Top Twelve American High Schools

Pajiba's Top Twelve American High Schools

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (43)

High school is a pivotal time in a young person’s life, when lifelong friendships are forged, extracurricular activities are savored, and people constantly and painfully die. Many of us never had the opportunity to choose the dispenser of our diplomas, but had we the chance, these fine institutions would more than likely have been our first choices. Those of you raising children and/or foreign orphans may want to consider relocating immediately to obtain the best for your offspring. We offer these twelve fine suggestions, at least until Hogwarts opens its American location.

12. Tromaville High School (Tromaville, NJ) (Class of Nuke ‘Em High)

11. Sky High School (somewhere above Northridge, CA) (Sky High)

10. Hubert Humphrey High School (Scottsdale, AZ) (Pump Up The Volume)

9. Rydell High School (Chicago, IL) (Grease, Grease 2)

8. Westerberg High School (Sherwood, OH) (Heathers)

7. Lee High School (Austin, TX) (Dazed and Confused)

6. Bayside High School (Palisades, CA) (“Good Morning, Miss Bliss,” “Saved By The Bell”)

5. Ridgemont High School (Ridgemont, CA) (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)

4. Xavier’s Institute for Higher Learning (Westchester County, NY) (The X-Men)

3. Rushmore Academy (Houston, TX) (Rushmore)

2. Sunnydale High School (Sunnydale, CA) (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”)

1. Shermer High School (Shermer, IL) (Weird Science, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, and National Lampoon’s Vacation — yes, all six of these movies were set there)

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Comments

I'd rather not go to Sunnydale. It's the only High School I know that has an obituary section.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 22, 2009 3:05 PM

I totally agree, Sunnydale High is awesome, so is Xavier High, but the mortality rate of those places would make the experience a wee bit dangerous.

Posted by: George at September 22, 2009 3:08 PM

Shermer? Really? I had no idea all those moves were set there. That is all kinds of awesome.

Agree about Sunydale. Plus, that school has a really weird Library. Super hot librarian though.
Giles' very British upper lip isn't all that I'd like to see stiff, if you know what I mean.
And you do.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 22, 2009 3:10 PM

True. Any school where 'gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker' is a bit too eventful for me. Not to mention, big snake at graduation.

Wait, all those movies were set in the same school? I did not know that. Now I hope that question comes up in a pub quiz one night...

Posted by: Tarn at September 22, 2009 3:19 PM

It's like he keeps telling everyone, Lindsey with an 'e', it's a war wound! That's why he walks with a limp and it looks so wooden.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at September 22, 2009 3:19 PM

from the greatest movie about religion ever made:

"Oh yeah. See, all these movies take place in a
town called Shermer, in Illinois. And there's all
this fine bush running around, and we could kick
all the dudes' asses because they're all whiney
pussies. Except Judd Nelson - he was harsh. But
best of all, there was no one selling weed. So I
says to Silent Bob "Man, we could live phat if we
were the blunt-connection in Shermer, Illinois!"
So we collected some cash we were owed, and caught
a bus. But when we got here, you know what we found
Out? There is no Shermer in Illinois. What kind
of shit is that?! Fucking movies are bullshit!"

Posted by: dammitjanet at September 22, 2009 3:24 PM

Bayside? Seriously? I have a dark feeling that had any Pajiban set foot in that school, there'd have been a lot of fighting and stabbing going on. I would've knocked up Lisa in a heartbeat and then where would I have wound up? That's right - at the bottom of the Porn industry, huffing glue and waiting for the other shoe to fall...

Bayside - puh-lease...

Posted by: Skitz at September 22, 2009 3:26 PM

Yes, all of those movies are set in Shermer. "Where all the honeys are top shelf, but all the dudes are whiny pussies. Except for Judd Nelson. He was fucking harsh."

"But you know what we found out when we got there? There is no Shermer in Illinoise. Movies are fuckin' bullshit."

Posted by: Sean at September 22, 2009 3:28 PM

Ah, Hubert Humphrey High... where the kids really don't have that much to complain about, and they still complain anyway.

Stupid teenagers.

Posted by: Todd at September 22, 2009 3:28 PM

Well Jim, I'm currently in the beginning episodes of Season 3 of Buffy, and so far I just want to re-live my college days of professor flirtation and seduction with Ye Olde Librarian, there.

Hmmm. That might have been a little bit TMI there.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 22, 2009 3:29 PM

Well, fuck, janet.

I might be two comments late, but my quotes are accurate. Take that!

Posted by: Sean at September 22, 2009 3:31 PM

Congrats, Sean. I copied mine from a script on-line. But, the sentiment is the same.

Posted by: dammitjanet at September 22, 2009 3:34 PM

No West Beverly Hills High School? Really? Dillon would be so disappointed. Then he'd look at you with a pouty expression. Then he'd fuck whoever Brandon was making a weak-ass play at.

Brian Austin Green is not pleased!

Posted by: admin at September 22, 2009 3:36 PM

Of course Brian Austin Green is not pleased. He's dating Megan Fox.

I imagine that being around the two of them is a bit like Lars and the Real Girl, but with less charisma.

Posted by: Sean at September 22, 2009 3:40 PM

Second list in a row that has missed an easy Veronica Mars reference... no Neptune High?

I am on Pajiba, right?

Posted by: Yossarian at September 22, 2009 3:47 PM

Sunnydale High is a death trap. I could never go there. They couldn't even have a prom without attacks from the undead/hell hounds. And that's both the movie and tv versions. Plus, didn't the Hellmouth open in the library that one time?

Posted by: Jeni at September 22, 2009 3:54 PM

One of the best Buffy episodes was at the end of high school, when all the students of Sunnydale-well the survivors anyway-gave Buffy an umbrella to symbolize how she had protected them. It was a nice acknowledgement that the students knew what was going on and just dealt with it. The room might have gotten a little dusty in that episode, but only because I'm a huge geek.

Posted by: mrcreosote at September 22, 2009 4:01 PM

My favorite is Padua High, from Ten Things I Hate About You. That place was a fucking castle with gorgeous hills and damn, if it had Heath Ledger it would be the best in the universe. Plus, the English teacher kicked ass.

Posted by: figgy at September 22, 2009 4:10 PM

Degrassi. Kevin Smith would rank it even above the precious Shermer of Jay's famous rant.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 22, 2009 4:13 PM

Bomont High in footloose. Tractor 'chicken' racing as a sport! No dancing! Book burning celebrations! What more could you want?

Posted by: Fancyfree at September 22, 2009 4:16 PM

My mistake! Degrassi is Canadian!

That whole "American" usage to refer to the U.S. has always bothered my brain, though. Couldn't anything in North America or South America be described as American?

Westerberg rules, by the way. Rushmore is so overrated.

Oh, and how about San Dimas? Time-traveling with Bill and Ted would be awesome.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 22, 2009 4:17 PM

What about Herrington High School in The Faculty?! C'mon! You've got the T-1000 as a phys-ed coach (which means all the kids could be freakishly built), you've got Salma Hayek as a nurse (which means I would be skinning my knees and coughing a lot), you've got Jean Grey as...who the fuck cares, it's Jean Grey! You'd never fall asleep in class because you'd be masturbating!

But perhaps the most awesome point yet...you've got Jon Stewart as a science teacher! If anything, I would think learning science through the wit and wisdom of Mr. Stewart would be the clincher. Imagine how he'd pick on the smartasses who don't know how to keep their goddamn mouths shut in class! Also, he could bring his friend Adjunct Professor Colbert in to talk about evolution/defeat the alien menace/bag the cheerleader at the end of the film.

Posted by: DoctorControversy at September 22, 2009 4:28 PM

You'd never fall asleep in class because you'd be masturbating!

Actually I would probably fall asleep from too much masturbating. And then where would I be? In the nurse's office. And the whole vicious circle would start again. So much chafing…

Posted by: henchman for hire at September 22, 2009 4:35 PM

SANDIMASHIGHSCHOOLFOOTBALLRULES!!!!

And I second the motion that Neptune High should have been included.

Posted by: JH at September 22, 2009 4:40 PM

Rydell high may have been in Chicago in the play and in the script but no way was that movie high school in Illinois. They filmed it in SoCal and never made mention of Chicago. They made no attempt to have any of it look remotely like Illinois. Since when does IL have aqueducts you can race cars in?

Posted by: ed newman at September 22, 2009 4:54 PM

HOGWARTS

Posted by: jasper at September 22, 2009 4:57 PM

Second Padua High from 10 Things I Hate About You. That place ruled. Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon Levitt...delicious. And Allison Janney rules.

Posted by: kx2 at September 22, 2009 4:59 PM

figgy & kx2,

"Padua" High School is actually a real high school called Stadium High in Tacoma, WA (near Seattle). It really looks just like a castle and has that great view of the water and mountains and everything. True fact: my great grandmother went there.

Posted by: MM at September 22, 2009 5:13 PM

Yeah, Padua High is pretty and all, but you have that 'Tacoma Aroma' to deal with.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 22, 2009 5:17 PM

But just to fuck with your heads a bit more...Sunnydale High is the same as West Beverly High. By which I mean, filmed in the same school. It blew my mind the last time I saw a Beverly Hills 90210 rerun.

Than it just made me wish that 90210 had ended with Donna, David, Kelly, Brandon, et al. being eaten by a giant snake.

Posted by: KDM at September 22, 2009 5:22 PM

I went to a school in England that was exactly like HOGWARTS only without the magic. OK, it had magic of a different kind. I loved it. It was in a big old Victorian mansion with twists and turns and secret hallways and stairwells, and every classroom was on a different level (up 3 stairs, down 3 stairs, through a secret passage way). There were 4 houses, all named after former headmistresses. I don't think the place exists anymore, but I still have my school uniform and school tie.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 22, 2009 6:04 PM

I'd like to nominate Cornwall Academy, Cornwall, Connecticut. (Outside Providence)

"Today you should've seen me and Mousy today at school today. I got cocked on a pint of Blackberry brandy, ate some THC on the bus. We were fucked. This teacher Mr. Rivera goes, "What's wrong with you Delaney?" I go, "I'm totally fucked, maaaaan!" Everybody laughed like a bastard."
-Drugs Delaney

Posted by: MarcusArilius at September 22, 2009 6:45 PM

"P.S. - Mousy says he stinkfingered Bunny Cote."

Posted by: MarcusArilius at September 22, 2009 6:49 PM

Second list in a row that has missed an easy Veronica Mars reference... no Neptune High?

I am on Pajiba, right?

Posted by: Yossarian at September 22, 2009 3:47 PM

DAMN straight! Do not ever pass up an opportunity to post a kristen bell video pajiba.

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at September 22, 2009 6:49 PM

BWeaves, me = jealous as hell

Posted by: dammitjanet at September 22, 2009 7:07 PM

god i have to be the dork to correct this but they went to JFK junior high school in Indiana during the miss bliss years

Posted by: brian at September 22, 2009 8:27 PM

Neptune High is a terrible school! Double standards, favoritism, parties rife with date rapists, thievery, students dying all the time, crazy people working maintenance... Most of the teachers don't give a frak anyway, and the one who did slept with a student.

Posted by: muzz at September 22, 2009 9:51 PM

Bronson Alcott High School.

Posted by: Monica at September 22, 2009 10:11 PM

Seriously mate, was the deleted scene from the high school not on youtube? I watched the preview and there was nothing in it about high school at all. If I didn't already know what you were talking about I would be so confused.

Posted by: Morgan Lefai at September 23, 2009 4:50 AM

Hill Valley High/ Parallel Hill Valley High from the back to the future series seem pretty decent. Honorable mention anyone?

Posted by: Danny Smooth at September 23, 2009 8:20 AM

WTF, no Dillon High School, Dillon TX??

They have Coach TAYLOR there, and RIGGINS, for fuck's sake!!

Posted by: cheryl at September 23, 2009 9:13 AM

How about Jerri Blank's Flatpoint High? Stephen Colbert as a teacher? *swoon*

Posted by: PeePants at September 23, 2009 9:39 AM

Lee High School (from "Dazed and Confused") is really based on Lee High School in Houston,TX. They actually used to really do the things that they did in the movie at that high school. My husband went there and they continued the tradition of beating freshman boys and humilating freshman girls into the 90s.

Posted by: efficacy at September 23, 2009 9:44 AM

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