Pajiba

"When you jump squeeze your ass cheeks together or water will fly up your butthole and pulverize your intestines."

~Juan, Club Dread

What, no Pacino speech from "Any Given Sunday"? That shit rocks, in a weird kind of way. Inspirational, though. YouTube that shit.

"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. The way you win a war is to make the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

The Patton speech is just the best.

Henry V Speech:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAvmLDkAgAM

#1 is mislabled.. it's team america there, not south park. get your shit together!

Animal House: Otter's defence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MFGeEil090

Say Anything: Lloyd's future plans (sorry, low quality)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj3Syni1smY

C'mon, there's at least three other contenders out there, all presidential:

Michael Douglas in The American President (The "I AM the President of the United States" speech, which inspires you to take what's yours and run with it.)

Harrison Ford in Air Force One (The "Peace isn't merely the absence of conflict, it's the presence of justice." speech, which inspires you to pay attention to the worldview, and speaks volumes against unilateral thinking.)

and lastly, Jack Nicholson in Mars Attacks (The "I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad." speech, which inspires you to smile...even though everything is fucked six ways from Sunday School.)

How could you forget Animal House?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MFGeEil090&feature=related

"Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make people... better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave. "

It's long as fuck, but...

"I was warned not to come here. I was warned. They warned me, "Don't stand behind that coffin." But why should I heed such a warning, when a heartbeat is silent and a child lies dead? "Don't stand behind" this coffin. That boy was as pure and as innocent as the driven snow. But I must stand here, because I have not given you what you should have. Until we can walk abroad and recreate ourselves; until we can stroll along the streets like boulevards; congregate in parks free from fear, our families mingling, our children laughing, our hearts joined - until that day we have no city. You can label me a failure until that day.

The first and perhaps only great mayor was Greek. He was Pericles of Athens, and he lived some 2500 years ago, and he said, "All things good on this Earth flow into the City, because of the City's greatness." Well, we were great once. Can we not be great again? Now, I put that question to James Bone, and there's only silence. Yet could not something pass from this sweet youth to me? Could he not empower me to find in myself the strength to have the knowledge to summon up the courage to accomplish this seemingly insurmountable task of making a city livable? Just livable. There was a palace that was a city. It was a PALACE! It was a PALACE and it CAN BE A PALACE AGAIN! A PALACE, in which there is no king or queen, or dukes or earls or princes, but subjects all: subjects beholden to each other, to make a better place to live. Is that too much to ask?

Are we asking too much for this? Is it beyond our reach? Because if it is, then we are nothing but sheep being herded to the final SLAUGHTERHOUSE! And I will not go down that way!

I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what's within me is also WITHIN YOU.

That's why I ask you now to join me. Join me, RISE UP with me, RISE UP on the wings of this slain angel. We'll rebuild on the soul of this little warrior. We will pick up his standard and RAISE it high! Carry it forward until THIS CITY - YOUR CITY - OUR CITY - HIS CITY - IS A PALACE OF GOD! IS A PALACE OF GOD! I am with you, little James. I am you."

TK, I'm with you: that speech in Necessary Roughness is *awesome.*

"YOU GO OUT THERE! YOU TEAR THEIR FUCKING HEADS OFF, AND YOU SHIT DOWN THEIR NECKS! Let us pray."

Priceless.

What about "supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!"

Least inspirational: "Ni!"

/history major

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at November 6, 2008 4:01 PM

/loves you. Gettysburg is the tits.

Lean On Me is one of my FAVORITE movies EVER. Yay.

What about Phyllis's motivational speech in Troop Beverly Hills, though - - they're at the annual Wilderness Girl Jamboree???

Ick, sorry malikvlc but Viggo Mortense's horribly nasal voice (not to mention the total butchering of Tolkien's brilliant speeches) totally ruins that speech for me. Haaate it. I feel embarrassed for everyone involved and it made me want to punch Peter Jackson in the groin.

Uh...hey I still like Theoden's speech. DEAATH!

"Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow...

How did it come to this?"

This list is a little guy oriented. Where are all those nice ladies that were posting here the other day?

Oh god Lizardqueen that scene in Casablanca made my heart grow two sizes.

Oh, also this speech from Rudy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27D4k3dCXPg

From Johnny Be Good:

"...I don't care what those pinko commies say ,there is winning and nothing else!You wanna lose ,then go to Russia...."

Glengarry Glen Ross Bitches!

"PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN, COFFEE IS FOR CLOSERS!!"

Aaaaaand then these beauts from Fight Club:
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. "

I'm incredibly lame, but I still really like Col. Jessup's speech in A Few Good Men.

"Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls need to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and curse the Marines; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to. "

I have clit wood for Aaron Sorkin. There's probably a good 30-1,689,580 speeches from The West Wing that always always make me cry.

"In life, you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W67H4k-Asf8

A speech with no speaking: When Norma Rae holds up the "Union" sign and everybody turns their machine off in solidarity. Tears, I tell you, tears.

Norman Dale's speeches in Hoosiers....lump in the throat every time.

I get chills everytime I see this scene from The Contender, and find it very inspirational. Seems rather timely too.

Gotta love Jeff Bridges - he pulls off the President and the Dude with equal aplomb.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw5wetGMCrA

Joan Allen's speech is pretty great too...

Hanson: Mr. Chairman, ladies and gentlemen of the Committee:

Remarkably enough, it seems that I have some explaining to do. So, let me be absolutely clear.

I stand for a woman's right to choose.

I stand for the elimination of the death penalty.

I stand for a strong and growing Armed Forces because we must stomp out genocide on this planet, and I believe that that is a cause worth dying for.

I stand for seeing every gun taken out of every home -- period.

I stand for making the selling of cigarettes to our youth a federal offense.

I stand for term limits and campaign reform.

And, Mr. Chairman, I stand for the separation of Church and State, and the reason that I stand for that is the same reason that I believe our forefathers did. It is not there to protect religion from the grasp of government but to protect our government from the grasp of religious fanaticism.

Now, I may be an atheist, but that does not mean I do not go to church. I do go to church. The church I go to is the one that emancipated the slaves and gave women the right to vote. It gave us every freedom that we hold dear. My church is this very Chapel of Democracy that we sit in together, and I do not need God to tell me what are my moral absolutes. I need my heart, my brain, and this church.

Right lads, now, I know there's not a faint heart among you, and I know you're as anxious as I am to get into close action. But we must bring them right up beside us before we spring this trap. That will test our nerve, and discipline will count just as much as courage. The Acheron is a tough nut to crack... more than twice our guns, more than twice our numbers, and they will sell their lives dearly. Topmen, your handling of the sheets to be lubberly and un-navy like. Until the signal calls, you're to spill the wind from our sails, this will bring us almost to a complete stop. Gun crews, you must run out and tie down in double quick time. With the rear wheels removed, you've gained elevation. and without recoil, there'll be no chance for re-load, so gun captains, that gives you one shot from the lardboard battery... one shot only. You'll fire for her mainmast. Much will depend on your accuracy... however... even crippled, she will still be dangerous, like a wounded beast. Captain Howard and the marines will sweep their weather deck with swivel gun and musket fire from the tops. They'll try and even the odds for us before we board. They mean to take us as a prize.
And we are worth more to them undamaged. Their greed... will be their downfall. England is under threat of invasion, and though we be on the far side of the world, this ship is our home. This ship, is England. So it's every hand to his rope or gun, quick's the word and sharp's the action. After all... surprise is on our side.

So maybe it's not conventionally inspirational, but something about the way all that crazy 19th century navel terminology just rolls off of Russel Crowe's tongue just makes me feel special and all soft on the inside.

Because I am a big dork.

Skitz you beat me to it. How this wasn't number 1 is beyond me. Butthole

CAN YOU DIG IT

The Donald Sutherland part, as Mr. X. Whether or not you see the movie as plausible or not, his explanation of the Vietnam War entry is fantastic.

Crash Davis, before walking out on Annie Savoy.

"...Roy Batty's "Tears In Rain" speech..."

So is it "shoulder" or "shores" of Orion?

Aahhhh, Scent of a Woman...great choice!

Erin and Julie those are two of my favorite choices and two fine speeches indeed.

Now, what I would have liked to see is a kind of odd choice I guess, but it's from Charlie Chaplin's The Great Dictator. It's a beautiful scene in the film and I highly admire it because it was written during war time and Chaplin had a lot to lose by doing it. He did it anyways, and he spoke out about the atrocities of war and what was going on in Germany.

So here it is, my vote for one of the greatest movies speeches of all time:

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible - Jew, Gentile - black man - white.

We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness - not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls - has barricaded the world with hate - has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man - cries for universal brotherhood - for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world - millions of despairing men, women, and little children - victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say: 'Do not despair.' The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you and enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate, only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural!

Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St Luke, it is written the kingdom of God is within man not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful - to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security.

By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason - a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us unite!

Where the fuck is Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea? That's my all time favourite!

What about Pacino in Looking For Richard?:

What shall I say more
than I have inferr'd?

Remember whom you are
to deal withal.

A sort of vagabonds,
rascals, and runaways...

...a scum of Bretons,
and base lackey peasants...

...whom their o'er-cloyed country
vomits forth...

...to desperate adventures
and assured destruction.


You sleeping safe,
they bring to you unrest.

You having lands,
and blest with beauteous wives...

...they will restrain the one,
distain the other.

And who doth lead them
but a paltry fellow?


...ere I let fall the windows
of mine eyes.

A milk-sop...

...one that never in his life felt
so much cold as over shoes in snow?



Let's whip these stragglers
o'er the seas again.


Lash hence these overweening
rags of France...

...these famish'd beggars,
weary of their lives.

If we be conquer'd...

...let men conquer us...

...not these bastard Bretons.

Shall these enjoy our lands?

Lie with our wives? Ravish our daughters?

Hark! I hear their drum.

Fight, gentlemen of England!

Fight, bold yoemen!

Draw, archers...

...draw your arrows to the head!

Spur your proud horses hard,
and ride in blood.

Amaze the welkin
with your broken staves!

Well, actually they showed a VERY SELECTIVELY EDITED version of that speech ...

Pink YES! That speech is awesome!

Crowe has never looked so good.

Also, if I remember correctly the speech from Army of Darkness is pretty awesome too.

"They look like big, good strong hands, don't they?"...

not exactly "inspirational", i know, but one of my favourites nonetheless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0VxGRWPh28

Alexandra: I agree with that assessment, and Tim Roth rocked his character.

Jesse Jackson's speech in Wattstax is the most inspirational speech ever and it's real.

I AM! SOMEBODY!

It was arguably one of Tim Roth's better roles (though he's got quite a few good ones under his belt) and the fencing (is it really fencing when it involves a claymore?) scene with Liam Neeson at the end is my favorite of all time. Now that's a bad-ass motherfucker (Also a good topic for a list - best fight scenes of all time. Has it been done?).

Also, figgy and pink, remember that you must always choose the lesser of two weevils.

Holy hell. Go read the last comment on the Election night open thread. Made me want to run through a cheesecloth curtain for the New Boss.

causaubon - - That's such an emotional part! Aw, Rockbiter, they do look like big, strong hands, buddy!

Have you all forgotten about Jim Carey's beautiful, moving, emotional speech? It spoke to me. It still speaks to me to this day.

"I am Heinz Skitzvelvet. Trainer of dolphins. You vant to talk to zee dolphin, you talk to me. HAPPENED TO ME??? Vhy do you care about zee dolphin? Do you know him? Does he call you on zee phone? DO YOU HAVE A DORSAL FIN? To train zee dolphin you must sink like zee dolphin. You must be getting unside zee dolphin's head. I am saying to Snowflake EEEeee eee eee eeee. And he is saying to me: Aeeee EEEe EEE EEEE. And you can quote him *spit*"

I have shortened it and preserved the most powerful parts. I hope that it helps all of you the way it's helped me.

Alexandra, hee hee.

I must now watch that movie. Must.

I am apparently the only person on the planet who has been mesemerized by Morgan Freeman's "Christians! I am not one of you but I fight!" speech in Robin Hood: Prince of Terrible Accents. Seriously?! That speech is brilliantly melodramatic. If there was ever a time when you imagined yourself denoucning your fealty to Alan Rickman, was it any time other than that? Plus, motherfucker looked cool after a four hour session with a Bedazzler. Jeezy Creezy. It redifines cheese, which is a bold statement, considering that this list includes Bill Pullman's greated role ever, which allowed him to say, "Exciting?! People are dying out there . . ." to DATA for pete's sake. Am I the only one. CRIPES!

Someone already beat me to it, but the half-time speech from Friday Night Lights is pretty high on my list. As much as I like it, I think the locker room speech from the first season finale of FNL the show was a little better (but not by much). Mainly because I heart Coach Taylor.

""When Jason Street went down the first game of the season, everybody wrote us off. Everybody. And yet here we are at the championship game. Forty thousand people out there have also written us off. But there are a few out there who still believe in you. A few will never give up on you. When you go back out on the field, those are the people you should have in your minds. Those are the people that should be in your hearts. Every man at some point in his life is going to lose a battle. He's going to fight and he's going to lose. But what makes him a man, is in the midst of that battle he does not lose himself. This game is not over. This battle is not over. So let's hear it, one more time together. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!"

Gets me EVERY TIME!

Yup. Tim Roth scared the hell out of me when I was young because of that movie.

Share your life and love with friends online. [__"seekingtall.com"__] it is a dating service for tall single guys or girls to find their romantic love. Maybe you will like it.Join it and find your girl or guy.

Yes but what about George Zip?

I can't believe no one has mentioned this one.

It just doesn't matter
It just doesn't matter

I wish I had the text of that speech memorized.

"I ain't much about no prayin', now. I ain't never had no family, and...killed off my mama. Well, I just... Y'all's the onliest family I got. I love the 54th. Ain't even much a matter what happens tomorrow, 'cause we men, ain't we? We men."

Chills... every damn time.

there needs to be a separate list for sports movie speeches. d2 would be there. remember the titans. "we will blitz ALL night, they will remember FOREVER the night they played the titans" followed by clothes-line tackles in the mud.

the affleck monologue from good will hunting when he tells damon that the best part of his morning is when he walks up to his door and hopes will won't be there.

all that good shit from gladiator.

Damnit...I meant "say"

You had me at "dicks fuck asses"

I know Python have had a run already, but this one always warms my heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T1LIrzsgqA

Way, way, WAAAAAY late, but here's some for the chicks....

Elizabeth: The Golden Age, to the troops on the fields at Tilbury:

My loving people. We see the sails of the enemy approaching. We hear the Spanish guns over the water. Soon now, we will meet them face-to-face. I am resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live or die amongst you all. While we stand together no invader shall pass. Let them come with the armies of Hell; they will not pass! And when this day of battle is ended, we meet again in heaven or on the field of victory.

Mathilda, in The Professional aka Leon:

OK. My family they got shot down by D.E.A. officers because of a drug problem. I left with the greatest guy on earth. He was a hitman, the best in town, but he died this morning. And if you don't help me, I'll be dead by tonight.

Several from a great movie Catwoman, in Batman Returns:

I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.

You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates.

[Catwoman is hit]
Catwoman: How could you? I'm a woman.
Batman: I'm sorry, I-I...
[she hits him]
Catwoman: As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. Life's a bitch, now so am I.

[Shreck shoots Batman]
Selina Kyle: You killed me... The Penguin killed me... Batman killed me... that's... three lives down. You got enough in there to finish me off?
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: One way to find out.
[Shreck fires two shots at Catwoman]
Selina Kyle: Four... Five...
[cracks her whip]
Selina Kyle: Still alive!
[Shreck fires two more]
Selina Kyle: Six... Seven... All good girls go to heaven...
[now within reach of Shreck; he pulls the trigger, but there are no bullets left; she laughs hysterically]
Selina Kyle: Two lives left. I think I'll save one for next Christmas. But in the meantime, how about a kiss Santi-Claus?
[grabs ahold of a power cable and moves towards Shreck with a stun gun and a kiss]

And, finally, the CLASSIC chick speech....

Scarlett: As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

You. Shall NOT. PASS!!!

Ben Affleck's speech in Good Will Hunting, when he shares a post-work beer with Matt Damon.

"No, you don't owe it to yourself, you owe it to me..."

I love it.