The 10 Most Insulting, Offensive Remake Casting Choices of All Time

The Most Insulting, Offensive Remake Casting Choices of All Time

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (37)

I’ve always liked Kevin Bacon. What’s not to like? Over a 30+ year career, he’s managed to be prolific without being overexposed. But it wasn’t until I saw the trailer for the Footloose remake last night that I realized just how much I like Kevin Bacon. He’s good in nearly everything he’s in (and this late career turn into villainy has been grand). And when you put Kevin Bacon up against some punk kid named Kenny Wormald with a shitty Boston accent, you begin to realize how phenomenal Kevin Bacon really was in a role that didn’t give him a lot to work with. This Wormald kid, though? Kind of makes you wish they’d gone with their original choice, in Zac Efron. Or a human-sized boil.

There have obviously been a number of bad remakes over the years, but — inspired by the Footloose remake — what we’re looking at today are remakes with the largest disparity in talent between the original actor or actress and the actor or actress cast in the same role in the remake. The biggest step down in class, if you will.

10 The Italian Job: Michael Caine > Mark Wahlberg

9. The Longest Yard: Burt Reynolds > Adam Sandler

8. Arthur: Dudley Moore > Russell Brand

7. Psycho : Anthony Perkins > Vince Vaughn

6. Footloose: Kevin Bacon > Kenny Wormald

5. Just Go With It (Cactus Flower): Walter Matthau , Ingrid Bergman > Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston

4. Are We Done Yet? (Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House) : Cary Grant > Ice Cube

3. The Women: Norma Shearer, Rosalind Russell, Joan Crawford > Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes

2.Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (Mr .Deeds): Gary Cooper > Adam Sandler

1. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (Guess Who): Sidney Poitier > Ashton Kutcher

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Comments

You have the wrong Mark Wahlberg movie on here. I think you meant to say The Truth About Charlie with Mark Wahlberg subbing in for CAREY FUCKING GRANT. That's at least 7000 times worse.

Posted by: Will at June 22, 2011 3:24 PM

I don't know whether this counts, but I think subbing in Hayden Christensen for whoever played the ghost of Good Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi was about as thorough a canon-rape as you will ever see.

I don't even know the original guy's name, but his one minute of total screen time outweighs Christensen's entire body of work.

Posted by: StoatCat at June 22, 2011 3:25 PM

I had blocked Guess Who from my memory. I looked it up and am now very sad. Commencing re-erasure of memory.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 22, 2011 3:31 PM

Great list.

I submit The Grinch - Jim Carrey couldn't even do justice Boris Karlof's voice.

Posted by: Cindy at June 22, 2011 3:33 PM

I think Zac Efron made a great move by dropping out. He knew no one can replace THE BACON. Plus it no doubt would have been another bomb for the kid.

Posted by: junierizzle at June 22, 2011 3:35 PM

I can't find the automatic noise ads that started when I came to this page. Fuck off.

Posted by: Brenton at June 22, 2011 3:41 PM

That would be Sebastian Shaw, StoatCat. Yes. I'm a Star Wars geek and I know it. I shall refrain from one of my typical soapboxes, today, though.

No I won't. Not entirely.

SERIOUSLY, GEORGE?! What this fucking necessary? It didn't make the ending any better. All it did was remind us of the ass raping that didn't occur in that third movie which doesn't exist. You gorramned pile of rock salt! I. HATE. YOU!

I'm busily equipping an army of 5,000 velociraptors with sharks and chainsaws and I WILL sic them on you.

@!)%($*^%@)(&*#)(%$)*&%)(*

Posted by: lubeg at June 22, 2011 3:43 PM

Ugh, I know! The Automatic Noise Ads are such a step down from Rolling Banner Ads in the remake.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 22, 2011 3:44 PM

How many classic films has Sandler remade (and remade terribly) at this point?

Posted by: John G. at June 22, 2011 3:49 PM

While I don't disagree about the overall uselessness of a Footloose remake, is it really fair to call someone's real accent "shitty?" I think that's just how the kid talks. Early Marky Marky. I'm just asking for future references on the rules of things. Or are you saying Boston accents as a whole are shitty? That's something else that could be what you're saying.

Posted by: Tori G at June 22, 2011 3:56 PM

Is Keanu Reeves still going to be Spike in the Cowboy Bebop movie? Cause there is your winner. Keanu Reeves is worse than a cartoon.

Hell put up Chloe Moretz in the remake of Let The Right One In. Hell put in anyone in that remake.

Posted by: googergieger at June 22, 2011 3:57 PM

If we're going after Meg Ryan, may I offer:
D.O.A.
Pamela Britton > Meg Ryan

Posted by: Jerry at June 22, 2011 3:57 PM

Oh, and which was worse?
Sleuth:
Laurence Olivier > Michael Caine
or
Michael Caine > Jude Law

Posted by: Jerry at June 22, 2011 4:00 PM

Huh, that is his accent. But he's from Stoughton, which explains why it doesn't sound like (what Hollywood thinks is) a Boston accent. I think the problem is more that he mumbles. Or that he's actually a professional dancer rather than an actor. That sort of sums up the entire problem with the Footloose remake.

Also, #1 is spot on. No greater gap exists than that (please, god, no greater gap than that!).

Posted by: RebaSays at June 22, 2011 4:05 PM

I didn't even know 4 and 5 were remakes. Not that I will watch either in any case.

Posted by: Paultera at June 22, 2011 4:27 PM

I just watched the trailer and I really thought his accent was some sort of bad aussie accent! Oh that movie is only going to be watchable super hung over on a Sunday morning so you sleep through most of it. But now I totally want to see the original bacon again.

Posted by: Muertemaria at June 22, 2011 4:32 PM

I love Kevin Bacon, and he's definitely very talented, but do we really need to make a fuss about a Footloose remake? That movie was shit back then, and it's bigger shit now. Let's save our righteous indignation for something a bit more worthy.

Posted by: jimbob at June 22, 2011 4:49 PM

Not exactly remakes but...

Kevin Costner for Errol Flynn in Robin Hood

Hayden Christensen & Ewan McGregor for Darth Vader and Alex Guinness in the Star Wars Prequels

Brandon Routh & Kate Bosworth for Christopher Reeves & Margot Kidder in Superman Returns

Casting choice that actually worked:

James McAvoy & Michael Fassbender for Patrick Stewart & Ian McKellan in X-men First Class

Posted by: John W at June 22, 2011 4:55 PM

I kind of love the remake of The Italian Job.

*ducks*

Posted by: beckster at June 22, 2011 5:04 PM

Seriously, Mark Wahlberg wears a beret in The Truth About Charlie. A BERET. I'm not making this up people.

Posted by: Will at June 22, 2011 5:15 PM

Ralph Macchio > The spawn of Will Smith
Pat Morita > Jackie Chan

There is only one Karate Kid.

Posted by: idgiepug at June 22, 2011 5:18 PM

[Runs forward, uses own body as a shield to deflect oncoming bullets]

Don't worry beckster, I've got your back on this one.

[Falls to the ground as clothes steadily become soaked with blood]

I mean, there's Statham...and Mos Def playing deaf and...

[Spits blood]

...and Seth Green as the guy who invented Napster who wasn't Justin Timberlake...and Edward Norton pretending to be Snidely Whiplash...

[Gasps for air]

...and Charlize Theron not ugly-ing it up...and Mark Wahlberg approaching semblance of a human-being...and.....REVENGE...and...and...it's SO worth dying for

[Dies]

Posted by: penelope at June 22, 2011 5:51 PM

John W - i would say that the casting of mcgregor in the prequels was the only tolerable thing about them.
as to the rest, i choose not to recognize or acknowledge the existence of any of these movies...

Posted by: the Fatman at June 22, 2011 5:51 PM

I am so grateful someone else mentioned Mark Wahlberg as Cary Grant's Charade character. INEXCUSABLE.

Posted by: Mei-Lu at June 22, 2011 6:11 PM

For the record, I liked Guess Who.
And I had NO IDEA that Just Go With It was a remake of Cactus Flower!! oh, the humanity.

Posted by: Stella at June 22, 2011 11:57 PM

Aww I like The Italian Job... but I kinda see your point about the talent difference. Still, Ed Norton, Charlize Theron, Statham and Mos Def made that a pretty fun, if not great, movie.

Posted by: Even Stevens at June 23, 2011 12:30 AM

Where is Alfie? It doesn't matter the generation, Michael Caine beats Jude Law every time. I'm 27, shallow, and I watch Jersey Show... but I still know that.

Posted by: brdkelli at June 23, 2011 2:27 AM

I'm just going to throw in Tyler Perry replacing Morgan Freeman as Alex Cross. I realize that isn't a remake. The same can be said for Harrison Ford replacing Alec Baldwin who was, in turn, replaced by Ben Affleck.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 23, 2011 4:06 AM

You missed one:

Get Carter: Michael Caine > Sylvester Stallone.

Posted by: KV at June 23, 2011 1:20 PM

Just a little remark in regards to Bacon only playing the villain in his later career moves... I still love White Water Summer! He was a great villain in that and I'm pretty sure that was one of his earlier forays into the acting world

Posted by: Lulu at June 24, 2011 4:01 AM

The Italian Job remake is the GREATEST car ad of all time. I always want to go out and buy a Mini Cooper after watching. An actual urge. If I knew where the local dealership was, I'd probably be out the door. So, ignorance is salvation.

Posted by: Wembley at June 26, 2011 2:13 PM

I'd love to say something acerbic but nr 1 is hilarious! Poitier to Kutcher?! hahahaha. Seriously, this is what it has come to? What's next? They're gonna remake Apocalypse Now with some tween?

Posted by: io at June 27, 2011 3:09 AM

This list is awesome! It has just the right amount of Sandler...but I don't know if Kutcher is worst...I would have called it a tie.

Posted by: James at June 27, 2011 11:16 PM

Planet of the Apes: Wahlberg
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Willy Wonka) and the Chocolate Factory: Johnny Depp
The Pink Panther: Steve Martin

Posted by: Billdog at June 28, 2011 6:51 PM

Much better were Heston, Wilder and Sellers

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Posted by: Success Grant at July 31, 2011 7:02 PM

You Have a lot of intriguing ideas! Maybe I should to consider doing this by my self.

Posted by: DJ Taylormade at August 4, 2011 3:34 PM

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The Most Insulting, Offensive Remake Casting Choices of All Time

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