The 35 Most Popular Posts of 2009

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (27)

It was, all in all, another outstanding year on Pajiba. Traffic was up 48 percent, year over year. There were 3,402 posts on the site; 336 new film reviews; 257 book reviews (thanks Cannonballers!); 174 television reviews; 180 Seriously Random Lists; and 63 Guides. Oh, and thanks to our fantastic readership, there were also over 150,000 comments left on Pajiba in 2009. In nearly every regard, it was the site’s best year in its five-and-a-half year history. Thank you all.

Here’s a brief rundown of the highlights — the 35 Most Popular Posts of 2009. And if you’re wondering why we occasionally post something frivolous, I think some of the year’s most popular posts are telling. Also, for a readership that considers itself intellectual, there’s an awful lot of evidence here pointing toward more deviant inclinations.

35. The Ten Best Love Stories of the Aughts

34. Avatar Review

33. The Ten Best Comedies of the Aughts

32. Ten Great Movies You’ll Never Watch Again

31. The Best Acting Performances of the Decade

30. Star Trek Review

29. Worst Book to Film Adaptations

28. Zombieland Review

27. A Highly Subjective Guide to the Best Horror Films Ever Made

26. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Review

25. First Images from the Human Centipede

24. The Unborn Review

23. The Ten Most Culturally Poisonous Films of the Decade

22. Ten Best Television Shows of the Aughts

21. 500 Days of Summer Review

20. More of the Best Movies You’ve Never Seen

19. The Best Films of the Decade

18. The Case of the Disappearing Lead Actress

17. S. Darko Review

16. The Best Abs in Hollywood

15. The Most Heartbreaking Episodes of Television

14. Twilight: New Moon Review

13. The 2010 Academy Award Nominations — A Pajiba Prediction

12. The 100 Greatest Quotes from “The Wire”

11. The Top Grossing Films of 2009 — A Pajiba Prediction

10. The Ten Most Anticipated Anti-Blockbuster Movies of the Summer

9. The Best Villains in Film History

8. The 50 Funniest Scenes in the History of Film

7. The Most Spectacularly Mediocre Films of the Decade

6. 11 Oldest Actors to Play Teenagers

5. Hollywood’s Smallest Penis

4. 99 Movies that Will Kill You Dead

3. Girls Gone Wild — Wildest College Coeds Review

2. The Pajiba 10 — The Ten Most Bangable Celebrities

1. The Other 100 Best Movie Quotes of All Time

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← The Best Films of the Decade | A Decade of Decadence →

Comments

*sobbing*

Why'd you have to put up that picture again. I'd almost stopped shaking.

Posted by: Cindy at December 31, 2009 2:22 PM

"Also, for a readership that considers itself intellectual, there’s an awful lot of evidence here pointing toward more deviant inclinations."

Talk about painting yourself into a corner. The two are not mutually exclusive. Broaden your horizons, oh limited one.

I would actually like you to explain how this "logic" makes sense in your head...

Posted by: Recondite at December 31, 2009 2:25 PM

I'm curious why the S. Darko review is so high. Should I go back and read it again? I think I will. Thanks for the suggestion.

Posted by: the_wakeful at December 31, 2009 2:41 PM

Just went back and read it. Well written, but nothing to indicate it should be the second most read review of the year. Somebody clue me in?

Posted by: the_wakeful at December 31, 2009 2:44 PM

What have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! Don't you understand that by mentioning each of the most popular posts of the last year you have opened the door for each discussion to resume, thereby creating a forum in which the ULTIMATE THREAD will occur?! The universe cannot handle such a thing! You careless, monster! You stupid, shortsighted fool! You've doomed us all!

RUN! THE SKY IS FALLING! BIRDS HAVE SUDDENLY BECOME MALICIOUS! THE TREES WILL MAKE YOU MORBIDLY DEPRESSED! THE...umm...THE HUMANS ARE COMING TO DESTROY YOUR BIG GLOWIE TREE! WE'RE ALL DOOMED! SERIOUSLY!

Posted by: superasente at December 31, 2009 2:58 PM

I wish there was a way to find out how many posts I left here.

I may be proud of that accomplishment...or embarrassed. Okay mostly proud!

Posted by: Fredo at December 31, 2009 3:08 PM

Fredo, there's usually a top ten in the new year.

Ahem!

*Cues Captain Vegetable music*

It is IIIIII
The Human Centipede
With my anus and your salivary
Eating tasty buttholes is what's good for me
and it's good for you, so eat them too
for teeth so brown, it'll make you frown
eat burritos then toss salad for your lunch
Three mouths for me, Human Centipede
Munch! Munch! Munch!

Posted by: admin at December 31, 2009 3:19 PM

IMPOSTER!! FIEND!! YOU DARE DISPLEASE ME?!!

Don't make me tell my Olive Garden joke again.

Posted by: Human Centipede at December 31, 2009 3:33 PM

1. I am going to throw up.

2. Figs - attention please - admin comment #1 for next week.

Posted by: Cindy at December 31, 2009 3:36 PM

HACK! THIEF!

CANADIAN!

Posted by: Human Centipede at December 31, 2009 3:41 PM

Sorry, was that done before? If so my sincerest apologies.

Posted by: admin at December 31, 2009 3:43 PM

I can't tell if you're making fun of me or being serious. If it's the latter, well . . . look at me, all up in your subconcious! Guess I'm more pervasive than I thought.

your EE pics

Posted by: Human Centipede at December 31, 2009 3:58 PM

Oh admin, a plagiarist too?

Posted by: Cindy at December 31, 2009 4:02 PM

The Human Centipede knows all. The Human Centipede sees all. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it should never, ever, ever be plagiarized.

Look upon its ass-to-mouth fury, and tremble.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at December 31, 2009 4:13 PM

Well I guess that's why it was stuck in my head, I had to look at it 50,000 fucking times. Seriously though, my bad. Even if mine is better.

Oh, and Cindy, shut your facehole!

Posted by: admin at December 31, 2009 5:18 PM

Human Centipede for the new Saw. I can't wait for Human Centipede: Requiem for a Fourth Strain and Human Centipede: I Know What Your Sixth Strain Did Last Autumn. Then, of course, the self-parody starts, as it does in all grand horror series: Human Centipede: Bride of the Seventh Strain; Human Centipede: Eighth Strain in Space; and Human Centipede: The Beginning. Then there's the midnight screenings, cult festival musicals, convention panels, and inevitably the remake in another 20 years. By then, Abigail Breslin, never able to live up to her Academy Award nominated promise of Little Miss Sunshine, will be a full-bodied scream queen, camping it up as the insane doctor surgically grafting mouth to anus in sparkling 3D technology. Sparkling 3D? Why that's the 3D that became industry standard after the Twilight remake, which makes every person on screen glitter like a vampire in the sun. Every film in Sparkling 3D breaks 500million domestically on opening weekend alone.

For all is right when humans eat each other's shit while flapping about on the ground and glittering like a TwiHard in heat.

Posted by: Robert at December 31, 2009 5:23 PM

Well I guess that's why it was stuck in my head, I had to look at it 50,000 fucking times. Seriously though, my bad. Even if mine is better.
Posted by: admin at December 31, 2009 5:18 PM

Yeah, you wish.

Buttface.

Posted by: Human Centipede at December 31, 2009 5:47 PM

Oh shit just got real.

Posted by: SaBrina at December 31, 2009 6:52 PM

For all is right when humans eat each other's shit while flapping about on the ground and glittering like a TwiHard in heat.

Posted by: Robert at December 31, 2009 5:23 PM

Robert, I think I am in love with you....

Posted by: dammitjanet at December 31, 2009 8:27 PM

"Human Centipede vs. Predator"

Posted by: , at January 1, 2010 10:50 AM

Aw, did you have to bring shit into it? *hurk*

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 1, 2010 2:47 PM

Prepare yourselves for a modern retelling of the Jane Austen classic, "Sense and Centipede".

Posted by: Daniel Hall at January 1, 2010 5:14 PM

Which one did I click first? Hollywood’s Smallest Penis, of course. Guess that says something about me.

Posted by: lainiefig at January 1, 2010 10:00 PM

Did you count music posts? Not that I would expect them to have made the list (I really don't), I was just wondering.

Posted by: ChristianH at January 2, 2010 11:46 PM

Just when I thought it was safe you post that stupid photo AGAIN.

Human Centipede for the win!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: BWeaves at January 3, 2010 11:00 AM

It's hard to win with a butt on your chin.

:( :X :X

Posted by: Human Centipede at January 3, 2010 5:21 PM

Ewww. That human centipede post came out when I was hugely pregnant and not online much so I hadn't read it before. Now I need a good brain-scrubbing. Perhaps I should go watch something fresh and wholesome like an Eli Roth flick.

Can't stop saying "ewww."

Posted by: lainiefig at January 4, 2010 11:27 AM

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The 35 Most Popular Posts of 2009

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