Pajiba

Andrew Upton's Inner Monologue:

Yeah, my face looks like a half-deflated bag and my hair looks like a chicken died on my head and then a pigeon shit on it, but I'm taking her on the Pink Line Train to O Town on the regular so you can't say SHIT to me, motherfucker.

TB, added points for using London Underground nomenclature in your post.

I didn't even know Robert Deniro was married.

Good to see fairly ordinary (looking) people have a shot too.

*small correction to Andrew Upton's Inner Monologue*

Yeah, my face looks like a half-deflated bag one of the creepy-ass puppets from Genesis' "Land of Confusion" video".

Seriously, look at that thing. Superman, where are you now?

Notes:

1) Did Adam Sandler marry a Jennifer Aniston clone?
2) Deborra is 13 years older than Hugh Jackman. Apparently Cougar>Wolverine.
3) Bale. I got nothing else. Baaaaaale.

I assume Russell Crowe's wife is too busy ducking for the cameras to catch her.

Oh shit! I only knew Matt Damon and Denzel's wife - but not sure I would have remembered their names if asked earlier..
It's too bad there isn't any info on the marriages, only that they have been lengthy - but how long is that in each case? And who are the spouses?? I guess I'll just have to do some digging on my own.

I don't think I can comment on DeNiro's picture without inciting a riot or, at the very least, a spirited hubbub.

D-Day NAILED the Andrew Upton look. He's like the Where Are They Now picture in a DC Follies retrospective. Cate must have a Schlubby Brit fetish.

And Meryl Streep is keeping Don Gummer from hitting on drunk 20 year old tourists at tiki bars throughout the Hawaiian Islands, so good for her . . . you know what? He's probably doing that anyway. Keep the dream alive, Gum-Dog!

Kballs - You're a spirited hubbub.

And that is the most appropos and synchronicitous of all the "you're a ..." comments I have ever taken the opportunity to cheapen this website with.

But not the outer ones?

it's crazy these actors are amongst the most famous in the world and who knew they're married.
That wants to say the famous people can have a private life

Oh, and I'm totally jealous of Don Gummer. It's not a cougar thing, purely a Meryl thing.

From what I understand, the celebrity marriages where the spouses are not both in The Industry (but both have careers) tend to be stronger and last longer. And it's borne up by similar data by other couples in the same careers - there's an element of competition between the spouses that can be unhealthy.

That said, it's time I came out of the closet. I am Jodie Foster's schlubby middle-aged computer geek husband.

Hugh Jackman's wife must get 10,000 evil death stares whenever he's out with him from women thinking "I'm much hotter than she is. What the fuck?!"

And yes, Cate Blanchett married a man who looks like he's got a half-deflated Michellin Man head.

The one I can't get is Elizabeth Banks and Max Handelman. Wouldn't that make her Elizabeth Handelman?

All the same, mazel tov! And thank you for not shoving your personal lives into our pop culture consciousness!

I guess we can finally conclude that Hugh Jackman is gay. I already had my suspicions after seeing him sing and dance at the Academy Awards Show, but now that I've seen a picture of his wife beard, there isn't a doubt left in my mind. No man who could be with literally any woman in the world would select that unless he were secretely gay.

Start mourning now ladies. It's only a matter of time before Alexander Skarsgard comes out, and you don't want to have to suffer it all at once.

(sorry, but...)

Both Deborra-Lee Furness and Danielle Spencer are popular in Australia.

cydeleida, you just caused millions of geeks to cry out in horror.

Jackman's wife was in an Australian show with him, he was an inmate and she was the prison's shrink or something like that. She was the bigger star at the time, and he wasn't nearly as hot as he is today, so technically she was the one slumming.

The Hugh Jackman situation is bumming me out. Is that his mom?

There's also Clive Owen and whoever that chick is he's married to. Pretty sure she's not famous.

I never took Millepied for straight, but then I'm a bad judge of heterosexuality in concert dance. Also, I mean, Portman also dated Devendra Banhart, who I also never took for straight.

Isn't Mrs. Russell Crowe famous in Australia?

And Cillian Murphy, his wife? She is... not famous?

I saw Andrew Upton in Sydney Theatre Company. He is a very nice guy. I think Cate have a great husband.

I think it's funny that most women who like Hugh Jackman are probably pretty ugly and overweight, yet on seeing a picture of his normal-looking wife they choose to call him gay. They should be rejoicing in the fact that he might not be completely shallow and their lard-asses have a chance, shouldn't they?

Luciana and Matt and Denzel and Pauletta all seem to possess the same disdain for the camera. Maybe that is the secret to a successful relationship: hating the same things.

Andrew Upton, Deborah-Lee Furness and Danielle Spencer are all famous in Australia. The former two especially. Upton is an incredible playwright. Not a household name I guess, but anyone who knows anything about Aussie theatre knows of him. Deborah-Lee Furness was more famous than Jackman when they met, and she's starred in some good Aussie films recently (Blessed, Beautiful, Jindabyne).

The one you should also include is Clive Owen's wife. She looks like me and got him. How the fuck did that happen?

The one you should also include is Clive Owen's wife. She looks like me and got him. How the fuck did that happen?

There is hope for me yet: the hope that she will sucked into a time portal, and, after a proper mourning period, I'll be allowed to have a go at him.

Then again, I'll bet someone, somewhere, wished Liam Neeson was single and we see what happened there. I should stop putting negative vibes out into the universe and instead be happy for these married couples.

Right? Please tell me I'm right.