PM

I once sent my brother a postcard of a Vincent Van Gogh painting. All I wrote on the back was -

I don't think the art therapy is working.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 20, 2011 8:50 PM

JoRo: You are, as always, an officer and a gentleman.

That Whedon list is brutal when you actually see them all right next to each other. Blank and Blanker totally hurt the worst, though.

Posted by: RobP at June 20, 2011 10:13 PM

Tyler Perry more like Pulsus A Mortuus Equus

Posted by: Mr. Stitch at June 20, 2011 10:33 PM

Since Whedon did the script which of the Avengers will have a scorching romance only to end in one of them dying?

I'm thinking Tony Stark & Thor.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 20, 2011 10:58 PM

Mrs. Julien - that is spectacular, I love it

This is a great list. I went to see Super 8 yesterday and couldn't believe Kyle Chandler's role. They just wasted Coach Taylor. WASTED HIM!

Posted by: Even Stevens at June 21, 2011 1:18 AM

Wesley and Fred was cruel. Those two together tore the cynicism out of me and showered it with puppy kisses. It was bad enough when Fred dies. Then we had Wesley's death scene which involved my cynicism beating the puppies to death with a wiffle ball bat.

Season 5 of Angel is really great.

Posted by: Dave at June 21, 2011 1:53 AM

Anna Von B, my reaction was THE EXACT SAME, oh Doyle....oh Glenn*sniffle*

Posted by: Nadine at June 21, 2011 3:53 AM

@Robert - it's a misandrist, but I don't buy that. If he'd had three films that feature men being raped, and focused on the mens sweet, vulnerable sexuality, and made all the men whores, then I could definitely see it.

It's like this: there's no definite reason to think Snyder's a full on misogynist, but there's plenty of circumstantial evidence that he's got issues. Imagine if he'd directed two films, in which he had to film scenes showing men castrated; one a historical epic that had only one powerful male character, and he's castrated by a woman, though he gets some sort of revenge later; another a more justified use of castration, but one he films in a way that makes some people raise an eyebrow - THEN he gets a chance to write, produce and direct a feature, and he chooses to make it about a trio of beautiful, vulnerable, half-naked little twinks, and their prospective torture/lobotomy and castration in a fantasy. Think he's got issues yet?

Posted by: Ender at June 21, 2011 5:23 AM

AND for no apparent reason apart from "it's hot" he has the sexy youthful teen boys choose freely to have a fantasy that they are dancing on stage in-front of prospective castrators dangling their balls in front of them to distract them. Because that's what vulnerable people tend to do, imagine themselves dancing for prospective rapists/castrators.

Posted by: Ender at June 21, 2011 5:27 AM

PaddyDog Sorkin's women are intelligent, yes, but he seems to have difficulty writing for them unless they're playing second banana to men (Abigail Bartlet, Mrs Landingham, Donna, Joey Lucas, evey female in "The Social Network"). Give them some autonomous power and they morph into the shrewish and killable Mandy Hampton, the virago Amy Gardner, and the fruitcake Dana Whitaker.

Posted by: Xiufetish at June 21, 2011 7:29 AM