The First 7 Celebrities I'd Cast as Cameo Meth Tweakers in the Final Season of "Breaking Bad"

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | July 9, 2012 | Comments ()


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Macaulay Culkin

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Eddie Van Halen

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Christian Bale (Circa The Machinist)

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Christopher Walken

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Melissa Leo

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Mel Gibson

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Tilda Swinton (High-Class Meth Tweaker)

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Jairus Bellamy

    That's not Tilda Swinton...

  • ,

    I don't get the affection for Swinton. She looks a bit like Gollum, doesn't she?

    I mean in other posts. Looking like Gollum is kind of the point here, I guess.

  • PDamian

    I have no contribution to make to the list. I just wanted to say that the concept of a "celebrity cameo meth tweaker" has me giggling madly. If I had an IMDB profile, I'd want that on my list of roles, right along with "second alien anal prober from the left" and "fat redshirt Trekkie buying plastic ray gun at Comic-con in background." Alternatively, I'd like to play "woman drawing water from well who gets beheaded in passing by some random Lannister for no good reason, and she doesn't even have any lines."

  • Strand

    The entire (still living) cast of The Lost Boys.

  • Marcela

    I thought that photo of Eddie Van Halen was of Charlie Sheen.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Holy moly how long was Macaulay Culkin left home alone?

  • This.
    Also, whose fucking home was it?!

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Maybe it should be Homeless Alone.

  • If they make a film of his life then at least we know Rickety Cricket can get some work
    http://www.rankopedia.com/Cand...

  • Harrumphing

    So basically... "celebrities who I think look like stereotypical tweakers". Nice.

  • celery

    I guess this might be the wrong time to admit that I've often found Macaulay Culkin strangely attractive. Definitely not in that photo though.

  • POINGjam

    Bobcat Goldthwait.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Shouldn't Eddie Van Halen have enough money to buy a brush, or some conditioner, or some teeth?

  • Anne At Large

    Tongue cancer is a hell of a drug.

  • John G.

    I think it would be fun to cast Mel Gibson in things exclusively as a strung-out meth-head. That one recorded call where he called his ex a witch who was stealing his good looks makes me think that this would be worse torture for Mel than never working again.

  • Bert_McGurt

    As I learned from a baby this weekend, sometimes the things you love are so much more delicious when you forcefully smash them together and then eat them, so how about:

    Danny Pudi! AS ABED.

    Then next season Bryan Cranston is the Chemistry professor on Community.

    The writers can work out therest.

  • John W

    MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO EDDIE VAN HALEN?

  • Anne At Large

    I believe at the time, they called it The 80's.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I know. I know. I just saw this. He was cross-bred with a lizzard.

  • laylaness

    Man, am I glad I clicked through only to be rewarded with terror. These are scary. Except SWINTON. SWINTON is perfection.

    Is it already cliche to nominate La Lohan?

  • BiblioGlow

    I thought we agreed not to cast Mel Gibson in anything.

  • lowercase_ryan

    and you all know Joel Kinnaman tops this list. I mean seriously DR, this should be a given.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    How the hell did you leave Gary Busey off of this list? You're slipping, Rowles, and I don't like the direction this spiral is taking you.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Jeebus, Eddie. What, you been taking (some of) Keith Richards' damage, too?

    Wait, I get it. It's the guitar hero of Dorian Gray. Explains while Daddy Sparrow is still alive. Well, undead.

  • Bert_McGurt

    If you think he looks bad now, imagine how he'd look if he'd been eating the brown M&M's all this time.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Would Frankie Muniz be a little too on the nose?

    Assuming he still qualifies as a "celebrity", at least he can bring his own Blue Sky.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I would go with Howard Dean.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I upvoted you. But wish I could give you a second upvote for even remembering Howard Dean exists.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Viva New Mexico! Si, Se Puede!

    (Takes a bump)

    And then we're going to Roswell. And then to Santa Fe! And Las Cruces! And Albaquerque!

    And Ciudad Juarez!!!

    Yaaahhh!%$!%!&%&

    (Gets head cut off with an axe).

  • Mrcreosote

    Damn I wish Corey Haim didn't die.

  • branded_redux

    As we have to exclude the previous and perfect casting of Raymond Cruz, Ben Foster as Pinkman's long-lost twin brother.

  • UTON

    Joe Anderson. Dude has always struck me as a tweeker.

  • Speaking of Melissa Leo, did anyone see her on Louie last week? I already loved her, but seeing her in that role just doubled it.

  • John G.

    There should be a weekly Louie re-cap on this site

  • lowercase_ryan

    Tall Slut, No Panties <3

  • Jezzer

    I cannot wait for that show to come back. <3

  • lowercase_ryan

    I know, it fast became one of my favorites this year.

  • Jezzer

    That, and Veep, were the two best new comedies. :3

  • lowercase_ryan

    Veep had me until the finale. Stupid stupid finale.

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