kristen-stewart-robert-.jpg
The Many Faces of Robert Pattinson

A Seriously Random List / Dustin Rowles

Seriously Random Lists | November 20, 2009 | Comments (69)

Although Robert Pattinson is still fairly new to Hollywood — some know him as Cedric Diggory from the Harry Potter movies, while most know him from the Twilight series — in his few years on the big screen, the actor has already impressed us with a remarkable range for a thespian of his age. With his mussed hair and stone-cold eyes, Pattinson can deliver a variety of acting faces — the man’s exceptional versatility has already earned him three MTV Movie Awards and four Teen Choice Awards, including one for Best Hottie.

Impressive, indeed. And as a movie critic, steeped in film knowledge, I’ve had quite a bit of time to study Pattinson, to soak in his talent. And as such, I thought we’d take a look back at the many faces of Robert Pattinson, a pictorial that will demonstrate his versatility while simultaneously allow us to breath in his awesomeness. Here are my favorite Pattinson expressions:

The Bemused Face

robert-pattinson-sexy.jpg

The Angry Face

robert_pattinson-passionate.jpg

The Sad Face

01_robert_pattinsonsleepy.jpg

The Sleepy Face

robbertpatinsonbored.jpg

The Ecstatic Face

robert-pattinson-ecstatic.jpg

The Fierce Face with a Half-Beard Twist

Robert-Pattinson-i.jpg


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Comments

I think he always looks stoned. Puff, puff, pass.

Posted by: Jadine at November 20, 2009 12:06 PM

I'm more impressed by the work of his eyebrow waxer.

Posted by: Kolby at November 20, 2009 12:07 PM

Also, the messy hair look only works if your hair is shorter than six inches long, dearie. And it's supposed to get that way from the use of product, not from your own greasy stank.

Posted by: Kolby at November 20, 2009 12:09 PM

Now to be fair...Those were all either red carpet pics or magazine cover pics where their coached into giving the same face all the time.

Try using some from one of the 3 films he's made.

Posted by: wsapnin at November 20, 2009 12:13 PM

SQUEEEEE!!!
LOL I LURVZ HIMZ SO MUCH!!!!1!!!
I'm sorry, I just can't help myself. You all can throttle me if you wish.

Posted by: popejenn at November 20, 2009 12:13 PM

And I don't care what you say...he is one hot motherfucker.

Posted by: wsapnin at November 20, 2009 12:14 PM

I dont' think the combo of waxed eyebrows goes with the devil-may-care hair style. Either do the maintenance or don't but don't be half assed about it.

He's like a poor man's, not quite as good at being mussed Johnny Depp.

Posted by: Melanie at November 20, 2009 12:14 PM

I'm hoping his eyebrow waxer quits. Then he can style those brows directly into that asstastic hair don't.

P.S. popejenn I'm calling Intervention.

Posted by: admin at November 20, 2009 12:19 PM

He does nothing for me. Maybe in about 20 years?

Posted by: Cindy at November 20, 2009 12:20 PM

I don't get it, but I can see it.

Posted by: Supercomfypampertimefloatythrone at November 20, 2009 12:21 PM

It looks like his nose and lips are pulling to opposite sides of his face, it's very distracting. Also, his hair is really, really stupid. I mean, I guess I wouldn't kick him out of bed if push came to shove, but I just don't think he's that hot of a piece.

Posted by: Katers at November 20, 2009 12:21 PM

He can't turn left either.

Posted by: superasente at November 20, 2009 12:23 PM

Ummm, waxed eyebrows? Are you people fucking blind? It looks like the extra eyebrows he's smuggling for hairless children in Greece are making a run for it. I've seen less hair on a pile of hair.

Posted by: Kballs at November 20, 2009 12:23 PM

That was a Zoolander joke. BLUE STEEL BITCHES!

Posted by: superasente at November 20, 2009 12:24 PM

Ah. The first picture. Got it.

Posted by: Kballs at November 20, 2009 12:25 PM

I preferred Magnum.

Posted by: D-Day at November 20, 2009 12:25 PM

Is he badly in need of a shower? Yes. Does he need a haircut/much less product? Yes. Would I still bang him like a screen door in a hurricane? Yes.

What can I say - I have no taste. It's when I start thinking Zac[h] Efron is kinda cute that you need to take me behind a shed and shoot me. It would be a mercy killing.

Posted by: Squeeziee at November 20, 2009 12:28 PM

This article needs more chainsaw. Barring that, commentary from LindsEy.

Posted by: Lubeg at November 20, 2009 12:28 PM

Cedric, Cedric, Cedric...

Posted by: Jay at November 20, 2009 12:30 PM

I concede, that is a pretty young man. But I have to agree that the 'a flock of bats have been nesting in my hair' look is a bit much. I'm sure when he grows up he will be very groomed.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 20, 2009 12:32 PM

As I sit here patiently waiting for Pajiba to eviscerate "New Moon" (Please be Prisco, please be Prisco, I need my simile fix!) I can't help but think the only people that possibly hate THE TWILIGHT SAGA (HA!) more than we here are the stars of the series themselves. Kristen Stewart looks absolutely miserable and/or stoned at all times in interviews and Pattinson seems to enjoy shredding the flicks.

Also these 2 are the most average looking leads to anchor a blockbuster flick in possibly forever.

Posted by: TylerDFC at November 20, 2009 12:33 PM

All of those can be subtitled with "The Unwashed Look."

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 12:42 PM

IT'S THE SAME LOOK

Posted by: Christopher at November 20, 2009 12:42 PM

He is a dead fucking ringer for an ex of mine. Good Lord, that boy was KILLER in the sack...mmm...

What were we talking about?

Oh yeah. He's a good looking guy...

Posted by: Trouble at November 20, 2009 12:43 PM

Also these 2 are the most average looking leads to anchor a blockbuster flick in possibly forever.

I think that the Spider-Man leads edge them out, at least for recent blockbusters.

Posted by: branded at November 20, 2009 12:44 PM

I agree, branded. I wasn't attracted to anyone in the Spider-Man films until Bryce Dallas Howard. She was absolutely stunning in Spider-Man 3, and was the only redeeming aspect of the whole movie.

Posted by: Snath at November 20, 2009 12:45 PM

oh, dustin, you just wanted an excuse to revel in the 'gloriousity'* of his hair, didn't you?

*it's friday and I reserve the right to make up words. Plus, I couldn't think of one to quite describe the gravity defying feats his hair is performing up there. It's quite astounding, really.

Posted by: birdgal at November 20, 2009 12:52 PM

Aw, Dustin! Somebody had an awesome blossom time at the New Moon midnight premiere, didn't he? I know it's hard to hide your unabashed pride for Team Jacob, but do try and be a little unbiased with your review today.

While I must agree that Pattinson has a very lovely jawline, he looks exactly like the kind of guy that would watch you sleep at night while breathing heavily... hiding behind a bush.

P.S.: superasente, bless you for the he can't turn left joke. Let's hope he doesn't die in a tragic accidental gas fight, yes?

Posted by: Kayanne at November 20, 2009 12:55 PM

Holy shit, Bowie is a prophet.

Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed
Most applicable lyric: Don't turn your nose up/
Well, you can if you need to, you won't be the first or last

And the rest of that song is what R.Pattz sees when he's stoned out of his greasy gourd.

Posted by: stardust at November 20, 2009 12:57 PM

I sorta see how some might find him attractive. Doesn't do a thing for me.

I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for Pattinson; apparently he can't poke his nose out the front door without being mobbed. Is it possible that the stupid, stupid hair and never-washed appearance is a misguided attempt to fend off the girlfans?

Posted by: Jerce at November 20, 2009 12:58 PM

You forgot the "Potential Face" viewed in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Oh, how promising the career seemed then: a clean (very important), handsome young man with a charming smile and great screen presence. Now he needs a shower, a shave, and a haircut.

Posted by: Robert at November 20, 2009 12:59 PM

superasente - that Zoolander joke made me titter*. What I would give to see Pattinson in a walk off...

* "titter" just doesn't get used enough. I'm going to bring it back.

Posted by: Squeeziee at November 20, 2009 12:59 PM

Whoops! I seem to have a reputation for scathing to uphold. Umm lets see:

Bitch please. That greasy little vampire wanna be looks like a carbuncle on the left nut of a tranny whore.
I have seen more range of expression on a blow up doll.
The only thing that face is good for is sitting on, and even then I think that hair and whisker thing would make it too distracting to get off.

Happy now Lubeg?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 20, 2009 1:00 PM

Hahahahahaha! This whole thing cracks me up.

I'm trying to decide whether or not I would have been in lurve with this mess when I was a teenager. I'd like to think I wouldn't have been, but that jawline and bad-but-safe look probably would have reeled me in. This is why I say I would never want to relive any of my years prior to 25 again. I wasn't to be trusted.

Posted by: katy at November 20, 2009 1:05 PM

Bitch please. That greasy little vampire wanna be looks like a carbuncle on the left nut of a tranny whore.

Definitely!

I don't read Pajiba for the ARTICLES. I read it for the comments!

Posted by: Lubeg at November 20, 2009 1:06 PM

Branded: I think you have me there.

Posted by: TylerDFC at November 20, 2009 1:07 PM

Holy shite, when I saw the article title I thought you were actually serious and I wondered if Rowles had caught fan-girl rabies at the midnight (madness) show last night.

For the record, I prefer the sad face cause he looks a little like James Tupper without the bat-abode hair and man, I miss me some 'Men in Trees.' Not even unwashed RPattz can compete with the batshit-insanity of Heche in her prime.

Posted by: hersheygirl at November 20, 2009 1:11 PM

Glad to satisfy you Lubeg.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 20, 2009 1:28 PM

I think that the Spider-Man leads edge them out, at least for recent blockbusters.

At least until Spider-Man 4: The Jizzening premiers. I hear the villain is HAWT!

Posted by: SparkleTitsTheJizzbringer at November 20, 2009 1:34 PM

I never realized his nose was so crooked until just now. He's like a teen-idol Ian Laperriere.

Posted by: Peter Lynn at November 20, 2009 1:34 PM

Squeezie, I'm going to help you. I'm tittering with anticipation.

Also, I would like to recruit you in my crusade to change the word "irregardless" (y'know, that non-word basterdization of the word 'regardless') into the word "irregardlessly."

I am tittering, irregardlessly of the fact that this is retarded.

Posted by: superasente at November 20, 2009 1:35 PM

I am filled with rage at the sight of him, like a thousand red hot suns.

Posted by: Smokin at November 20, 2009 1:41 PM

With the exception of his portrayal of Cedric Diggory, I generally don't find this boy attractive. That last picture, though... is acceptable... for many things.

But seriously, can't he afford real hair product, and stop using his own Elmer's?

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 20, 2009 1:42 PM

Well, I hadn't thought this guy was hot before but this post is making a good case for him. Sure, I'd hit it. Especially the first and last pictures. I prefer the groomed brows even though I'm usually against manscaping in all its forms.

Posted by: becks at November 20, 2009 1:57 PM

Reading this blog as long as I have, I think Dustin wants to soak in a lot more than his talent.

Posted by: FourKings at November 20, 2009 2:00 PM

Would I still bang him like a screen door in a hurricane? Yes.

Dang but I love that phrase.

I'm in the "I sort of see it but it doesn't do it for me" camp. Plus, from my vantage point, he's kinda jailbait-y, and there's lots of young man-flesh I'd risk prison for before this guy.

Posted by: MM at November 20, 2009 2:01 PM

Ohhhhh he's just sooo eccentric. He's a rich vagabond. If I went around as disheveled and smelly as him I would be called bum.

Posted by: Dingle Berry at November 20, 2009 2:03 PM

He's still hot.

Posted by: Sofía at November 20, 2009 2:06 PM

I love it when women debate the fuckability of anyone. Just a goddamned beautiful sight if you ask me.

Posted by: Kballs at November 20, 2009 2:25 PM

Okay, from the front, I can sort of see it--strong jawline and cheekbones so sharp you could cut yourself--but from the side? His face is fucked up! His brow ridge is more prominent than his chin and lips and almost as prominent as his nose. In other words, the lower 2/3 of his face are severely tucked in and he's got a bigger brow ridge than Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. Poor thing is going to have trouble breathing in a few years if pugs are any indication.

Posted by: Christina at November 20, 2009 2:30 PM

Eh, I'd do him.

But it's already been proven that I have no shame.

Posted by: Kelly at November 20, 2009 3:17 PM

That guy needs to wash his damn hair.

Posted by: Steph at November 20, 2009 4:18 PM

I tried thinking about it in the context of what I liked when I was a wee tween. It started with Sean Cassidy (his hair was so feathered!), then Rick Springfield (ditto), and at 12 I moved on to Duran Duran (their hair was so stiff and colorful!). Every time I put up new pictures from Tiger Beat, my mom would just laugh at me and say something about Donovan. I kind of see where she was coming from.

Posted by: Captain Tuttle at November 20, 2009 4:18 PM

Dustin give it up already.

You wanna start a Robert Pattinson appreciation club. You want to give up your man crush for R-squared and dry hump this sexy creature. You wanna have daily posts of him on Pajiba and bask in his just-got-outta bed hair and come-fuck-me eyes.

It's alright, it'll take awhile to admit it.
I'm not complaining if you wanna give us more pics of His Gorgeousness.

Posted by: Jean at November 20, 2009 5:35 PM

Wow. He's got the expressive range of Keanu Reeves.

Posted by: Nadha at November 20, 2009 6:14 PM

I can see it. If he cut his hair and showered, he'd be a pretty guy. But as it is he just looks disgusting. Bleh.

Posted by: Gabs at November 20, 2009 6:18 PM

I loled.

Posted by: 5-15-9 at November 20, 2009 7:01 PM

and bask in his just-got-outta bed hair and come-fuck-me eyes.

Those are come fuck me eyes? I've been going about this all wrong. Puff-puff give motherfucker! You're fucking up the rotation.

Posted by: admin at November 20, 2009 7:06 PM

Not generally a fan, but damn that last picture is hot.

Of course, I also haven't had sex in about six months, so my standards are lower than usual.

Posted by: Mimi at November 20, 2009 7:42 PM

I hate all things Twilight, but I love me some Robert Pattinson. Esp. his chin. And lips.

Also, my husband looks like a better groomed RPatz if I squint just right.

Posted by: Kivrin at November 20, 2009 9:34 PM

First:

"That greasy little vampire wanna be looks like a carbuncle on the left nut of a tranny whore."

That is funny.

Second:

I laughed almost as hard as I did when you did this for Keannu. The Keannu faces made me cry I was laughing so hard.

This guy, maybe I'm old or something, but I think he's misshapen and weird.

Posted by: Kelly Booth at November 20, 2009 9:37 PM

Has anyone else noticed that he looks like Charlotte Rampling in king-drag?

http://www.charlotterampling.net/2-posing/posing-05/pages/posing_0100.htm

http://www.charlotterampling.net/2-posing/posing-02/pages/posing_0030.htm

(The boobies are incidental.)

Posted by: Tarn at November 21, 2009 9:09 AM

Dude's just waiting for his chance to play this guy in The Cure biopic:

rebeljukebox.com/live/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/robert_smith.jpg

Posted by: , (just , cause I'm tired of typing that other shit) at November 21, 2009 10:39 AM

But who has more breadth as an actor, sparkle-boy or Neo? Hard call. I think they both show the full range, from a to a.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at November 21, 2009 9:51 PM

Oh, dude is one Mary and a Falafel Gut away from being Robert Smith.

Does anyone know where I can get a wristband for the possible chance to get advance tickets for The Jizzening?

Posted by: Stacy D at November 21, 2009 10:16 PM

All of these pictures are from premiers, photo calls and magazine spreads.

Did you want him to act out Les Miserables on the red carpet?

If you want to see some of his other work, look at Bad Mother's Handbook, How to Be, Little Ashes...

Posted by: zaam at November 21, 2009 11:39 PM

Every picture of Robert Pattinson boils down to two possibilities: smug or stoned? In this case, smug, stoned, smug, stoned, both, smug.

Posted by: meg at November 22, 2009 7:00 PM

The second picture gave me the LOLs. Is he for real?
Also:
"This guy, maybe I'm old or something, but I think he's misshapen and weird."
Yes!

Posted by: bat at November 23, 2009 8:54 AM

Mostly all actors are misshapen and weird but I'm pretty sure it takes real talent to remember lines and real guts to be able to perform in front of million of people. Why do people have to be so judgmental oh wait its probably because they are jealous. hmmmmmm the human race is ridiculous and crude. wow isn't that sad.

Posted by: crystal at November 24, 2009 10:25 AM





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