Pajiba

What? No Love Guru?

I'm going to be tarred and feathered for this...but I liked Wild Hogs. Ok, yeah, the plot was dumb, but movie dumb. I thought John Travolta was hysterical. The one thing that I thought was REALLY bad was Ray Liotta's character. That was awful...until the credits when Extreme Makeover Home Edition came and rebuilt their bar.

I'll see myself out.

I am proud to say I own none of these. I have seen 3 of them. My wife made me watch Wild Hogs because it had John Travolta in it. She tried to make me watch Good Lucky Chuck but I escaped. I watched Kangaroo Jack on a movie channel and I think I enjoyed it, but I was running a high fever and had accidentally taken a double dose of cold medicine about 20 minutes before it started. I vaguely remember Car 54, but not anything good, I just remember I saw it. I started to watch Son of the Mask but didn't make it through 15 minutes before returning the DVD and recommending they destroy all copies of it.

I didn't think Black Knight was that bad. It's just a mediocre movie. It's nothing worth noting.

And Jesse Metcalfe was hot as hell in John Tucker must die. But yeah, it was a shitty movie.

Haven't seen any of these, and can I still consider myself an RDJ completist even if I refuse to watch The Shaggy Dog? Please??

I've only watched one of these in its entirety. I'm quite comfortable with the label of "Jessica Alba's ass completist."

AS USUAL, I'm so confused. In my defense, though, I'm pretty sick today and on Dayquil and... oooh, pretty lights whaaa

Right. I've seen exactly one of these. Maybe. The one would be One Missed Call. The "American" version with Shannyn Sossamon. Because that's who I am. That's what I do. I see shitty horror movies. Even when they're shitty. Even where there is NO HOPE.

The reason I'm confused is, you have One Missed Call in the list, but the trailer is apparently for the Japanese version of the sequel. So are you trying to say the American version is irredeemable, or the Japanese sequel is irredeemable, or the (I'm sure there was one) American sequel is irredeemable?

Fuck it, they all suck, and I want to be in bed, not at work.

I haven't seen any of them and I haven't even heard of several of them. I would add De-Lovely to this list as not even Kevin Kline could save that movie.

I have seen John Tucker Must Die. I will try to make excuses (I had tonsillitis at the time, was too tired to reach for the remote, was passing out occasionally so I didn't see all of it etc. etc.) but nevertheless I watched that film. I must say that seeing the King of the Toads materialise from my curtains was actually funnier (until of course the Hellhounds followed and it was A&E time). I hope the producers are happy - my delirium induced hallucinations were better than that film.

I'm happy to report that I've only seen one! And that's only because I loved Britney Snow on Guiding Light and was hoping for big things for her. Oh well.

Also, what about Old Dogs? I never saw it but the commercials for it have scarred me for life.

The Hottie & the Nottie? Furry Vengeance?

The only version of The Shaggy Dog that should ever even be mentioned is the 1959 Walt Disney version. I'm going to pretend that no others exist (even my love for RDJ can't salvage THAT).

My son had insomnia last night, so he ended up watching Good Luck Chuck. Worked like a charm.....after the vomiting and diarrhea subsided. Of course, he is now being tested for brain damage, but we are hopeful that the high volume of alcohol we gave him to try to help him sleep blocked most of the potential harm of being exposed to Dane Cook (Jessica Alba's ass notwithstanding)

Now I liked Good Luck Chuck! I'm a sucker for Dane Cook and desperate leads, and once you get past the horrific Dane Cook porno montage (I know, eesh) its really not that bad by rom-com standards.

Not that it will do any good, but might I suggest swapping it for Fool's Gold, The godawful re-pairing of Kate Hudson and Matthew Macaugnay...this was another airplane fiasco and I got maybe 30 min in before I decided staring into the clouds was more entertaining.

In all fairness I think any of Jamie Kennedy's movies could be on this list.

I'll stick up for the one that no one is sticking up for - Beverly Hills Chihuahua. There is ONE redeemable thing - and that is the subplot involving rescued dogs. They rescue two dogs from a dog fighting ring, and they end up adopted by happy homes by the end. Sappy, unrealistic, borderline retarded? Yes - but ever so slightly redeemable a theme compared to the other awfulness on this list.

I would add "Taken" starring Liam Neeson. The only time I've ever needed to shower after watching a movie. It's vile and completely without merit.

Oh Liam...why did you do it? Why?!

I've seen none! (in triumphant voice)

Haven't seen any of these. Mostly because their trailers hinted at the purpose behind Dustin's list.

I'm aware that the first few minutes of both Kangaroo Jack and Son of the Mask have reared their ugly heads in my apartment. But usually only long enough to realize I'd rather chew broken glass at a Menudo reunion concert being held in the third concentric circle of Dante's inferno than watch either.

OOoohhhhh the header pic is freaking me out! What is wrong with his arm?!! It's all smooth and melty-looking, no folds in the elbow joint, and WHAT IS THAT FLESH LUMP HE IS TOUCHING HER HAIR WITH?!!

*shudders at imaginary sensation of Dane Cook stumpclaw dragging through her hair*

You're supposed to photoshop the creepy OUT of his face, not ONTO his body

I vote for How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It's amazing what you'll watch when you're stuck on an international flight.

I think you missed a couple.

Eight Below
August Rush
Eragon
Inkheart
Elektra
King Arthur
He's Just Not That Into You

And I've seen every damned one of 'em, so I can testify that they're not even worth the price of $2 worth of air conditioning at the cheap theater.

I saw Rumor Has It in theaters with some high school friends because we were all back in town and wanted to hang out, but were too impatient to wait for the movie we'd actually planned on seeing which was showing a half hour later. The premise was intriguing and a part of me really hoped for The Graduate-in jokes and actual decentness. Ten minutes in, however, we all realized we'd made a horrible mistake and spent the next hour and a half mercilessly lampooning it.

I would add Be Kind, Rewind to this list. I made it just past the Ghostbusters remake before deeming it completely unwatchable, turning it off, and deleting it from my computer.

Well, in my own defense I've never seen the whole of "Its' Pat". But the parts I did see had a cameo appearance by Ween, so there's that.....

I have only seen 2 of these, John Tucker I watched on holiday with my Dad (he watches pretty much everything that comes out and doesn't always have the best taste) and Rumor Has it came free with my HD DVD player so I watched it. I have seen worse movies than these though, When In Rome for instance. I didn't finish that!

Figgy, we are in agreement about Martin Lawrence, with the exception of that film he did with Shawshank Boy ("are you on two already?")

I liked Rumor Has It. Not only that, it has Shirley Maclean in it. Watching her is worth my while.

And "unredeemable? Shouldn't it be irredeemable? Spellcheck tells me 'unredeemable' isn't a word. Also not a word, 'spellcheck'....

@thenchonto: Be Kind, Rewind was godawful. You made it further than I did.

I'll admit: the concept behind Good Luck Chuck had potential. And I hope years down the road, some future filmmaker takes the idea and gives it justice -- with actual actors, romance, humor, and chemistry.

However, until then: stash all copies of the movie into a chest, which we will then load with weights and drop into the depths of the Marina Trench, and communicate with the sharks telling them to circle the area and attack anyone who draws near. And never mention its name again.

Saved from assured revocation of my Pajiba Commetor's Card- not only have I not seen any of these, I didn't even know they really made "It's Pat" into a movie. Just thought they talked about it... At least now I know why everyone always refers to Dave Foley as "Chris".. to me he will always be manservant Hecubus. Evil evil Dirty rotten evil.

I second Furry Vengeance. Also, honourable mentions should go to Garfield Gets Real, Transporter 3, Daddy Day Care and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas.

Of all these movies, I've only seen "Beverly Hills Puppy" and thought it was adorable until it got too long and boring. So, I must be brilliant!!!

I have to confess . . . watching the trailer for "Black Knight" makes me want to put it on my Nexflix list. Same with "Wild Hogs." They both look kind of fun.

P.S.: You can put just about every Jen Aniston movie on this list, right??

Judge Dredd and Big Mommas Houses. Anything with Rob Shneider as the "star". Norbit. The Love Guru.
you dont mess with Zohan.
Good Luck Chuck does not belong here.
There are way more carcinogenic movie products out there.
So many my brain wont let them all spill out in any coherent order.
Im stroking out trying to put them in order.
The Happening. Fuck Irony. That is a deal breaker.
The Village.
The most fertile man in Ireland. Take it for granted. This gives your eyes aids.

That C*NT Schneider made something called The Animal.
Irrefuckingdeemable. That is all.

So some people mentioned Bloodrayne and I just wanted to say that there's a guy in that movie who is currently a med school student.

He could be your doctor someday!

As mentioned previously, this list should be so much longer. If I listed every movie my friends and I consider irredeemable (not "unredeemable", dude), we'd be here all night.

Also, I demand equal time for Jessica Alba boob completists. Girlfriend has a kickin' rack.

supafly...you take that BACK about "White Chicks." That movie is my fucking "Citizen Kane." When she introduces the "girls" to Tina the Talking Tummy? Priceless.

It's not that I want to defend Black Knight its just that I know there are worse, more irredeemable movies. I just can't think of them at the moment.

I still can't believe Kangeroo Jack was a real movie.

i feel like i dodged a bullet of some kind as i have seen none of these and haven't heard of several of them. i always thought i had good taste and now i know i do. thank the godtopus!

I saw Black Knight when I was twelve and when he parades around calling himself Skywalker I was waiting for George Lucas's eighth chin to sue Martin Lawrence for everything he has.

Others (in my opinion)
The Transformers series: Yes Megan Fox is scrumptious eye candy, but: a) she can't act, b) Shia Lebeouf can't act, c) no one wants to see goddamn robot testicles, d) the NAACP doesn't need to feel shitty via minstrel-show robots (oh yessa mastah we gotsta protect Shia! Oh lawdy lawd).
I agree with The Village. When she walks onto the road I screamed BS at the screen.
Terror at Blood Fart Lake.
I tries to be like Plan 9 From Outer Space, in the sense that it's complete shit but because it's complete shit you'll like it ironically, but alas no.

It's Pat had one redeeming quality, and that was that the band Ween had a significant cameo.

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