The Top Ten Costumes I'd Most Like To See At This Repulsive "Hackers And Hookers" Party

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The Top Ten Costumes I'd Most Like To See At This Repulsive "Hackers And Hookers" Party

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | October 24, 2013 | Comments ()

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ValleyWag is reporting that some grown-ass men (and possibly women, but I doubt it), in their infinite wisdom, are throwing a “Hookers and Hackers” party in Silicon Valley this Friday. The delightfully themed party is being thrown by a tech collective called “Hacker Hideout” and if you thought it might be a fun, subversive sort of “let’s drink and flip gender norms” party I’m sorry to tell you that the promise of “Girls” on the same list as “Shot Bar” and “Food Truck” tells a different story. Listen it’s one (disgusting) thing for frat boys to emerge from their Axe Body Spray Fog Fugue every so often to throw a “Golf Pros and Tennis Hos” party. It’s disgusting, but they’re children. Children do disgusting things. But adults? “Professionals?” Repulsive. Here are the ten costumes I’d like to see at the party. You have the power, Silicon Valley. Make it so.

Acid Burn — Hackers

Gigolo Joe — A.I. Artificial Intelligence

Barbara Gordon aka Oracle — Various DC Comics
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Deuce Bigalow — Of Male Gigolo Fame
Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo still 3.jpg

Lex — Jurassic Park

Julian — American Gigolo

Lisbeth Salander — The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Dermot Mulroney — The Wedding Date

Mac — Veronica Mars

Ratso or Joe Buck — Midnight Cowboy
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*Isn’t it interesting how fond our culture is of the word “gigolo?” Gents are so lucky to have a kinder, gentler word for “prostitute.”

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Jezzer

    Since they so helpfully mentioned "Girls" in their ad, I think female attendees should dress up -- well, down -- as Hannah Horvath and spend the entire evening whining at the top of their lungs.

  • carrie

    totally OT but Angelina Jolie's face has changed much since

  • Keh_Squared

    How could you neglect Julia Stiles as a Erica Danby, a hacker in the awesome PBS show, Ghostwriter?

  • Wigamer

    I must admit, I would not mind a Gigolo Joe of my very own.

  • Ok hold the phone. Let's be clear, here.

    This is a party sponsored by a startup business selling TO technical professionals. That does not in any way imply that it was started BY technical professionals.

    Now let's think about this. Where do many of these bros end up after graduation. Did someone say business school? Why, yes! I think you're right. Training to be the next generation of business leaders. The future is indeed bright.

    How about those recently graduated Greeks who take their crisp new BBA, management, or Marketing degrees and hit the job market? Why many of those end up in sales and marketing. People dedicated to drawing in their identified market through any means necessary.

    Now, who on earth might be responsible for a marketing event around Halloween hoping to draw customers to their new startup? Why executives, marketing guys, sales-folk. But wait, who do we have here around the marketing brainstorming table shouting out obscenity-flecked ideas while ogling the new intern's "caboose"? Are those? Could they be? Why YES! It's our long-lost bros.

    Back off on blaming this one on the nerds, is what I'm saying. You know who put this BS together. The same people watching "Big Bang Theory" and thinking, "Oh, that's just like those nerds."

  • Legally Insignificant

    How about Roy from The IT Crowd? Have you tried turning me off and turning me back on again?

  • emmalita

    Even better, the calender geeks.

  • Kris

    I don't know that 'gigolo' is that much better of a word. It sounds like a disease. Can't you just see and hear that in your head? "I have bad news for you, sir. I ran the tests, and it looks like you have gigolo. We're going to have to operate right away."

  • Sara_Tonin00

    one interesting difference is that "prostitute" is also a verb. But yeah, I don't find "gigolo" to be a kinder softer word

  • bastich

    I'm an 80's kid, so I can't think of the word "gigolo" without hearing it in my head in David Lee Roth's voice.

    So if it's a disease, it sounds like a hell of a festive one.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Did you know there's a Bing Crosby version of that song?

  • bastich

    I did not know that. Thank you, Mrs. J.!

    The Crosby version is nice, but Dave's addition of "hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla boobuhla hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla bop" does so much more to enrich the narrative of the song. :)

  • Uriah_Creep

    Goddammit, Bastich, now I have that running through my head on a loop. I'm going to have to hunt you down like a rabid dog.

  • bastich

    /prepares "Who Let The Dogs Out" and "Chili's Baby Back Ribs" earworms for self-defense

  • Uriah_Creep

    That's cruel and unusual punishment.

    * counters with "Mambo No. 5" *

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    What I want to know much are they paying those girls to attend? It better be good otherwise I don't know what their excuse is.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Since they're underage it will probably cost more than it would to bring in "women", not to mention the legalities.

  • Bodhi

    If only Lisbeth Salander could actually show up... That would be fun to watch

  • alannaofdoom

    BRB gotta write some fanfic now.

  • SelenaMac

    I'd read that.

  • Berry

    Oh Mac, how I love thee, let me count the ways...

  • NateMan

    Speaking as an IT professional working in one of the few mature, well-socialized IT groups I've ever come across, this doesn't surprise me one little bit. Particularly on the office drone level I've come across few stereotypes more accurate than the one about repulsive, arrogant, condescending, and sexist IT staff. I wish it wasn't so, because it gives us all a bad name. But I'd say a solid 2/3rds of them would think this was a great idea, and expect every woman to be dressed like a cheap prostitute.

  • Maguita NYC

    Don't worry your superior feminist IT ass about the boys in your club, quite sadly, there will be girls showing up dressed as such, and even surpassing (undermining) expectation.

    How can we override extremes and find a fun middle ground nowadays? Wish we could celebrate Halloween and party with a bit of snark and hilarity, but a lot less assholish behavior. From all sides.

  • NateMan

    I do love when girls dress sexy for Halloween. I won't deny it. But I don't want it to be an expectation. Also, at least here in MA, it's really hard to do properly. Because the resulting hypothermia isn't sexy to anyone except necrophiles. No matter what the girls dress like at the beginning of barhopping, by the end of the night they're all just Smurfette in odd costumes.

  • Maguita NYC

    Hey I love it when men dress sexy as well! No one is negating the attraction we find in same or opposite sex! I even joke about my moistened lioness at the sight of one (or two) specific underwear hunks.
    But I never under any circumstance expect my hot model to turn into a smurf on my account. Nobody would gain anything with him losing digits to frostbite. The thought saddens me to no end.
    Me and my lioness. :(

  • Ben

    Well now you're just making me feel awkward about my planned sexy smurf costume...

  • lowercase_ryan

    I feel bad for the well intentioned food truck that gets mixed up with this crap.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Another perfect costume (specifically, the guy in the middle):

  • BWeaves

    I guess this is the new version of the Tarts and Vicars party?

  • Legally Insignificant

    Every time I hear the word "vicar," I'm reminded of the episode of Friends where Joey finds Rachel's romance novel.

  • Professor Sara

    I mean, it's like a goalie, right?

  • Mrs. Julien

    I've read a romance with a hot vicar. Correction: Scalding. Scalding hot vicar.

  • Mrs. Julien

    It's nice of them to have included "girls" in the party amenities.

  • bastich

    I found it funny how they added "girls" last, almost as an afterthought.

    Maybe the amenities were listed in order of priority?

  • NateMan

    Probably more in expectation of what will be there. "We know we'll have Coors Light and a flat floor. Maybe we'll get lucky and someone will show up to feed our lardasses and let us ogle them."

  • bastich

    Even if any costumed ladies did show up, you know the party would just break down into mass accusations of "fake nerd girls" anyway.

  • Maguita NYC

    Or there would be no interaction whatsoever. Everyone stay in their corner, and shy away from un-virtual banter!

  • Maguita NYC

    What do you have against Coors Light?... Oh wait! Now I remember everything. Blehrhg.

  • NateMan

    Only that it's urine flavored water. I'd have to mainline the crap just to get a buzz and avoid the flavor.

  • Maguita NYC

    Oh peepaw, I knew you were kinky but did not know Halloween was the fĂȘte of golden showers and drinking.

    When imbibing, people should always stick to the clean clear nectar of the gods: Gin.

  • phase10

    The magic blue potion is the way to go.

  • Maguita NYC

    I sadly, in my utter and shameful ignorance of anything beer, never had any Pabst Blue in my life before, and had to actually google what it is... I'm betting this was a case of ignorance is bliss, right?

  • phase10

    Oh no, I was referring to this
    I don't drink domestic beer unless it's Shiner or some local craft brew. My wife calls me a beer snob, but I like beer like I like my women...full-bodied. Hey-Yo.

  • Maguita NYC

    I'm upvoting but with an eyeroll! :p

  • bastich

    Oh yes. Pabst is another synonym for " blehrhg".

  • bastich

    Unless Pabst Blue Ribbon has opened its own distillery, I don't think that nectar will be showing up at this party.

  • NateMan

    Ick. Why not just drink Lysol and get it over with?

    Golden showers aren't just for Halloween any more, you know.

  • Maguita NYC

    I'm old-fashioned that way :D

  • Mrs. Julien

    Beer must be feeling slighted that it's not higher up on the "things" to get list for the party.

  • bastich

    I was reading it the other way around:

    "Okay haxxor bros, we have beer and a dance floor. Do we need anything else? Think think think...."

  • Conor

    I love the look on Oracle's face in that picture.


  • Legally Insignificant

    Also, what is Catwoman doing?

  • bastich

    Adjusting her Catgirls?

  • lowercase_ryan

    Beta testing some crazy new Oakleys.

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