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The 12 Manliest Movie Posters In The History Of Ever

By Jodi Clager | Seriously Random Lists | September 18, 2013 | Comments ()


tom-hardy-warrior-training-shirtless-bane.jpg

Manly: 1. Having qualities traditionally attributed to a man. 2. Belonging to or befitting a man; masculine.

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1985-invasion-u.s.a.-poster1.jpg

2009-ong_bak_two-2.jpg

bane-rise-poster.jpg

black-death-poster-bisley2.jpg

conan-bloody-poster.jpg

drive-large.jpg

expen2-char-poster1.jpg

pain-and-gain-teaser-poster.jpg

skyfall-imax-poster-1.jpg

the-grey-poster1.jpg

escape_from_new_york___revamped_by_nicolehayley-d4xp1pa.jpg



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  • Salzigtal

    Harry Dean Stanto?

  • Quanion

    That poster for "Drive" is the most blatant misrepresentation ever.

  • Kathleen Allen

    chuck norris and his creepy flesh coloured beard and his skinny jeans and bad blow out? bitches, please...mr. lee, one gun, and a suit. ftw

  • Quatermain

    If you're going to talk about manly men and you mention Ryan Gosling, but don't mention John Wayne or Clint Eastwood, you're doing it wrong.

  • Chance Boudreaux

    ...

  • Edwina the Magnificent

    Van Damme's form in that poster is awful, liable to break his dainty ankle.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Did anyone else get drawn into a staring contest with Liam Neeson?

  • bastich

    Did you win?

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Well, I blinked first, but I did get to stare at Liam Neeson for an extended period of time - I'm gonna have to call that a draw.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Never go up against Neeson when wolves are on the line!

  • Lily

    I still can't get over how stupid Bane ended up being.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Yup. The poster is badass, until I think of the voice - then I start to giggle.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Daniel Craig. Daniel. Craig. I'm getting lightheaded. I need to loosen my stays and recline. Where is my hartshorn?

  • NateMan

    Is that code for Womanly-Pleasure-Making-Device?

  • Mrs. Julien

    It's a fancy term for smelling salts. Really, NateMan, I endeavour to be ladylike in my conduct. Any references I made to autoeroticism would be positively opaque, if they were present at all.

  • NateMan

    Well to be fair when I googled it I was informed that it's made from the horns of the male red deer. That sounds pretty phallio-centric to me!

  • Mrs. Julien

    You know, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

  • Active Misogyny

    These are men.

  • BlackRabbit

    Manly men. Men in tights!

  • Wait a minute. Is that French on the Ong-Bak 2 poster? Rejected!!!

  • KZoeT

    No one rocks a pair of high-waist mom jeans like Norris.

  • Bert_McGurt

    "Yeah, I'm wearing an unbuttoned sleeveless denim shirt. What do you mean 'Why did you bother to tuck it in'?"

  • Sara_Tonin00

    All I can hear is Eddie Murphy doing his gay Mr. T routine to Chuck Norris: "Looking mighty fine in them jeans, boy!"

  • Mrs. Julien

    Those things are going to slice him in half if he tries to sit down.

  • ViciousTrollop

    Steve McQueen in Bullitt. Steve McQueen in anything. Steve McQueen in general.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    The movie that inspired me to scare the shit out of my driver's ed teacher. I mean, why wouldn't you turn on two wheels if you could?

  • ViciousTrollop

    That sounds like an awesome story!

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I thought so. My parents and the instructor...not so much.

  • emmalita

    The car is his penis.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Works for me, I dreamed of both when I was a kid.
    Sorry, had to take the bait.

  • emmalita

    It's just a statement of fact. That car is exploding out of his crotch. In a manly way.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I agree, but "the car is his penis" is pretty much just a great summation of Steve McQueen in general.

    Well, motorcycles were also his penis.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I never knew he was diphallic!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Nice "double overhead cam".

  • Mrs. Julien

    Steve McQueen beating up his wives?

  • ViciousTrollop

    He beat his wives?!? Ugh. All of my dreams are crushed. At least I still have Paul Newman.

  • Mrs. Julien

    He threw Allie McGraw over a second floor balcony into the pool below. That's the first one that comes to mind.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Well Paul did cheat on Joanne, but he's so beautiful, I'm tempted to just pretend it didn't happen.

  • Mrs. Julien

    but he's so beautiful AND DEAD , I'm tempted to just pretend it didn't happen.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Alright, let's just forget I said anything. I know nothing of Paul Newman's life, please accept this peace offering:

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    So has anyone seen the original Emmanuelle? If you have, you'll know the scene I'm talking about. That really, seriously confused my penis.

    Well. Confusion isn't the word. I think it was just the first major signal of some bi tendencies on my part.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I just meant that it doesn't matter anymore and if it did, you could be one of the ones he cheated with: WIN/WIN

  • ViciousTrollop

    *lalalala* I can't hear you!

  • emmalita

    I miss Max so much.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Hey, one of my favorite manly men is Robert Mitchum. If I can love that SOB, than Newman is practically a saint by comparison.

  • 724wd

    damn, i need that DRIVE poster!

  • As I've said before, nothing is more manly than breaking Batman (other than being Batman, obviously). So the Bane poster should win. But the Bond poster is pretty good. Close runner up.

  • Ben

    In Ong Bak 2, he fights someone on top of an elephant, then kicks them off the elephants head and they land splayed out between the elephants tusks, then he knee drops on them from the top of the elephants heads smashing them through the tusks... of an elephant.

    That will always and forever be more manly then anything that has happend in Batman ever.

  • TCH

    Escape From New York.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Escape from New York is just legitimately a beautifully done poster. Even without the testosterone seeping from the paper.

  • George Tarleton

    Seriously, that poster is amazing.

  • Fredo

    I know. I want one too.

  • Milly

    And how you could leave off The Stath?! The Stath alone could have a top 20 manly poster topic.

    Case in point: Bald, stubble, hairy chest, sports wear, car battery.

    http://www.tribute.ca/tribute_...

  • Milly
  • BWeaves

    Invasion USA: OK, is it just me, or could you photoshop Farrah Fawcett's head on Chuck Norris' body and have it work as a Charlie's Angel poster?

  • Milly

    Yup, not manly at all. Looks very 'Cool 80's Dad' and it doesn't help that Chuck Norris is an eejit.

  • emmalita

    Bulk up that cleavage and you've got a stew.

  • Allijo

    I think you need to make this a baker's dozen list and add the 300 movie poster.

    I'm aware it has Port-a-Potty Gerry on it, but it's mantastic.

  • oilybohunk7

    All I can focus on in the Invasion U.S.A. poster is the skin tight Canadian Tuxedo.

  • Skyfall.

    And that Bane poster. Damn.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    I remember when the Bane poster was first released. I'd never been turned on by a back before that day.

  • AvaLehra

    I think I just sprouted a mustache looking at those.

  • Berry

    I'm pretty sure I'm actually a dude now. Be right back, must go write my name with pee somewhere.

  • Uriah_Creep

    As a dude, you can actually use the word "piss", too. As in, "Imma gonna write my name in piss."

  • Berry

    The more you know...

  • NateMan

    Be grateful; the world is now your urinal. Use it responsibly.

  • Berry

    The possibilities! They're overwhelming. I'm overwhelmed. And a little scared, not gonna lie.

    And thank you for the tips, guys. So very sweet of you.

    (And since I'm really twelve: ha ha, I said "tip" in a penis conversation.)

  • bastich

    Also, memorize these words: "I'm sorry, that's never happened to me before."

    (Erectile dysfunction! AMIRIGHTGUYS?!?)

  • NateMan

    Yeaaaaaah... You're on your own there. Unless whisky dick counts and then... Yeah. *head hangs in shame*

  • bastich

    Stay strong, brother...I'll send you the number for my support group....

  • Berry

    I'm pretty sure I'm just going to play it like this:

    http://www.darcomic.com/2008/0...

    There's really nothing that could go wrong with this plan, right?

  • bastich

    Thanks for the link! So many great ideas!

    /rips off pants, runs outside

  • AvaLehra

    Meanwhile, no one is telling me how to shave. :(

  • bastich

    No shaving for you!!! This is your future:

  • AvaLehra

    You mean like this?

  • bastich

    Brilliant!

    Next step: Grow a long enough beard so that you could work as a mascot for one of those cheap T-shirt websites. Every dude's dream....

  • AvaLehra

    You mean like this? (slacker)

  • AvaLehra

    All right...I was going to Photoshop a beard onto baby me, but I actually have work to do. Boo.

  • bastich

    You win. You are now an official Bro.

    (I never considered for a moment that you were using Photoshop -- I thought you had a little girl and a fake facial hair set stashed away for just such occasions.)

  • Berry

    Oops, I've created a monster.

  • bastich

    Mua-ha-ha-ha!!! No elevator is safe!!!

  • NateMan

    What a wonderful and accurate comic!

  • PerpetualIntern

    "I'm so excited! I'm so SCARED!"

  • emmalita

    That's the estrogen talking!

  • Berry

    Ooh, no more periods! Score! Although, on the other hand, no more regular excuse for chocolate and ice-cream orgies either.

  • NateMan

    Please. Once you have a dick you don't need an excuse. You just eat the ice cream and chocolate, and if anyone says anything point emphatically at your genitals. A "Suck it!" is often helpful but not required.

  • bastich

    And be very careful when you zip up your pants.

  • NateMan

    Indeed. That's a pain you never forget.

  • All very manly indeed.

    If only this was a movie, however, they'd all be fucked:

    http://www.tvovermind.com/wp-c...

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