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The Top Ten Films of 2009

A Pajiba Prediction / Dustin Rowles

Seriously Random Lists | December 17, 2008 | Comments (60)


As we near the end of 2009 and approach 2010 with a sense of optimism — after President Obama’s successful first year in office and the speedy recovery we’ve made from the deep recession of 2008 — let us take a look back at the year in films. Thanks t to that recession, numbers overall were down from a stellar 2008, when The Dark Knight went on to become the second highest grossing film of all time. Pajiba — now the largest independently ran pop-culture website on the Internet — gives you the top ten film of 2009:

The Ten Top Grossing Films of 2009

10. Angels and Demons ($142 million): It was worse than The Da Vinci Code, and Ron Howard again tarnished his resurgent reputation (after the Oscar nomination for 2008’s Frost / Nixon), but the same mass-market paperback crazies and older people flocked to it, nudging Angels and Demons slightly ahead of the youth skewing Twilight sequel, New Moon, for the 10th spot. Looks like Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight franchise is already losing its legs.

9. Sherlock Holmes: ($151 million): There were a lot of reservations from a lot of people about the box-office viability of Sherlock Holmes, especially one as stylized as Guy Ritchie’s. But, the hugely popular Robert Downey, Jr., won over a lot of converts, while Rachel McAdams — coming off of two of the more successful films in the early part of the year, The Time Traveler’s Wife and State of Play — brought in a nice chunk of the female demographic. It was one of the few successes in 2009 that crossed over heavily into both the adult and youth demographics …

8. Public Enemies ($159 million): … and Michael Mann’s Public Enemies was the other one. With Christian Bale and Johnny Depp leading the way, Mann reinvigorated with crime drama with his take on the 1930s mafia.

7. X-Men Origins: Wolverine ($175 million): A critical failure and a disappointment with most audiences, Wolverine nevertheless opened with huge numbers ($85 million opening weekend) in May before limping to $175 million. It nevertheless left a sour taste in most moviegoer’s mouths, seriously jeopardizing the X-Men franchise, as well as the potential Deadpool spin-off, which is now DOA.

6. Watchmen ($185 million): After the biggest March opening of all time, Zack Snyder’s comic book film got a mixed reception from critics and audience — the effects were eye-popping, but many of the Alan Moore purists were pissed with Snyder’s take on the classic comic book.

5. Star Trek ($192 million): J.J. Abrams Star Trek origins story brought in millions of newcomers to the franchise without too terribly disturbing the Trekkies. While it received a generally mixed reaction from critics — many of whom were displeased with the casting of Chris Pine — audiences ate it up and Abrams benefitted heavily from an otherwise lackluster May at the box office.

4. Up ($221 million): Once again, the ever-consistent Pixar machine delivered a huge box-office hit. Not as critically beloved as Wall-E, Up nevertheless pleased both kids and adults alike, generating box-office numbers on par with previous Pixar outings.

3. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ($250 million): If you’d watched the original Transformers and the sequel back-to-back, it’d have been difficult to tell the difference between the two. The sequel scored $70 million less than its predecessor, but Revenge of the Fallen nevertheless owned the box office over the 4th of July, guaranteeing a 3rd film and further boosting Shia Labeouf’s box-office prowess.

2. Terminator Salvation ($290 million): The 4th movie in the franchise, a reboot of sorts, decimated the box office; it was the number one film for four consecutive weeks in late May and through June, delivering a $90 million opening and maintaining solid numbers for most of the summer. For Christian Bale, it wasn’t too much of a fall-off from his number one film in 2008, The Dark Knight, but unlike that film — which boasted the Oscar nominated performance of Heath Ledger (robbed in the supporting actor category) — Christian Bale owned Salvation, setting the franchise up for two more movies in the planned reboot trilogy and, unfortunately, solidifying McG as the next generation’s Michael Bay.

1. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: ($294 million): In a year with no Spider-man or Batman movies to steal its thunder, the sixth movie in the Harry Potter franchise delivered numbers on par with its predecessor, Order of the Phoenix. It wasn’t the best film in the series, but did an excellent job of setting up the last two films, Deathly Hallows parts I and II. To the surprise of some, the box-office numbers were neither hurt nor hindered by the paparazzo’s obsession with Emma Watson, who had a bit of a sex scandal herself in the early part of the year.


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Comments

Brilliant. Dustin, you've outdone yourself.

Posted by: Macafee at December 16, 2008 3:08 PM

That is kind of frightening. I still don't like the look of that new Terminator - it seems bargain basement to me even with Christian Bale involved.

Posted by: twig at December 16, 2008 3:08 PM

Decaptitated Bunnies...

Merry xmas?

Posted by: Recondite at December 16, 2008 3:08 PM

Decapitated

Posted by: Recondite at December 16, 2008 3:09 PM

whats going on here? im scared you guys

Posted by: joe sixpack at December 16, 2008 3:11 PM

That was a most excellent typo, Recondite. I had no idea breasts were such a menace to fluffy bunnies.

Posted by: Julie at December 16, 2008 3:11 PM

Hmm. Now I'm a little depressed, because I think you might be right (except for that part about Pajiba being the largest independently run site).

Posted by: Cindy at December 16, 2008 3:12 PM


Remind me again, what month was it that the stock market had that incredible recovery?

Posted by: Drake at December 16, 2008 3:14 PM

Now I want it to be the end of 2009 to see how right you were. I'm predicting mostly correct, with a couple upsets.

Posted by: Snath at December 16, 2008 3:15 PM


I think you're way off with Star Trek and Sherlock Holmes (I doubt either will break $100K), but the rest seems pretty accurate.

Posted by: Drake at December 16, 2008 3:17 PM

Hahahahahaha, Cindy, you're AWESOME!

Posted by: Sofía at December 16, 2008 3:18 PM

Doctor Who doesnt do past-tense future end of year reviews but if he did do past-tense future end of reviews they would probably be the best ever.

Or in the past-future tense.

Posted by: jim at December 16, 2008 3:18 PM

I really can't say that I'd argue with the list at all, some of the reviews however....

And I gaurantee that Emma Watson sex scandal. I have been planning for six months already.

*giggles menacingly gleefully*

Posted by: admin at December 16, 2008 3:20 PM

This is fucking creepy.

Posted by: J_Capri at December 16, 2008 3:25 PM

A critical failure and a disappointment with most audiences,

YOU TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK NOW!!!

Posted by: Melody at December 16, 2008 3:25 PM

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b73374_new_moon_rises_next_november.html

Mark my words, the Twilighters are gonna get Golden Compass'd out of the next two sequels. Finally, Chris Weitz does something right! I can see it now...he removes all the romantic elements, cuts half of the major events from New Moon, and ends the film just as Bella is about to save Edward from committing suicide; simply because "it's a good starting off point for the sequel."

He's gonna make the screenplay squeal like a pig.

Posted by: Mike R. at December 16, 2008 3:29 PM

He's gonna make the screenplay squeal like a pig.

May God have mercy on his everlasting soul if he angers the Twilighters. They are great in number, and they are rabid.

Posted by: Clee Shay at December 16, 2008 3:33 PM

Let's hear it for Arrested Development, what what!

Posted by: Lucie at December 16, 2008 3:34 PM

They are great in number, and they are rabid.

Yes, they will cut themselves and cry until he feels bad.

Posted by: admin at December 16, 2008 3:38 PM

It was aweful nice of those Harry Potter folks to hold off a year (though I do hate them so for it) and let TDK bask. Wait, is Harry Potter a super-hero?

Posted by: ThunderSacTriumph at December 16, 2008 3:45 PM

YOU TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK NOW!!!

Jeez, serious good cop/bad cop going on there. I believe Dustin is presenting this round-up from the future, but it will obviously be written by someone else. Dustin knows how to spell Spider-Man so I won't grumble at him for someone else's mistake.

Of course, if Dustin somehow brings the beefcake to the masses now then cuts said cake's throat himself next year, that'd be pretty damn cold, man. I can't be sure one way or the other concerning possible lackluster results, I'm just kinda sad that I'm not excited about that movie in the slightest now. 1, 5 and 6 I'm in painful anticipation of, but that's me.

Posted by: Jay at December 16, 2008 3:46 PM

Jay, I refuse to hear bad things about Wolverine, no matter how much cheese or how stupid it is.

Posted by: Melody at December 16, 2008 3:48 PM

All I see is darkness, Chani.....darkness and a buncha Paheeba sex symbols...and Liev Schrieber looking silly...I can no longer see an X movie.......nnNNGGAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Posted by: Jay at December 16, 2008 3:56 PM

Question: How do the bunnies "scream in agony" if their heads have already been "hacked off"? This goes against everything I ever learned in biology and documentaries about the French revolution.

Posted by: Ali at December 16, 2008 4:26 PM

The Watchmen purists won't have that much of an effect on the box office. There aren't enough of them, and they'll all see it at least once no matter what. Either it catches on with the mainstream or it doesn't.

An $85 million opening weekend for the Wolverine movie is a depressing concept, and I'm not sure I see that happening. I'm certainly not chomping at the bit to see it.

Cute quip about Emma Watson. God forbid an 18-year-old (or just on the verge of 18) have - *gasp* - sexual urges or sex, for that matter. I'm sure the "scandal" was overblown. :- )

Good lord. Another Transformers movie? That's this year? I don't think I can take it. Also a good quip about the similarity of the two. The first one is dung, and I expect the second will be dung as well.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 16, 2008 4:33 PM

They would find it hard to scream with their throats cut, as well.

Posted by: Snath at December 16, 2008 4:35 PM

The Wishful Thinking list, huh?

Posted by: ph at December 16, 2008 4:48 PM

How can you predict the Top 10 Movies of 2009 without including Madea Goes To The Strip Club?

Posted by: JP at December 16, 2008 4:52 PM

Hello from the future, Pajibans!

Well, this must come as a surprise, huh? The lumpy drunk somehow cleaned up his act, separated from his host, and wound up involved in a highly experimental medical trial? A dangerous surgery pitting genetic host against parasitic conjoined embryo, resulting in two separate individuals?

Has the world gone mad?

Not unless your idea of "mad" is the liberating release of a tortured soul trapped in a turkey-clawed lump for close to three decades "mad". The future holds many possibilities, my friends! Perhaps most notably, the advancement of the Large Hadron Collider, the unexpected end result of which allows time travel through a series of wormholes.

You see, Pajiba-Con 2009 somehow resulted in Jeremy, my worthless drunk of a brother, awaking and finding himself engaged to a member of The Royal Society of Chemistry in London. During a post-coitus smoke (no, the patches didn't work), he drunkenly mistook the Collider for a "goddam gigundo fucking Ferris wheel" and somehow managed to "correct" a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. This connection had previously melted in the last half of 2008, halting any further testing. Miraculously, and perhaps fittingly, the problem was solved by bashing the previous incarnation of yours truly against the system operating panel.

Long story short? We wound up in the future. I'm famous from multiple book deals and movie offers, while he's living broke in Conrad's basement. Dustin's review is dead on. And Emma Watson? Spectacular in the sack...

Be kind to your conjoiners folks, you never know what the future holds...

Best,
Wendel

Posted by: Wendel (formerly Minimus) at December 16, 2008 4:59 PM

How can you predict the Top 10 Movies of 2009 without including Madea Goes To The Strip Club?

Is that the movie with the poster that has that girl with really nice behind standing in front of the mirror with a wedgie?

If so, I agrees.

Posted by: ajax19 at December 16, 2008 5:03 PM

In that case, I'm not going. And from now on? Good luck making a Dirty Stoli with the one claw. Asshole...

Tonight I'm sleeping on my right...

Posted by: Skitz at December 16, 2008 5:09 PM

What, no Movie Movie?

Posted by: JP at December 16, 2008 5:19 PM

Mostly right with a couple of exceptions...

Take Star Trek off the list...I don't think it's going to do nearly as well as you seem to think, DR.

Move Watchmen near or to the bottom...hear me out. I'm just as excited to see it as most of you are, but I don't know that the audience is out there for it.

And put New Moon just behind Wolverine at #7. The teenage girls (and the 40 year old ones) will make sure of it.

Posted by: Smokin at December 16, 2008 5:30 PM

Am I to believe nobody has acknowledged the brilliance of Skitz/Wendel?

You people have more smug clouding your heads than George Clooney's acceptance speech.

All hail Skitz/Wendel.

*slaps five/turkey claw*

Posted by: Sofía at December 16, 2008 5:40 PM

Dustin: Brilliant review!

I can now satisfy myself with a year full of Netflixing.

Oh! And "Decaptitated Bunnies" should be added to the Pajiba Dictionary.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 16, 2008 5:44 PM

I knew the typo wasn't going to be overlooked.

On a side note: "I challenge you to a duel at the Breastriary in Nipplopolis."

Posted by: Recondite at December 16, 2008 5:55 PM

I have to know if the predictions are true Wendel. Does Tyler Perry really become America's first black and white President?

Posted by: admin at December 16, 2008 6:02 PM

It's scary to think how close to accurate this list may be since it has nothing to do with how good these films may (or most likely, may not) be. It's all left up to their marketing - which is what Hollywood today wants. And since people - some who lurk here at pajiba - are suckers for this crap, no matter how bad the reviews, no matter how idiotic the trailers look, NO MATTER WHAT, people will still turn out by the short-busloads to see these films.

Boycott them. Boycott them all.

Posted by: B-Unit at December 16, 2008 6:50 PM

Dustin, only a man with supreme confidence and unmatched intellect can predict that "Harry Potter", "Terminator Salvation", and "Transformers" will become the highest grossing films of 2009. Sir, you are peerless.

Posted by: Pookie at December 16, 2008 6:50 PM

Actually, forget the bunny ads - how the hell did Pajiba (the third-most-swearingest site on the interwebs) end up with "Christian Cinema" advertising on it? Who on earth out of this crowd of fornicators and moral reprobates do they think they're marketing towards?

Posted by: Shay at December 16, 2008 7:18 PM

What scares me most is that the advertisers MIGHT KNOW SOMETHING. What if, and sorry for introducing the fear...Pajiba DOES become the mostest bestest film site BECAUSE they attract a demographic for whom these ads are like jelly beans? They just might be the types to ignore the turkey claw love we all have going on here and 'First!!1!' us all to tears and madness. How on earth can we figure out a way to get Pajiba super-mega successful, and yet still retain our elitist cred?!? HOW, I ask!

Membership cards?...I...I dunno. I'll be up at three a.m. worrying, if you have any ideas.

Posted by: replica at December 16, 2008 8:43 PM

You're wrong. Half-Blood Prince is going to suck donkey balls, and Twilight 2 (Nightlight?) is going to be in the top ten. Oh, and X-Men 3 already put the X-Men franchise in jeopardy.

Posted by: Lucas at December 16, 2008 8:45 PM

Skitz, we still love you. You'll always be the main of the faction to me.

Posted by: Cindy at December 16, 2008 9:01 PM

Nice job but if you actually think Night at the Museum 2 won't rank in the top ten you're kidding yourself.

Posted by: tommiblank at December 16, 2008 9:18 PM

Shit, I'm skipping the new year and going right back to bed. Congratulations on you, Pajiba, for making it big next year. But shame for wasting your time travel powers and not bringing something to our day and time we really need, like dinosaurs. :(

Posted by: pianosolo at December 16, 2008 9:23 PM

Dustin may be on to something. I've been seeing new faces in these parts. And I'm none too happy with it. We've got our screwed up mythology and I don't cotton to no one comin' along questioning it.
*Lurker Approaches Optimus picking away at his banjo on a tree stump, humming "Rainbow Connection"*
L: Pardon Me, sir. Where can I find the Pajiban Drinking Game I've heard so much about?
OR: *Takes a Deep Swig of A Jug Labeled XXX*
Back the Way You Came.
*Cocks Shotgun*
*End Scene*

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 16, 2008 10:09 PM

Membership cards?...I...I dunno. I'll be up at three a.m. worrying, if you have any ideas.
--------------------------------------
Posted by: replica at December 16, 2008 8:43 PM

Secret gang signs? You could be like the Bloods or Crips but, you know, more selective in your violence (sometimes).

(|)
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TURKEY CLAW MOTHERFUCKER!

Posted by: admin at December 16, 2008 10:13 PM

*sorry

(|)
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Posted by: admin at December 16, 2008 10:14 PM

Oh, right, there's a "Night at the Museum 2". Yeah....that'll kick someone out. There's not a "Cheaper by the Dozen 3" too though, is there?

Oh, don't act all horrified, I know you've all considered the possibility before.

Such blanket negativity going on here though. Mercy mercy me.

Posted by: Jay at December 16, 2008 10:59 PM

I believe the working title is "Cheaper by the Baker's Dozen"

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 16, 2008 11:09 PM

The fact that you mentioned The Time Traveler's Wife is already bringing tears to my eyes. I hope my future self is enjoying it along with Public Enemies.

Posted by: Laur at December 17, 2008 12:37 AM

Wolverine will definitely be better than The Last Stand- are you kidding me?

Posted by: ueberbill at December 17, 2008 9:02 AM

Every comic book movie ends up the same.

Huge box office numbers. Comic enthusiasts pissed. Sequel gets even larger intake. Comic enthusiasts still pissed but go anyway to see the further degradation of their one true love.

Rinse and repeat.

Posted by: The Lulz at December 17, 2008 4:27 PM

i hardly remember any of these movies

i think i've been asleep all year

did you make them up?

Posted by: Plobes at December 17, 2008 4:59 PM

oh i get it now

Posted by: plobes at December 17, 2008 5:00 PM

Oh go!
another post about how awesome Christian Bale and Shia Labeouf are...

Posted by: Mario at December 17, 2008 6:34 PM

2009? how? its still december 26 2008!

Posted by: hellboy.1992 at December 26, 2008 7:29 AM

Those are words that I never want to see or hear again: "Shia LaBeouf's box-office prowess". He's really just Michael J. Fox 20 years later. Transformers is the easy blockbuster franchise that Back To The Future was. You could have had pieces of shit in the place of people in Transformers (the acting would have been the same) and it still would make bank. If LaBeouf wasn't Spielberg's illegitimate son, he wouldn't have a career.

Posted by: Rufus Teague at January 20, 2009 8:50 PM

No, trust me .. Star Trek @ no.3 - its going to be Simon Pegg's year..

Posted by: aggh! at January 22, 2009 5:34 AM

Obama will not be able to fix the country. That means everything this guy wrote will probably be wrong too.

Posted by: Andrew at February 5, 2009 8:17 PM





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