Pajiba

I think Tom Hanks' hair is fixed in Angels & Demons, thankfully. Doesn't mean I'm going to see it, but at least it's something.

Speaking of new goths and vampires, South Park last night was pretty hilarious. I love those South Park goth kids.

How can you be a vegetarian vampire? Doesn't drinking blood, even animal blood, not make you a vegetarian?

Also, vampires can't walk in daylight or have sex. Thems the rules. Just had to get that out of my system.

I had a friend who loved Sweet Valley High when we were kids. She was also the one who always made her Barbie marry Ken. What little girl wants her Barbie to marry Ken? Mine would always sarcastically rebuff all of his advances until she eventually gave in and danced with him to Vanessa Williams' "Save The Best For Last" at the prom.

"(these women, unfortunately, were more myth than reality. But, I loved the idea of them)"

Not true, Dustin. When I was in middle school, we were required to go out for recess. I used to find places indoors to hide so I could read and not have to interact with other human beings. This habit did not end when high school began, I promise you.

Also, there is almost not a single thing on this list I can argue with. I agree with the content, I agree with the rankings. The only thing you are missing is Nicholas Sparks. I think everyone around these here parts know how I feel about that walking, talking, writing buttfuck nugget. Godtopus damn him, I hate him. I hate him so much.

I love the Harry Potter series as well, but yes I do agree...the level of mania is a bit much. I enjoy them for literary merit, not because of a secret desire to be Harry Potter, if only to fulfill my ginger crush on Ginny Weasley and wield a kick assed wand.

The furthest I've gotten in my "obsession" is I want to reread the books, I've seen/have all the movies, and I have two Gryffindor scarves. (Pre and post Azkaban) And let's face it, nothing ruins a midnight rush to buy the goddamn books like some girl decked out in her Luna Lovegood attire because "it speaks to who she is".

Finally, might I submit the literary pap of Gregory Maguire (Wicked, et. al) as an annoying literary fad? Yeah, I get it, The Wicked Witch was misunderstood and she actually has a name. I'm still not reading your goddamn pussification of an actual classic. You are the Smallville of literature. GOOD DAY, SIR.

I'd add the works of Mitch Albom to this list-trite schmaltzy manipulative bullshit.

I refuse to discuss Twilight. My self-loathing is such that I'm about to become a cutter.

Let me guess... you watched South Park last night, right?

Dude, we're close to the same age, and SVH was all the rage when I was in school. Of course, that may have to do with the state of funding of our school library.... Yeah, I read a bunch of them. Pretty trashy indeed.

Here's a sign of the times--in every single one of the books I read, the author went on about the twins' long blond hair, blue-green eyes, and "perfect size-six figures." I flipped through one recently in a bookstore (out of sheer curiousity), and it seems they're now whittled down to "perfect size-four figures." Good grief.

Amen to the DaVinci Code. Honestly, after hearing my friends' reviews, I was expecting a serious hard-core literary work, but it read like a cheap-ass throwaway novel. Don't know if I was more disappointed in the book or my friends.

Whoa there, "Wicked" is actually one of my favorite book. It adds a whole new layer of world to already well-explored world of OZ and that's a feat. The original OZ books, all 32 or so of them combined don't even have 1/5th of substance Wicked has.

That being said, the other Gregory Maguire books tends to be weak, yes. However, I would choose his books over most other because they are well-researched and often offer a pretty interesting point of views to oft-told tales.

LALALALALA I can't hear you! [sob]

Awesome.

I have never any of these books in any of these series. Well, I read about the first 50 or so pages of both the first and last Harry Potter books, but that's about it. That's not enough to count.

I never minded Bridget Jones so much, until I found out I was supposed to relate to her. She's a COMEDIC CHARACTER people, not something to strive for. Elizabeth Bennett would have eaten her for dinner.

I am the only human in existence that has not read the Harry Potter series, and it is a lonely existence wrought with constant verbal abuse from his most extreme fanboys/fangals.

Aw, Jay.

Mine was more of a "My family is being torn apart by an unexpected divorce and HEY that book is supposed to be fun escapism escapism WHEE!!" experience.

I may have to go home now and reread book three.

I totally agreed with the Twilight reviews around here. My roommate really likes the books (kind of legitimately, even though she admits they're terribly written) and I was curious, so I read the first one and there's something really weird about them. Because you know they're terrible books, but you can't stop reading them.

Oh, and I'm going to the midnight showing tonight. IT WAS MY ROOMMATE'S DOING, I SWEAR. Ugh... I just lost all my credibility, didn't I? ::sigh::

Because....I'll go ahead and start myself...if you're still young, or kinda young, there's probably going to be a few moments of "FUCK! Dad used to save me here".

Bono said "I'm in you. Moreso when they put me in the ground". And then you do save yourself.

Even in the shortened form of the movie, if you know what she's talking about it's massive.

What little girl wants her Barbie to marry Ken? Mine would always sarcastically rebuff all of his advances until she eventually gave in and danced with him to Vanessa Williams' "Save The Best For Last" at the prom.

becks, my Ken usually dumped Barbie for Skipper. And then Barbie would wear something really hot to the prom in order to win him back. Or something like that. Skipper was a total slut, though.

I was disturbed as a child.

Heehee, kalafraja, Babysitters Club was the other series of my childhood. Ahh, memories! I was more of a Mary Anne fan (had to look up the names).

Agent Provocatrice, you are not alone. I've seen all the Harry Potter movies so far, but haven't touched the books, even though my husband has them all and has recommended them highly.

Very nice lizzie. You could've played Barbies with me anyday.

Kalafraja, I loved the Babysitter's Club series with every fiber of my being. Mary Ann was always my favorite, because she was quiet and shy and I used to be both...with a big emphasis on used to be.

I read so much as a kid...Sweet Valley High, V.C. Andrews, Anne of Green Gables, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume, The Sideways Stories from Wayside School series, R.L. Stine, etc etc. I don't know how I had the time to read all that and also run my fake restaurant in my backyard. Heh.

What about goosebumps? My mom wouldn't allow them in the house so I would secretly check them out from the school library, read them under the covers, get scared shitless, and force my brother to go with me if I needed something from the basement. I am still scared of ventrilquist dummies (unless it's the jalapeño-on-a-stick guy), thanks R.L. Stine.

Oh dear lord, Julie, I hadn't thought of VC Andrews in years. I read every single one of those things, and I cannot believe that my mother let me.

I'm still haunted by some of the incestuous creepiness that went down in those things.

I have also read the Little House on the Prairie and Anne of Green Gables books at least 100 times each.

Hahaha kalafraja we ALL wanted to be Claudia. Every time she made an appearance there was an extended ode to what she was wearing, down to the last accessory, and it was always super trendy. I remember in one book she wore a sweatshirt upside down as pants and belted the top, and it was rhapsodized about, and I tried it and ended up looking like an oompa loompa. Kids are gullible.

Can someone please review Flowers in the Attic for Cannonball Read? That's some high quality literature.

HA! I took out the third book in that series yesterday with the sole purpose of reviewing it.

Because the Twilight series obviously wasn't enough to send me into a shame spiral, I have to read THAT crap.

Julie, what's the third one called? I'm sure I've read it...I just can't remember whether chick is still bangin' her bro at that point, or if their incest-baby is reading Lady Chatterly's Lover down in the boathouse or whatever while bangin' the pool boy who happens to be her uncle.

I don't know why my Barbies were so screwed up, but I had tons of fun with their little soap operas. I think Ken liked Skippers little boobies, too. I guess he liked a handful or something.

Good god.

Anyway. Jules, I read all those serieses too. Did anyone else read Christopher Pike? My mom tried to get me to stop reading them for a while because they scared the shit outta me. And it worked, for, like, two months.

I think I still have my old Babysitters and SVH/SVT somewhere in a box in storage. I think Stacey was my favorite. Which is kinda apropos as I am now a diabetic myself. *shrug*

Did anyone else read the Lurlene McDaniels books? The poor girls dying of heinous diseases who find luuuurve at the very last moment and then die happy (and virginal, of course)? Man, those books made me such a hypochondriac.

lizzieborden, it's okay. If BSC taught you anything, it should be that diabetes won't ruin your life.

It may be that your parents well get up in your shit when you want to go-a-babysittin' on a cruise with a random pile of Pike kids, but that's manageable.

Ha!

My Kens all got their left legs ripped off as soon as they came out of the box (my father's an amputee). Then Skipper, Gem, Barbie, and the GI Joe's would all gang up on Ken (my father used to be a right asshole, now, we're cool).

and Harry Potter sux. And no, I didn't read them. But I didn't have to. Let me guess:

1: oh, I am so lonely
2: oh, I am abandoned, but somehow managed to get into fancy private school.
3: oh, I am not so lonely anymore, now that I have other lame-ass friends
4: oh, magic, magic, magic.
5: oh, the end.'

what the fuck ever. Harry can kiss my ass and stick his wand up his. SVH is an improvement over that detritus.

ugh

Julie, I read ALL of the books you just mentioned when I was young! I was a Mary Ann fan, too.

I didn't run a back-yard restaurant, though. I was too busy trying to get all the neighborhood kids to act in the plays that I wrote, directed, and starred in.

I actually just reread Anne of Green Gables last week, and it holds up so well. I'm not gonna lie - I cried when Matthew died. Again.

*Eee* lizzie, I loved Lurlene McDaniels! Oh, the drama....the beautiful, beautiful drama....

Estelle, you break-a my heart.

Kalafraja, it's called If There Be Thorns.
:cackles, sobs: It's going to kill me.

Color me surprised when I read the Sleeping Beauty Chronicles a few years later...

Bondage and spankings and banging oh my.

Stop being such a bunch of cunty snobs. I thought the DaVinci Code was a readable bit of pap, and it fucks me off when people put down others just because they dare to enjoy a book that's not considered literafuckingture. Get your heads out of your stinking rectal passages and just be happy that people are reading. Fucktoids.

HA! I have all of you beat when it comes to reading embarrassing book series:

ANIMORPHS That's right, bitches. Motherfuckin' Animorphs

I have no idea why they were so popular in my school. I have no idea why I thought they were so cool. But, I think I was also into that show Alex Mac soooo maybe I wanted to be a shape shifter.

What's weird is that I read tons of books as a kid. I read books walking to and from class. My third grade teacher's husband made fun of me for reading books while walking (something about tripping on my face). I think I called him out on wearing weird socks. I was a sassy 3rd grader. But I read some classy books like Little Women. I aced so many of those accelerated reader quizzes that got you gift certificates to the reading fair. That's right bitches, I owned the book fair.

Also, I have not read the Harry Potter books because of the weird cultish following around it. I thought at, first, it was cool that it might get kids to read other books, but sadly I realized most of the fans flat-out refused to read anything else.

I had quite a few Barbies, but only played with them when my friends wanted me to. But I always played with my Belle Barbie (yes, from Beauty & The Beast) and she was always casually aloof... But one friend would always make the guy go for Barbie because (according to her) boys only liked blondes.

This, subsequently, made my Belle become more of a Charlie's Angels-type of lady, always looking for burglars and some such.

The Babysitters Club could also be considered an old fad, when you think about how it led to a tv series and a movie, both just as awful as you'd think.

I loved SVH. Especially the crazy prom storyline where Jessica's bf Sam dies and that psycho tries to kill a twin and take over her life... yeah, I may have read too much as a tween.

Word on the Goosebumps and Christopher Pike books.

i was so disgusted by the harry potter phenomena when it came out the i avoided the books like the plague. j.k. rowling rivals roald dahl, my ass! around the time the 4th book came out, noodle kidoodle was going out of business at the mall and had all the hard covers for like $5 a piece, so fuck it. i'll read 'em for that price.
wow
i was amazed with how well written these books are.
so when twilight came out i thought i would give it the same chance.
wrong!
horrible terrible juvenile trash
well, let me try the second book just to make sure.
yep, i'm sure. it's absolute shit. mtv marketing at it's best (or worst, rather)

I know I've read both of them...ok, I'll check for them at the library. I want the most incestastic book I can get.

Maybe you should just splurge for the $1.96 and buy one...excellent additions to anyone's home library, methinks.

People, the best Sweet Valley High book is, hands down, Dear Sister. You know, the one where Elizabeth rides the motorcycle with Todd and they get into an accident and Elizabeth ends up in a coma and wakes up thinking she's Jessica and is all obnoxious and then dumps Todd and sluts it up with Bruce Patman and he touches her boob. Oh man, I was like eight when I read that book and it scandalised the hell out of me. That's probably why the V.C. Andrews books didn't freak me the fuck out like they should have, because I was already broken. My oblivious parents let me read whatever I wanted because they were all, "Books can't be bad!" They had no idea.

Oh man, I was like eight when I read that book and it scandalised the hell out of me.

ME TOO!!! Which is why I also was not disturbed by the VC Andrews books. Oh man, when my mother finally picked one up out of curiousity? That was a fun day.

Isn't there a SVH where a twin gets kidnapped? I need to reread them. Now.

"why isn't Lord of the Rings on the list? I mean, yeah Harry Potter spawned a lot of terrible clones ... but Lord of the Rings ... how many more bible fairy tales "disguised" as fantasy can one take?"

Posted by: Le Kim Nguyen at November 20, 2008 4:10 PM

Because LOTR isn't a bible fairy tale. You're confusing it with "The Chronicals of Narnia" which is a bible fairy tale. I love LOTR. I hate TCON. There's no comparison between the two. LOTR is not a children's series, it's a single novel broken into 3 parts to make printing more affordable during WWII. TCON is a children's series of 7 different stories that vaguely tie together and don't even appear in chronological order.

You diss Harry Potter, I don't like you. OK not entirely true, but I would strongly disagree with the assertion that they're no better than the average kid's fantasy lit.

But I'd rather they engage in some written text, instead of the computer / cell phone / TV / video game / movie / other form of technology that's taking away our culture's ability to appreciate the written word.

Absolutely. It's like when people shit all over Oprah's book club. I don't care if people are rushing to the book store to buy a novel just because Oprah tells them to, they're still reading.

I started reading Stephen King in 5th grade. My teachers used to send home notes that they were concerned about my choice of literature. My mom worried, too, but refused to take a book from me unless it had dirty pictures in it.

I can remember reading Cujo when I was nine or ten and being a little scarred, though. Up until then, I didn't realize kids could die.

I'm one of the 'a'most' who did not read the entire harry potter series. I read all but the last book because...i dont even know why i read the first, it never appealed to me but it was in my house, i think...i think one of my brothers was reading it..by then there where three or four of them out and i'd never heard of them until i nearly broke my neck falling over them.
Rowling stole the idea, for starters, and the books are fuck awful. I appreciate that she's sort of made it cool to read books when you're a kid again (I always did anyway but what ever)but she suhuuuuuuuuuuuucks hard
I hate that she's a succesful writer

Twilight's another one...i never ever heard of it until it was fucking everywhere ever and now my brother is reading the books which concerns me because he's too smart for that crud

Just...ach

Hmmm....no one has mentioned the Shopaholic series yet? The main character made me scream in frustration. Stop buying shit you can't afford!!!! And then she is of course saved by the rich hot guy.

Also, if you loved Anne of Green Gables, I hope you read the Emily of New Moon trilogy. A little overly weepy, but amazing and winsome nonetheless.

Ooooh! Also, during a (terrible) date earlier this week, dude mentioned that his favourite book was the DaVinci Code. It took all of my niceness (limited) and strength (considerable) not to walk out at that moment. I walked out later on when he told me all about his strawberry shortcake fetish.

My parents were devout christians so I wasn't allowed to read any book until I finished the Bible. Yeah, I had a crush on both Samson and a young King David (because crushing on the old King David would've been gross).

Nevermind, Urban Dictionary has helped me out and made me barf. Eeeewwww.

At this point I'm hoping he means the little scented dolls, Julie.

Not even Mooj would go there.

I'm glad others have the love for C.Pike and RLStine! Yay! I loved all those horror books when I was wee.

It looks like Stine has slowed down of late, nothing has been released this year.

Pike does have a book out this year, called Falling.

As for HP, I've read the first three books at least five times. each. i love them. I've actually been meaning to read them again, straight through.

Does anyone else read the Dresden Files? Or the Kushiel books?

Marquis de Sade at 12 and onward through adolescence.

Interesting times.

Lightweight, it ain't.

I just read through the comments, and I have to say a couple things:
@ Kayanne: Animorphs were the shiznitz- they were AWESOME.
@ Meaux: The twins are a size 4 now??? That's AWFUL, I can't believe it, they have been size 6s for a gazillion years. Ugh, this is a great direction we are heading.

Lizzieborden, i read the Dresden files...i just...they started out borderline cheesy and it just got worse and worse ...then the series came out and missed the point entirely...i gave them up

I used to read the Anita Blake, Merry Gentry, and Sookie Stackhouse books too, but i find that with series like that, eventually the narrative has to build to something and since they're books they can go really wild and more often than not the author goes fucking insane

Wow! Barbies! Babysitters Club (MaryAnn's hot boyfriend Logan was totally my first literary crush)! Stine and Pike! Crushing on young king David! All spiraling into what? The Marquis de Sade! Totally Awse, y'all. Thanks for the memories.

Thank you Meaux, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I will read the books some day, what I didn't get during the whole craze was why did I have to read them right that instant? If they're as good as everyone says, I can wait, they'll still be good when the hype dies down right?

On another topic, what about Goosebumps?

ah, nadine... I love the Dresden Files. Mostly for Dresden himself. I really feel like there's been good character development and that the series has really improved. But, considering they're kinda a takeoff of pulp, the cheese is to be expected. :)

Agreed about the show, though. It totally missed the point of the series. Paul Blackthorne is all kinds of gorgeous though.

I used to read the Anita Blake books as well. Until they just got to the point of being glorified porn. And the author's antics really rub me the wrong way. I am still reading the Sookie Stackhouse books, slowly.

Lizzie, exactly, Laurel K Hamilton has gone fucking insane, her books are....i mean is there even a plot any more????

Now that I'm obsessing over the literary habits of my youth, I think a Christopher Pike book was the last thing I read , when I was maybe twelve, before my mom introduced me to David Eddings' Belgariad and my life changed forever.

Hahahaha...oh, Julie. Oh...Julie. I have no words.

But just in case, I have a bottle of genuine Mexican tequila sitting there on the shelf for use in dire emergencies. Just in case you need it.

I've only read the first chapter of the HP books. Reading all the Huffypuffy names kind of pissed on my brain so I haven't read any of them since. I enjoy the movies though.

I read The Davinci Code at the lake after I finished the other three books I brought and it was all that was available. I remember that, after I finished the last sentence, I wondered what had just happend to me. Then I called the police, filed a report and had my wife take me to the hospital so I could have a rape kit performed.

the Felix Castor books, by Mike Carey?

nope, but i just added them to my amazon wishlist. they do sound awesome. looks like only the first two are available on this side of the pond.

Ace list.

I'm quite proud to say I never really succumb to pop culture, thus saying, I couldn't care natch about Harry Porter and Da Vinci Code. I've never so much as had any urgings to read them. And I read a lot.

On the other hand, I adored Sweet Valley High. Who could forget Todd and Elizabeth???

kalafraja and all you Babysitters Club lovers, Those where the good days...I even went as far to read Babysitters little sister, the diaries and the specials.

zygomatique - I loved Emily of New Moon. It made me want to be a writer and die of consumption in a garet...someday I hope to acheive my goals.

Did anyone on Pajiba...NOT mutilate their barbies, Action Men, GI Joe's or Kens?

Because i definately fucked them UP, i even tortured the little shelly doll once by hacking off her hair and biting off one of her fingers

I still have all my barbies actually...every now and then, my sister and i (im 22, she's 24) will dig them out and play with them all, usually really mental games too, ones that usually end up with action man(the original, British GI Joe or...something)being the father of teenage courtenays several bastard children while her olde, richer sister Barbie ignored her plight as an unwed, underage mother and tried to bone AM since she was sexually broken for as yet unknown reasons

But yeah...say something if you didnt fuck barbie up?

All this Sweet Valley High chat has made me long to read one, so I trek over to Ebay and what do you know, Peeps are selling some of our past on there. There are already people bidding for it.

Awwwwwwwww.

So tempted...

I'm quite proud to say I never really succumb to pop culture, thus saying, I couldn't care natch about Harry Porter

Proud?

PROUD?

GOD DAMN YOU!

('cause when does one get to quote that line?)

http://claudiasroom.blogspot.com/

for the babysitters club fans... it's the shit. Its almost as though she was a fan of this site.

Personally I always was a Stacey girl

is that what Meyer is saying?

Well, she's not putting a new twist on old lore. She admittedly doesn't know the lore and hasn't read but one Anne Rice book I think. She doesn't know how vampires "work". As I've said before, even the adult romance versions of monsters who act the same way (they don't hurt anyone, but there's always a bad apple from out of town who wants to spoil everything I mean what an asshole! Gah!) generally conform to what the average person knows. In this case the "vegetarian" thing means they just run around in the forest killing animals...like Teen Wolf or the safe adult monsters...except Meyer's werewolves apparently aren't actually werewolves.

What I'm tryin to say here is, well, it seems that she doesn't know what she's saying, and thus probably couldn't answer your question.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27788655/

This article is a hoot, especially the last section.

Jay!

Line-quoting or not, that kind of anger is not tolerated 'round these parts. Pajiba is a place of welcoming so you should just get the hell out.

I'm taking back the cookie I gave you for using the word sully. *glare*

And don't sass me for not having read Harry Potter, either. Sheesh, we non-HP readers get enough flack from the ridiculously obsessive classmates that yack our ear off about how we're uneducated heathens. So what if I pretended to care about the series as I listened to a guy I had a huge crush on talk about Hogwarts and Hermoine and then when he found out I was "ignorant" he scoffed!

Grrr... Fucker said that my personality reminded him of that Professor Trelawney character. *sobs* I may be bespectacled but I never wore coke bottle glasses!

Oh I am sorry, what were we talking about again?

Just amazing, old fashioned, grumpy, surly detective with an irrepresable charm and dry wit, sees the dead and works as an exorcist in a ghost, ghoul and loup garou infested London

Uhh....kind of sounds like the Frighteners (FAVORITE HORROR MOVIE EVER! SHUT UP!) set in London.

Also sounds like my type of book. My least favorite thing about when semesters are in session is that my reading decreases extremely since I'm constantly reading texts rather than what I want to read.

My friend just sent me this in an e-mail entitled "A Typical Twilight Fan"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-turfrcQY-w

I've never met one and I know pretty much nothing about the books, but I thoroughly enjoyed this.

Uhh....kind of sounds like the Frighteners (FAVORITE HORROR MOVIE EVER! SHUT UP!)

i love that movie. i just watched it this past weekend. it's really pretty underrated if you ask me.

I will tell you for free.

I have a 10 year old daughter who was determined to read "Twilight". I told her what the series was about. I asked her if she thought she was ready for it, if it was too much for her. She put it on hold at the library. It finally became available and she brought it home. Her father told her not to read it until I had given my official approval. I looked at some passages in the book. I checked various websites and forums to discover if its content would be appropriate for a 10 year old. I finally decided to let her read it.

Her reaction?

"Eh, it was okay. Do we have any ice cream left?"

I could not have been more proud if she had become the first pre-adolescent/black/female President of the United States of America.

I am thinking of having her cloned.

lizzieborden, i have read all of the Kushiel books. and i love them, from the pleasure/pain premise on down. they were a quick, fun read.

i haven't read any of the series on this list, but i started reading Harry Potter to my son when he was in kindergarten. we only got through book 3 because he preferred the movies as he thought the books were as boring as i did.

am i the only person who thought Ken was gay? i never had Barbie & Ken getting it on because i just didn't think that was right--what? i was a kid. it just didn't seem right that Ken would be with Barbie when he clearly preferred men. plus, i liked Christie way more than that b!tch Barbie.

lemme grab my keys, Sarina! how long you think it takes to get from the east coast to practically the great white north? three days?

*door slams*

*car starts*

*tires peeling out*

Yea, nadine I'm really sick of being in college. My two favorite authors are Nick Hornby and Don Miller and I'm really trying to finish reading all of their books but I just end up flipping through my tattered copy of High Fidelity because I don't have the time proper to start a fresh book. Speaking of Everything is Illuminated, I still need to read Foer's other book. That's probably going to be the next one I read, followed by Pablo Paramo and A Hundred Years of Solitude.

Speaking of, I feel really bad that I don't have any female authors that I read regularly. I just read a book by Sloane Crosley, but I don't have a female favorite author, any suggestions?

Besides, any guy rhapsodizing over Hermione Granger and not Ginny Weasley ain't worth your time anyway.

Honestly, Jay, I don't remember what specifically he was mentioning but I didn't want to look up muggles and I knew how to spell Hermoine.

But hey, direct any "worthy" guys this way. I'm worried kalafraja is only saying she'll be my stalker and that her heart truly belongs to Julie.

Dammit we can't all be as lovable as Julie! *pout*

Hey, Dustin! Is the Recent back on? Or is that just teasing me in the Preview screen? Go-Go Bugless Pajiba!

Can't say that I have. Is it a book I should chase after a copy of, right now?

I second the Laurie Notaro recommendation. She will rock your socks off with the funny.

Kayanne, are you stalker-cheating on me already?

Oh my. I can't even maintain the attraction of a stalker for 12 hours. I give up at life.

Of course I haven't abandoned you. When I stalk, I stalk for keeps. I'm not fickle about matters of the heart, or of obsession.

I hear you on the man-stalk front. And I use man-stalk as a euphemism. Oh dear.

I need to read some wholesome Anne Shirley tales to rid me of my wicked thoughts.

man-stalk as a euphemism

Mmmmm man-stalk.

And yay! I have a stalker. Also, we both have amazing boobies.

I will expect you to finish your story too.

You mean the story about the DOA date or the Wall-E date or the little ditty about Jack & Diane?

I should in form you that sometime after the pizza was delivered I found a large glass of wine... So if I start referencing old 80s hits it is not my fault. And this probably doesn't help my argument that I sing karaoke sober (rather prefer it that way).

But you know, you see my true colors. true colors that are beautiful.

Beautiful. Like a rainbow.

And I'm done.

The force of our boobies together could change the world. SuperBoob Squared.

Yes. kalafraja let's make a comic. Or something.

And since I've usually gotta sing alone on a Monday night, when I have no business being out that late either, I'm my own designated driver and have to keep things light.

Aww, Jay, you and me have got to go Karaokeing together! Atlanta is only... *checks Google Maps*

Oh. 5 and a half hours away. Man!

Oh well, I can just serenade you and the rest of the Pajibaverse over the internet.

As a teacher of ages 9-12, I have to really give credit for the whole Harry Potter phenomenon. Whether you like the book or not, you have to admit that it made the market for books geared towards that age group EXPLODE. And, consequently, there are now so many good, or at least entertaining, books out there for that age group, both for boys and girls. With so much selection out there, I find that many more kids (including boys) are begining to devour books. What could be better than that?

Oh my Godtopus, I've been waiting for this.

There is a book, a result of the whole DaVinci Code imitation fallout, that I'm warning you, NO ONE WHO LIKES WORDS, THOUGHTS, or ANY OF THE ABOVE STRUNG TOGETHER IN NOVEL FORM...SHOULD...EVER...TOUCH.

I can't go into it, it's too painful...it's the literary equivalent of eating a bad batch of menudo. The Third Translation by Matt Bondurant...for the love of God, just trust me. Please.

I'm late to the game as per usual but I just want to mention my favorite author as a kid.

Madeline L'Engle. Now and forever. There was nothing fucking cooler than Wrinkle in Time and all the other sequels and spin-offs.

Somehow, when I read the title I knew that you would go after the Potter series. I may even give a certain level of social pressure during the middle titles but not with the last two and even the upcoming Rowling release.
But...seeing two major suburbs of Chicago shut down to host Potter parties, throws it off this list. It was beyond pressure, it was an investment into the series at to the literary characters, and people that really cared about what happened on the written page. For such a literate and intelligent person as yourself, I find it hard to believe that you do not see the value in this.

I am also surprised that you did not take a swipe at the Ryan books by Tom Clancy. Considering they spawned a bunch of shitty movies, with the exception of Hunt for Red October, and video gaming empire and is written by a right-leaning author I figured this to be a perfect target.

"2. Da Vinci Code. God, what a terrible book."

I have never loved you more, Rowles. I've always wanted to get my hands around the neck of whoever edited that roiling piece of crap and choke the bejesus out of them. This book is a deal breaker for me; if a guy admits to thinking it's good, they need to not be in my life anymore.

Re: the Baby-sitters' Club. The best thing is that there's now a website you can go to that looks back on the "fashions" described in the books, so you can truly see how bug-nutty they truly are. http://whatclaudiawore.blogspot.com/ 'Cause we all know that Claudia was like one of those girls that you'd see on Go Fug Yourself or something.

Oh lord helmet, I love Gordon Korman!
Are we supposed to be sheepish about that now?

Also Jay I believe you're right. Meyer doesn't know how vampires 'work' and what's more, I don't believe she cares. I read some thing she wrote about how excited she was to be on set while they were filming 'Twilight' and how one of the actors asked if vampires ever ate food and how she told them 'no never' and then they asked what would happen if they did eat a bit of of food - because apparently Glittery Hunk Vampire eats a bite of apple or something equally as stupidly metaphoric - and her response was something akin to "I had to explain the icky truth to them - that the vampire would have to spit the food back up later". Good lord! Let me explain the 'icky' truth to you, ignorant 'Twilight' matriarch. Vampires don't eat food because all they want is to pierce your jugular and suck down every last drop of your sweet precious blood and if you suffer while they do it even better and when you die they don't mourn your passing by reciting poetry and if they fall in love with you it's only until they're close enough to drink you dry and also VAMPIRES ARE NOT GLITTERY.

I need to stop now. This thread is making my inner rage outer.

Hi late to the party as usual.
I love the harry potter books with a fiery passion! They remind me of being a kid and escaping into a good book also my heart breaks for any little kid whose an orphan, has a horrible home life and on top of that has to fight a noseless Rafe fiennes.

I also adored point horror as a young kid, anything creepy and ghoulish-R.L Stein, Christopher Pike, Stephen King if it had a monster, murderer, demented storyline I was in.
Judy Bloom was my heroine-I so wanted to be an american kid.
I read the SVH books and liked then but the whole gorgeous size 6 twins really bugged me especially as the sizing is different in the UK and for me being a size 6 was a pre pubescent childs body and when I hit size 8 I wanted to kill myself. Plus their fashion taste was a little off to my oh so trendy british sensibilities.

Yes I hold my hands up me and my friends did start a babysitting club and I had to be becky and my best friend had to be mallory because we were technically the youngest by a few months. It was all fun and games until I started babysitting my numerous younger and older siblings from the age of 11 and I realised those books were a big fat lie! Babysitting is not fun, the safety of others is to much responsibility, children are evil and NO I didnt get paid. I still read them though so I could sit in my room and make sarcastic comments about claudia's fashion sense and occasionally scream 'Lies all Lies. LIARS ALL OF YOU LIARS' I left the fake babysitting group because none of the other girls had actually babysat before and just didnt understand.

I didnt just read crap though I remember reading american psycho around the age of 10, I thought it was beyond boring though, Jane Austen was a firm favourite and still is, I read Bridget Jones's Diary when I was 11 and though I loved it I prayed to God I didnt end up like her when I was a grown up....Im still waiting for him to get back to me on that. I never read 'flowers in the attic' as Iv mentioned before incest does not fly with me I cant read about it, watch it (im looking at you star wars)or talk about it, it makes me feel ill.

Iv been reading the Kathy Reichs series since uni and I love it and I recommend it to anyone with an interest in sexy anthropology and often demented storylines. These days I need a heavy, engrossing, sometimes violent murder mystery and a silly rom-com to balance it out, at least once a week.

Yeah my barbie always got together with Action Man because he had movable limbs, Kens just stuck straight out how could barbie be with a guy whose arms didnt bend?. I had a total crush on action man hell I still do. Ooooh nadine Ive thought of a new game Action Man talk show host!!!!

Woah there nadine, those are My books and if anyone will be selling that crap it will be me so keep your grubby hands off them.
Also Dont offer to sell parts of my childhood!!!

Chicken Soup for the Vegetarian

I second Ali with the His Dark Materials love. The Golden Compass is one of the great fantasy novels, and though the series falls apart a bit by the end, it will really blow your mind. Way more sophisticated than Harry Potter...And his other books aren't bad young adult mysteries.

So... vampires are just a butt-stamp and a mane away from being My Little Ponies, is that what Meyer is saying? Because I can NOT get behind that.

I actually spit coffee across my desk, but I'm not asking for compensation. That sentence was worth the mop up.

I read the first three Twilight books because a friend had done so at the behest of several people and didn't get the appeal. She wanted to know if she was missing something. Mind you, she is my best friend, and I would do anything for her. I may never forgive her, and she apologizes and buys me well-written books in an attempt to make up for it. I am hoping the guilt lasts for years. Then, maybe, the fury and disgust I have for what Meyer has wrought on this world might fade. Fucking manipulative, emotionally unavailable, more than a little cruel guy who stalks you is the perfect boyfriend because he's hot and glittery. No, really?? And your best friend turns out to be the same kind of guy only with fur?? Yeah, no.

As for Harry Potter, I read them all. Once. They were okay. It was the first series my older son got into, and he has continued to read. The problem is that there's fuck all marketed to teenaged boys. My younger son reads all sorts of things and did his book review poster on The Phantom Tollbooth, which he plucked off of my shelf when I wasn't looking. That made me very happy - both the poster and the theft.

I can't fault Rowling for her success. It was a matter of timing. At least she kept her world largely consistent, had more than a passing acquaintance with proper grammar, and told a fairly good tale. Meyer's success is like a metal spike driving into my head, such is the wrongness. The fact that there will now be waves of fan fiction based on her series makes my heart hurt.

I do not understand how anyone can like Twilight. I gave the first book a read a long time ago and I thought I'd read better stories written by fifth graders.

Harry Potter books were good, and they got a lot of kids into reading more I think - so, yay for that. But Twilight is only going to make kids, teens and the general public stupider. Give them all a copy of Madeline L'Engle's 'A Wrinkle in Time', for goodness sakes. Or tell them to skip the 'movies' and read the Narnia series.

Someone mentioned Gordon Korman? LOVE THOSE BOOKS, what! Ah.

Oh! Oh! And Laurel K Hamilton! I got to explain those to Roomie too! I said "They were really entertaining at first but then they devolved into S&M vampire-werewolf porn. And not even GOOD porn. Like, third-rate S&M vampire-werewolf porn."
Um, for the record, I am not an S&M vampire-werewolf porn connisseur.
It says a lot about how good a person Roomie is that these conversations don't screw up our relationship at all.

I can't remember all the things I want to comment about in this thread.

1) Someone else read Trixie Belden! But I don't think anyone mentioned Encyclopedia Brown or Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators.

2) I 83rd the opinion that Harry Potter shouldn't be on this list. How can you back up the assertion that kids are being "pressured" to read them? Also, all children's serial books have a lot of repetition. So do a lot of adult books that are part of a series, including The Dresden Files, which seems to be popular around here.

3) I really enjoyed the first 3 or 4 Jack Ryan books. The plots are great, and I learned to recognize the weapons fetish paragraphs so I could skip over them. But the books get more and more jingoistic as Clancy got older? richer? and by the time Jack is president the series is unreadable. And how did Clancy not get any blame for 9/11 when one of his books (the sum of all fears maybe) has terrorists flying planes into government buildings (congress, if I remember correctly)?

4) Anyone with a child who like to read should get a list of Newbury award winners. It's how I discovered Madeline L'Engle, Judy Blume, Mrs Frisbee and the Rats of NIMH, Phantom Tollbooth, etc.

someone up there mentioned getting grief at school for the king books at 9. i had to write a letter to my daughter's school librarian to allow her to check out whatever she wanted because she thought goosebumps were to scary for an eight-year-old.
seriously??
i don't really like a lot of the series my daughter reads, but who cares? she reads. and i slip all of the books i love on her shelve since she'll read anything she gets ahold of

Sweet Valley High? Really? Those were awesome! One twin was a skinny blond skank but the other was smart and shy. She gave a 9 year old nerd hope.

Glad to see I wasn't the only one who read Scholastic series banned by their parents. To this day I don't think I have told my mom how many Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley books I secretly borrowed from the school library. Or that I have read most of the Harry Potter series. (we're pretty sheltered.)

I think the problem with most of the items on this list is not the books themselves, but the ensuing fandom and spinoffs. Except for the Da Vinci Code. That book blows. As my biblical studies prof remarked last year "Just holding it makes me want to break out in hives." Maybe I should suck it up and read the whole thing, but a chapter alone made me want to scream.

Go ahead, call me a paranoid uptight Catholic. But if a pulp novel slickly opposing your beliefs was embraced by thousands of middle aged house wives, you'd be ticked off too. We're not hiding the Gospel of Thomas, you can buy it at Barnes and Freaking Noble.
Last year at the National Gallery of Art,I sprinted down a hallway just before closing time so I could see the only Leonardo outside of Europe. (Portrait of Genevra de Benci) Sure enough, there was a woman in mom jeans asking the security guard if he had read some Dan Brown. Auughhhhh!

Love you Frumpie. Loved how Redwall Abbey would always have secrets. By the 15th book you'd have to imagine the place is just pure symbols. Just secret doors on secret doors. I imagine if you tried to map out the Abbey using clues from the books it would turn out like the Golden Girls' house.

I pretty much agree with you on all counts...and, though I somehow like the Twilight movie in all it's cheesiness, I do agree that the books are ridiculous trype. One thing, though: "vegetarian" vamps aren't exactly a new idea. Anne Rice's Louis didn't drink human blood, either, for the same reason. He just didn't call himself a vegetarian...