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The 13 Most Awesomely Sexually Confident Movie Lines

By The Pajiba Staff | Seriously Random Lists | July 11, 2013 | Comments ()


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I polled some of the Pajiba Staffers on this subject and their responses were…eclectic. So if you were looking for a glimpse into the sexual psyche of your Pajiban overlords, you’re in luck, Jack. The responses range from graphic to sweetly seductive and everything in-between. The language is most assuredly not safe for work. Feel free to add your own in the comments below. As for us? We’ll be in our bunks. — JR

Top GunTK
“Take me to bed or lose me forever.” — Carole
tumblr_mbobnovtHf1qa32meo1_r2_500.gif

The Sure ThingCindy Davis
“How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?” — Gib
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GhostbustersSarah Carlson
“I want you inside me.” — Zuul the Gatekeeper of Gozer
tumblr_movm8mplYV1sp5ae6o4_r1_400.gif

“Torchwood” — Steven Lloyd Wilson
“When was the last time you came so hard and so long you forgot where you are?” — Owen
Gwen-Owen-1x06-Countrycide-gwen-and-owen-15089130-1024-576.jpg

Groundhog DayDustin Rowles
“You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There’s a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You’re a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You’re very generous. You’re kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.” — Phil
“How are you doing this?” — Rita
“I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it’s always February 2nd, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” — Phil
tumblr_mlbzzyFMMe1r68d1so1_500.gif

My Blue HeavenTK
“You know it’s dangerous for you to be in the frozen food section.” — Vinnie
“Why’s that?” — Shaldeen
“Because you could melt all of this stuff” — Vinnie
MyBlueHeaven-Still3.jpg

Before SunsetJoanna Robinson
“Baby, you are going to miss that plane.” — Celine
“I know.” — Jesse
beforesunset.jpg

FletchSeth Freilich
“Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.” — Fletch
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Shark Attack 3: MegalodonCourtney Enlow
“But you know I’m really wired. What do you say I… take you home and eat your pussy.” — Ben
shark-attack-3.jpg

AnchormanTK
“I wanna be on you.” — Ron Burgandy
tumblr_m911txSRSB1r2yrpho1_500.gif

Something WildJR
“Coming?” — Lulu/Audrey
Screen Shot 2013-07-10 at 3.30.47 PM.png

BoundSLW
“Do you have a bed somewhere?” — Violet
Jennifer Tilly bound-1996-03-g.jpg

Bull DurhamDaniel Carlson
“Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” —Crash Davis
tumblr_m981skC5Kz1qd8wdao1_500.gif

*Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of them is a line from TV. Deal with it.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • cowboy1234

    If you are gonna sneak in TV lines this one really has to make it ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Travis Leamons

    "Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." - John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery in The Rock)

  • DeltaJuliet

    Vesper Lynd: If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever met.
    James Bond: That's because you know what I can do with my little finger...

    ________

    Vesper: But it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine that you think of women as disposable pleasures rather than meaningful pursuits, so as charming as you are, I will be keeping my eye on our government’s money and off your perfectly formed arse.

    Bond: You noticed.
    Vesper: Even accountants have imaginations. How was your lamb?

    Bond: Skewered. One sympathizes.

    Vesper rises to her feet and gathers her bag.

    Vesper: Good evening Mr. Bond.

    Bond: Good evening Miss Lynd.

    Bond, Watches her leave, smiling.

  • ThatHarlot

    "Lock the door." - Brick, Cat on a Hot Roof. 'Nuff said

  • I realise this is likely to be unpopular given the tepid reception the movie received but I really liked this line from Friends With Kids:

    "Please, please, just let me fuck the shit out of you right now. And if you're not convinced afterwards that I am into you in every possible way a person can be into another person, then I promise I will never try to kiss you, or fuck you, or impregnate you ever again, as long as I live.

    Call me a weirdo, but I swooned.

  • Morgan_LaFai

    "Anybody got a match?" To Have and Have Not is the first thing I ever saw Bacall in and I fell in love at during that first scene. The line itself doesn't work out of context, but it was gods damned amazing in the film. Unfortunately, it really doesn't help me as I try and quit smoking.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I was shocked no one had put in "put your lips together and blow" line. Nineteen. She was NINETEEN. I'll be lucky to have that kind of poise by ninety.

    (oh, and I see , actually did post it just a little further down)

  • Morgan_LaFai

    It did eventually get posted, and it is the more famous line, but I will always prefer the introduction. The confidence and poise, the match throwing and catching, the looks from across the room. I know the post is about lines, and "put your lips together and blow" is the line, but I stand by my choice.

  • Ro

    How has no one suggested anything from Out of Sight? My vote is for the hotel bar scene:

    Karen: Well, this is your game, I've never played before.
    Jack: It's not a game. It's not something you play.
    Karen: Well, does this make any sense to you?
    Jack: It doesn't have to. It's something that happens. It's like seeing someone for the first time... like you could be passing on the street, and you look at each other and for a few seconds...there's this kind of a recognition... like you both know something. The next moment, the person's gone, and it's too late to do anything about it. And you always remember it, because it was there, and you let it go, and you think to yourself, "What if I had stopped? If I had said something?"...."What if, what if?" And it may only happen a few times in your life...Or once.
    Karen: Or once...How'd you find me?
    Jack: Uh...Called your room from downstairs.
    Karen: Oh. And if I had answered, what were you gonna say?
    Jack: I would say who I was, and do you remember me, and want to meet for a drink?
    Karen: If I remembered you. I came here looking for you. All right, so then I would have said yes, but for all you know, I could have had a SWAT team waiting for you... why would you trust me?
    Jack: It'd be worth the risk.
    Karen: You like taking risks.
    Jack: So do you.

  • ,

    "You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow."
    ---

    "Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere else."
    ---
    "What knockers!"

    "Sank you, doctor."

  • ,

    It's not from a movie or a TV show. A barback I know told us this very statuesque and very drunk blonde woman said to him:

    "I want to take you home and fuck you and make you breakfast."

  • Mrs. Julien

    My brother in law told me this story about himself... He was walking out of a bar and a woman but her leg up in front of him to stop him.

    Her: Where do you think you're going.
    Him: Home. You coming?

    And she went home with him.

    Even if it's not true, it is still an awesome story.

  • A Yankee meets a Southern gal. They go out into the pasture to make love.

    He takes off his clothes and hangs them on a tree. She takes off her dress and ties it around her ankle.

    He asks, "Why are you doing that?"

    She says, "Honey, by the time we through, we gonna be two mile from here."

  • llp

    God, Kevin Costner was sexy in the 80s. I had a thing for him from Silverado onwards - No Way Out, The Untouchables, Bull Durham. Sigh.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    "I mate for life. One day at a time." - Denys Finch-Hatton

  • muertemaria

    This makes me want to re-watch Torchwood.

  • Some Guy

    "Take me, Garth!"

    "Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket."

  • foolsage

    Archer: Do you not see me rocking this chiseled slab of hard man body? I mean come on. Are you gay or not?

    Ramon: I am, but you... you are so not my type.

    Archer: Hey! I am everybody's type!

    ***
    Lana: Well, go ahead and say it.

    Archer: What?

    Lana: That since we are going to die tomorrow, we should have sex.

    Archer: Are you kidding? After seeing a tiger get murdered? Lana, I'm not in the mood! I mean, if you want to, I can watch while you masturbate, but just so you know, my heart's not going to be into it. It's going to be with that tiger's family. But, you know...go ahead and start.

  • emmalita

    Sploosh.

  • I literally just watched Bull Durham this week for the first time (I know, I know), and that speech... whew! I loved Annie's little "Oh my" response. I mean, what else can you say to that??

  • John G.

    no, this is the best Ron Burgundy pickup line:

    " I don't normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney. I mean, that thing's good. I wanna be friends with it "

  • A friend of mine tried that on a girl at a bar and got punched by her boyfriend. I had to step in before things got out of hand.

  • John G.

    Did you do a cannonball to distract everyone?

  • No, I ate an entire wheel of cheese and then pooped in the bar's refrigerator. It was amazing, the staff wasn't even mad.

  • John G.

    I'm not even mad, I'm actually impressed. You're like a tiny Buddha covered in hair.

  • e jerry powell

    Wild at Heart:

    "Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt." -- Lula

  • Conor

    BARROWMAAAAAAAN!

    The best hetero pick-up line in history is delivered by an awesome gay guy.

    Bloody typical!

  • Sirilicious

    Skyfall
    SIlva fondles Bond.
    Silva: What's the regulation to cover this? Well, first time for everything
    Bond: What makes you think this is my first time?
    Silva: oh mister Bond!

  • Ponytail

    How, how can you have missed the interchange in "The Big Easy" ?! The one where she says something about not being very good at sex or something, and he says "Your luck's about to change, chere". It is kind of cheating though, because Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin could read any line and it would have sounded sexually confident.

  • Wigamer

    That, my friends, is the damn winner. And Dennis Quaid delivered that shit. I was in junior high and knew that was the real deal.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Oh Jesus, that scene, THAT SCENE!

    [with his hand under her skirt]
    Barkin: Stop that!
    Remy: What? That? or That?

    Sister Julien and I used to refer to him as Dennis "Take Me Now" Quaid.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Chasing Amy. The whole movie.

    I love you....I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But - I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't-I can't look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are.

    (And also this: "[on the phone with Holden after she paged him] One minute and five seconds; you are such my bitch."

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O...

  • Blain: This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.

  • One more!

    "You need kissing, badly, and by someone who knows how."

  • MichaelEhrgott

    Like a boss!... who did the kessel run in less than twelve parsecs.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Isn't that Gone With the Wind?

    No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly.
    That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.

    I think Han shouted something like "You could use a good kiss!"

  • MichaelEhrgott

    Yeah that's right. Sheesh, how could I mix those two up!? Lol. The actual exchange is this:

    Han Solo: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?
    Princess Leia: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.
    Han Solo: I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Han: "What's the matter, Princess? Afraid I'd leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?"
    Leia: "I'd just as soon kiss a wookie!"
    Han: "I can arrange that. *walks away, shouts back* You could use a good kiss!"

  • A lot of people are quoting the "I love you" "I know" exchange, but that's not nearly the sexiest exchange between the two. This one's better:

    "Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm all right."
    "Occasionally, maybe... when you aren't acting like a scoundrel."
    "Scoundrel? Scoundrel? I like the sound of that."
    "Stop that. My hands are dirty."
    "My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of?"
    "Afraid?"
    "You're trembling. "
    "I'm not trembling. "
    "You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life."
    "I happen to like nice men."
    "I can be nice."

    Ooooof.

  • Conor

    I always preferred this:

    Princess Leia: Let go, please.
    Han Solo: Don't get excited.
    Princess Leia: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
    Han Solo: Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else.

  • Slim

    Yep, that's the hot one.

  • Melissa Doucette

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Han Solo, my first love.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Mine too, Melissa. Mine, too.

  • Melissa Doucette

    My second love was James Bond. That's why I'm so fucked up over men!

  • DeltaJuliet

    I'm in that club too. Damn it.

  • Binky Jones

    Dick Tracy "I'll take you down to the station. Sweat you out under the lights."
    Breathless Mahoney "I sweat a lot better with the lights off."

  • seth

    Princess Leia: I love you...
    Han Solo: I know.

  • lowercase_ryan
  • Captain_Tuttle

    One of the best movies of all time & the reason I put my sunglasses in the back of my t-shirt collar.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    AND in front of her dad. Booyah.

  • lowercase_ryan

    that's the part that slayed me.

  • MGMcD

    You win.

  • sean

    I wish I could up-vote that a hundred times.

  • Theodora K Mullins

    You want to fuck me Tony?- Scarface

    I love you, and I’m about to boldly go where many men have gone before-Almost Famous (and i know penny was all overdosed but still)

  • Mrs. Julien

    Ned: You can stand here with me if you want but you'll have to agree not to talk about the heat.
    Matty: I'm a married woman.
    Ned: Meaning what?
    Matty: Meaning I'm not looking for company.
    Ned: Then you should have said I'm a happily married woman.

    Matty: Would you get me a paper towel or something? Dip it in some cold ater.
    Ned: Right away. I'll even wipe if off for you.
    Matty: You don't want to lick it?

    Body Heat

  • firedmyass

    Oh good god... that movie (and Cat People) kicked an adolescent me RIGHT in the goddam neck...

  • emmalita

    Yep, those two movies. And because if there is a god, it's a smart-ass god, I saw both of them with my parents.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I like the Top Gun one TK picked.

    But you want sexually confident, Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct smoking that cig.

    "What are you going to do...Arrest me for smoking?"
    (Legs opened)

  • Mrs. Julien

    Lynn Bracken: You're the first man in five years who didn't tell me I look like Veronica Lake inside of a minute.

    Bud White: You look better than Veronica Lake.

    L.A. Confidential

  • kirbyjay

    I kinda liked
    BW: Why me?
    LB: I don't know
    Something about that scene....

  • That movie put Russell Crowe in my Always and Forever list. Holy Godtopus, those arms.

  • troublesometots

    That.

    It's not easy for me to erase the memory of Russell in a Girdle AKA Robin Hood but I will always have a warm feeling in the pit of my stomcah for Bud White.

  • That, and Gladiator. And Master and Commander. Ooooof.

  • troublesometots

    Oh no doubt! Naval uniforms and leather skirts are both swoonworthy ensembles. But there is just something about a man in a fedora....

    And also, the arms :)

  • Mrs. Julien

    He, and by "he" I mean "Godtopus, those arms", would have been on my Pajiba Ten 15 years ago.

  • kirbyjay

    For all the love that is Russell Crowe, why doesn't he make the Pajiba 10?

  • Wigamer

    How do you know all of the things in my head? Voo-doo?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Her reaction is priceless, too. She just goes... a little.

    And then when she lies back on the bed and he straddles her. In the name of all that is holy, that was one of the most erotic things I had ever seen. [tearing sound] My stays have rent themselves.

  • Wigamer

    I am generally not a Russell Crowe fan, but Bud White is one conflicted mess of hot-ass sexiness.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Until he beats her up at least.

  • kirbyjay

    I dunno Mrs. J, that scene was perfection. Try as he might to overcome his childhood and do the right thing he still had a little more of his father in him than he thought, and you knew he would never do it again.

  • Mrs. Julien

    It was honest, I agree. It still made me very uncomfortable.

  • Wigamer

    Well, yeah. Until then. All the men were sorta rapey and abusive, weren't they?

  • lowercase_ryan

    This whole scene from the last seduction

    Bridget Gregory: Could you leave? Please?
    Mike Swale: I haven't finished charming you yet.
    Bridget Gregory: You haven't started.
    Mike Swale: Gimme a chance.
    Bridget Gregory: Look, go find yourself a nice little cowgirl and make nice little cowbabies and leave me alone.
    Mike Swale: I'm hung like a horse. Think about it.
    [pause]
    Bridget Gregory: Let's see.
    Mike Swale: Excuse me?
    Bridget Gregory: Mr. Ed, let's see.
    Mike Swale: Look, I tried to be nice. I can see that's something you're not...
    Bridget Gregory: No, I'm trying. I can be very nice when I try. Sit down.
    Mike Swale: OK, maybe we just got off to a bad start. I know plenty of people -
    [Bridget unzips his fly]
    Mike Swale: What are you doing?
    Bridget Gregory: I believe what we're looking for is a certain horse-like quality?

    Glaring omission.

  • Jim

    We have been using that exchange from My Blue Heaven since we saw it back in the day. We alternate who gets to deliver Shaldeen's "uuunoooooo."

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Hemingway:
    "I believe that love that is true and real, creates a respite from death.
    All cowardice comes from not loving or not loving well, which is the
    same thing. And then the man who is brave and true looks death squarely
    in the face, like some rhino-hunters I know or Belmonte, who is truly
    brave... It is because they make love with sufficient passion, to push
    death out of their minds... until it returns, as it does, to all men...
    and then you must make really good love again."

    this started my lady-boner for Corey Stoll.

    DAMNIT... I didn't put him on my LIST!!!!!!!!!!!

  • AudioSuede

    Jesus, "Bound." Just hearing the title makes it hard for me to walk straight.

  • klingonfree

    me too.

    And I'm a chic.

  • ,

    C'est chic: Le freak?

  • Green Lantern

    Freak out.

  • "Nice boys don't kiss like that."
    "Oh, yes, they fucking do."

  • DeltaJuliet

    Sploosh. Every.single.time.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Okay, you are the Queen of This.

    I have an Outlander quote, but I guess I have to wait for the TV series.

  • Side note: Mrs. Julien, I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only Outlander fan! I've got a mad crush on Jamie Fraser - in fact, I drive my friends a little nuts because I talk about Jamie and Claire like they're real people.

  • Mrs. Julien

    We have FB group: Je Suis Pajiba.

  • Professor Sara

    Hey, I'm reading Outlander for the first time! Put it down to read this article, in fact. It's extremely quotable, isn't it?

  • Mrs. Julien

    It certainly is. My favourite line is from book 6 and it isn't immediately referring to sex but GOD DAMN is it one of the sexiest things I've ever read. I may have grunted.

  • troublesometots

    Could you be persuaded to share if asked really nicely?

    While I have a deep and lasting love for all things Fraser, I struggled with the later books because of my passionate distaste for all things Roger and Brianna. So now I'm really curious but can't face re-reading 1,500 pages to find the Outlander quote.

    Please?

  • Professor Sara

    I'm thousands and thousands of pages away from book 6, but I'll get there. Oh, I'll get there.

  • "Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know
    this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It
    breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things
    perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not
    us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the
    wrong people and *die*. The storybooks are *bullshit*. Now I want you to
    come upstairs with me and *get* in my bed!"

  • DeltaJuliet

    I think that was the only time I was ever hot for Nick Cage. Hell, *I* would have jumped him at that point.

  • Wigamer

    Yep. Nailed it. Like a wolf without a paw or a bride without a head.

  • Leelee

    Absolutely spot on.
    I will always have a very warm place in my heart (/nether regions) for Mr Cage in that film.

  • Mrs. Julien

    GOD, YES!

  • toblerone

    Crazy Stupid Love:

    [after storming out into the rain from her celebration party Hannah goes back to where she met Jacob, she finds him and kisses him passionately]
    Hannah: Do you remember me?
    Jacob Palmer: Yeah.
    Hannah: Still find me attractive?
    Jacob Palmer: Yes.
    Hannah: Still wanna take me home?
    Jacob Palmer: Yeah.
    [she kisses him again]
    Hannah: Let's go.

    Hannah: I'm R-rated sexy.

  • melissa

    "*Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of them is a line from TV. Deal with it." but nobody truly cares because Torchwood. (man, Burn Gorman is magic. He is not traditionally attractive and his character was a selfish ass most days, but he had some truly sexy moments in that show all the same.)

  • BWeaves

    Um, no, sorry. I just can't get moist over Owen. Now Jack and Ianto? Hot.

  • Guest

    "I've cum in that mouth." ("Secret Smile")

    http://cybelethebadwolf.tumblr...

  • Calla Dain

    You just had to go and ruin it, didn't you?

  • Guest

    "Zombie wood, people. Spend 90 minutes in Zombieland, and you will walk out with an all-out pound-a-stranger up against a hospital wall zombie erection. And you will ride that wood until there’s hair in your teeth, blood on the wall, and it’s time to consult a doctor because your four hours are over, motherfucker, and you’re still sporting a full-on zombie chubby."

    -Dustin Rowles... Zombieland review

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