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The Coolest Spaceships in Movies and TV

Seriously (Not So) Random List / Seth Freilich

Seriously Random Lists | May 7, 2009 | Comments (121)

Earlier this week, Dustin e-mails me. He says to me, he says, that he was going to do a Seriously Random List on the very topic we’re here to discuss today. However, he decided that, and I quote, he was “way out of [his] depth,” and so the task was handed over to me. Coolest Spaceships in TV and the movies — it’s been done ten times over, all over the internet. But with the new Star Trek dropping tonight, no time like the present to do it again.

So, what makes a cool spaceship? There are lots of ways you could break this down. You can talk about the visuals and how cool they look. You can talk about the crazy, shitballs weaponry and how much havoc they can wreak. You can talk about infinite improbability drives, warp coils, gravity drives and hyperdrive propulsion systems. Cultural importance, mainstream versus hard scifi, whether they come with a wookie or a depressed android, blah blah blah. At the end of the day, there are certain ships that just rise above all this. In your gut, you just know they’re fucking cool. They make you want to have one right away, or they make you want to run from them with no delay.

Now I did consider breaking this down into two sub-lists, the larger-class ships and the smaller yachts and personal ships, but fuck that. Not only is that just a smidge too geeky for me, the simple truth is that cool is cool, and if the little ones can’t compete with the big ones for the ultimate title, they should just buzz the fuck off.

I should mention that the best spaceship in the world ever, in my humble opinion, has yet to actually make it to either the big or small screen. Gay Deceiver (from Heinlein’s The Number of the Beast), despite the “Gay” first name, is beyond fucking rad. Also, here are honorable mentions to the USS Swinetrek (“The Muppet Show” — piiiiiigs … iiiiin … spaaaaaaace!) and Eagle-5 (Spaceballs). Finally, I know that I have left many off of this list (Slave-1, the Borg Cube and the Battlestar were the hardest to cut), and I have no doubt the geeks and nerds will come streaming out of the woodwork to debate and chastise. Giddeeup — let’s get to it.

10. Gunstar (The Last Starfighter). It’s kinda ugly. It’s kinda dumpy. But motherfucker can fight.

gunstar.jpg

9. Shadow Battlecrab (“Babylon 5”). I’m not as familiar with “Babylon 5” as I should be, so I don’t know a ton about the Battlecrabs. But I know they’re alive. And powerful as fuck. And that they scare the god damned bajeesus outta me.

battlecrab.jpg

8. Thunder Road (Explorers). A spaceship I could’ve built in my garage as a kid? Fuck yeah, dude.

thunder-road.jpg

7. USS Enterprise, NCC-1701-A (“Star Trek”). Sure, the NCC-1701-D model from “The Next Generation” is purty, and the later E is a bit more tough looking. But even though I don’t particularly care for the Original Series, there’s something to be said for the simplicity of the ship (and a ship captained by William F’ing Shatner, no less).

ncc-1701-a.jpg

6. Narn Cruiser (“Babylon 5”). This ship’s got friggin tattoos, man!

narn-cruiser.jpg

5. Mothership (Close Encounters of the Third Kind). The ship talks in music, and has a bass note that rips.

mothership.jpg

4. Romulan Warbird (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”). This ship is just mean. It’ll find you in the back alley and do bad, bad things to you.

warbird.jpg

3. Executor-Class Star Dreadnought (a.k.a. Super Star Destroyer) (The Empire Strikes Back). You and your regular ol’ Star Destroyers can get fucking bent. Executors are the real deal, son. I mean, hell, we can’t even do the sucker justice with the limited amount of column-width we’ve got here.

super-star-destroyer.jpg

2. The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars). It’s the goddamned Millennium Falcon, for crying out loud. If I have to explain myself to you, you’re already dead to me.

millennium-falcon.jpg

1. Serenity (“Firefly”). Was there any question? There shouldn’t have been. Because yeah, the Falcon rips, the Dreadnought’s fucking gigantic, the Narn Cruiser’s pretty, etc. But Serenity’s just got that extra something. It’s not the biggest, not the baddest, not the prettiest, not the fastest. But it’s the goddamned coolest.

serenity.jpg


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Comments

Do you know how I know you are gay?

Posted by: MRod at May 7, 2009 3:32 PM

I prefer spaceships that can go from suck to blow. But I'd take a Battlecrab any day of the week.

...those two sentences can be connected in many fascinating ways.

Posted by: Julie at May 7, 2009 3:34 PM

I am going to have a fangirlgasm over The Number of the Beast love. It is my favorite of the Heinlein books, slightly edging out Friday and The Cat Who Walks Through Walls. I named a cat Pixel. The Last Starfighter is an underappreciated gem. I had a thing for Robert Preston. That voice!

Posted by: slower lower at May 7, 2009 3:38 PM

Slave-1 was always my favorite Star Wars ship. Did Bobofett fly that thing standing up?

I'd also like to give props to all the Aliens ships. Does their lander count as a spaceship, or was it suborbital? And yes, I am in fact a nerd.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 7, 2009 3:41 PM

Do you know how I know you are gay?

Actually it's 'mechasexual'.

Also, I love how teeny-tiny the SSD has to be in order to make column width.

Posted by: twig at May 7, 2009 3:41 PM

I was getting all fired up to chastise you for forgetting Serenity as I read down this list.

Good on ya, Seth. She is indeed the coolest of the bunch.

Posted by: Mandacat at May 7, 2009 3:42 PM

I've always been partial to the Klingon Bird of Prey. Not fancy, no frills, just tear your head off and shit down your throat, mean.

Posted by: admin at May 7, 2009 3:43 PM

MRod Do you know how I know you are gay?

You've seen Seth have sexual congress with another man, with no money involved, or drunk bets invoked?

Posted by: cockroach at May 7, 2009 3:44 PM

I am going to go with a ship from the end of History of the World Part I. They were previewing what History of the Word Part II was going to be (never made), one part was Hitler on Ice (thought it was funny) but the best was Jews in Space. It was the Star of David Battle Cruiser and it looked really bad ass and it seemed to have a serious amount of firepower.

Posted by: richmac at May 7, 2009 3:53 PM

Dude, no love for Galactica?!

Posted by: Lauri at May 7, 2009 3:55 PM

Two words: Cylon raiders.

Posted by: Tammy at May 7, 2009 3:56 PM

It’s not the biggest, not the baddest, not the prettiest, not the fastest. But it’s the goddamned coolest.

clunk

"What was that?"

Speaking of scifi books that need to be made into movies, first I totally agree that Friday should be made immediately, starring Christina Hendricks. She's not a perfect physical match for the character, but she needs a film, and I need to see her kick much ass.

Second: Poul Anderson's The Star Fox. Ultra mega super cool battle scenes and a streamlined story that would be easy to convert into a film.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 7, 2009 4:00 PM

Going on pure aesthetics, the Enterprise is the most beautiful. The Super Star Destroyer is the most awesome one.

Serenity looks like a turd.

Posted by: figgy at May 7, 2009 4:01 PM

I prefer to take Battlecrabs before I go from suck to blow?

Battlecrabs blow...without a topical cream, small comb, and a razor.

Suck. Blow. Crabs. Julie.

Welcome back from Florida Julie! :D

Posted by: PissBoy at May 7, 2009 4:05 PM

Serenity looks like a turd.

I will stifle you like a fart in church, figgy.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 7, 2009 4:05 PM

Where's Jay, there is an obvious omission and I'm sure he'll have a Brit-Pop lyric that will best express it. Maybe Costello. But my brain is too fried from finals to defend the little blue box right now.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 7, 2009 4:08 PM

I am upset that there is a lack of Farscape on this list, nerd wanna-be.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at May 7, 2009 4:09 PM

Usually, I have a few disagreements with these lists, not this time, you hit the sweet spot Seth.

Posted by: George at May 7, 2009 4:09 PM

I prefer spaceships that can go from suck to blow.

And once again I am reminded why I stalk you, Julie.

Also, you and me was gonna have to have words, Seth, if Serenity hadn't a been on this list. And thank god she ain't one of them ships that falls right outta the sky, too.

Posted by: lizzieborden at May 7, 2009 4:12 PM

I hope you're not inferring that my name is synonymous with diseases of the genitalia, PissBoy. Because I will smash your face into a jelly.

Also, thank you! Happy belated birthday!

Posted by: Julie at May 7, 2009 4:13 PM

I am upset that there is a lack of Farscape on this list, nerd wanna-be.

Indeed. Moya wouldn't be bad, but I'd still put my money on Talyn.
http://photomaniak.com/upload/out.php/i32600_FarscapeTalyn.jpg

Posted by: branded at May 7, 2009 4:13 PM

Serenity looks like a turd.

no, figgy, she looks like a firefly. duh.

Posted by: lizzieborden at May 7, 2009 4:13 PM

Actually, Serenity looks like a baby dinosaur with birth defects. I still love it though.

Posted by: Julie at May 7, 2009 4:16 PM

I'm with OR. I like my spaceships with 900 year old Time Lords in them.

Posted by: Courtney at May 7, 2009 4:17 PM

Serenity was the first ship where you actually knew what was where -- for the entire ship. All the others show you a cockpit here, a transporter bay there...but there rest could be altered by whichever writer happened to be playing with it. Serenity was real.

Posted by: Louise at May 7, 2009 4:17 PM

Serenity is the greatest jolopy in the verse .

Posted by: gilp at May 7, 2009 4:20 PM

Serenity looks like a dutch-oven fucked a T-Rex who drank too much and gave the baby Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

And no Julie i was just rearranging your sentences to be "connected in many fascinating ways," with a tad of artistic license thrown in.

Posted by: PissBoy at May 7, 2009 4:21 PM

sssssssssshhhhhhhhhh, cos, remember Stormship Troopers? Just make the movie in your head, it'll be so much better that way.

Posted by: slower lower at May 7, 2009 4:22 PM

Oh my god! I just figured it out. Serenity looks like Tokka from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze.

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/muppet/images/f/fd/Tokka.jpg

Mama?

Posted by: Julie at May 7, 2009 4:22 PM

The Bebop.

Posted by: Snath at May 7, 2009 4:23 PM

Heh, PissBoy, I like your description MUCH better.

Posted by: Julie at May 7, 2009 4:23 PM

What, you were the fake Jay, Rhyme? Givin me shots here.

It's been a long six days at work, and my weekend's compromised. I'm ready to murder. Anybody.

But, yes, The TARDIS certainly wins out over anything from that "big pile o' shit" Babylon 5. The fucker simultaneously exists in two dimensions.

(Ha! Non-musical reference!)

But it’s the goddamned coolest.


The Daughter of Falcon is not The Falcon.

I'm a really big fan of the A-Wing. It makes for such a sturdy, easily-handled toy too. Scrappy little girl.

Posted by: Jay at May 7, 2009 4:28 PM

Ooh! The SDF-1.

Posted by: Snath at May 7, 2009 4:28 PM

Your choice of the Romulan Warbird over the Klingon Bird of Prey is absolutely unforgivable!

The Bird of Prey looks should be number one on that list.

You can probably also put the Giant Luxury Liner from the Fifth Element. Other than that, good choices, my man, good choices.

Oh yeah, and here's a question for all geeks out there: couldn't we put the Death Star here? I mean, I know it's classified as a "Battle Station", and I know it's not a moon, but it does actually fly around, doesn'it? Shouldn't it be a ship then?

Posted by: JPGUY13 at May 7, 2009 4:30 PM

Not one for the top ten, but I just have to throw out Lexx from the series of the same name. Nothing like having a ship that looks like a giant bug and feels the need to eat a world or two every once in a while.

Of course it would have to include Zev/Xev (either one) to keep the captain company.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at May 7, 2009 4:32 PM

it does actually fly around, doesn'it?

It does indeed. It had to travel to Alderaan and Yavin.

"What's it do?"
"It does death. It does death, buddy!"

Posted by: Jay at May 7, 2009 4:33 PM

It...it really doesn't.

Posted by: figgy at May 7, 2009 4:34 PM

The Bebop.

Swordfish II.

Posted by: twig at May 7, 2009 4:35 PM

Going to throw out some serious Star Wars expanded universe love here- but Hapan Battle Cruiser anyone? Not sure a picture of it exists, but picture A gigantic flattened orb/donut shape, and a rotating wheel of death of alternating Ion and Turbolaser cannons. It'd be like a pinwheel of epic destruction. I mean yeah, an SSD would absolutely wreck it- but then again an SSD is the biggest ship in the Imperial fleet. And can anyone tell me how many SSD's were made (with names)?

Posted by: RyanH at May 7, 2009 4:35 PM

The Bebop.

Hell yes! I don't know if animated ships count, but damn the Bebop was cool. High-five, Snath!

Posted by: figgy at May 7, 2009 4:37 PM

Snath and twig:

The Bebop. You beat me to the suggestion. Damn the phone for ringing!

Posted by: DoubleH at May 7, 2009 4:41 PM

Thanks for continuing with the best possible edition, twig! The Swordfish II is definitely the coolest little red ship with an enormous fucking plasma cannon ever conceived.

Posted by: Snath at May 7, 2009 4:41 PM

The TARDIS. Hands down. You can land almost anywhere, it blends in (if you have the chameleon circuit working), it goes through time AND space, and it's bigger on the inside. (Besides, Serenity is always falling apart. It'd be nice to tool around the galaxy in something that's in good condition. That's right, I went there.)

Another good choice: The Heart of Gold

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at May 7, 2009 4:43 PM

Spaceballs 1.

Posted by: figgy at May 7, 2009 4:43 PM

Snath

It really is built to be utterly sexycool. Makes me feel bad for those little X-wings that seem to be really good at a) crashing and b) crashing and exploding.

Posted by: twig at May 7, 2009 4:46 PM

Hells yes, Snath, no offense to the Serenity crew, but the Bebop would be my number one. Also: Spike...mmmmmm...

Posted by: s. pisaster at May 7, 2009 4:50 PM

How about Dash Rendar's Outrider? Or Prince Xizor's Virago?

Shut up, I liked Shadows of the Empire a lot.

Posted by: Snath at May 7, 2009 4:53 PM

figgy, you dissapoint me. It Blew up an entire planet! I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Posted by: admin at May 7, 2009 4:55 PM

Serenity was inspired by the Falcon, thus the Falcon should be #1. Plus when it pulls that diving loop thing in Empire for the first time you kind of want to marry it.

You forgot the Imperial Shuttle. I wanted one when I was a kid.

I nominate the Nostromo from "Alien" and the Event Horizon from, well, "Event Horizon". Anyone that makes a scary ass crucifix shaped spaceship and sends it into a black hole is just ASKING for trouble. And the Nostromo was huge and besides the 1% for living quarters seemed to be made simply to house a multitude of clanking chains and dripping water.

Also. Old school BSG Vipers.

And Vader's Tie Fighter.

And Klingon Bird of Prey.

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 7, 2009 4:58 PM

Wait, which one?

And really, I'm not just saying Serenity is ugly because I don't like the show. But just looking at it? It's not nearly as cool as some of the others. I know the list isn't going by looks, but I was.

Posted by: figgy at May 7, 2009 4:58 PM

I second the Cylon Raider, Galactica, and Spaceball 1. I'd like to add the Borg Cube - it makes the Romluan warbird look like a refined mobster - cross the Cube and you're going to be staring in horror at the stump of your arm while zombie robots plug a heavy, badass, clicking and whirring attachment on before replacing one of your eyes with something painful looking.

Good call on Eagle 5 and the Enterprise D. Perhaps also the Excelsior?

Posted by: lordhelmet at May 7, 2009 4:59 PM

TARDIS TARDIS TARDIS. What other ship is around 900 years old and still flying?

Posted by: BWeaves at May 7, 2009 5:03 PM

When I first saw the post I thought, "That goddamn ship from that show Firefly is going to be on the list -- even though the show sucked, nobody watched it and it got cancelled."

Then, as I was scrolling down the list and didn't see it, I started to think that I might be wrong and that the people from this site didn't let me down (sometimes you like things just because nobody else does -- and you've the nerve to rail against hipster douchers).

But no. You put it in the #1 spot. You put it over the Millenium Falcon and the Enterprise. You put it over Boba Fett's ship Slave 1, which didn't even make the list. You put it over the cool space ship from 2001 Space Odyssey, which didn't even make the list.

Man, I'd love to bitch-slap you Seth. Climb out of Joss Whedon's ass and take a breath of fresh air.

Posted by: superasente at May 7, 2009 5:07 PM

but it does actually fly around, doesn'it?

I'm not sure that's the test. Earth flies around, too. That's an "orbit," different from an independently flying battle station, but what about comets and asteroids? They fly, too.

Oh, fine. It counts. But, like Achilles, that one little weakness makes all the difference between the Pantheon of Awesome and the worm farm.

I'd love to bitch-slap you Seth.

Stand in line, snuggie-rider. But Serenity is number 1. Learn to accept it.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 7, 2009 5:15 PM

For my money, the Event Horizon is a pretty scary and bad-ass ship...

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 7, 2009 5:28 PM

But the hands-down fucking scariest spaceship...

The tripod from War of the Worlds

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 7, 2009 5:31 PM

Sorry, but I don't see a '64 Chevy Malibu piloted by Emilio Estevez on this list...

Posted by: TheUpsetter at May 7, 2009 5:32 PM

I was starting to raise an eyebrow but you totally redeemed yourself with Serenity and Millenium Falcon. Well done.

Posted by: wandereraz at May 7, 2009 5:38 PM

Ditch the Narn, show Galactica some gorram respect and then you've got yourself a list.

Posted by: jon29 at May 7, 2009 5:55 PM

You forgot the Imperial Shuttle. I wanted one when I was a kid.

Now that was an ungainly toy. But nice.

Learn to accept it.

Hey, being a Browncoat's all about saying "fuck you, I won't do what ya told me!"

Kinda what being Han Solo and Chewbacca are all about too.

Plus when it pulls that diving loop thing in Empire for the first time you kind of want to marry it.

They flew the shit outta that thing in that movie, and it was broken.

I love Wash. I am Wash, but he's still the son of Solo's helm. Hell, it's like that guy who was saying "Blade Runner"'s full of tropes he's seen in countless other places. "Jackass" is a fantastic song, but "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue" was fantastic first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rnyWNoFb58

You need a new word. "Badass" can't encompass Han, Chewie and the Hunk O' Junk.

Posted by: Jay at May 7, 2009 6:12 PM

I love that you included the Thunder Road - misty, magic memories of a young River Phoenix.

I was trying to think of one of the stupidest spaceships ever (you know, for the imaginary conversations in my head), and I think I have to give it up for the ship from Battle Beyond the Stars. I could never decide if it looks like breasts or testicles. What more could you ask for?

Posted by: llp at May 7, 2009 6:35 PM

There's too much B5 in the list, and too little Galactica. And what the frakk is #8 supposed to be? It looks like a trash bin.

And don't start with Spaceballs. Two good jokes don't make a good movie. And that dumbass trailer with wings certainly isn't one of them.

Posted by: FabMaxMax at May 7, 2009 6:39 PM

I didn't have the honor of being the fake Jay, Jay. No, I really do appreciate the random song lyrics and references. Sometimes they make me seek out a song that I really enjoy.
I just called you in to defend the TARDIS more eloquently than I could've in my mental state. (The last two nights had been spent writing papers and studying as well as celebrating my birthday. So very little sleep was had)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 7, 2009 6:42 PM

This list cannot be taken seriously for it lacks the most kickass ship of all time: The USS Defiant

Posted by: Brandon at May 7, 2009 6:47 PM

Bite your tongue, FabMaxMax! Spaceballs kicks all kinds of ass. I mean, Dot, as voiced by Joan Rivers? Genius.

"He shot my hair!"

Classic.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 7, 2009 7:07 PM

I would have switched the Falcon and Serenity, but either way there's no doubt they're the top two. Needs more Viper Mk. 2 and Slave 1, though.

Posted by: James at May 7, 2009 7:08 PM

Come on, no TARDIS? Thing can travel in time, makes the coolest noise ever, and usually comes accessorised with a hot British man. Sure, it has no guns and no real defenses, but it's freaking ALIVE and if you can get it to open up you can destroy the Daleks, bring a man back to eternal life and be home in time for tea...

Posted by: rach at May 7, 2009 7:13 PM

The Satellite of Love!

Posted by: Cait at May 7, 2009 7:13 PM

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, did you just rank Serenity over the Falcon? My personal favorite is the Star Destroyer, but the Falcon made the Kessel Run in something or another about parsecs. And it's the Millennium Fucking Falcon.

Look, we all know you and your man-friend have a doubly remote hard-on for Firefly, but it's the Falcon, dude. It's the Falcon.

Posted by: Lucas at May 7, 2009 7:13 PM

Speaking of good ol' NCC-1701, the new Star Trek is running a cool 93% on the Tomatometer, with way over 100 reviews already in. I'm ... emotionally erect. Also physically.

Deep breath, paper bag, deep breath, paper bag [SNL sing-song voice] lowered expec-taaations, lowered expec-taaations, lowered expec-taaations....

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 7, 2009 7:14 PM

Serenity looks like a turd
'She may not look like much, but with a good mechanic she'll keep going forever'.

It's a pity we have to limit this to movie spaceships because I love Iain M Banks ones. Spaceships big enough to have cities and parks, even forests and lakes in them. With populations of millions or billions and capable of building daughter ships, each spaceship alone could have restarted civilisation. These were generation ships that you would actually enjoy living on.

Posted by: ChrisD at May 7, 2009 7:17 PM

Boo on no inclusion of the Borg Cube/ Resurrection ships or any living ships. The BSG ships were frakking cool. I'm sure there are some from movies I am forgetting, but Early's ship might even outpace Faye Valentine or Spike Speigel's personal ships.

But for my favorite ship, read the description below:

The XGP15A-II, christened the Outlaw Star by Gene Starwind and his crew, is "the fastest, most advanced ship in the galaxy." It was constructed by the Kei space pirate guild using connections with the Space Forces military. Powered by four plasma fusion Unsen engines and a powerful Münchhausen reactor for use with its "sub-ether" faster-than-light drive. In addition, it is a "grappler ship," a spaceship with manipulator arms modified for combat purposes. It is designed so that the Bio-Android Melfina, who was created by the scientist Gwen Khan, can link up with and control the navigational systems.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 7, 2009 7:18 PM

The ship from Dark City.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 7, 2009 7:21 PM

mork from ork's egg: i used to take my mom's pantyhose eggs and put my action figures in them and fly them around outer space (by the back fence).

i also used to give myself boobs with them.

Posted by: gp at May 7, 2009 7:21 PM

Awesome choice, Jackseppelin, I was going to say Outlaw Star if no one else did.

Posted by: Snath at May 7, 2009 7:22 PM

Outlaw Star. Like Cowboy Bebop's hyperactive kid brother who'd been dropped a couple of times as a baby.

Posted by: twig at May 7, 2009 7:22 PM

No NSEA Protector? It has Alan Rickman on it!

Posted by: jM at May 7, 2009 7:22 PM

... and man, if we're going full on into anime mode, then I'll throw out the Sol Bianca. The ship that only likes chicks. With a hot chick cyborg linked-in pilot. And a laser array. And a sniper rifle that can hit Earth from space. And a drunken second-in-command who's the best dogfighter in the universe.

And a computer system that mimics an Alphonse Mucha painting. Style. Grace. Substance. Hotness. Sol Bianca

Posted by: twig at May 7, 2009 7:25 PM

Talk about a list bound to make the fen argue for days. There were entire cons devoted to this shit in the 70's and 80's, and the amount of sci fi then was half what it is today.

All you can do is make your own personal picks. Personally, being an obnoxious fan boy of Art Deco, Art Nouveau, and 50-60's modernism, I'm kinda fated to love the Discovery of 2001, Heart of Gold of HGTTG, the redesigned Enterprise of the 80's, & the Enterprise-E.

I still love the sheer realness of the Eagle transporter from Space 1999 along with the series design aesthetics. And from only looks - I loved the Starfighter from Buck Rogers too.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at May 7, 2009 7:46 PM

Honorable mention to the ship from Flight of the Navigator.

Posted by: branded at May 7, 2009 8:20 PM

Yeah, I can't believe some of the junk that you ranked over the TARDIS, although "ranking" is not even the right word, seeing as how you completely ignored it.

And I'm a Firefly fan, but no way does Serenity supplant the Falcon. I realize you didn't want to go with the Falcon as an obvious number one, but there are some truths that simply can't be denied, and the Falcon's supremacy is one of those truths.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 7, 2009 9:04 PM

Wouldja look at how many comments there are? If there was ever any doubt about the core makeup of the Pajiba audience...

Also, I'm with Brandon. The Defiant is the hot rod of Starfleet. It's small, fast and severely over-armed. And it has a cloaking device. That's the ship I wanna fly.

But Serenity is the ship I want to live in. Of course it's Number One.

Posted by: Jerce at May 7, 2009 9:41 PM

Uh twig, that hyperactive kid sister was Ed. Melfina is also part of the ship (if also the like the irritating but preferable Up side of a Diclonius pink-do'ed spazzer), and what trumps anything else I can think of in the universe. I'll pass on Sol Bianca, but I love the geeky tips you got.

Perhaps we can do a Best Jacked-In Technology Random lists one of these days.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 7, 2009 9:44 PM

wow, mega errors in my last comment. I'm watching Parks and Recreation and typing at the same time.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 7, 2009 9:47 PM

I'd like to add the Borg Cube...

Thank you - that's where my mind first went. But the TARDIS should have been number one - anything else is just wrong.

Posted by: Cindy at May 7, 2009 9:48 PM

All this time and not a single Flesh Gordon mention? There's sad, there's damn sad, and then there's this.

Posted by: sansho1 at May 7, 2009 10:25 PM

The ship I know inside and out and my personal preference is the Event Horizon. A gothic castle in space, the sort of thing Dracula would fly, if he became a Cenobite in Hellraiser. Plus a gravity drive that rips the universe a new dimension hole... All the way to Hell!

I know most people hate that movie, but I love it.

Liberate tu te me ex inferis!

Posted by: Bane at May 7, 2009 10:26 PM

Really people dig the Super Star Destroyer? To my memory, it just trundle around dully until performing an Exxon Valdez into the Death Star...

Now Serenity punked out with the good Book's avenging bones? That was a spaceship, not a backdrop.

Posted by: boyuc at May 7, 2009 10:32 PM

I am shocked and dismayed that the Yamato/Argo from Space Cruiser Yamato/Star Blazers hasn't been mentioned. The remains of the Japanese battleship Yamato converted into a space ship, on a mission to save the Earth. It has gun turrets, missles, fighter craft, and the one and only Wave Motion Gun.

I also would agree that the Bebop and/or Swordfish II should be on the list.

I would have put the original USS Enterprise, NCC-1701 (No bloody A, B, C, or D) on the list in place of the A, and put it as number 2 or 3. It is such an iconic and beautiful ship. I cannot disagree with the number one choice however. That ship is all sorts of shiny, and is as perfect as an egg in the number 1 position.

Posted by: CptCrckpot at May 7, 2009 11:59 PM

Sorry, but sticking Cowboy Bebop and Outlaw Star in the same bracket is like shelving Casablanca next to Timecop. One of these things is a masterpiece on practically every level. The other one is Outlaw Star.

The 'best Jacked-in tech' list sounds at least like a good chance for another dork showdown and reminds me I really need to see eXistenZ.

Posted by: twig at May 8, 2009 12:16 AM

... and yeah, Sol Bianca the show and OVA's were generally a dull, slow, boring mess with characters and plotlines that never managed to live up to 1/10 their potential. The ship itself, though, wasn't half bad.

Posted by: twig at May 8, 2009 12:28 AM

Echo The Lexx, but not for top ten. That is all.

Posted by: replica at May 8, 2009 12:51 AM

1) Event Horizon
2) The Surocco (Aliens)
3) Vaders Tie Fighter
4) SDF-1

Bitches.

Posted by: Mad at May 8, 2009 4:29 AM

Spaceballs kicks sucks all kinds of ass.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 7, 2009 7:07 PM

Fixed it for you.

Posted by: FabMaxMax at May 8, 2009 5:52 AM

All kinds of love for Serenity. Coolest ship, awesomest crew, hottest captain...love love LOVE. Are we shiny?

But, Doctor Controversy you are damned straight on the TARDIS. The TARDIS is infinite, phenomenal, can go anywhere, anywhen. The Doctor RULES! And, the Heart of Gold? SHIIIIIIIT! Turn my ass into a yarn puppet so I puke yarn....HELL YESSSSS!!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 8, 2009 8:36 AM

As the oversight of the TARDIS has already been mentioned, I've only got one other absence to lament...


RED DWARF!

Posted by: Berry at May 8, 2009 8:40 AM

twig, I wasn't saying the shows compare, just that I like the ship.

What about a Valkyrie? Those things are badass.

Posted by: Snath at May 8, 2009 9:22 AM

Damn skippy: Red Dwarf, every type of Klingon bird of Prey, any ship of Farscape, Vipers, hell even the Buck Rogers ships over Serenity: that piece of crap looks like a metal horse and its from show where the writers didn't even try to grasp the basics of astronomy, let alone science fiction.

I would have put the Voyager above Serenity, christ seth you know NOTHING about science fiction. The ships of 2001 gave us the skyscraper effect in movie SF that the Falcon and all the others barrowed from! Heck the Original Enterprise should get placed because that was the first regularly presented ship with a decentralized design (the saucer is the primary hull, but the drives are attached to the secondary) And yeah, the TARDIS should at least get honorable mention.

And just to be perfectly clear about Serenity: the ships from Jason of Star Command look and are cooler than that waste of CGI.

Posted by: Real Scifi fan at May 8, 2009 9:23 AM

What about a Valkyrie? Those things are badass.

Here is the point where I grimace and admit the gigantic flaw in my geek armor - I haven't seen any Battlestar Galactica, ever. No cable, and I've been spending my time on Netflix with Veronica Mars and Chuck.

My secret shame.

Posted by: twig at May 8, 2009 9:37 AM

In what universe does the Red Dwarf look even remotely 'cool'?

... actually, now that I think about it, that tree-ship from The Fountain was actually supposed to be a spaceship. Hrm.

Posted by: twig at May 8, 2009 9:42 AM

Oh, just saw jm's comment.... NSEA Protector! Never give up, never surrender!!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 8, 2009 10:03 AM

I'm a little shocked and chagrined that you did not include a Cylon Raider. Seeing as each and every one of them is a sentient being with organic internal organs. That seems badass to me, I don't know about you.

Posted by: Audiosuede at May 8, 2009 10:32 AM

its from show where the writers didn't even try to grasp the basics of astronomy, let alone science fiction.

Unlike the shows you mention, who don't even remember the basic idea of NO SOUND IN SPACE. Or you, who can't remember basic English grammar.

Wow, reading through this list, I think we may have discovered the science fiction version of hipster douchebags. I never though it possible, but there you go.

There is even a commenter calling themselves "Real Scifi fan". Dude, hate to tell ya this, but that means exactly jack with a small side of shit. Jesus, you people need to let the anger go once in a while.

This is why lists like this are so damn displeasing. Not because of the choices, but because folks act like the damn thing is worth a Congressional hearing to correct some perceived slight against your (previously) unknown opinion.

And by the way, YOU ARE PICKING OVER FICTIONAL SPACESHIPS. IT IS STUPID. And if you really understood the person saying this, you would feel pretty bad about it.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 8, 2009 10:51 AM

twig, the Valkyries are from Macross. I'm still sticking to the anime thing, because I have no life and my soul is wrinkled and smells like ramen.

Posted by: Snath at May 8, 2009 11:04 AM

Whoa shit man, The Serenity over the Falcon?

superasente had it right, I'd like to bitch slap you too. The top 10 list is:

10.The Nostromo
9. Tie Fighter Bomber
8 .B-Wing
7 .The Heart of Gold
6.Klingon Bird of Prey
5. The Satellite of Love
4. The Enterprise
3. X-Wing
2. Slave 1
1. The Millennium Falcon

Posted by: pike at May 8, 2009 12:07 PM


1. Space Battleship Yamato from star blazers
2. The ship from Battle of the Planets that transported all members veihicles and then morphed into a phenix for attack!!


Posted by: rabbi at May 8, 2009 2:18 PM

so far i've liked every starship iv'e ever seen in sci fi my favorite is the Prometheus from stargate and the Titan a ship that build a planet can't get better then that unless someone builds one that can build a solar system or a galaxy.

Posted by: utahdynamo at May 8, 2009 2:49 PM

I know you have to be skeptical when a show calls its ship "the fastest, most advanced ship in the galaxy," but given the abilities, achievements, dogfights, coolness factor, and crew of the ship, The Outlaw Star would just edge out the Millenium Falcon. Heart of Gold and Tardis trump other ships in abilities and crew, but they are not pleasing ships in themselves.

Pike, you're way too heavy on the Star Wars ships. And I display an X-Wing model in my home.

Snath good call on the Macross. I forgot those also turned into ships. Your personal manually controlled Starscream. A top 15 ship at least.

Twig thanks all the same. I wish I could watch Veronica Mars for the first time again. I'm mired in obscure foreign classics on Netflix, but I have that newly released anime Claymore queued up.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 8, 2009 3:30 PM

Verm they were trying to scare you from the bushes and you walked right into it.

Just kidding. You can scoop the runny mucus off a third of these comments. You sat-in on principles, but you know you wanted to drop some knowledge.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 8, 2009 3:36 PM

Spaceballs sucks all kinds of ass.

It's a lot better than that Robin Hood movie.

Posted by: Jay at May 8, 2009 3:36 PM

I'd have to go with pike's list over this one. Those B-wings were awesome. And satellite of love...

But I'd have to say Farscape's Moya and 2001's Discovery One should be there somewhere.

Posted by: the other kafka at May 8, 2009 5:06 PM

It's a lot better than that Robin Hood movie.

Posted by: Jay at May 8, 2009 3:36 PM

Since all Mel Brooks movies are crap, the quality difference between them doesn't matter.

Posted by: FabMax at May 8, 2009 6:35 PM

Hey Jay, I beg to differ, how about Blazing Saddles or Young Frankenstein. They are two of the greatest comedies of all time, and I bet you most people would agree.
Also, has anyone said anything about the great ships from the Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers serials from the 30s and 40s? I fell in love with these gorgeous flying improbabilities the first time I saw them. I seem to recall they were powered by that futuristic fuel source known as exploding firecrackers.

Posted by: dave at May 9, 2009 2:48 PM

So basically my litmus test for the legitimacy of your list was whether or not the refitted enterprise from the Kirk movies would make it. It did thus making your list authoritative (though I still wouldn't put serenity at #1 and I like x-wings). Kudos because that ship has always been my favorite enterprise.

Posted by: Brian at May 10, 2009 1:12 PM

Seth, dude, I will marry you simply because you included Gay Deceiver. As badass spaceships go, she is up there. However, I will concede that Serenity's got something that the rest don't.

Posted by: Captain Steve at May 10, 2009 8:56 PM

Thank God someone brought up The Argo/Yamato from Starblazers. That ship kicked ass, and that navigator in the yellow suit was hot.
Red Dwarf not so cool but Starbug was awesome.

Posted by: Jack Random at May 11, 2009 6:31 PM

Wait, did anybody mention the Liberator? I looked, but I didn't see it... Zen is apt to get cranky if I don't.

Posted by: Camera Obscura at May 11, 2009 6:47 PM

Having just seen the new Star Trek movie, I have to nominate Nero's Romulan mining ship. That is the evilest, spikiest motherfucker I've ever seen.

Posted by: Ali at May 13, 2009 7:24 AM

TARDIS! 250,000,000 light-years in 15 minutes -- now, that's fast. Does any another fictional ship travel faster.

Posted by: Regent at May 16, 2009 8:23 PM

What, no mention of the Cygnus from The Black Hole?

Okay, so that film sucked. Cool robots, though. Has there been a list on coolest robots!?!?!?

Posted by: Steve at May 25, 2009 6:34 PM

"It’s not the biggest, not the baddest, not the prettiest, not the fastest. But it’s the goddamned coolest." gorram, its gorram jeez what kind of brown coat are you.

anyway you can keep your wookies your shiny golden homosexual robots and all those little ewoks, cuz this ship comes with river tam and she could fight it out with jackie chan, bruce lee, donald trump, jay leno, sauron, robbie the robot, al gore and the monty python black knight and win!

Posted by: kzkskippy at June 2, 2009 9:23 AM





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