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The Pajiba 10: 1994 Edition

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (44)

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The Year: 1994. Quentin Taratino’s break0-through hit Pulp Fiction debuted that year; Tom Hanks owned the box office and the Academy Awards with Forrest Gump; the Lion King cornered the kiddie market for the final year (Toy Story would debut in 1995); Reality Bites opened that year as the first mainstream Gen X movie; Ace of Base, Boys II Men, Salt n’ Peppa, and the Crash Test Dummies dominated the music charts; police engaged in a slow-speed chase with O.J. Simpson that year; Tonya Harding faced off against Nancy Kerrigan in the Olympics, Kerrigan placed second, Harding placed 8th; Woodstock ‘94 commemerated the 25th Anniversary of Woodstock; we were all wearing Tommy Hilfiger and cooking on George Foreman grills.

All things considered, 1994 was a terrible year in pop culture. If Pajiba was around, this probably would’ve been that year’s Pajiba 10.

Claire Danes

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Ethan Hawke

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Nia Long

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Johnny Galecki

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Robert Sean Leonard

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Winona Ryder

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Keanu Reeves

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Janeane Garofalo

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Alicia Silverstone

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Johnny Depp

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Comments

I don't know, Robert Sean Leonard is still pretty foxy today. Or at least that's what I tell myself to keep the tears away while I jerk off to my House/Wilson slashfic.

Posted by: Snath at August 23, 2011 12:10 PM

Jesus I had such a boner for Robert Sean Leonard it's insane. This list brings back lots of fond memories; oh how I wish I could go to the roller rink again and rock out to 'I Saw the Sign', but alas, the rinks have disappeared though the shitty music stays the same.

Posted by: Grover at August 23, 2011 12:13 PM

There's no chance Jared Leto wouldn't have made this list.

Posted by: Repo at August 23, 2011 12:19 PM

The celebrity pictured above most likely to have been on my Top 10? Kenneth Branagh. Oh, hellooooooooooo, Benedick. *slurp*

Posted by: Samantha at August 23, 2011 12:21 PM

Robert Sean Leonard and my Johnny on the same page...unghhhh....don't mind me! Too much hotness!

Posted by: Gigi at August 23, 2011 12:23 PM

Agree with Repo, you can't have Claire Danes up there and no Jared Leto. Jordan Catalano was the illiterate heart throb of the year.

Posted by: Longi at August 23, 2011 12:27 PM

Yeah, Robert Sean Leonard still pretty much has it. And I still love Angela Chase and Nia Long. And Winona Ryder (most of the time). Everyone else I'm kinda so-so on.

Posted by: Sassafrass Green at August 23, 2011 12:29 PM

I feel bad for Nia Long being put in the same frame of reference as Janeane Garofalo.

Posted by: william at August 23, 2011 12:48 PM

Subtract Ethan Hawk and nailed it.

Posted by: anikitty at August 23, 2011 12:54 PM

Oh this just made my whole day. THANK YOU.

Posted by: grace b at August 23, 2011 12:55 PM

1994, the first thing I think of is Friends. Didn't that show explode all over our teevees right around that time?

Also, I have always harbored an admittedly irrational hatred for Alicia Silverstone. So thanks for that, 1994.

Posted by: Skyler Durden at August 23, 2011 12:57 PM

Johnny Galecki? It may seem cliche now, but Brad Pitt was in both Interview with a Vampire and Legends of the Fall that year and was at the height of his pretty. Also, Val Kilmer would've been coming off of The Doors, True Romance and Tombstone. We would have been his huckleberry.

Posted by: branded at August 23, 2011 1:01 PM

Branded: Amen on the Brad Pitt front.

Chris Cornell was so gorgeous then. Claire Danes was, and remains, plain.

Posted by: samantha t at August 23, 2011 1:09 PM

YES YES YES!! But agree on the Brad Pitt part.

Re: Friends - it did come out that year but didn't really become huge after a year or two.

Posted by: MissRos at August 23, 2011 1:28 PM

Alicia Silverstone didn't turn 18 until October of 1994, so I doubt that she would have been on the list-- especially since Clueless didn't come out until the following summer. I can't see Pajiba raving about the Aerosmith chick.

And on the age front-- Claire Danes would have been only FIFTEEN in 1994. You creeps.

Posted by: BleakSauce at August 23, 2011 1:46 PM

1994 was a terrible year in pop culture.

If you were listening to shitty music, I guess it was.

we were all wearing Tommy Hilfiger

Is this another "by 'we' I mean 'me'"? Back off with that tar brush, bucko.

Posted by: Jay at August 23, 2011 1:59 PM

Refresh my memory...what part did Val Kilmer play in "True Romance"?

Posted by: bethers at August 23, 2011 2:00 PM

Agreed with Jay-- music was pretty solid in 1994 (Definitely Maybe comes to mind). And I don't know a soul who wore Tommy Hilfiger then.

And also, it was a fantastic year in film-- Pulp Fiction, Shawshank, Ed Wood, Three Colors Trilogy, Quiz Show, Hoop Dreams, Forrest Gump, even Lion King and Four Weddings and a Funeral if you're into those sorts of things. One of the all-time great film years.

Posted by: BleakSauce at August 23, 2011 2:04 PM

i hatehatehate jared leto, but this list is not complete without jordan catalano.

Posted by: Jeannine at August 23, 2011 2:07 PM

Back in the early 1990s, I had a temp job in the DA's office of a California county that shall remain unnamed. There was a cafe near the courthouse with a barista who was a dead ringer for Robert Sean Leonard. My gay supervisor was a big Dead Poets Society fan, and would manufacture any excuse to leave the office and go chat the poor guy up. Not only was the barista not gay, he was utterly taken aback, and more than a little creeped out, by this older (mid-50s) campy dude who insisted on monopolizing his time while he was at work. I can't see RSL in anything without remembering that job, and that cafe, and the way my supervisor cried like a child when he learned that the barista had quit and moved away. (I always wondered if the "moved away" part was a lie told by the cafe staff just to head off any incipient stalking.)

Posted by: PDamian at August 23, 2011 2:10 PM

No, Val Kilmer would have been our huckleberry.

Posted by: Little Boy Blue at August 23, 2011 2:26 PM

Galecki, really? There is no way. First he was too young. Second he was too weak. Third he wasn't all that cute. Pajibans would have been much more likely to go for his TV brother, Glenn Quinn.

And like there is no way Brad Pitt wouldn't have been on this list, George Clooney would have been on this list as ER became a big hit that year. Noah Wylie and Julianna Margalies would have gotten consideration as well. Linda Fiorentino, just off The Last Seduction, would have made my list for sure.

Posted by: ed newman at August 23, 2011 2:28 PM

I'm with everyone on the Robert Sean Leonard love. He's still adorable to me. I met my husband in 1996, and thought he kind of looked like RSL (heavy brows, hooded eyes, squinty smile. . . .). He's got more of a Bridges brother thing going now, but that's fine too.

Posted by: Captain Tuttle at August 23, 2011 2:30 PM

Agreed with Jay-- music was pretty solid in 1994

Yes, that Ace of Base was the shit, yo.

Posted by: Skyler Durden at August 23, 2011 2:36 PM

Yes, that Ace of Base was the shit, yo.


In the words of Dean Keaton: It was your mistake. Not mine.

Posted by: Jay at August 23, 2011 2:41 PM

Wtf?? Why so many dudes? Don't you know the Internet is for men!?

Posted by: Chuck at August 23, 2011 2:43 PM

Refresh my memory...what part did Val Kilmer play in "True Romance"?

Elvis Presley/"Mentor"

Posted by: branded at August 23, 2011 2:43 PM

Every year has its share of crappy music-- tell me what you think is the greatest year in music history, and there will be some awful songs that were big that year.

1994 had Definitely Maybe, Grace, Parklife, Day For Night (for us Canadians), Weezer's Blue Album... And in terms of concerts, there was Woodstock '94, Lollapalooza... I mean, I saw Pink Floyd and Green Day (coming off of Dookie) that summer. It wasn't the best year in music, but it was far from the worst. And along with the great movies of that year, for the author to say that 1994 was a terrible year for pop culture... That's just stupid.

Posted by: BleakSauce at August 23, 2011 2:48 PM

Once Kurt Cobain died it was the beginning of the suck.

Posted by: Darth Darko at August 23, 2011 2:58 PM

Nia Long and Wynona Ryder have a shared monopoly on grown-woman cute. Veronica Mars and that cheerleader who needed to save the world (or something) could totally take lessons.

Posted by: Lisa at August 23, 2011 3:11 PM

Thanks for adding Cool Breeze over the Mountains. He takes his knocks for the acting but he is a handsome boy. 94 was the year of Speed and he was effin gorgeous in that.

Posted by: kirbyjay at August 23, 2011 3:33 PM

I have been watching Reality Bites on Netflix every Saturday. Every damn time I want to be Lelaina and never wear a bra again. No. Really, I want to be Winona and I still want her hair.

Posted by: jubilat at August 23, 2011 4:18 PM

I want to watch Reality Bites immediately. Like right now. And then I'm going to get out Empire Records, and wish I had spring shoelaces and my Tamagotchi and some Gak. Goddamn, being a kid in the 90s was cool

Posted by: Laurie at August 23, 2011 5:24 PM

Even in 1994 I knew who Milla Jovovich was, so I think she would've been on my list back then.

Posted by: Todd at August 23, 2011 5:45 PM

Definitely Milla for me too. As well as Ms Stacey Dash.

Posted by: Shane at August 23, 2011 6:11 PM

Kurt Cobain was hot, too. If there had been internet for everyone in 1994 we would've been subject to some pretty awesome Cobain-Ryder fanfiction. Provided by me, of course.

Posted by: Sofia at August 23, 2011 6:43 PM

Um...JORDAN CATALANO?

Posted by: KC at August 23, 2011 8:55 PM

Is it too much for me to hope that Winona Ryder has a Robert Downey sized comeback?

Posted by: John W at August 23, 2011 9:26 PM

Ok, for those pissing in music from 1994, here's a brief reminder of what came out that year:
-Ill Communication, Beastie Boys
-Portrait Of an American Family, Marilyn Manson
-Youthanasia, Megadeth(FAVORITE ALBUM EVER!!!)
-Question the Answers, Mighty Mighty Bosstones
-The Downward Spiral, Nine Inch Nails
-Portishead, Portishead
-Blood Sugar Sex Magik, Red Hot Chili Peppers
-Liquor In The Front, The Reverend Horton Heat
-Low, Testament

And that's just of the top of my iTunes list. So NYAH to you, haters!

Posted by: Danny from Puerto Rico at August 23, 2011 9:38 PM

Ms. Chanandler Bong would have been on my list. And definitely Val Kilmer. Oh my. That was his Golden Age.

Posted by: Az at August 23, 2011 10:17 PM

No Uma Thurman? :(

Posted by: Sage at August 24, 2011 1:14 AM

Um, Scully? Gillian Anderson at peak of X Files. I want to believe.

Posted by: Tao at August 24, 2011 1:25 AM

Yeah....Claire Danes was either 14 or 15 in 1994 you big fucking creeper :)

Posted by: Kate at june at August 24, 2011 8:04 AM

Most assuredly BloodSugarSexMagik did not come out in 94

Posted by: wicked whisper at August 25, 2011 11:05 PM