The First 5 People I'd Audition to Play the Lead in a Film About Nikke Finke's Life

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The First 5 People I'd Audition to Play the Lead in a Film About Nikke Finke's Life

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | November 27, 2012 | Comments ()


For the unfamiliar, Nikki Finke is allegedly the most powerful woman in Hollywood. She knows every casting story before anyone else because she eavesdrops from her roving residence underneath the stairs of Hollywood agents. Rumor has it, if you speak Nikki Finke's three times in a mirror, she will magically appear, eat your children, and vanish into a deep well.

She's also famously reclusive. There's only one known picture of her (above), and who knows when that image was taken. In fact, she's so guarded about her secrecy that, when Brett Easton Ellis revealed which apartment building she lived in, she threatened to reveal the home address of the agents at Ellis' agency, ICM, and the school in which there children attended. That's baskets, people, BASKETS.

Given the fact that no one really knows what Nikki Finke looks like anymore, we're forced to rely only on her Deadline post and deduce from her writing what she might look like. Given that context, these five people seem natural fits to play Finke is the feature film adaptation of her life.

(P.S. If you don't hear from me ever again, you'll know why).

Rosie O'Donnell


Sandra Bernhardt


Joan Crawford


Shelley from American Horror Story


Mama Peacock


Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)

Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)

Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Pussy Posse Wolf Pack were on the douche prowl in NYC. (Lainey)

Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)

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