The Deadest Eyes in Hollywood: A Seriously Random List

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (45)

News came earlier today that Aaron Sorkin is set to cast Olivia Munn in his latest series. What does that mean for us? It means we are not yet freed from the cold dead shark eyes of Olivia Munn staring back at us from our televisions.

Sadly, Munn is not alone in this trait. Most people you come across have some light behind their faces, some semblance of personality or general cognitive presence. Some do not. And sometimes, it’s perfectly acceptable in the world of entertainment to cast actors with lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.

With that, I present to you the deadest eyes in Hollywood.

Katie Holmes

Olivia Munn

Audrina Patridge

Channing Tatum

Taylor Momsen

Gwyneth Paltrow (in her defense, her eyes always look like that because she’s always judging you)

Vin Diesel

Taylor Lautner

Kristen Stewart

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I assume you mean "black" eyes in a hollow, empty void kind of way and not eyes that are black. My soul feels cold after looking at these.

Posted by: Jo at April 26, 2011 2:04 PM

Well said. I agree with every single person on this list. Kudos! Especially Audrina. Why, oh why must we be subjected to this person. I mean besides her boobs. Why, why, why?!

Posted by: ChaCha at April 26, 2011 2:06 PM

I agree with all but Taylor Lautner, whose eyes seem to scream "I will butcher you and your whole family and there's no one who can stop me."

Posted by: Fredo at April 26, 2011 2:07 PM

Really, Fredo? I always thought Lautner's eyes said "I'm just patiently waiting for someone to smack this fucking smirk off my face."

Also, how is Keanu not on this list? He's the dark lord and master of these folks, as far as I'm concerned.

Posted by: Exploding Head Syndrome at April 26, 2011 2:10 PM

Kirsten Stewart, jeepers. She had her soul sucked out by...well, can't be Lautner. Or Pattinson. I dunno. A tree on the Twilight set? Or it got turned into the peroxide that colors that one guy's hair from the movie? SOULLESS.

Posted by: Figgy at April 26, 2011 2:15 PM

Isaiah Washington

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4037516032/nm0913460

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 26, 2011 2:17 PM

I'd say Cameron Diaz, but she has the CrAzZZy eyesss

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 26, 2011 2:21 PM

I fully expected Jaws to appear at the bottom of this list with a Robert Shaw Indianapolis story reference.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at April 26, 2011 2:24 PM

Aaaaw Charming Potato hasn't got dead eyes. He has eyes that say he'll do sexual things to my dead body but they're not dead.

Posted by: Nadine at April 26, 2011 2:29 PM

I like Olivia Munn. You take that back!

Seriously.

I mean it.

Ok...in all fairness I just want to sleep with her.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at April 26, 2011 2:34 PM

Easily noticed on any "star" by the 'partial gaze upwards' as if God is giving them a sign that their life is about to end.

Posted by: Matthew at April 26, 2011 2:36 PM

i think vin is on this list in error.

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2011 2:44 PM

Vin Diesel? Sacrilege! He has expressive eyes! It's just that he only has one expression.

Posted by: Royalewithcheese at April 26, 2011 2:48 PM

I would add ScarJo to this list. I find her cold, dead eyes to be particularly frightening.

Posted by: Fi at April 26, 2011 2:52 PM

Olivia Munn has two facial expressions. Dead behind the eyes and bitchy with a side of dead behind the eyes.

Also, this.
http://image.blingee.com/images16/content/output/000/000/000/568/446380510_1503530.gif?4

Posted by: MeganTheFirst at April 26, 2011 2:53 PM

Audrina has the deadest eyes on the planet. Case Closed.

Posted by: TajMc at April 26, 2011 2:57 PM

At first I was like, "WTF is a Raccoon doing on this list?"
Then I read Taylor Momsen's name... *My mistake indeed*

Posted by: Lisa Bee at April 26, 2011 2:58 PM

Hmmm I'm gonna agree that Vin Diesel doesn't really have Dead Eyes. Dude has ANGRY EYES. Always. Permanently full of rage.

Posted by: Figgy at April 26, 2011 3:02 PM

Really, Fredo? I always thought Lautner's eyes said "I'm just patiently waiting for someone to smack this fucking smirk off my face.

Normally I'd agree. But that pic looks like every serial killer's mug shot by GQ.

Posted by: Fredo at April 26, 2011 3:04 PM

Well to be fair Taylor Momsen looks like this only because of the make up and the whole persona. Once she smiles normally she is full of life and just a regular girl

Posted by: YesPlease at April 26, 2011 3:05 PM

All of the Kardasians as well

Posted by: Dr Turkelton at April 26, 2011 3:08 PM

In Channing Tatum’s case don’t confuse dead eyes with clueless eyes.

And poor Taylor Lautner, his eyes look like he barely escaped down syndrome.

Posted by: Pookie at April 26, 2011 3:13 PM

Eyes like the Other Mother uses in Coraline....spooky.

Posted by: llp at April 26, 2011 3:42 PM

I full out guffawed at my desk for Olivia Munn's picture. I mean, she looks like she's trying so hard ... and failing so miserably.

Posted by: nosio at April 26, 2011 3:43 PM

How does anyone look at the picture of Paltrow and see dead eyes? Seriously.

Posted by: KateMC at April 26, 2011 3:47 PM

What? Oh, ok.

Posted by: The Other Mother at April 26, 2011 3:48 PM

Lautner has beady, rat eyes. You can barely even see them behind his vaguely Cro-Magnon brow, so how can you tell if they're dead?

Posted by: ed newman at April 26, 2011 4:04 PM

Taylor Lautner is SOOOOO NOT CUTE. I will never understand his appeal.

Posted by: Mel C. at April 26, 2011 4:13 PM

You forgot Britney Spears, who has been dead inside for a while now.

Posted by: daria at April 26, 2011 4:20 PM

So, which one is most Anti-Crazy-eyes Bachmann?

Posted by: Jerry at April 26, 2011 4:36 PM

Taylor Werewolf Boy looks like he eats babies.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at April 26, 2011 6:52 PM

I always felt Taylor's look said; even though I'm gay, I'm still a tough guy.

That said, my nominee:
http://egotastic.com/2011/04/jennifer-lawrence-does-her-best-to-be-sexy-in-gq-photoshoot/

Posted by: Protoguy at April 26, 2011 7:03 PM

Holly Madison - the deadest eyes in the morgue. She's frightening, her expression is so dead.

And Gwyneth doesn't so much have dead eyes, as self-satisfeyed.

Posted by: BoatGirl at April 26, 2011 7:05 PM

what about classic dead eyes like robert mitchum, or al pacino, or christopher walken?

Posted by: idleprimate at April 26, 2011 7:36 PM

I thought that the lifeless wonk gaze of one Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan would've been obvious. I'd say the same of Megan Fox, too. You know, it's hard to tell authentically because it's all colour contacts and opiates in Hollywood. Some would say that Jonathan Rhys-Meyers has bedroom eyes, but I'm not one of them and while ten years ago some would have argued that Benicio del Toro was smouldering, the shock of siring Kimberly Stewart's baby barely seems to register on the guy. Lisa Marie Presley's scieno-stare is so offputting as to make turning towards Michael Jackson an attractive alternative and as far as one of her exes goes, you can't really expect that a man with that hair, a man who would name his son Kal-El and build himself a burial pyramid to look any other way.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at April 26, 2011 8:03 PM

Nicole Zombie Kidman.

And Katie Holmes IS DOA -- not just her eyes. She's like...re-animated. Night of the Living Katie Homes. Invasion of the Katie Holmes. 28 Katie Holmes Later.

Brrrr.

Posted by: klingonfree at April 26, 2011 10:46 PM

I disagree with putting Gwyneth Paltrow on this list. She may be unlikeable (dunno bc I don't know her), but I've seen life behind her eyes.

YesPlease, I agree with you. Taylor Momsen used to look like a sweet normal girl until she started dressing like that.

Posted by: KC at April 26, 2011 11:11 PM

YesPlease:

Are you new?

Posted by: Erin S at April 26, 2011 11:55 PM

Audrina's situation is just unfortunate because her irises do not touch her bottom lid.

Posted by: Other Julie at April 27, 2011 12:29 AM

ScarJo? Bonus points for always having her mouth hanging open.

http://www.celebitchy.com/151763/scarlett_johanssons_latest_dg_ad_lovely_or_corpsey/

She and Katie Holmes could give each other a run for their money.

Posted by: Elfrieda at April 27, 2011 4:33 AM

Kristen Stewart wins this. Her eyes are dead.

Posted by: g at April 27, 2011 10:18 AM

Completely disagree with Gwyneth's inclusion on this list. For politicians, Mitt Romney would be my top pick - totally dead behind the eyes.

Posted by: Betty Blue at April 27, 2011 1:14 PM

I agree that Paltrow doesn't belong on the list at all. And if she does, that picture sure doesn't prove it.

Posted by: jimbob at April 27, 2011 1:33 PM

Never thought I'd see a list that made Paltrow look vaguely sympathetic. Her eyes aren't dead: they're saying 'We both know you can't afford me, but I'll humour you.'

Posted by: PaulB at April 27, 2011 2:10 PM

Gotta agree with g. Stewart. And that lazy thing she thinks resembles a smile.

Posted by: Protoguy at April 28, 2011 3:27 AM

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The Deadest Eyes in Hollywood: A Seriously Random List

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