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The 5 Worst TV Ads in America

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (44)

summers-eve-hail-to-the-v.jpg

Every great once in a while, I’ll get frustrated with someone in our comments section who brags, BRAGS, that he or she is using ad blocker, encouraging others to do the same, because it’s tantamount to proclaiming, “Hey! Not only am I reading this site for free, but you’re not making any revenue off of me.” It’s probably the same people who defend actors who sell out because “they’re just trying to make a buck.” Me too!

But then I remember that I watch 25-30 shows a week plus hours of football, and — thanks to the DVR — the only ads I ever see are during Monday Night football, where there’s no Red Zone channel option. Even so, I was surprised I hadn’t caught any of Consumerist’s 5 Worst Ads in America, as I’d imagine any ad that could command enough attention to merit inclusion on such a list must be like one of those infectious pop songs that you think you’ve never heard before but somehow know all the words.

I do agree that the top four are obnoxious (and number one makes me want to move to Canada), but number five? I kind of laughed (*sorry*)

5. AT&T, Infuse 4G “spider

4. Geico, “Using smartphones for dumb things”



3. Summer’s Eve, “Hail to the V”

2. AT&T, “Mistake”

1. Luv’s, “Poop, There It Is”

It’s a fun list, and there are several other amusing rankings, as voted on by the Consumerist readers, that are worth checking out, including Most Grating Performance By a Human, Most Irritating Animated Actor, Original Jingle That Should Be Junked, and Worst Abuse Of An Existing Song (and the winner is very deserving).

(Source: Consumerist)









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Comments

I love this site and that includes just keeping a stiff upper lip about the ads (big of me, doncha think?) but I assert that that clairol one from last week...the one where your cursor even touched it and it made that freaky magical-mystery music-sound? I wanted to kill my monitor and all the evil pixels living within.

That said...I have nothing to add to your list.

Posted by: klingonfree at November 1, 2011 12:49 PM

I unabashedly love #5 just because the acting is hilarious. I laugh every time I see it.

#2, though, is awful -- just mean spirited. Why would AT&T want us to associate that with their brand???

Posted by: jimbob at November 1, 2011 12:50 PM

This needs a full sub category for JUST the beer ads. Then a sub category for liquor ads.

Wait? In order to make Disarono and Cranberry I should ADD CRANBERRY!? I've been doing it wrong! Gofuckyourself.

Posted by: JByrd at November 1, 2011 12:58 PM

The AT&T one where the wife goes off on her husband makes me cringe every time it comes on. It's so nasty and completely unfunny. I've seen women cut their husbands down like that in real life and it's so uncomfortable I can't think who thought this would be an amusing ad.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 1, 2011 12:59 PM

I'm sorry, but if the the Hail to the V ad wasn't for douche, it would be awesome. First time I saw it, I turned to my wife, who was engrossed in something else, and said "They just aired a 'fighting over pussy' ad on primetime TV!"

Posted by: Captain Splendid at November 1, 2011 1:01 PM

Number 1 is just too silly to hate. I for one appreciate that they've owned up to the fact that diapers are meant to hold poop, rather than unidentified blue liquid.

2 is awful and mean. I refuse to watch 3.

I don't like 5 because I don't like the 'woman getting hysterical over a bug' trope. Damnit, I'M the bug killer in my house.

I think 4 is kind of funny.

Posted by: Cree83 at November 1, 2011 1:02 PM

What shows do #1 & 3 run during? I've never seen them.

Posted by: anikitty at November 1, 2011 1:10 PM

I hate every Geico ad. ALL of them. They're just so painfully unfunny, and there's so many of them out there, each featuring an infuriating character saying stupid things. I think I hate the guy with the deep voice the most, though. I just want to choke him with a gecko.

Posted by: figgy at November 1, 2011 1:12 PM

Liquid GOOOOOOOOOOLD!

Posted by: snapnhiss at November 1, 2011 1:13 PM

I'm also tired of seeing J-Lo everywhere. Shilling cars, clothes, shoes...toilet cleaners. Stop it, woman!

Posted by: figgy at November 1, 2011 1:14 PM

Every great once in a while, I’ll get frustrated with someone in our comments section who brags, BRAGS, that he or she is using ad blocker, encouraging others to do the same, because it’s tantamount to proclaiming, “Hey! Not only am I reading this site for free, but you’re not making any revenue off of me.” It’s probably the same people who defend actors who sell out because “they’re just trying to make a buck.” Me too!

Simple solution: just put ads in your articles.  Here's an example:
http://www.pajiba.com/seriously_random_lists/the-super-hot-women-of-those-old-timey-westerns.php

Oh, whoops...

Posted by: pissant at November 1, 2011 1:16 PM

I always assumed you wanted us to use an adblocker (maybe you were getting payola from AdBlock Plus), why else would the ads on this site be so annoying? I initially installed the adblock plug-in just for this site, the ads were crashing my browser every fucking day. After a while I turned it off for pajiba (I leave it disabled for the majority of my frequently visited sites) then there was the flash video ad that kept returning and returning with every page view do to a cookie problem. I now disable it on Pajiba every few months, but quickly reenable it after some fucking ad screams at me.

If you switch to ads that don't crash my browser, put a 15 second delay on reading EVERY page, and ads that don't make noise, I'll gladly disable adblock and let you have that revenue, until then...

Fair enough, LwoodPDowd. BUT, Google has switched to some new system or another, and our ads are running faster now. As for the 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... ads, well, the thing about obnoxious ads is that they're the only ones that pay because no one pays ANY attention to non-obnoxious ads, and ad networks are increasingly aware of this. If you want to make any revenue, readers actually have to notice the ads a little bit. Also, we don't get a lot of choice in the kinds of ads we run because, let's be honest, we're not exactly an ad-friendly site. We don't cultivate relationships with advertisers, so we usually will take ANYONE that will have us and I'm afraid that's often the advertisers with the obnoxious ads. -- DR

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at November 1, 2011 1:20 PM

A friend of mine laughed at the Hail to the V commercial and his female friend slugged him (in the arm) so hard people turned around in the theater to stare. "Dirty ****? Clean it up!" The Summer's Eve ad folks can take the razorblade slide into the lemon juice pool.

Posted by: Bob Frapples at November 1, 2011 1:23 PM

I want you to make money, I really do, Rowles, but those damn "Ad will expand in 3... 2... 1" ads are the most evil little bastards ever. If my cursor so much as touches those ads they take over. So I'm afraid the AdBlock stays, but every now and then I promise to click on the other ads.

#4 is just stupid - and the "song" they play is so annoying I have to mute the commercial if I'm watching live. And #2 is just plain mean. If I were that guy, I'd use the money he's saving on their phone plan to divorce that bitch.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 1, 2011 1:25 PM

What I want to know is the medical ailment which causes women to bleed Windex on their Maxi pads? It then moved on to diapers, toilet paper, Kleenex, Q-tips, Band-Aids, and every other product where bodily fluids are involved.

That trend HAD to have been done by a roomful of squeamish men, because I don't know a single woman out there who is that objectionable to everyday bodily functions. I theorize that because blue is just about the only color we don't normally secrete in some capacity or another (unless you just downed an entire box of BooBerry the night before) we can lull ourselves into accepting the product does what it says it does despite the flawed demonstration. Show me an ad agency that has the balls to at least try other colors of food dye in their ads.

Still, imagine the bragging rights some asshole would have if he in fact could say his wife truly was a blue blood.

Posted by: bleujayone at November 1, 2011 1:26 PM

bleujayone for the win

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 1, 2011 1:33 PM

I'm fine with the ads because as you mention, I'm enjoying the content or not (glorification of Catherine Tate for instance) for free. But I am apoplectic about the fact that I pay in excess of $50 a month for access to full content of the New York Times and I still have to deal with the full page ads, the slowly loading ads and the pop-ups.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 1, 2011 1:48 PM

Oh, man. I was watching TV with my 17 year-old daughter last week when that Summer's Eve spot came on. She turned to me and asked, "What was that about?" obviously disbelieving her own eyes and ears. When I confirmed her worst fears she literally screamed and left the room, only to return and ask, "They still make those kinds of products? Who uses that stuff?". I defelected to her mother and changed the channel to the World Series where I felt confident Summer's Eve was probably not a sponsor.

Posted by: James S at November 1, 2011 1:49 PM

I have no issue with the ads on this site.
I think acting is a job, not a personality.
I laughed at #5.
I know several women like #2, and it makes me uncomfortable.

Oh, and vagina jousting? I don't know what to do with that.

Posted by: the other courtney at November 1, 2011 1:56 PM

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 1, 2011 2:11 PM

I hate the schick Quattro ads with the suggestive topiaries, but nothing touches the Charmin ads with toilet paper "left behind" on the bears butts. First of all, I get what they're saying, but gross. Second, if you use toilet paper, you should wear pants. Or skirts, but whichever, your butt should be covered.

Posted by: chipwitch at November 1, 2011 2:18 PM

I can't help but like the AT&T spot. It is wrong and mean but the sequel will be great. There will be crime scene tape around the greenhouse where the nerdy, emotionally abused husband buried his nasty prude of a wife. Her hand is sticking out of the ground holding the cell phone.

Posted by: Dingle Berry at November 1, 2011 2:18 PM

I wish there was a way you could do a pledge drive, because I would happily pay the Pajiba staff directly for their writing if it meant I didn't have to suffer through expanding ads, auto-playing videos, and browser crashes whenever I read this site. Perhaps you could do a "capital campaign" to raise money for new features, writers or projects. For example, April Winchell at Regretsy recently had a pledge drive thing among her readers so she could get enough money to take a trip to Finland, write a book about it, and give the book proceeds to charity. She scrounged up hilarious prizes, raised the money, and just finished the book. I'm just saying, it's not clear to me that reliance on these particularly irritating ads are Pajiba's only means of survival.

And for the record, I don't use AdBlock, so you are not losing money from me. I love the site, I've been a reader since 2005, and I'll keep reading, whatever you do. Just keep being awesome.

Posted by: StoatCat at November 1, 2011 2:56 PM

I have loved the majority of GEICO ads I've seen. The gecko, the money stack, the cavemen. This is a serious wedge between my father and me. I would have actually watched that cavemen sitcom if it was anything like their ads.

This list is fine, but it's invalidated by the fact—FACT—that the top five worst ads on TV will always be prescription ads that treat psychotropic pharmaceuticals like Happy Meal toys, based on principle. Depression is not a cartoon bathrobe with googley eyes, this is an irresponsible way to address a serious issue, I hate you.

To take this comments section in a positive direction, the bar-none best advertisement on television is the JAWSAW ads running during The Walking Dead. That's just brilliant marketing, and also it's a goddamn JAWSAW.

Posted by: Jettison at November 1, 2011 3:08 PM

I think the power of the V commercial is awesome!

Posted by: daria at November 1, 2011 3:09 PM

I like everything StoatCat said.

I loathe advertising and marketing. Perhaps it's because I believed myself to be impervious to it until a few years ago when I realized I would try anything Taco Bell makes if they simply tell me about it (god damn them). I just basically hate the idea of the internet these days. Got a good idea? Great! But if it becomes popular, you're gonna need to money to handle all the traffic (let alone make money with it). How ya gonna monetize it? Ads! More shit for people who don't need it*! I mean, there must be a better way. I just gave $20 to Wikipedia again. I've given money to NPR several times. I'd probably give money to Pajiba. It'd be fun to see it tried, anyway. How about y'all see if you can raise enough money for an "ad-free Friday"?

* - come, experience my douchery in it's purest experssion

Posted by: pissant at November 1, 2011 3:15 PM

I would love an NPR-style Pajiba pledge-drive. But it must adhere strictly to the NPR/PBS model:

Dustin et al must spew drivel for at least 25 minutes in the middle of a really interesting thread and then refuse to finish the thread until 20 people pledge in the next 10 minutes. Keep blabbing on ad nauseam until we break down and give you money just to shut up.

Have a bunch of pained corporate workers come in on a Saturday to man the pledge phones not out of their desire to support but because their manager told them they had to do it.

Pander to ethnic groups (this is the specialty of our PBS station pledge drives). Run little rosy-tinted documentaries on "The Jews in Chicago" or "How the Irish built the City" and then play off their guilt until they give you some money.

Give shout outs to your highest donors and start naming the neighborhoods that you haven't heard from. "We've had 1,000 callers from the North Shore but no-one from Martin Luther King Drive has called in yet. Come on MLK residents, do your bit".
Yup, there's nothing like an NPR fund drive to highlight class distinctions and make people feel like shit.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 1, 2011 3:29 PM

#2 is just an extension of the "Dad's a dumbass" trope that seems to be everywhere. (My perticular hatred is the one with the "where's MY wire" comemrcial for some fucking wireless company (for his laptop). Can't even remember what it's for, so great job whoever!

But any of them where the kids are so much smarter than one, or both, of the parents, is annoying as hell.

Posted by: Uncle JR at November 1, 2011 3:42 PM

Ah yes commercials... the bane of any television viewer's existence.

#5 Irritates me to no end...seriously? after the first smackdown you couldn't tell it wasn't an insect? Beat that message of clear pictures into the ground like that phone. Ugh.

#4 Not their best, but relatable if you know any numbnut app nerds, and I do.

#3 I seriously thought it was an ad for some HBO show, and then I was like, the power of the V...I like that concept... just not the commercial.

#2 That bitch makes me wanna pimp slap her into the plants she treated with more respect than her husband.

#1 I dont care how cutely you animate it, shit IS NOT adorable... that commericial sucks shitty baby diaper ass.

Posted by: NGG at November 1, 2011 3:52 PM

Posted by: Jerry at November 1, 2011 4:24 PM

...whatever happened to soap and water?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at November 1, 2011 5:09 PM

...also, is #2 trying to be 'Meta' by being so heavy handed with the "dumb husband" schtick?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at November 1, 2011 5:12 PM

I love that my friends and I are not the only one who hate that AT & T commercial. We all independently thought "what a bitch". They completely dropped the ball on that one.

Posted by: e at November 1, 2011 5:44 PM

Is it wrong that for a brief moment during the "Power Of V" ad that I thought the women might shed their human facade and show us their reptilian scales and teeth?

Freudian or Fanboy; you decide.

Posted by: bleujayone at November 1, 2011 5:49 PM

I wish everyone involved in the production of those fucking AFLAC ads (especially the most recent one) would die painfully. Run over by heavy machinery or something like that.

And yeah, the other ads on the list are pretty bad, but the "Hail to the V" one is kind of funny. Kind of. I want someone to make a parody of it called something like "Hail to the Dong."

Posted by: Slash at November 1, 2011 6:26 PM

It would be great if they do get run over by heavy machinery and then find out that their employer didn't purchase AFLAC.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 1, 2011 6:57 PM

I laughed at five too. That was pretty funny.

Posted by: Nadine at November 1, 2011 7:16 PM

I will agree that 2 & 4 are hideous - why would that horrible woman and her poor husband make someone want to use AT & T? Or, perhaps that abusive relationship is meant to model the one I have with AT& T as my phone carrier (you'll pay more and like it, loser!). 5 is sort of funny, but the shrieking lady scares my dog so fuck that. I think 3 is faintly amusing - maybe b/c, unlike the ladyparts commercials of yore this one steps right up and says "hey, we're talking about vaginas here". 1 is not so much awful as weird.

Posted by: kimk at November 1, 2011 7:41 PM

You forgot every beer commercial, especially the light beer ones.

Posted by: Dave at November 1, 2011 11:28 PM

So, the woman in #5 is dumber than shit, the woman in #2 treats her husband like shit (what a cunt), the commercial for #3 is all about cunts, and #1 is all about shit.

If it weren't for cunts and shit, there would be no commercials, is that what I am to take from this???

Posted by: handy_man at November 2, 2011 12:03 AM

What the fuck is up with those Nationwide "World's greatest Spokesperson in the World" ads? Those are the fucking worst. I'd rather sit through 10 episodes of the Kardashians (fuck YOU, O.J.) and "Kendra!" than 30 seconds of that shit.

Posted by: , at November 2, 2011 2:19 AM

It's an industry-wide phenomenon since Geico started to take the larger share of the market - make a ridiculously silly commercial that has almost nothing to do with insurance, but goes viral because it's just so stupid. Geico has at least four different types of stupid going at any given time. Gecko, caveman, dumb things... Now every insurance ad is like this. The dork with the blue phone who can't sing to save his butt cherry. The goofy chick who looks like Maggie Gylenhaal in joker makeup, the "say the jingle and magic happens" crap... they all suck even when the concept is done well, like the ones with J Jonah jameson

Posted by: Protoguy at November 2, 2011 2:31 AM

I'm glad someone else hates those damn Charmin bears. Those commercials make my eyes twitch.

The ones I REALLY hate are the ones for "clean coal" & the "natural gas will save us all" commercials. GAH!! There is no such things as clean coal (Cleaner than it was 100 years ago? Yes. Clean? Nope) And I truly loathe the smartass girl in the natural gas commercial that plays 100 times a day on my TV. Getting natural gas out of the ground is not "green", it requires ton of energy to get to it & most of that is from coal fired plants.

Ok, sorry for the tangent. I see those damn things all day, every day & I can't yell at the TV because I don't want to scare my 6 month old son

Posted by: Bodhi at November 2, 2011 5:24 PM

That Luv's advert is why I switched to Pampers for my daughter. No 'effing kidding.

(I used adblocker for about five seconds. I then realised that I'm only bothered my pop-up ads and most of them kind of make my content seem framed. I may be an internet oldie (I actually remember 'meatspace' as something I said unironically.) but I can roll with the changes.)

Posted by: Lynn at November 7, 2011 10:22 PM