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The 8 Groan-Worthiest Movie Taglines of 2011 So Far

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (30)

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“No Work. All Play.” — Arthur

“Who’s Afraid?” — Red Riding Hood

“Best. Quest. Ever.” — Your Highness

“In Our Darkest Hour, There Will Be Light.” — Green Lantern

“Life is the most spectacular show on earth.” — Water for Elephants

“Prepare for the return of awesomeness.” — Kung Fu Panda 2

“Welcome to his Jungle.” — Zookeeper

“Smurf Happens.” — Smurfs









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Comments

"Smurf," in the Smurf dialect, is clearly a positive word; "I'm feeling pretty Smurfy today!" means "I'm feeling good," not "I'm feeling shitty." So "Smurf Happens" seems misplaced to me.

Posted by: Todd at March 10, 2011 4:57 PM

“Welcome to his Jungle.” — Zookeeper

That makes it sound like we're going on a safari in the Zookeeper's pubic hair.


Come on, I can't be the only one that thought that.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at March 10, 2011 5:04 PM

“Prepare for the return of awesomeness.”

I kinda like that one, although it's now tainted with a little bit of Charlie Sheen-ish-ness.

Posted by: MM at March 10, 2011 5:07 PM

DAMMIT. "Prepare for the awesomeness" was gonna be the slogan for my band, "The Ben Foster Reach-Around"! Bastards!

Posted by: figgy at March 10, 2011 5:12 PM

figgy is so gross.

Posted by: gp at March 10, 2011 5:14 PM

oh wait. ben FOSTER. i thought ben folds.


carry on.

Posted by: gp at March 10, 2011 5:14 PM

Your face is gross.

*Also the name of our first single.)

Posted by: figgy at March 10, 2011 5:15 PM

No. No. NO! "The real crime is not committing to your dreams" wins by a landslide.

Posted by: schmerpes at March 10, 2011 5:20 PM

..."Smurf," in the Smurf dialect, is clearly a positive word; "I'm feeling pretty Smurfy today!" means "I'm feeling good," not "I'm feeling shitty." So "Smurf Happens" seems misplaced to me.


-I disagree. It all depends on HOW you use it. For example....

"Go Smurf yourself you Smurfin' Smurf!"

"Bob is ten pounds of Smurf stuffed into a sack made for nine!"

"Oh for Smurf's sake! Why the Smurf do I put up with you Smurfing Smurfers?!?"

and

"Get off the Smurfing road you Smurf wearing, Smurf sniffing, Mother Smurfer! Go Smurf a Smurf up your Smurf!!!

See? It seems a little limited from our more versatile choices I grant you, but otherwise Smurf can be used in their places and the translation isn't sacrificed.

Posted by: bleujayone at March 10, 2011 5:23 PM

The tagline for Arthur should be: "Hey! Do you remember that movie about the alcoholic playboy that HBO used to run CONSTANTLY in the 80s? This movie is like that, except shittier and without Dudley Moore!" Though I suppose that's a long tagline. Maybe "See it again...For the first time! HA HA HA HA HA! GET IT??"

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at March 10, 2011 5:26 PM

Pinky - nope. Definitely not the only one.

Posted by: nosio at March 10, 2011 5:30 PM

"Pixar. Pixar Pixar Pixar. Pixaaaaaaaaar." --Cars 2

"Because we dumped Keira and Bore-lando" --Pirates 4

"You're a bunch of dimwits impressed by shiny things." --Transformers: Pink Floyd Allusion or Something

"There's no way your girlfriend would see this without Jake Gyllenfalalalalall." --The Source Code

"None of you have caught on that the disaster that is the Broadway production is meant to stir up interest in this completely unnecessary reboot." --SpiderYou'reAllHereToSeeEmmaStoneMan

"If you're not interested after reading the movie title, jump off nearest bridge." --Hobo With A Shotgun

"Nah, there really isn't" --There Be Dragons.

"See this on opening weekend, we'll tell you what the point is so you can feel smarter than your friends." --Tree of Life

Posted by: D-Day at March 10, 2011 5:57 PM

In Our Darkest Hour, There Will Be Tights.”

Posted by: sars at March 10, 2011 5:58 PM

@schmerpes "The real crime is not committing to your dreams"

totally agreed.

Posted by: grizzloch at March 10, 2011 6:09 PM

D-day: Cracking me up today. Serially though, people should hire you to tag movies.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at March 10, 2011 7:10 PM

@todd: it's sad that you know that. ;)

Posted by: splinter at March 10, 2011 9:35 PM

If "Smurf Happens" is a play on "Shit Happens" then Smurf=Shit.

Then there won't be a Smurfs #2 because that would be redundant.

Posted by: mswas at March 10, 2011 9:36 PM

I don't know, the Red Riding Hood one is okay (you're dead right about the others, though).

But nothing. NOTHING. is even remotely as ass-curdlingly awful as "good things come in bears."

Posted by: seed at March 11, 2011 12:27 AM

OK, I laughed @ "smurf happens", sorry.. Probably because of the Mr. Sunshine episode last week...

"Life is the most spectacular show on earth" Really?! Really?!

Posted by: Sarah J-Town at March 11, 2011 1:40 AM

bleujayone has comment of the week XD

Posted by: Sarah J-Town at March 11, 2011 1:42 AM

(Ahem)... how about "One Platoon, One Valley, One Year"? (Aka "Look At My Footage That I'll Make A Real Film Out Of ... Err... One Day").

Posted by: SB at March 11, 2011 4:38 AM

Best. Quest. Ever.

I. Can't. Wait. Until. People. Stop. Doing. This.

Posted by: JohnnyBee at March 11, 2011 8:49 AM

JohnnyBee,
Fully. Supported.

Posted by: schmerpes at March 11, 2011 9:53 AM

Taglines are always lame and pointless. Always.

Posted by: Steph at March 11, 2011 3:36 PM

JuiceinLA, I know, right?

We need to send jM and D-Day on a vision quest to LA. I cannot even begin to anticipate what the results of this might be, but of one thing I am sure - they will need helmet cams, a satellite feed and at least two grand in cash.

Posted by: replica at March 11, 2011 4:28 PM

ok. Of three things I am sure.

Posted by: replica at March 11, 2011 4:29 PM

I am sure of MANY things, I assure you.

Posted by: replica at March 11, 2011 4:30 PM

I see nothing groan worthy in the "Green Lantern" tagline. Y'hear me? NOTHING. Good day to you.

I SAID "GOOD DAY"!

Posted by: Green Lantern at March 11, 2011 5:27 PM

Oh fuck you. I had forgotten about Zookeeper.

Posted by: Steve at March 12, 2011 10:24 AM

What about any of the taglines on the Gnomeo and Juliet one sheets?

Posted by: ASFan at March 13, 2011 12:30 PM