The First 5 People I'd Audition If I Were Casting the Lead in a Movie About the Rise and Fall of Mitt Romney
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The First 5 People I'd Audition If I Were Casting the Lead in a Movie About the Rise and Fall of Mitt Romney

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | September 18, 2012 | Comments ()


Peter Gallagher


Michael Douglas


Zach Morris' Dad


Mr. Fantastic


Gul Dukat


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • mags

    JD McCoy's dad!

  • Bob

    Matthew Fox

  • himonoonna

    Dukat indeed. Now I'm just going to sit back and wait for Romney to lose the election, descend into madness, become possessed through some bizarre Satanic ritual, and have to be banished to Ted the Caver's creepy cavern by the Ghost Adventures crew. It would be the best TV ever.

  • Sean

    Gul Dukat had far too much personality.

  • e jerry powell

    You'd have to do something about Gallagher's eyebrows. Michael Douglas, on the other hand...

  • Amy

    Bruce Campbell

  • Sean

    Perfect, except that Campbell has a soul

  • Pookie

    Oh how I’m so happy that Romney has once again shitted on the front lawn of your trailer park, has he finally convinced you now of his disdain for you? Or are you still of the mindset that the Kenyan wants to turn your country into a heaven for socialist moochers, you stupid ass Republican you? Romney is about to fist with both fist wearing studded gloves, and not just any old pair of studded gloves. I'm talking the studded gloves that has the fingers exposed so he can give you a nice tickle with his manicured middle finger as he thrust ever downward in your diseased and rotted soul.

  • Xtacle Steve

    Please tell me I'm not the only one that got an erection from reading this.

  • Greedy

    So, you are still undecided?

  • RilesSD


  • valerie

    Zach Morris' dad FTW

  • Bruce Campbell could knock it out of the park!

  • $27019454

    You forgot to mention the statues on Easter Island.

  • Blake

    I thought they were the Doctor?

  • Groundloop

    Well played! This one seems to have the just the right blend of smug satisfaction, condescension and constipation as Mittens:

  • Maguita NYC

    Don't forget the stony emotional level.

  • Groundloop

    Nice! But I'll reserve judgement until I hear The Big Stone Head's stump speech.

    "I don't really follow archaeology, but some of my good friends own universities!"

  • theotherone

    The movie would probably end up on Lifetime so you're probably aiming a bit high Dustin.

    Geoff Pierson or Christopher McDonald might do it... Or Mark Harmon.

  • RocksEaglesHats

    How about a log of shit? A big steaming log of human excrement?

    I'm sorry, I know that's a little beyond the pale- but after seeing that video that was released yesterday, I went from thinking of Romney as just kind of a dick who made a bunch of money and was running an historically lame campaign from President to the #1 person in the world I'd like to punch square in the face.

  • InternetMagpie

    And then there's Bizarro Mitt:

  • Eep! There goes my crush on Bruce.

  • InternetMagpie

    But he's BIZARRO. He's everything Mitt isn't! He's a palatable human being!

  • emmelemm

    He's filled with humor and eye-twinkling, which Mitt Romney has zero zero zero of.

  • JenVegas

    When Syfy makes a movie about Mitts being eaten by a genetically altered mutant hybrid fish/croc/mucus monster he will totally be played by The Chin and it will be hilarious.

  • Samantha Klein

    Oh man, Mr. Morris is PERFECT.

  • karen

    Gul Dukot is far too honest and straightforward

  • Purplejebus

    Let's hold off on the assuming he's gonna lose. Never underestimate the amount of rascist stupidity there still is in this country. Have you already forgotten, the drooling masses elected G W twice?

  • comfortable madness

    So if I don't vote Obama I'm racist? Makes sense if you're a complete asshole.

  • Blake

    No, but if you do then you're a Pinko / Muslim terrorist...

  • Archie Leach

    It means that if you don't vote for Obama you're a total dipshit that you'd vote against your own economic interest.

    If YOU are gazillionaire then discount this posting.

  • Miley'$ Viru$

    Whew! Thank goodness. For a second there I was worried I might be voting against my own interests!

  • Blake

    Only once actually... 2000 belonged to Gore.

  • tamatha_uhmelmahaye

    A Deep Space Nine reference? I love it!

  • Whoa, definitely Zach Morris's dad! Someone call him on his gigantic phone ASAP!

  • Elfrieda

    How amazing would a Romney/Zach Morris' dad ticket have been? *sigh*

  • Miley's Virus

    No Guy Smiley?
    Nice suit, great head of hair, head full of cotton and somebody's hand jammed up his ass controlling all action.

  • Guy Smiley

    My hair is way better than Mitt's

  • googergieger

    Winner, Miley's Virusaaaaaaaarrruuuuuuhhhh!

  • Guest


  • msjennijennjenn

    I'd go with Ted Danson, though Peter Gallagher does bear a striking resemblance.

  • pajiba

    Ted Danson! Of course.

  • Lipton

    No. Absolutely not. Sandy Cohen is the antithesis of all that Mitt Romney represents. And Peter Gallagher has more personality in his eyebrows then the Mitt-bot has in his entire being.

    Mr. Fantastic, though, has some potential. Because if there's anyone who could tie himself into a metaphorical and rhetorical pretzel it's our man Mitt.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Never mind Romney, Zach Morris' dad could play David Letterman

  • I'd go with Ted Danson or Henry Winkler.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Joe Piscopo

  • InternetMagpie

    Oh man, Romney would totally want to kill his daughter, then save her, then lose her, then declare war on all of Bajor because he didn't get his way.

  • Guest

    I'm shuddering in a corner and canna even joke about this. Yet.

  • Blake

    What "Fall"? He's gonna be a two term president.

  • Jezzer

    Only if those two terms are "elitist" and "out-of-touch."

  • Bert_McGurt

    I'm assuming the "fall" is the beat that Mitt appears to be dropping in that header photo.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Coffee...everywhere...dear god somebody call for help, it's a calamity, there'! Everywhere!
    You owe me a new keyboard, and everything else.

  • Siege

    Gul Dukot has far too much personality.

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