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Wait, Who Are You Talking To? Figments, Phantoms and Psychotic Breaks

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (26)

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Strangers: Dr. Malcolm Crowe—Can you think of anything more dreary than a ghost following you around and trying to psychoanalyze you? Also, am I still allowed to like this movie? Despite the subsequent Shyamalan shyams?
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Friends: George and Marion Kerby—Ah, that’s better. I’d take two loose cannon alcoholic ghosts in evening dress over Bruce Willis and his hair piece any day.
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Lovers: Caprica Six—One of my favorite part about Tricia Helfer’s performance is that she combines sex and menace so flawlessly. With every kiss she looks like she’s about to bite poor Baltar’s face off.
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Partners: Al—I always wanted an Al (and a Ziggy!) of my very own. Whenever I play pool, I think of the episode of “Quantum Leap” where Al and Ziggy plotted all the angles on the table for Sam so he could impersonate a pool shark. P.S. Is Scott Bakula’s face here not the epitome of “Oh boy”?
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Fathers: Old Hamlet—Alas, poor ghost, not pictured, Horatio. This ghost, in fact, only shows up a few times, but his presence looms in every scene.
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Father Figures: Oliver Wells—We’re never sure if “Slings and Arrows” lead Geoffrey Tennant is being haunted or has lost his tenuous grip on reality, but if you are going to be plagued by someone, at least it’s someone who can help you put on “Macbeth” (which, I’m sure you know, is incredibly difficult to stage effectively).
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Cuddly Rabbits: Harvey—Confession? Harvey totally terrifies me.
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Absolutely Terrifying Rabbits: Frank—But not as much as Frank.
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Good Looking Dudes: Tyler Durden—Like, really, really, ridiculously good looking.
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Ditto: Sam Wheat—Hey man, you can quibble about Swayze’s hotness all you like, but the man danced his way into my heart at a tender age. Young hearts never forget.
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Joanna Robinson chooses to be haunted by Oscar Wilde…as long as we’re choosing. My mots would be the bonniest.









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Comments

Topper?! Oh man I loved that movie when I was younger and somehow forgot all about it until just now. Thanks!

Posted by: JenVegas at March 2, 2011 4:10 PM

I can't comfort you right now - I'm on hold.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 2, 2011 4:10 PM

I am risk the wrath of PaddyDog by saying this, but beware Topper JenVegas. It might be best to just cherish your memories. It doesn't hold up too well.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 2, 2011 4:12 PM

NO GHOSTING!

Posted by: branded at March 2, 2011 4:15 PM

If you add Angels, you can put Jimmy Stewart on there twice with Clarence for "It's a Wonderful Life."

Posted by: mswas at March 2, 2011 4:39 PM

Harvey - so glad you included this! Invisible rabbits are the best kind.

Posted by: TS at March 2, 2011 4:39 PM

He's a pooka.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 2, 2011 4:42 PM

I never understood the concept of naming invisible friends Poooo-something.

Harvey the Pooka
Winnie the Pooh
Pookie

Posted by: BWeaves at March 2, 2011 4:49 PM

I was thinking a great SRL would be characters you never see on screen. Maris on Frasier, Tito on My So Called Life, Stan on Will and Grace. There are so many!

Posted by: MiniTs at March 2, 2011 4:59 PM

BWeaves,

Winnie the Pooh wasn't invisible or imaginary. She was a black bear from White River Ontario who ended up in the London Zoo during the Great War. Named after her owner's home town, Winnipeg.

Posted by: Wintermute at March 2, 2011 5:07 PM

Duh, John Crichton from Farscape. he even names his hallucinatory figment with the S&M wardrobe Harvey. FTL, Joanna!

Smashing picture of Gaius Baltar and Number Six, tho.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at March 2, 2011 5:13 PM

@Wintermute

Maybe you know this already, but there's a statue of Winnie the cub and a Canadian soldier in Assiniboine Park.

I wonder if jM knows about this? I'm sensing a weekend getaway in the works.

Posted by: Groundloop at March 2, 2011 5:26 PM

What about the four who follow Robert Downey Jr. in Heart & Souls? If I'm going to be haunted, I feel I could do a lot worst than Alfre Woodard, Charles Grodin, Kyra Sedgwick, and Tom Sizemore.

Posted by: Siege at March 2, 2011 5:43 PM

Re: Good-looking dudes: Charles (Paul Bettany) in A Beautiful Mind.

Posted by: Samantha at March 2, 2011 5:47 PM

I wouldn't mind having Caprica Six hallucinations even if they randomly smashed my head into mirrors. Same goes for Tyler Durden...mmm...

Posted by: Joker at March 2, 2011 5:55 PM

Don't pick Oscar Wilde - here's what happens:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkB4OzvILvY

Posted by: Three-nineteen at March 2, 2011 5:58 PM

good God just one glimpse of Frank sets my teeth on edge. That rabbit is fucking terrifying and, I suspect, largely the reason I don't revisit Donnie Darko too often.

Posted by: Even Stevens at March 2, 2011 6:01 PM

William Hurt/Kevin Costner - Mr. Brooks. Fun!

Posted by: Chickaboom at March 2, 2011 7:05 PM

but, Harvey was real? he was just invisible.

I guess the little kids finger from the Shining doesn't count, does it?

When I rewatched BSG, it bothered me that no one noticed how batshit Gaius was, constantly wandering talking to himself, seeming to get thrashed by invisible beings and sexing up someone who wasn't there.

Of course, i live in a country that had a Prime Minister that used to get advice from his dead dog, so perhaps it was entirely plausible. sigh.

Posted by: idleprimate at March 2, 2011 7:19 PM

How can anyone be afraid of Harvey?

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at March 2, 2011 7:23 PM

Bweaves, Harvey gets a pass on that one. A pooka/puca is a shape-shifting goblin in Celtic mythology. They tend to show up in animal forms, like horses or goats or...rabbits. It's not Harvey's nickname, it's what he is. Although I guess you could argue the original word comes from the same desire to call things poo-whatever.

Posted by: dr. pisaster at March 3, 2011 1:33 AM

A couple of other suggestions...

Imaginary movie star mentor - Play It Again, Sam

Imaginary riotous British friend - Drop Dead Fred

Posted by: Simon at March 3, 2011 5:38 AM

idleprimate,

That's because Gaius doesn't do that. Almost all of his conversations with Six are in his head. He doesn't act them out, or speak out loud. It's shown that way to artistically represent his mental state.

Posted by: John G. at March 3, 2011 5:47 AM

/idleprimate,

That's because Gaius doesn't do that. Almost all of his conversations with Six are in his head. He doesn't act them out, or speak out loud. It's shown that way to artistically represent his mental state.

Posted by: John G. at March 3, 2011 5:47 AM


Well, other than that time he got busted banging her/nothing in the lab.


Posted by: No Pithy Name at March 3, 2011 11:36 AM

"That's because Gaius doesn't do that all the time"

FTFY

Posted by: Ender at March 3, 2011 11:48 AM

Winnie the Pooh wasn't invisible or imaginary. She was a black bear from White River Ontario who ended up in the London Zoo during the Great War. Named after her owner's home town, Winnipeg.

Posted by: cosplay costumes at March 3, 2011 11:44 PM