Pajiba

first

Now it's the same ad but it says "Afro Romance" instead of "Interracial Dating." It must be nice to be an ad-man and get paid to come up with this shit.

LANDO should be #1

you jive-ass SUCKAS.

Lando was everything, there would've been no Bespin Boba-Vader set-up without Lando.

asshole

For all the movies he's been in as the token black guy, I can't think of a single death scene from Morgan Freeman! Granted I never saw Bucket List, but has he ever died in one of his movies?

The Sum Of All Fears. And if I'd been in it, I would have died too.

I'd also include Yaphet Kotto's role in The Running Man. Even in the future, a black man can't catch a break.

I might also nominate Mr. Kotto for the title of Blackest Token Black Guy.

I tried to explain the token black guy film paradigm to a 12 year old the other day. It was refreshing to find out that he thought the fact I was saying this was "awful and racist." I realized that he was born into the Will Smith Independence Day MIB world which has grown up (with him) into the I am Legend Hancock world. And whoa, Beyoncee might play Wonder Woman? While she is not my favorite person, that is sayin somethin...
At least now I can show him this post and he can see that I was not talking craziness.

Sean:
"Would Carl Weathers as Apollo Creed count?"

No, Sean, he would not. However, Carl Weathers in Predator, definitely. It's a very nuanced category.

Query: Are Will Smith and perhaps Don Cheadle the only non-token black guys around? That would be a harder list:
Black actors who never die.

And finally, Sam Jackson should really be doubly credited for Jurrasic Park and Deep Blue Sea. Getting eaten by a genius, Mako shark is truly, truly token. Hell, L.L. Cool J survived that movie. He wasn't black enough to die?

Actually, Lando was supposed to die - hence the foreshadowing in Jedi of when Han is all "I just have this feeling like I'm not gonna see her again". The Millenium Falcon wasn't supposed to escape the fireball of the destroyed new Death Star.

But the audiences didn't like it.

And then the Ewoks danced.

Hollywood Montrose should really be on this list. Sure, he doesn't die, but he's both the token black and the token flaming homosexual. He's also my favorite person ever, real or imaginary.

And ...Lando totally destroyed Death Star 2.0, he was the fucking original owner of the Millennium Falcon, you are a sad, sad little man Rowles, just..JUST.. give it up...

*cue me something mmmm... heavily dramatic Phil*

PAJIBANS...HEAR ME...recents attempts on my life have left me scarred, and deformed (with an abnormally large penis from its original 13 inch size)...but I assure you, my resolve has never been stronger.
We stand on the threshold of a new beginning.

In order to ensure security and continuing stability, the PAJIBA will be reorganized into the first PAJIBASLIM Empire.... for a safe and secure movie site.

IMPLEMENT ORDER 69: KILL PRISCO! and TK (slowly) and... ROWLES

find Vermillion too...bring him, to me.

Why am I not getting the interracial dating site? :( Julie needs lovin too.

My addition to this list would be Andre Braugher in The Mist.

Oh, they have to die. I missed that. Ice Cube in Anaconda.. (or was it Ice T?)

It was Icey Hot.

Chi McBride as Cyrus in The Frighteners! Come oooooooon.

"You get to dress nice. Here I am still looking like Linc from The Mod Squad."

Ha! I should have clarified that I haven't seen Wanted either, Alexandra. Spoiler noted. I'll still watch it when it comes out on DVD.

*Cues up Duel of the Fates*

Hold on to your butts

Does Freeman die in "Nurse Betty," or is Chris Rock the only one?
Or am I completely confused?

Ann, Yes, Morgan died in Nurse Betty. You don't see it, but you know he got capped.

Didn't the black guy die in both The Longest Yard and Happy Gilmore? Not that I watch Adam Sandler movies...except when smoking weed in college. So I'm not even sure there were black guys in those movies.

Would the adorable Dule Hill in She's All That count? Technically, that's who Deon Richmond was spoofing in Teen Movie.

Duane Martin in Scream 2.

They actually test-screened the ending with the Millennium Falcon not emerging from the exploding Death Star, and the audience reaction covinced them to go with the happier ending...."
---------------------------------------------------

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEESSSSS!

I recognized your foul stench when you were brought on board...you don't know how delightful I'm finding it to sign the order to kill you...

You've betrayed me..Fre..err DarthCorleone...NEVER go against the famil...

BarbadoSlim>> I don't know what to tell you. Lando will always be the coolest dude in the galaxy to me. Well...second coolest. Whenever I'm granted an unexpected responsibility that shows some degree of faith in me, I always say that someone must have heard about my little maneuver at the Battle Of Taanab.

Perhaps I can placate you with some Vegas hookers? I promise I'll always put you before Moe Greene.

THE FOURTH GHOSTBUSTER

ernie hudson

case closed

Wait... Phil's a bartender now too?

Posted by: s. pisaster at November 13, 2008 5:51 PM

Could we KEEP in mind that this is a movie site!

Have you even watched The Godfather? Have you even tried?

See, Rowles? Do you see? Resign dude, resign and fire Pissco.

*shakes head*

Access to Vegas hookers or not, I'd much rather be Santino than Fredo, though. Hell, it'd be cooler to be Connie than Fredo. She at least goes all Lady Macbeth in Part III.

Bubba's last name isn't Gump - unless I missed the gay marriage scene. I mean, I know that movie was a little overly sentimental, but a mentally retarded man marrying both a black man AND a woman with AIDS would just be too much schmaltz for my weak heart.

Also, I'd add Scatman Crothers in The Shining to this list. It's not only a pretty stereotyped portrayal of a black man: "Nothin'. There ain't nothin' in Room 237. But you ain't got no business goin' in there anyway. So stay out. You understand? Stay out." Enough slang fo' ya? But he also takes an axe in the chest, wielded by none other than Jack "Crazy Eyes" Nicholson. That should count for something!

BSlim I just thought of something, you and I should join forces not in a homo sort of way, but join forces so we can take over pajiba. In the words of Tony Montana, "Pajiba is like a big pussy waiting to be fucked." Your recent post have lead me to the conclusion that you are just as fucked up mentally as I am. I think we are kindred spirits. On a side note I think you should kinda shy away from mentioning implementing order 69 on another guy.

Thank you MissNev, now I don't have to say anything.

That won't stop me, though.

you and I should join forces not in a homo sort of way, but join forces so we can take over pajiba. In the words of Tony Montana, "Pajiba is like a big pussy waiting to be fucked."

------------------------------------------------

..HEY! TOLD YOU! don't talk to me directly.
And never on the phone, you unerstand' me?

Howevah....instead of pussy, a big, tight, ass with a 45 gallon drum of KY lubricatin' my piston...yeah ...I can see dat...

Crap. Celery beat me to Ernie Hudson. They don't get more tokener, even if he doesn't die.

I agree: GAME OVER.

Token black guy? P. Diddy Papa Pussey Poop in Made. Why was he even there. As a matter of fact, P. Dickwad in any movie, television show or video he's ever been in. Actually P. Dookie is lifes token black guy. We're all just waiting for the enevitable.

"Bubba's last name isn't Gump - unless I missed the gay marriage scene. I mean, I know that movie was a little overly sentimental, but a mentally retarded man marrying both a black man AND a woman with AIDS would just be too much schmaltz for my weak heart."

Ariel, I cried I laughed so hard when I read that.

* WU TANG*

* WU TANG*

Are Will Smith and perhaps Don Cheadle the only non-token black guys around? That would be a harder list:
Black actors who never die.

Wait a minute, didn't Don Cheadle's character in "Devil in a Blue Dress" get killed, or am I misremembering? Cheadle absolutely STOLE that move from Denzel Washington, by the way.

Awesome, let's marginalize more black people for taking part in what are called "solid supporting roles" when all the actors are white. I'm not saying there isn't tokenism, but calling every black guy that isn't a protagonist or antagonist a token black guy? That's fucking stupid. Alien? Seriously? The movie where every man dies? It's not like these guys are pimps or drug dealers.

America loves white people. There's a reason Season 2 of The Wire was the highest rated and Pajiba's pick for best season.

Lando was awesome in Empire, but Jedi, in its franchise-ruining way, cheapened Lando into the black wingman that he's known as.

another dull list offering but while you are chewing on the election of sen. obama and contemplate the possibility of it transforming the "perception of black men", how about this? how about the election actually transforms the black men who have no problem with an illegitimacy rate that mocks the concept of family. how about jesse jackson and al sharpton laying off bill cosby. how about putting an end to " value the differences " and and starting "value the similarities." your view of what constitutes racism is so shallow that you should either address the subject in a more thoughtful manner or stick to the movies where you make some sense.

"how about the election actually transforms the black men who have no problem with an illegitimacy rate that mocks the concept of family."

Mr. Plissken, apparently you've not traveled outside of your cocoon lately if you think that black men are somehow the root cause of the downfall of the American family. It's simple to blame Al and Jesse, at best they are carnival barkers. For the first time in my adult life I'm proud of white America, she has begun to shake off her robes of racism, ignorance, hate and narcissism.

Cleavon Little in Blazing Saddles!
MissNev

Wait, what? Token? Wasn't he the hero? He was the smartest character in the movie and he got the girl. Well, Teutonic Twat, but still, he hit that hard!
Damn, I love Blazing Saddles....

What about Ben from Night of the Living Dead? Or does that fall into the 'black jesus' category?

Adding to the Morgan Freeman death filmography, he buys it in Lucky Number Slevin, too, though I do believe it was off-screen.

Snake,

Adding my rum to the punch...96 percent of african americans voted for Barack because we feel that he will look after the interests of every citizen for once. We didn't vote for him because John McCain is a pilgrim. We voted for Barack because John McCain is a motherfuckng maniac that is to old and senile to make adequate decisions. Such as selecting a running mate that hasn't sucked as many dicks as she's read news magazines.

I don't know if pookie lives in the ghetto...but I do. I grew up here, lost friends here and have seen people of all races struggle to put food on their tables and lead the youth to a life outside of crime and drugs. I stay here to help...to be a visible example of what a college education and hard work can get you. Barack has brought a unity to my community I haven't seen since Magic was winning championships in the 80's.

Also, black men are not the root cause of the downfall of the black family. That would be to simple a reason. In fact, the black family is rising in the eyes of the community. With the decrease in negative music and film, black youth are becoming encouraged to be better men. The gangsta rap era of the early 90's is no more. Instead we are seeing young african american men wishing to be well dressed pop-like personalities, modeling themselves after men like Kanye West and Chris Brown. Much better than the snoops and eazy e's.

I think he was the same dude in Rocky to boot..I will stop now! I promise...

Barack O'bama

1 of 44

Mr. Plissken see if you can wrap that big brain of yours around this, maybe just maybe the 96% of the blacks that voted for Obama voted for him because they thought he was the better candidate. I could have just as easily said that 100% of the whites that voted for McCain voted for McCaim because he was white. See Plissken I don't think that whites that voted for McCain are racist, I believe they voted for McCain because they thought he would make a better President than Obama. How sad is it that a man of your obvious intelligence would go down that lonely road of blaming the cause of your troubles on racism.

gamal ..... i have no argument with you . you are fighting the war and if obama's election will induce more college educated blacks to remain in the inner cities and present positive role models to the kids, it will his most important contribution. i have no problem with his presidency , just with oversimplifying its meaning in terms of the racial conflicts we continue to confront. healing the divide requires hard work ( as you obviously know ) not cliches.

Ernie Hudson in Ghostbusters. Celery got it right.

LL COOL J in Anaconda 333--
O.J. in Police Squad--
-Sammy Davis in the Rat Pack or Ocean's 11