The Five Most Unexpected Killer Animal Movies
A Seriously Random List LXI / Dustin Rowles
Seriously Random Lists | March 2, 2009 | Comments (50)
5. Frogs (Frogs)
4. Whales (Orca the Killer Whale)
3. Earthworms (Squirm)
2. Bunnies (Night of the Lepus)
1. Sheep (Black Sheep)
Posted by: Kolby at March 2, 2009 4:39 PM
re: Bunnies.
BAAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Posted by: Dingles at March 2, 2009 4:53 PM
Orca was one of my childhood favorites. Right up there with Jaws.
Posted by: Rykker at March 2, 2009 4:56 PM
that's funny because i thought i had seen a trailer for black sheep but then thought it was a dream because no one would do something THAT ridiculous. nope, it's real. thanks for making my dreams come true, weinstein company.
Posted by: carly Rowe at March 2, 2009 4:57 PM
Anybody who thinks earthworms don't kill for fun and gather underground to hatch evil plans to enslave the human race is just plain naive.
Posted by: tt_marie at March 2, 2009 4:58 PM
Frankly, I'm surprised Black Sheep beat out Night of the Lepus.
Those giant bunnies hopping through town are just too cute to be scary, but when all those sheep come spill over that hill, I kind of get the shivers. And not the good "oh this ice cream is cold" shivers.
Posted by: Macafee at March 2, 2009 4:58 PM
What is so weird about an Orca being a killer animal?
Because, they actually are, have you not seen The Trials Of Life*, Dustin? Orcas regularly go and hunt and eat cute seals, and even attack divers cause they look so much like seals in their body suits.
(Even cute bottle nose dolphins can be vicious bastards; they murder porpoise on purpose-no joke!)
On the other hand, if you think it's weird because the acting/script/ SFX are so crappy,forget it.
*I think it's that one, but it's certainly in the Life on Earth series
Posted by: cockroach at March 2, 2009 5:04 PM
I somehow got the trailers for Hot Fuzz and Black Sheep all combined in my mind--they must have come out around the same time I guess?--and so when I went to see Hot Fuzz I was waiting for the killer sheep to jump out once he got into the country. I realized my mistake partway through though so I was still able to enjoy it, sans killer sheep.
Posted by: Cara at March 2, 2009 5:05 PM
Night of the Lepus is the best movie EVAR!!!! Terrified the shit out of me when I was a youngster.
Provided me with howls of laughter as a teenager.
As a single person, it represented the gold standard for testing if a person really knows his/her 70s horror movie shit. If you hadn't heard of Night of the Lepus, you were not going home with me.
Ah memories!
Posted by: PaddyDog at March 2, 2009 5:08 PM
I was living in Auckland when "Black Sheep" was being filmed and can say that the Kiwis have a wonderful, self-deprecating sense of humor. The movie was very well received and much loved.
Posted by: Spender at March 2, 2009 5:08 PM
Might I direct you to the flying Piranha in Piranha 2: The Spawning, directed by one Mr. James Cameron?
Posted by: TK at March 2, 2009 5:09 PM
I honestly think I'm more frightened of the woman who gets attacked by the bunnies. She reminds me of a lady whose lawn I used to mow. When I'd head up to the front to get paid, I'd hear at least six locks being turned prior to opening. There were always skeevy looking guys coming and going throughout the day, and almost every time she'd open the door to pay me, her right arm would be greased up all the way to the elbow.
She didn't talk much, but her eyes... Jesus, her eyes would empty your bladder and make your body temperature drop...
Posted by: Skitz at March 2, 2009 5:12 PM
Having watched the trailer, yes it is ludicrous, an Orca tracking down humans to attack them where they live, but I still think it's not quite as stupid as a shark doing the same.
So, I say replace Orca with whichever Jaw sequel had that as its plot.
Posted by: cockroach at March 2, 2009 5:16 PM
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Posted by: Oliver at March 2, 2009 5:31 PM
Add 'Slugs' and 'The Nest' to the list. Mutant slugs and cockroaches. good stuff.
Posted by: Some Guy at March 2, 2009 5:32 PM
I fucking loved Black Sheep. I was watching it alone at night and laughing my ass off while also cringing in disgust at some of it. Then it gets to a quiet part of the movie and I hear a sheep baa and for a split second think it came from the front yard. Yes, I thought the sheepocalypse had begun at the exact moment I was watching a movie about it. I can be extremely stupid when alone at night.
Posted by: Dangle McGee at March 2, 2009 5:36 PM
Was there a movie called "Paws"? And it was a Jaws spoof with bunnies? I have a vague memory of seeing it on a holiday at a family gathering. Godzilla may have also factored in but it's possible it's one of those weird holiday dreams I get.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 2, 2009 5:43 PM
The earthworm clip was disgusting, but I have now made it my duty to track down Night of the Lepus.
Posted by: Sabrina at March 2, 2009 5:45 PM
Spambot english gives me the happies.
Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at March 2, 2009 5:49 PM
I have a softspot for the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "It has big pointy teeth, but would you listen to me. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Posted by: BWeaves at March 2, 2009 5:49 PM
No one asked, but I nominate Cara for a top 10 comment of the week.
Posted by: anikitty at March 2, 2009 5:51 PM
Why isn't Hitchcock's The Birds on this list? Sure the crows are a tad threatening, but seaguls? You step outside swinging with a baseball bat in hand and the birds are dropping (or else toss up some alka-seltzer and watch them drop as their stomachs explode). If I can't outsmart some birds, then I deserve what I get.
Posted by: B-Unit at March 2, 2009 5:51 PM
is it just me or does the young Sam Elliot look a lot like Christian Bale?
Posted by: Dr. Emilio Lizardo at March 2, 2009 5:57 PM
Truth in advertising returns to Pajiba! Some of your lists of late have been on the picayune side, Rowles, but this is seriously random.
And Night of the Lepus rocks. I had to look it up on imdb because I thought it was a made-for-TV movie (it's not) -- my only exposure to it was on the boob tube growing up...
Posted by: Che Grovera at March 2, 2009 6:13 PM
I love animals, but I think they all can have their creepy side. I knew someone who was afraid of bunnies. That's not a joke; that's a for real fact. My brother was dating her and gave her the Bunny Suicide book for Christmas or something, naturally, she loved it.
My true animal horror tale comes from time long ago when I worked in a pet store. It was a national chain pet store and I was designated to small pet care division and I was so excited. I didn't mind the feedings or the cleanings or the crazy squawking times some of the bird would go through, that's just an animals way. I didn't even mind taking care of the sick animals, I even grew close to a runt of a guinea pig I was taking care of. But with all of the birds, reptiles, fish, hermit crabs and small animals we had (including the live crickets we sold as feeders), the freakiest of them all were the motherfucking hamsters.
Y'all, rats made people cringe, people shuddered at the lizards. But the pet that everyone wanted for their kids was the meanest: those goddamn Teddy Bear Hamsters.
True story: after I had been bitten no less than three times by the hamsters (keep in mind, I didn't touch them, I was merely putting food in there bowl) I figured I'd be pretty much ok to tango with a hamster from then on. Oh what a naive girl of almost 17 I was. For those of you who haven't seen a hamsters teeth, they are long and very sharp, the reason hamsters are supposed to have chew toys is because their teeth will keep growing unless they chew them down. Anyway, so me and a coworker were putting some new hamsters and birds and such in the small pet house after their standard waiting period and my coworker goes, "Shit, I am not touching that one, he looks pissed." Figuring I could handle another hamster bite (the last two had drawn blood!) I finished my task and said, "No worries, I got this." Keep in mind that I did find it strange that a guy about 7 years older than me and 50 pounds heavier than me who raised snakes for a hobby was suddenly unnerved by a hammy.
Then I looked in the container where, all alone, the hamster was standing up on his hind legs, front paws drawn up to his chest, mouth agape and fangs bared, hissing at me and swaying back and forth like a fucking cobra. Nobody touched that fucking hamster after he started to gnaw in the air when my hand got within six inches of him.
That fucking hamster wanted blood.
Also moms buying their kids hamsters, a word to the wise, male hamsters have giant testicles. They are not tumors, no, I do not need to check to make sure. When they're not relaxed they can draw them up, but when their just chillin, their balls are comically huge. You have been warned.
Posted by: Kayanne at March 2, 2009 6:14 PM
Can you have a list of killer animals without listing the rabbit from Holy Grail? I'm not sure that you can.
Posted by: Jeni at March 2, 2009 6:20 PM
How about "ANTS" I believe it starred Suzanne Sommers
Posted by: Finn at March 2, 2009 6:23 PM
Yep, I checked. "Ants" aka "It Happened at Lakewood Manor" was a TV movie released in 1977. The ants "theme" was particularly frightening.
Posted by: Finn at March 2, 2009 6:30 PM
I actually ran across Black Sheep a month back... and I learned three things:
1. Sheep can't drive when put behind the wheel of a truck, but they sure as hell will try.
2. PETA girls are hot, reckless, and
into anything new age.
3. Even the itch of wool can't stop a man from sticking his peepers into a "baah"-ing bajingo.
Posted by: Beauregard at March 2, 2009 6:36 PM
I love the shot of the BUTTERFLY in the Frogs trailer. Oh man, they are definitely just as terrifying as snakes and taratulas. Really? I could even understand being afraid of frogs. God did smite his people with them afterall. But butterflies?!
Posted by: SJ at March 2, 2009 6:56 PM
My favorite part of the Black Sheep trailer is the part about how WETA workshop did the effects. Orcs, centaurs, nazgul, and killer sheep. Obviously.
Posted by: genny (also Rusty) at March 2, 2009 7:07 PM
Re: "Night of Lepus," I think Anya from BTVS said it best about bunnies:
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes
They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses
And what's with all the carrots
What do they need such good eyesite for anyway
Bunnies, bunnies
It must be bunnies
Posted by: The Pink Hulk at March 2, 2009 7:32 PM
What about Food of the Gods? Giant killer chicken!
I remember watching it on TV at my grandmom's as a kid and being scared shitless. Particularly of going down to the root cellar.
A friend recently spent a week out at the Best Friends animal shelter, and she commented on how aggressive and violent the rabbits were. I said, "Hello? Watership Down?"
Posted by: Alabamapink at March 2, 2009 7:46 PM
Firstly: Look how delicious young Sam Elliot is in Frogs! Mmm mm. I think maybe my parents watched this when I was young, they loved all those movies.
Second: Squirm freaked me out so bad with the shower head scene that I had to take baths for a month. And carefully watch the overflow drain.
Third: Black Sheep cracked my shit up, yo.
Last: I don't know, SJ, that butterfly looked pretty evil. I think it was just that he was twirling his mustache and doing the laugh, though. Good actor, that one.
Awesomest, Randomest list yet, DR! *heart*
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at March 2, 2009 7:47 PM
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Posted by: blkbabe at March 2, 2009 7:50 PM
There's also this movie where ANTS apparently attack the entire population of some shit-kickin town.
Ants.
Because apparently the residents were too lazy to fucking outrun them.
...Earthworms? NO WAY.
Posted by: figgy at March 2, 2009 7:58 PM
I loved Black Sheep so much. I also watched it alone one night in my house and just laughed my ass off the entire time. Alas, I didn't have delusions of the sheepocalypse starting in my front yard. But my cat hissed several times at the tv. That creeped me out a little.
Posted by: Sharon at March 2, 2009 8:01 PM
cockroach>> For the record, there has never been a documented case of an orca fatally attacking a human being.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 2, 2009 9:21 PM
Good list, but The Killer Shrews deserves mention. It's just as laughable as Night Of The Lepus in its effects...
Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 2, 2009 9:24 PM
One time a giraffe licked me.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 2, 2009 9:33 PM
Anyone ever seen Ticks? It featured giant ticks terrorizg people. It had Seth Green and Carlton himself, Alphonso Ribiero. It's golden in it awfulness.
Posted by: wugirl at March 2, 2009 9:47 PM
i had orca on VHS when i was a child. that movie used to scare the crap out of me all, so, of course, my sisters watched it all the time.
Posted by: courtney 1 at March 2, 2009 10:27 PM
While the plot was crack addled and ridiculous, how can an animal with "killer" in its name be considered a weird or unexpected killer animal?
How about the birds from "The Birds"
Posted by: LwoodPDowd at March 2, 2009 11:34 PM
SHEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Rubble44 at March 3, 2009 12:54 AM
If only Black Sheep was anywhere near as funny as it looks.
Posted by: Grafty at March 3, 2009 6:07 AM
Netflix has Night of the Lepus.
Posted by: Rykker at March 3, 2009 9:33 AM
I freakin' love Black Sheep. It's sooo terrible. My tatooist and I were joking about it after it came out, trying to decide what could be more innocuous than sheep. It was a fun little game.
Posted by: Nadha at March 3, 2009 6:31 PM
I loved Black Sheep. It was intensely violent and hilariously deadpan. I think it's worth a Pajiba review, actually.
I remember seeing Orca on tv as a kid, and there's this part at the beginning where the protagonist strings the female orca up on his boat and she miscarries on the freaking boat and it shows it and there's this hideous "whale scream" sound effect on the soundtrack... Yep. Scarred for life.
Posted by: Craig at March 4, 2009 3:05 PM
It has been reviewed Craig, www.pajiba.com/black-sheep.htm
Never watch the episodes on oceans of Planet Earth if you like killer whales. Those are some sick twisted animal bastards, I must say.
Posted by: Racahel at March 5, 2009 9:59 AM
I get the bunnies, but why not throw a nod in there for the Killer Rabbit of the Monty Python variety?
Posted by: k.la at March 23, 2009 3:56 PM
I can't see the clips, but I'm curious how a sheep could kill someone - death by lanolin allergy?