The Best Stephen King Movies to Kick Back and Enjoy This Halloween Season, Unless You Suffer from Any of These Seven Phobias
Granted, not all teenagers are murderous telekinetic superhumans, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't scare you. Their bad attitudes, raging hormones, and pulsating acne are terrifying enough.
Hemophobia - Fear of Blood
Having an aversion or getting physically ill at the sight of a drop of blood is easily understandable -- and, sure, nobody likes to be doused in pig guts -- but drowning in a cascading liquid crimson flood is the stuff psychiatric wards are made of.
If attending the circus before attending school and some bozo on local access TV didn't make you question what every individual clown you see is planning, Tim Curry most certainly will; unintended side-effects may include acute Curryophobia that isn't at all as adorable as it sounds.
Apeirophobia - Fear of Infinity
Even if you're enjoying the individual sequences more than most whole horror movies, at some point mercilessly far from the credits, you'll begin to wonder if the movie will ever has an ending. For those who go mad waiting that final fade to black, it never, ever does.
Hylophobia - Fear of Wood
The are certainly other fears in play here - of isolation, of caregivers, of uber-fans - but the only thing that sticks is the sudden appearance of that dreaded two-by-four. An inability to build a fire or use chopsticks afterward is not uncommon.
Homichlophobia - Fear of Fog
In the thickest of fogs it's already terribly easy to get lost and to run into unseen objects or people, now imagine you're lost and being hunted by giant, hungry insects from a Hell dimension. You're welcome!
Theophobia - Fear of Gods/Religion
Or, in this case, fear of the literal Deus Ex Machina.
Rob Payne also writes the comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter, tumbls on the Tumblr, and his wares can be purchased here. He didn't pick Cujo because it was too obvious and not very good.
Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.