The Pajiba 10: 1982 (The Year of the Mullet) Edition

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (25)

1982: Toni Basil’s “Mickey,” Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock n’ Roll,” and Tommy Tutone’s “867-5309/Jenny” topped the charts that year. It was the year that Michael Jackson’s Thriller was released. Poltergeist scared the bejesus out of America, Blade Runner opened in theaters, as did E.T. The Extra Terrestrial . For some reason, work-out videos featuring Jane Fonda and Olivia Newton-John were all the rage. “Dallas” was the top-rated TV show in America, Sarah Jessica Parker had a TV series called “Square Pegs,” Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man were hugely popular, and the kids emulated Flock of Seagulls in their hairstyles. Why? I have no idea.

And if Pajiba were around, we would’ve worn mullets, novelty Warriors overalls and leggings (ironically, of course), and this would’ve been the Pajiba 10 that year.

10. Kim Cattrall (c. Porky’s)

9. Richard Gere (c. An Officer and a Gentleman)

8. Valerie Bertinelli (c. “One Day at a Time”)

7. Scott Baio (c. Zapped, “Joanie Loves Chachi”)

6. Diane Franklin (c. The Last American Virgin)

5. John Ritter (c. “Three’s Company”)

threes company2.jpg

4. Jennifer Jason Leigh (c. Fast Times at Ridgemont High) (This is the NSFW version of why)

3. John Schneider, Tom Wopat and Catherine Bach (c. “Dukes of Hazzard”)

2. Harrison Ford (c. Blade Runner, and two Star Wars films were re-released in 1982)

1. Phoebe Cates (c. Fast Times and Ridgemont High and one year before Private School)

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Comments

Is it wrong that I started giggling at the sight of Kim Cattrall as 'Coach Lassie' from Porky's? Loved that scene.

Posted by: The Wanderer at October 27, 2011 9:34 PM

Like all your picks except Valerie Bertinelli. I have no idea why she would be on the list. Magnum PI, Cheers and Family Ties were on the air, as was Hill Street Blues. Late Night with David Letterman debuted. Certainly one of those would have produced a more worthy Pajiba 10 candidate.

Posted by: ed newman at October 27, 2011 9:58 PM

Valerie Bertinelli is cute, ed newman. Whatchew talkin bout?

Posted by: John G. at October 27, 2011 10:07 PM

Wow, John Ritter looks like a cuter Zach Braff in that picture. I now see why they cast him as his dad in the early seasons of Scrubs.

Posted by: Marcela at October 27, 2011 10:22 PM

God Harrison Ford was such a big delicious specimen, wasn't he?

Posted by: klingonfree at October 27, 2011 10:31 PM

I had SUCH a crush on Bo Duke.

Posted by: agent bedhead at October 27, 2011 10:38 PM

Oh, Diane Franklin! If ever there were a list for actors whose careers should have taken off but never did, she'd be at the top. I always thought she was utterly charming, and deserving of better roles than that of "the girl."

Someone mentioned Hill Street Blues. I had a massive, massive crush on Daniel J. Travanti.

Posted by: PDamian at October 27, 2011 11:08 PM

Richard Gere. Oh my.

I rewatched An Officer and a Gentleman the other day and remembered how fucking hot he was. I mean, he still is hot as a Silver Fox but it's hard to get to SF status unless you start out as a ....with the good stuff. (I would've stayed with the fox imagery but Black Kit just didn't work and sounded stupid.)

Posted by: Shonda at October 27, 2011 11:27 PM

Mr. Julien feels that this list needs Heather Locklear and Emma Samms.

1982 would have been the beginning of a very long and drawn out Harrison Ford phase. Now, I can't see it at all. Tom Selleck? That's eternal. He looked like he had walked out of a romance novel (and not some Harlequin crap, I'm talking Kathleen Woodiwiss). By popular demand (it's just me), once again I present my Tom Selleck story:

My sisters and I were watching the Emmy awards and my mother walked in to check on us. At that point, Tom Selleck came out in a white dinner jacket to present an award. My mum stopped dead in her tracks and exclaimed, "WHO IS THAT?!". She also had a thing for The White Shadow.

I would be remiss if I did not mention (and hold up a fist in solidarity with Stinky) Sam Elliott who was smokin' hot then, is smokin' hot now and will be smokin' hot when his earthly remains are reduced to literal ashes.

Wait a second. 1982. Tom Selleck. Sam Elliott. The Shadow Riders anyone?

http://www.dvdinmypants.com/reviews/O-V/shadow_riders.php

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 27, 2011 11:41 PM

Wow, My best fríènd ,she just has annóuncéd hér wēddīng wīth a rich mān who is a cèlèbrìty !They mèt via~~~~Sugarmingle.Сσм ~~~~ ..it is the lārgēst and bēst clúb for rich man with yung and beautiful woman and theìr àdmirèrs to chát ōnlìnè. …You do nǒt hávè to bê rīch ór fāmóùs. ,bùt yōu cān meēt yóùr trùē lòvê , It’s wòrthy ǎ try!

Posted by: Dancy at October 27, 2011 11:50 PM

Mrs. Julien is absolutely right, especially about Holly Sutton Scorpio.

But really, how come only the shit gets remembered? 1982 should get more love:

Husker Du, "Everything Falls Apart"

U2, "October" (technically, October 1981)

Prince, "1999"

REM, "Chronic Town"

Lou Reed, "The Blue Mask"

Bad Religion, "How Could Hell Be Any Worse?"

Just to name a few.

Posted by: , at October 28, 2011 1:33 AM

1982 is the year that I was born, and that's all that matters. Deal with it.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at October 28, 2011 1:50 AM

ed newman, Valerie Bertinelli is on the list because when most viewers saw her for the first time, she was standing next to Mackenzie Phillips. Suddenly she was The Most Beautiful Thing Ever on Television.

Posted by: Craig at October 28, 2011 10:24 AM

Even though I, too, was born in '82, Phoebe Cates in Fast Times still represents what brought me careenining into manhood, even though I didn't see the movie for another 13 years. The header and her entry pic still give me shivers.

Hell, in my mind, she could still be in our 2012 Pajiba 10.

Posted by: RobP at October 28, 2011 10:52 AM

Diane Franklin is lovely, but if The Last American Virgin doesn't make you want to murder her, or at least her character, then you are fucking Gandhi.

Posted by: Todd at October 28, 2011 11:17 AM

"People on Quaaluedes should not drive"

Posted by: Odnon. at October 28, 2011 12:04 PM

Umm...Pre-crazy Sean Young (who was in Stripes in 81 and had Young Doctors in Love later in 82) and Darryl Hannah (who had a TV movie with Joan Collins and and then Summer lovers a movie about Europe and threesomes)?

Or maybe this is just the 12 year old version of me happy that my friends mom didn't realize Blade Runner was rated R. Boobs!

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at October 28, 2011 1:40 PM

but of course Phoebe should still be and will always be number 1. go puberty!

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at October 28, 2011 1:41 PM

What is up with Catrall's eyebrows? They look like Dali pasted half a mustache over each of her eyes.

Posted by: Bert at October 28, 2011 3:16 PM

Sean Young was crazy in 1982, either a) you just didn't know it yet or 2) she was on the line of the hot/crazy scale so you didn't notice (thanks, Barney!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zADosF3XoQ

Posted by: Three-nineteen at October 28, 2011 4:38 PM

Phoebe (I hope her tits keep bouncing til I cum) Cates still is the hottest female to have ever graced the silver screen ....

Just sayin .... that lucky bastard, Kevin Kline!!

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Posted by: Matthew C. Kriner at December 18, 2011 1:52 PM

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The Pajiba 10: 1982 (The Year of the Mullet) Edition

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