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The First Annual Bowtie Awards

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (13)



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The Best Use of a Bowtie to Highlight One’s Fussiness — Waylan Smithers

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The Best Use of a Bowtie to Illustrate Both Literal and Figurative Impotence — Tucker Carlson:

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Best Use of a Bowtie to Satirize Tucker Carlson —Mo Rocca

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Best Use of a Bowtie to Lure Children into a Van — Pee Wee Herman

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Best Bowtie Ensemble — The Cast of Party Down

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Best Use of a Bowtie to Distract Attention Away from a Mustache — Hercule Poirot

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Best Combination of Bowtie and Anapestic Tetrameter — The Cat in the Hat

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Best Use of a Bowtie to Lull You Into a False Sense of Security Before He Emphatically Pops a Copper-Jacketed, Hollow-Point, 120-Grain Hot Street Load In Your Motherf*cking Ass — Brother Mouzone

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Best Use of a Bowtie to Blow Your New Paradigm into Eternity — The 11th Doctor

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Comments

Gosh I hope tomorrow's list is better than this.

Posted by: klingonfree at May 17, 2011 3:41 PM

I must protest!

A number of these bowtie wearers are not wearing bowties this year except in repeats or reprints.

And I'm pretty sure all the current bowtie wearers started wearing bowties earlier than this (I'll admit the last part may be a moot point depending on what the rules are, but still)

Posted by: cockroach at May 17, 2011 3:51 PM

...started wearing bowties earlier than this year

Damnitsomuch

Posted by: cockroach at May 17, 2011 3:53 PM

Best co-opting the bowtie look from a Muslim private investigator: Larry David

http://tinyurl.com/3wv92wp

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 17, 2011 4:36 PM

Blatant excuse to just post pictures of that goofy-looking kid who claims to be Doctor Who. I cry foul.

(That would be the case in most lists in which Matt Smith is involved. But here, it ws just an excuse to write " Anapestic Tetrameter." -- DR)

Posted by: Samantha at May 17, 2011 4:49 PM

I don't know if it's Doctor Who-inspired, but I've been seeing a lot more people wearing bowties recently.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 17, 2011 6:25 PM

I don't see myself as a bowtie guy, but you know what's really good? Bowtie pasta.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 17, 2011 6:26 PM

Really? Forgiven. :)

Posted by: Samantha at May 17, 2011 6:51 PM

No Dhani Jones???

For shame.

Posted by: Jordan at May 17, 2011 7:02 PM

Let me fix it for you Rowles.

1) Louis Farrakhan
2) everybody else


There.

Posted by: Pookie at May 17, 2011 7:43 PM

Does anyone know what happened to Mo Rocca? I know he was an "I Love the ...." bicycle. Did he get sold as a full fledged sex slave? Did he open a sexbakery called Cock Baby (hee-haw Bridesmids!). Inquiring minds need to know!

Posted by: beet salad at May 17, 2011 10:06 PM

Best Public Television Cooking Show Bowtie: Christopher Kimball (America's Test Kitchen and Cook's Country.)

Posted by: Siege at May 18, 2011 10:15 AM

What about Dr. Henry Jones Jr.??

Posted by: Chris F at May 19, 2011 10:44 AM