The Appalling History of Wedding-Themed Movie Posters

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (42)

What is it about Hollywood studio marketing people that compels them to believe that the women they are gearing their wedding-themed movies toward want cheesy and generic? If all I had to go on were movie posters, I doubt I’d have ever seen a wedding movie. As it stands, I only wish I’d rarely seen a wedding-themed movie (of the ten I’m about to list, only one of these movies was any good at all, Muriel’s Wedding).

However, there is hope. Cinematical/Moviefone debuted the new movie poster for Bridesmaids, which I’m guessing is one of the half-dozen projects in development considered to be the female Hangover. Hopefully, it’ll fare better than The Sweetest Thing, which kind of demonstrated by its failure that generic and cheesy is the best way to reach mainstream female audiences, which is why a terrible movie like Runaway Bride makes $100 million and The Sweetest Thing makes $24 million. But at least, from the look of the movie poster alone, Bridesmaids has the right attitude, if not a winning cast that includes Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper. That’s to say, it’s only one Anna Faris and one Aubrey Plaza away from a near perfect female comedian cast. Having director Paul Feig and producer Judd Apatow behind it doesn’t hurt, though it would’ve been even nicer had they gotten a female director like, say, Mindy Kaling, who has directed a few episodes of “The Office.”

Here’s that poster.

And for some context in why you should appreciate this poster, here are the 10 Most Appalling Wedding-Themed movie posters.

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Comments

I just don't get what's NOT generic about that poster?
Bad pink dress: check
Pissed off bride: check
Slutty b'maid: check
Snobby b'maid: check
Fat b'maid: check
Am I missing something?

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 31, 2011 3:26 PM

Fuck you very much for reminding me that Mammia Mia exists. I was forced to watch this at a birthday party, and got in a fight with the birthday boy because I couldn't stop making fun of it.

Posted by: Ian at January 31, 2011 3:32 PM

The only thing that poster makes me wonder is if the movie is set in the 80's or if the bride is one of those bitches who wants to make her friends look bad. Either way it reminds me more of the Wedding Singer than The Hangover.
Either way, blah.

Posted by: Jennifer at January 31, 2011 3:32 PM

Man, that scroll-down of posters is indeed appalling.

Posted by: MM at January 31, 2011 3:35 PM

SOOKIE!

I love Sookie! With the Sookie!

I'm in.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 31, 2011 3:41 PM

Waaaaaay too much Julia Roberts on Pajiba today.

Posted by: The Mutt at January 31, 2011 3:46 PM

Who doesn't love Aubrey Plaza? I want to take her out to a fancy restaurant and talk about how her day was.

Posted by: Lucas at January 31, 2011 3:46 PM

I love Dustin. He is one cutie feminist who is so intent on telling your about the female talent behind Bridesmaids that he didn't even bother mentioning that all those chicks come with a side of HAAAMMMMMMMMM.

Posted by: coveredinbees at January 31, 2011 3:47 PM

Someone wanna explain why Mr. Wrong isn't on that list?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/518MQMS8FPL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

Also, that Muriel sure is a lot thinner then the Muriel in the movie.

Posted by: Rowen at January 31, 2011 3:49 PM

At least it's not so poorly made. The others are just Photoshop disasters.

Posted by: sars at January 31, 2011 3:49 PM

The one and only Sookie! Not any of that True Blood bullshit.

Posted by: staceygarrett at January 31, 2011 3:51 PM

Man, Sookie St. James will cut a bitch. I would, too, if my friend made me wear that dress. The first thing I did when I saw this poster was e-mail it to my friend and thank her for not making me wear one of these as a bridesmaid's dress for her upcoming nuptuals. Gross.

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at January 31, 2011 3:57 PM

Muriel also looks a lot more orange in that poster than she did in the movie.

Posted by: nosio at January 31, 2011 4:11 PM

Yet again I am completely unable to see the difference between a good movie poster and a bad one.

Posted by: Todd at January 31, 2011 4:21 PM

I saw a screening of Bridesmaids a few months ago-- I'm happy to report it's FUCKING HILARIOUS.

Posted by: Rachel Cooley at January 31, 2011 4:28 PM

Heard on a Top Gear segment:

Hammond: Did you see Mamma Mia?
Clarkson: Yes I did.
Hammond: You big girl.

And that about sums it up.

Posted by: The Wanderer at January 31, 2011 4:42 PM

Yep, they had me at the poster. And at Sookie, obviously. I'm really just excited that I can watch her in something again because I watched the pilot of Mike and Molly and holy shit balls, I just spent the whole time trying not to cry for her.

I like the 'tude - the problem with most wedding movie posters (and most wedding movies in general) is that they subscribe to the notion that the woman is insane about her wedding to the point of not being a real person (even the bride!!). These chicks all look like something is going on in their mind-grapes, which is awesome. If Aubrey Plaza was in it, or if Mindy Kaling had written and/or directed it I'd be even more psyched, but this'll do quite nicely.

Posted by: Nicole at January 31, 2011 5:04 PM

I think they are going for this album cover's vibe.
http://www.allmusic.com/album/ramones-r16118

A little hard to live up to though.

Posted by: Stiv Bators at January 31, 2011 5:16 PM

The way Rose Byrne is standing, that really can't be comfortable. Like she was brute forced into a 'relaxing' pose.

Posted by: Matthijs at January 31, 2011 5:47 PM

Ahahaha that Wedding Daze thing is the BEST. Look at that thing! it just screams humiliation and distress for everyone involved. Hee!

Posted by: Figgy at January 31, 2011 6:16 PM

I'm with Figgz, that Wedding Daze poster is all kinds of wrong. Terrible title, people dressed in street clothes, fake running, and Jason Biggs.

I'm going to have nightmares about it.

Posted by: Jelinas at January 31, 2011 6:23 PM

Waitaminute. bees, there's HAAAAAAAAAAMM?! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME.

I'm gonna go stand in line nRIGHT NOW.

Posted by: Figgy at January 31, 2011 6:37 PM

Does anyone else see a reoccurring theme here of the protagonists trying to bust up someone else's wedding? This kind of hearkens back to the previous rom-com thread.

Am I the only one who thinks ruining somebody's "special day" is usually neither romantic nor charming? I'm not saying it couldn't possibly be executed right, but the ones listed here (and a few others) miss the target by a few light years. For the most part our leads come off as being selfish and insensitive and would usually deserve a drop-kick to the pelvis regardless of gender. Also in these movies the other half of the wedding party is either depicted as a total knob or literally vanishes into the ether. I think most people would take exception to someone basically hitting on their spouse to be. The cummerbund is thrown down and odds are the Best Man will be holding someone back, and if he's a truly good one, it'll be the intruder for the couple to take turns slugging.

I can assure you that after months of planning and a king's ransom invested, nobody gives a shit that someone else wants to swoop in. Most people I know want their wedding to go without a hitch (and by hitch I mean an outside party coming by to fuck it up). Believe me, if the bride is freaking out because of smaller details like the wrong flowers, late guests, or the harpist has a hangnail, then a self-absorbed twit trying for the Hail Mary Pass is going to send her over the edge. If you haven't realized that someone is the person for you by the time they're proceeding down the aisle to someone else, chances are that boat has already set sail. The whole "If anyone here objects..." schpiel, isn't really an invite to be a shit disturber. It's really wedding-speak for "You snoozed, you lose".

Posted by: bleujayone at January 31, 2011 6:48 PM

I think they are going for this album cover's vibe.
http://www.allmusic.com/album/ramones-r16118
A little hard to live up to though.
Posted by: Stiv Bators

Not that that's stopping anyone:
http://www.rockandrollconfidential.com/hall/index.php

Posted by: Brenton at January 31, 2011 7:02 PM

how's about "betsy's wedding?"

http://sylviagarza.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/betsys-wedding.jpg

Posted by: matty blue at January 31, 2011 7:32 PM

aw, I loved "The sweetest thing"- that is my sister and I all the way....

god I hate movies like "27 Dresses"

truth is even Carrie Bradshaw lied to us, and its time someone called the bitch out.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at January 31, 2011 7:54 PM

Four Weddings and a Funeral
Only You

Posted by: arrrghzi at January 31, 2011 9:44 PM

Oh dear God that Runaway Bride poster is the worst thing ever. Those shoes look like they were photshopped on. Were the producers really that lazy?

Posted by: camytaru at January 31, 2011 9:45 PM

rose byrne is looking mighty fine there, uncomfortable pose or not.

Posted by: haplo at January 31, 2011 9:56 PM

That’s to say, it’s only one Anna Faris and one Aubrey Plaza away from a near perfect female comedian cast.

So they're not in the movie? Then it IS a perfect cast. Because they're both very, verrrrrrry unfunny one-trick ponies.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 31, 2011 10:27 PM

Bleujayone: that's always been one of my pet peeves in romantic movies. Breaking up someone's wedding is a fucked up thing to do, no matter how much you love this other person. At least wait for them to get divorced or get an annullment or whatever. Don't bust in on their exhaustingly-planned day and break it up, making everyone miserable.

What's worse, though, is the person who wants to break up the wedding for another person, and doesn't. They decide to go through with the thing, hoping that someone will stop them. If I were the pursuing character (the one who breaks up the wedding), I'd think twice about getting with someone who would go through the trouble of MARRYING SOMEONE instead of getting some balls and breaking it up.

Aaaand I've gone on another romcom rant. They just get me going.

Posted by: Figgy at January 31, 2011 10:50 PM

Ian: Same thing happened to me, but got in a fight with my dear old Mother, and my sister, and my other sister. Gah! They all love these cutesy-cutesy, vomit-inducing movies, like they were spun out of gold.

Posted by: Tina at January 31, 2011 10:55 PM

I don't care what anyone says, I will watch The Wedding Date any time it's on TBS.

Posted by: Austin at January 31, 2011 11:49 PM

No, they are one Lizzy Caplan away from the perfect cast. Why can't that woman get work?

Posted by: brdkelli at January 31, 2011 11:57 PM

How DARE anyone utter anything unkind about Muriel's Wedding??? That movie is one of the few wedding films I can really get behind:

"You can't stop progress!"

Posted by: Mojonite at February 1, 2011 12:02 AM

Is Eugene Levy having an apoplexy in the American Pie poster? He looks like he insisted on chewing the gum after Willy Wonka told him not to.

Posted by: Chickaboom at February 1, 2011 1:16 AM

Jason Biggs and Julia Roberts are rumored to make "My Best Friend's American Wedding".

Posted by: Baby JP at February 1, 2011 4:11 AM

No, they are one Lizzy Caplan away from the perfect cast. Why can't that woman get work?

Posted by: brdkelli at January 31, 2011 11:57 PM

----------------

Second.

Need more Caplan.

Posted by: zeke the pig at February 1, 2011 7:45 AM

The only problems I have with the Bridesmaids poster are 1) Why is the blondest woman always the sluttiest? and 2) Why does the fat girl always get a different dress?
Pisses me off.

Posted by: katyv at February 1, 2011 10:08 AM

Say what you want about Mamma Mia, but that poster has Colin Firth and Mrs Weasley, so I'm keeping it.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 1, 2011 10:18 AM

Why does the fat girl always get a different dress?
I agree she shouldn't be the only b'maid in a different dress, but shoving a big girl into a dress that flatters all of the others is also cruel. If your maids vary a lot, choose different cuts for all. Or heck, find one flattering to all; they exist.

...Now I'm off on an 'actual wedding' tangent, instead of focusing on the poster. My bad.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 1, 2011 10:22 AM

I'm happy cause Wendi McLendon-Covey is there :)

Posted by: james at February 9, 2011 9:14 PM

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The Appalling History of Wedding-Themed Movie Posters

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