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The Five Best Signature Horror Movie Weapons

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (61)



top-25-movie-franchises-of-all-time-20061126075751665.jpg

5. Jason Voorhies’ Machete in Friday the 13th


4. Freddy Kruger’s Razor Glove in Nightmare on Elm Street

3. Jack Frost’s Icicles in Jack Frost

2. Ash’s Chainsaw Hand in Evil Dead 2

1. The Leprechaun’s Killer Pogo Stick in The Leprechaun










Pajiba Love 03/20/09 | Knowing Review













Comments

...."Sarlacc as Frued's vaginal dentate"

Gonna be riding that all day.

Wasn't there an actual movie where a chick ate people with her vagina?

Posted by: Friar at March 20, 2009 2:07 PM

Wasn't there an actual movie where a chick ate people with her vagina?

Not people, just pee-pee's.

Michael Myers knife. He always had one.
Leatherfaces chainsaw.

Posted by: admin at March 20, 2009 2:14 PM

Are you forgetting Cherry Darling's machine gun leg? Come ON!!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at March 20, 2009 2:15 PM

The psychotic lesbian's burly male alter-ego in High Tension?

Posted by: Blonde Savant at March 20, 2009 2:16 PM

I'm lobbying to include logs as seen in Final Destination 2.

That's how nature fights back, M. Night, you fuckstick.

Posted by: branded at March 20, 2009 2:18 PM

Umm, duh, it's the paperclip in Student Bodies.

Posted by: Eep at March 20, 2009 2:23 PM

What about when Michael Meyers melted that lady's face off in the hospital hot tub? That was pretty gruesome.

Posted by: Cindy at March 20, 2009 2:34 PM

The Driller Killer, anyone? Anyone?

No?

[frowny face]

Posted by: I Love Beets at March 20, 2009 2:34 PM

I saw the Driller Killer double-featured with The Toolbox Murders...good times.

Posted by: Adam C at March 20, 2009 2:37 PM

Kathrine Heigl's vajayjay in Knocked Up.

Posted by: admin at March 20, 2009 2:39 PM

admin's razor-sharp wit.

Posted by: figgy at March 20, 2009 2:40 PM

candyman's hook.
willard's rats.
white noise's um, static.
mr. magorium's wonder emporium.

Posted by: gp at March 20, 2009 2:41 PM

The sweet car in Carrie?

How about murder by toddler in Pet Sematary?

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at March 20, 2009 2:41 PM

And don't forget The Couch That Eats People, or something along those lines ....

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at March 20, 2009 2:42 PM

The stuff in well..the stuff. Death by frozen yogurt

Posted by: Mrcreosote at March 20, 2009 2:46 PM

The laser eyes of the boobed statues in The Neverending Story.

Posted by: branded at March 20, 2009 2:46 PM

...aaaaaand, I gotta do it....

CLOWNS!!!!!!!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at March 20, 2009 2:48 PM

That beer that made the dude's stomach explode in Slaughter High. Anybody ever seen this? I think the tagline was something like, "Marty majored in cutting classmates."

Awesome.

Posted by: Mattfactor at March 20, 2009 2:59 PM

The sweet car was in Christine, although Carrie's freaky telekinesis should get at least one vote.

Posted by: Kolby at March 20, 2009 3:07 PM

May in May. Damn, that movie is weird.

Posted by: Nadha at March 20, 2009 3:07 PM

I can't remember if it was a knife or a broomstick, but whatever Michael Meyers used to pin that high school kid to the wall in the first Halloween. Remember he'd just had sex with the gf and was getting some beer, them Michael strangled him and pinned him to the pantry door? What the hell did he use?

The weight-lifting machine used to smash that guy's head in Final Destination 3.

Posted by: Brie at March 20, 2009 3:15 PM

I still hate you for the Return of the Jedi Sucks edition of Pajiba love. I wont forgive you until you sit through Miss March, or something worse!

Posted by: George at March 20, 2009 3:20 PM

George, Dustin has been almost flamboyant in his dislike for Star Wars for as long as I've been reading this site. It's not really a secret. He regularly pokes fun at both the movies and the nerds like us who adore them.

Posted by: Snath at March 20, 2009 3:25 PM

What the hell did he use?

Pretty sure it was a straight-on big-ol' butcher's knife.

Christine vs. Carrie

D'oh! [/inadvertently gouges own eye with finger]

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at March 20, 2009 3:29 PM

The slugs in Slither!

"my easygoing nature is being sorely fucking tested!"

Posted by: MG at March 20, 2009 3:34 PM

The hooks and chains in Hellraiser.

Posted by: Julie at March 20, 2009 3:34 PM

Chigurh's shotgun w/silencer (diff. genre though).

Jack Torrance's plain ole ax.

Daniel Plainview's bowling pin (diff. genre also).

Posted by: Recondite at March 20, 2009 3:36 PM

So there's a snowman fucking a woman to death but god forbid they show any boobies?

Uh, yeah...

Priorities...

Posted by: Recondite at March 20, 2009 3:45 PM

Did he fuck her to death with his carrot?! How have I not seen this movie?

Posted by: Julie at March 20, 2009 3:52 PM

Chainsaw!

Those things are terrifying on their own.

Posted by: figgy at March 20, 2009 3:57 PM

It's not really a secret.

It's just hollow pandering to the female majority though.

Posted by: Jay at March 20, 2009 4:00 PM

No love for the Phantasm flying orb?

Posted by: monitorman at March 20, 2009 4:01 PM

The Kurgen's bloody great sword.

Posted by: Lisa S at March 20, 2009 4:02 PM

Sorry about this because it's a totally different genre but:

The earwig Kahn uses to take over Chekhov's brain.

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!

The only man who ever made me want to by a Cordoba.

Posted by: admin at March 20, 2009 4:03 PM

*buy

Dur.

Posted by: admin at March 20, 2009 4:04 PM

rikkitikkitavi, I believe you're referring to Death Bed, The Bed That Eats People.

Soon to be followed by Rape Stove.

Posted by: dave at March 20, 2009 4:04 PM

I will pay $100 to watch Rape Stove. Someone make it happen.

Posted by: Snath at March 20, 2009 4:06 PM

Holy crap, Julie, you haven't seen Jack Frost?! Woman, I am driving to Philadelphia tomorrow morning with the DVD. I'll be at some street corner waving it the air and yelling, "Well it ain't fucking Frosty!"

I don't know what street corner, because I don't know any streets in Philly. But I'll be there! Just keep driving around until you find me.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at March 20, 2009 4:06 PM

Rape Stove

My GOD. I am howling at my desk.

AvB, I think I saw parts of the second one...I remember boobs and melted snowman water and boobs and blood and boobs.

Posted by: Julie at March 20, 2009 4:21 PM

I have seen The Gingerdead Man. Featuring a killer cookie voiced by Gary Busey. Holler.

Posted by: Julie at March 20, 2009 4:22 PM

Rape...Stove...

Posted by: figgy at March 20, 2009 4:29 PM

How about the extendable brain-raping mini-mouth of the creature(s) in the Alien movies? Freaked me right out the first time I saw it.

Posted by: JPGuy13 at March 20, 2009 4:32 PM

Did anyone mention the knives attached to that guys dick in the movie "Seven?"

Posted by: Pookie at March 20, 2009 5:18 PM

Seems like I recall some bad 80's movie where a cowboy had some sexy time with a woman and she sucked him right up into her mommy parts. I believe she was pregnant in the next scene.

Of course, that could also be some weird dream brought on by some bad tacos. I really can't remember.

Posted by: Codeman at March 20, 2009 5:24 PM

Pretty sure it was a straight-on big-ol' butcher's knife.

Thanks, Rikkitikkitavi. That's what I figured; but it had to be pretty strong to hold a person to the wall.

Posted by: Brie at March 20, 2009 5:55 PM

It was a Heinkel.

Posted by: admin at March 20, 2009 5:58 PM

No admin, it was not a Heinkel. It was a Hanzo.

Posted by: Pookie at March 20, 2009 6:09 PM

Codeman, you're thinking of "Grim Prairie Tales: Hit the Trail... to Terror."

You're welcome.

Posted by: Lizzie (greeneyed fem) at March 20, 2009 6:19 PM

Can I get anyone to second a nomination for the Silver Shamrock mask in Halloween III: Season of the Witch? Anyone? Anyone?

Why am I the only person who loved that movie.

Six more days to Halloween...Halloween...Halloween...

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at March 20, 2009 6:24 PM

I am going to be alone tonight for the first time in God knows how long (and no, that's not sad...it's a welcome reprieve from my social/work calendar), so I think I might just settle in, find a pleasantly altered state, and watch horror movies until I can't watch anymore.

And then cry. Because I'm a big baby.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at March 20, 2009 6:33 PM

I swear, that had to be the 84th freakin' time I've seen a clip of Jack Frost here. Rowles, I think this might be a fetish.

Posted by: Jer at March 20, 2009 8:15 PM

We'll split the difference Pookie and call it a Ginsu. They never go dull.

Posted by: admin at March 20, 2009 9:56 PM

Nadha - I probably shouldn't admit that I own, and semi-regularly watch, that movie. Small comfort that I'm not the only one floating around Pajiba that knows of May.

Meanwhile, huzzah to the Jack Frost hat tip. That was my friendship test film for several years. (Also, the hideous puns are the best weapon of the movie, not the icicles.)

Posted by: Anne at March 20, 2009 11:04 PM

Pajiba should really get a chatroom somewhere.

On the one hand, I think this could be awesome. Some of these threads turn into chats anyway.

On the other hand...I can't even imagine. It'd be pretty scary.

Posted by: figgy at March 20, 2009 11:52 PM

Did anyone mention the knives attached to that guys dick in the movie "Seven?"

Posted by: Pookie at March 20, 2009 5:18 PM
---
Beat me to it, Pooks. I took too long trying to figure out what to call it, was going to go with "that strap-on thing" but I like your description better.
---
We'll split the difference Pookie and call it a Ginsu. They never go dull.

Posted by: admin at March 20, 2009 9:56 PM
---
And I like admin's description best.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 21, 2009 12:34 AM

I probably shouldn't admit that I own, and semi-regularly watch, that movie.

May is a damn good movie. There's nothing to be ashamed about.

Posted by: little ya at March 21, 2009 3:56 AM

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Posted by: owenlove at March 21, 2009 12:12 PM

Not a weapon, exactly, but those of you know and love May must have been creeped out by the Real Doll in Love Object.

Posted by: dowhutnow at March 21, 2009 4:13 PM

the leprechaun's pogo-stick? Signature? Razor glove and chainsaw hand, sure, but a pogostick? And why even mention Jack Frost?

I'd have put in the Alien and it's second mouth and nicholson's axe from The Shining.

Posted by: Some Guy at March 21, 2009 5:51 PM

Are accents considered a weapon? Because there's a certain accent fron a certain movie done by a certain dude that is both appalling and irresistible at the same time... I can hear it even when the TV is off... in a stranger's footsteps, in the cackle of an evil child, in my ex's new girlfriend's giggle...

Break out da fine china, chill the lemonade and tie a yella ribbon 'round da ol' oak tree. Cuz this boys comin' home to see his ladies. Comin' home FOR EVAH

Ear rape. It's real.

Posted by: SofĂ­a at March 23, 2009 10:30 AM

In what movie is there a scene where a guy is on a bench press lifting a barbell, and someone drops a weight on his crotch, causing him to drop the barbell on himself and die? It's a pretty bloody scene, but I can't recall the movie it was in.

Posted by: Ben Steinke at April 19, 2009 7:21 PM


















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