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The Films of 2012: Miscellaneous Important Statistical Data

By Eric D. Snider | Seriously Random Lists | January 2, 2013 | Comments ()


Top-Movies-2012-copy.jpg

Shortest movie: A Cat in Paris, 64 minutes

Longest movie: Cloud Atlas, 172 minutes

Shortest title: (tie) Ted, 360, ATM

Longest title: The Man Who Shook the Hand of Vicente Fernandez

Least enjoyable good movie: Amour

Most enjoyable bad movie: Lockout

Movies in which Spin Doctors' "Two Princes" makes an appearance: Wanderlust, Jeff, Who Lives at Home

Movies in which a man puts his fingers in another's man mouth: 21 Jump Street, American Reunion, The Three Stooges, Holy Motors

Movies in which a girl's record collection is very important to her: Rock of Ages, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Movies in which archery is prominent: The Avengers, Brave, The Hunger Games, Moonrise Kingdom

R-rated comedies set in the Boston area about raunchy, pot-smoking losers who were famous in the '80s and who disrupt their closest associates' lives, and in which there are numerous celebrity cameos and jokes about the washed-up cast of Diff'rent Strokes: That's My Boy, Ted

Movies about male dancers set in south Florida: Magic Mike, Step Up Revolution

Movies in which a woman is unaware that her nipple is sticking out of her shirt: The Campaign, 2 Days in New York, The Impossible

Movies in which the size of a young boy's penis is discussed: Klown, 2 Days in New York

Movies with supernatural elements in which key scenes take place in a Costco: The Watch, The Apparition

Movies in which someone vomits during a public performance, and then sees video of the incident go viral on YouTube: Pitch Perfect, Here Comes the Boom

Movies in which someone falls through the ice on a frozen pond: Rust and Bone, Rise of the Guardians, Skyfall

Movies in which slavery is depicted and decried: Lincoln, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Cloud Atlas, Django Unchained

Movies in which human teeth are sold, collected, or otherwise harvested: Les Misérables, Cloud Atlas, Rise of the Guardians

Movies with confusing and possibly interchangeable subtitles: The Raid: Redemption, Resident Evil: Retribution, Silent Hill: Revelation, Underworld: Awakening

Movies whose titles are homages or references to past horror films: Hitchcock, Frankenweenie, Hotel Transylvania

Killer movies: Kill List, Killer Joe, Killing Them Softly

Sleepy movies: Sleepwalk with Me, Sleep Tight, Sleepless Night

Home movies: House at the End of the Street, Safe House, The Cabin in the Woods, Silent House, Jeff, Who Lives at Home, The House I Live In, Casa de Mi Padre

Colorful movies: Red Tails, Red Dawn, Red Lights, Red Hook Summer, The Grey, The Odd Life of Timothy Green, The Woman in Black, Snow White and the Huntsman, Blue Like Jazz, The Oranges

Movies whose titles are complete sentences: Here Comes the Boom, The Dark Knight Rises, God Bless America, Sleepwalk with Me, That's My Boy, Think Like a Man, This Is 40, This Means War, This Must Be the Place

Movies that sound like they are about baseball: Pitch Perfect, Playing for Keeps, Trouble with the Curve

Movies whose titles are just somebody's name: Alex Cross, Jack Reacher, John Carter, Anna Karenina, Ruby Sparks, Bernie, Hitchcock, Lincoln, Marley, Ted

This and that movies: Robot & Frank, Chico & Rita, Rust and Bone, Wagner & Me, Jack and Diane, Celeste and Jesse Forever, Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

Counting movies: One for the Money, 2 Days in New York, The Three Stooges, Paranormal Activity 4, The Five-Year Engagement, 6 Month Rule, Seven Psychopaths

Movies on the rise: The Dark Knight Rises, Rise of the Guardians, Moonrise Kingdom

Manly movies: Think Like a Man, Man on a Ledge, Searching for Sugar Man, Mansome, The Man with the Iron Fists, The Man Who Shook the Hand of Vicente Fernandez, The Amazing Spider-Man

Movies in which actor Irrfan Khan says the name "Richard Parker," who is another character in the movie: The Amazing Spider-Man, Life of Pi

Movies in which the villain was born in a prison and now pursues a relentless course against a pillar-of-the-community protagonist: The Dark Knight Rises, Les Misérables

Movies in which John Goodman swept through the place, did a couple scenes, and instantly improved the film by at least 20%: Argo, Trouble with the Curve, Flight

Movies in which a man receives an HJ from a lady: Hyde Park on Hudson, The Master, On the Road

Best threats from generally non-intimidating actors: "If you insult me again, I will cut your face off and wear it over my own." -- Matthew McConaughey, Killer Joe; "Touch my friends again and I'll blind you." -- Logan Lerman, The Perks of Being a Wallflower; "I mean to beat you to death and drink your blood from a boot." -- Tom Cruise, Jack Reacher




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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Paul

    Another for "Movies in which a man puts his fingers in another’s man mouth" in Cloud Atlas, while attempting to induce vomiting in the cabin on the boat during the storm.

  • Buck Forty

    I realise archery movies were big this year, but you're stretching a long bow to include 'Paranormal Activity 4' as a counting movie. Unlike the others, the 4 is just a denominator...

  • Uriah_Creep

    This is completely off-topic, but I see that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are pregnant. Guess what we're going to be reading about on the interwebs for the next year? And perhaps the Mayans were right after all: this child was surely conceived on December 21st, 2012.

    Despite this tragic news, try to have a Happy New Year.

  • TimothyKB

    If you change it to people fall through ice you can add The Dark Knight Rises

  • Maguita NYC

    - Shortest longest movie,
    - Least enjoyable good movie, AND
    - Most enjoyable bad movie,

    - R-rated comedy-esque adventure-type movie about raunchy HGH abuser-losers who were famous in the ’80s,

    - Movie about which the stretch of old-men pendulous balls is at length (pun intended) discussed here on Pajiba,

    - Killer movie, or rather kill them all movie,

    - Movie in which we all wished John Goodman swept through the place, did a couple scenes, and instantly improved the film by at least 20%

    - Movie in which men give each other hand jobs, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT REAL MEN DO:

    ***********************THE EXPENDABLES 2***************************

    FUCK YEAH. http://www.pajiba.com/film_rev...

    Thank you Pajiba for yet another amazing, entertaining, and all-around great year in sexy geeky gossip. This year, I got to participate, not just lurk.

    Happy New Year to all!

  • L.O.V.E.

    The whole "ATM" series is great, especially "ATM 78: The Danger Zone". I had no idea there was a theatrical release, though.

    (does IMDB search)

    Nevermind. NOT the same movie. But it does look just as shitty (wink wink).

    Can I get a rim shot?

    No?

    Barkeep, another shot of Don Julio please.
    Happy New Year everybody!

  • PDamian

    *Ba-dum tush*

    And a shot of the good stuff: Herradura!

  • Keith Beshwate

    Movies in which archery is prominent: We Need To Talk About Kevin

  • Xulux

    And Snow White and the Huntsman. There are probably others too.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Is anyone else just getting the front page over and over again when trying to access older pages?

  • Groundloop

    I just checked and the answer is yep, using 3 different browsers. I don't know when the page numbers were added to the "Next Page" button, but I'm guessing the problem started when that was added.

  • Ley

    Well, my biggest takeaway from this list is that I suddenly have the urge to watch and not watch 2 Days in New York, if that means anything.

    Also, happy new year, Pajiba!

  • They should have John Goodman pull a Samuel L. Jackson and tell someone to "shut the fuck up" in as many movies as he can. He doesn't have to say that because he's awesome no matter what. That's just what I most closely associate him with.

  • Max

    Life of Pi also featured human teeth

  • BWeaves

    Movies in which someone vomits during a public performance, and then sees video of the incident go viral on YouTube.

    How about real life in which someone vomits during a public performance, and then sees video of the incident go viral on YouTube. Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga.

  • Gordon McAlpin

    "Movies in which someone falls through the ice on a frozen pond" -- You can add (spoiler warning obviously) Lawless to that.

  • alanasays

    Movies where the plot hinges on a girls sewing something together with red thread to make sure a wish comes true at sunrise: Ted, Brave

  • Carlito

    "Longest title: The Man Who Shook the Hand of Vicente Fernandez"

    I feel like movies are given long titles to purposefully mess with marketing-types, and I love them for it. Impromptu SRL!
    Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
    Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
    Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
    To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

  • denesteak

    Man, I fucking loved To Wong Foo.

  • How about:

    The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?
    How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
    A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
    It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
    The Englishman who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain
    Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex*
    Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles
    Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines or How I Flew from London to Paris in 25 Hours 11 Minutes
    The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It

    *But Were Afraid to Ask

  • Movies in which a girl's record collection is very important to her:

    You missed The Loved Ones. That film is nothing without the crazy girl's obsession with one CD in her collection.

  • Oh I see. Pointing out other titles that fit the categories is upsetting to someone on the site.

  • Buck Forty

    I sometimes hit the downvote when I mean to hit 'reply'. Yes, my fingers are that big (I'm using an iPad). I usually then just upvote them as well to balance out the Pajiba universe. Maybe I should upvote them twice just to compensate for hurt feelings.

  • Tinkerville

    Psst! If you just click the downvote button a second time it will take away the downvote you gave them, and all is well.

    Sincerely,
    A fellow big fingered lass.

  • Buck Forty

    Good to know, thanks!

    Sent from my iPad

  • Mitchell Hundred

    For "Movies whose titles are just somebody's name", you forgot 'Prometheus'.

  • PDamian

    Okay, now I'm bummed. After seeing the list of "manly" movies without a corresponding "womanly" list, I went looking for the women. There were only two that I could find: The Woman in Black and Woman, Thou Art Loosed! The list gets slightly longer if you include titles in which women are called something other than women (Damsels in Distress, Girl in Progress) or defined by their relationships (Your Sister's Sister, The Well-Digger's Daughter). Dammit.

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