The 10 Current TV Characters with Whom I'd Most Like to Procreate with Behind an Institution of Secondary Education

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (76)

10. Daenerys Targaryen

9. Laurie Keller

8. Lana Kane

7. Jane

6. Robin Scherbatsky

5. Britta Perry

4. Janette Desautel

3. Sarah Walker

2. Amy Pond

1. Winona Hawkins

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10. Tranny

9. Mmmm

8. Dude

7. Cartoon

6. Maybe

5. Big head

4. Horse face

3. Big maybe

2. Definitely

1. Meh, after a six-pack

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 28, 2011 12:08 PM

From that list: Lana Kane
Cuz I really wanna see her big guns.
No not the guns in the holsters.
The sweater guns.

Posted by: logan at April 28, 2011 12:10 PM

Ladies, step it up!! Where's our list?

1) Raylin Givens

...........................

Sorry, cant. think.now.brain/box overload

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 28, 2011 12:11 PM

Jane....or better yet Denise. I would let her punch me in the face if it that's what it takes

Posted by: Minto at April 28, 2011 12:12 PM

No Annie Edison? What the shit, Rowles?

Posted by: Internet magpie at April 28, 2011 12:14 PM

The actress that plays Daenerys is drop dead gorgeous in her natural brunette state. Like breathtakingly so. And while I mostly agree with the number one choice, they've done something with Winona's hair this season that isn't quite right. It's very flat and greasy looking.

Posted by: chad at April 28, 2011 12:18 PM

Dustin - That's a whole lotta blondes. Fascinating.

Posted by: tamatha at April 28, 2011 12:18 PM

Laurie Keller is my favorite. I want to go out for drinks with her and cheat at trivia.

Posted by: Julie at April 28, 2011 12:21 PM

Also note how there's no black women.

/nice list, Adolf

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 28, 2011 12:21 PM

BSlim, dude, when do you think this is, the 90's? There are no black women on TV!

Posted by: Nobody's Little Weasel at April 28, 2011 12:27 PM

Isn't Lana Kane black?

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 28, 2011 12:30 PM

Lana Kane is a cartoon, but Aisha Tyler is black, and she's definitely procreatable.

Yes, the lack of Annie Edison displeases me.

Posted by: RobP at April 28, 2011 12:38 PM

BEN WYATT!

Eric Northman.

Don Draper.

Coach Taylor.

Tim Riggins.

All of the above. Repeatedly.

I win.

Posted by: Figgy at April 28, 2011 12:40 PM

I am confounded by the love for Winona. I find her to be annoying, daft and completely unworthy of Raylin's attention. And I'm 90% confident that's not just the jealously talking.

Posted by: SBrown at April 28, 2011 12:44 PM

Jim Halpert!

This One Guy On One of the Univison Novelas Whose Name I Can't Remember But Who is Really Hot!

Whoever Sean Bean Plays on Game of Thrones Though I Haven't Seen the Show But Sean Bean is Always Hot!

I think that's 10. No, 8. Hmm. Fine, put Don Draper on there twice.

Posted by: Figgy at April 28, 2011 12:47 PM

I watched "Choke" the other day for the first time in a few years. I was completely caught off guard when Britta Perry came on stage in a topless bar and showed off her boobies.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at April 28, 2011 12:52 PM

Seriously, figgy? You lead with the HILF? Over Draper? It's like I've never even met you!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 28, 2011 12:52 PM

Well I just spent 3 hours re-re-re-re-re-watching the current season of Parks and Rec, so the Hedgehog is right up there at the moment. Yesterday is was Eric. Don understands.

Posted by: Figgy at April 28, 2011 12:56 PM

"Dustin - That's a whole lotta blondes. Fascinating."

tamatha, If Dustin's wife isn't blonde, she's probably giving him the side-eye right about now.

Posted by: An Atlantan at April 28, 2011 12:58 PM

"Jane", aka Eliza Coupe, has been high on my list since the ill-fated ninth season of Scrubs. She still takes a backseat to "Annie Adderall", dammit.
No Annie = No List.

Posted by: Spender at April 28, 2011 1:00 PM

And my list of male characters include Damon and Stefan Salvatore. Of course.

Posted by: An Atlantan at April 28, 2011 1:01 PM

WINONA?! Are you kidding!? Winona is AWFUL. Her annoyingness negates her beauty, she is just so fucking hopeless. UGH. Winona. I'm so disgusted.

Posted by: Nadine at April 28, 2011 1:04 PM

10. Dr. O'Hara (Nurse Jackie)

9. Ellie Bartowski (Chuck)

8. Penny (Big Bang Theory)

7. Lily Aldrin (HIMYM)

6. Claire Dunphy (Modern Family)

5. Sara Ellis (White Collar)

4. Julia Braverman-Graham (Parenthood)

3. Gloria Pritchett (Modern Family)

2. Annie Edison (Community)

1. Winona Hawkins (Justified)

Posted by: JH at April 28, 2011 1:05 PM

Winona? Really? Little Miss "I love you except for your annoying personality and your career that I hate and I left you for a lame-ass real estate agent who may have tried to have me murdered, btw could you fix that?" I frigging HATE Winona. The least you could have done would be to choose Eva from Justified. BOOOoooo to your list, sir.

Posted by: Siege at April 28, 2011 1:15 PM

Glad I'm not the only one who hates the Whineona character. I understand that some producer is probably getting very professional blowjobs from the bimbo playing her, which is fine. But I just can't see a character like Raylin getting down and risking his "code" for somebody like that. The woman is NOT compelling in ANY way. And her hotness is middling, at best.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 28, 2011 1:27 PM

"Annie's a little young. We try not to sexualize her." -Jeff Winger

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 28, 2011 1:28 PM

I wonder if we replaced Winona with Ava whether the sentiments would be different.

Or would it still be the same cause the amount of lust for Raylan Givens from the Pajibettes is so massive, I fear it could collapse into a brown dwarf.

Posted by: Fredo at April 28, 2011 1:30 PM

Ava's definitely hotter than Winona. Her voice is hot, too, if that makes a difference.

Posted by: Slash at April 28, 2011 1:32 PM

They should just put Raylon on both lists. Women want him, and men...also want him.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 28, 2011 1:36 PM

And she has very low standards.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 28, 2011 1:36 PM

To defend my choice of Winona, I liked her back on Dirty Sexy Money when she frequently appeared in nothing but lingerie. Her character issues on Justified aside, Natalie Zea is gorgeous.

Posted by: JH at April 28, 2011 1:41 PM

emilia clarke kinda reminds me of piper perabo

Posted by: arrrghzi at April 28, 2011 1:42 PM

"Isn't Lana Kane black?"

Paddy,

According to Archer, Lana isn't black, she's a "quadroon"

Posted by: sean at April 28, 2011 1:45 PM

@JH -- here's the thing that seems to have been left undefined: is this list about hot actresses, or about the CHARACTERS? Because I admit that the actress who plays Winona is very pretty. But as far as personality goes, Winona (as she exists in the show universe) is a horrible person.

Posted by: Siege at April 28, 2011 1:50 PM

@Siege -- good point. I obviously looked at it as the actress playing the part and not the part itself.

Posted by: JH at April 28, 2011 1:55 PM

Her? You've definetly gotta' type.

Posted by: anikitty at April 28, 2011 2:10 PM

Dustin - That's a whole lotta blondes. Fascinating.
Posted by: tamatha at April 28, 2011 12:18 PM

I was going to say...

Gotta thing for blondes much?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at April 28, 2011 2:29 PM

The entire cast of Hannah Montana.

Season one.

I went there.

Posted by: superasente at April 28, 2011 2:30 PM

I am also disheartened by your #1 pick. Her annoying shrewness definitely negates her beauty. Aside from an occasional cute courtroom outfit, I find her to be nothing special. However, I would have no problem with Ava being on the list, even after her ridiculousness in last night's episode.

Posted by: Mel C. at April 28, 2011 2:49 PM

I love all of you. Winona needs to DAH. SHE NEEDS TO DAH!!!!!!

Posted by: Nadine at April 28, 2011 2:50 PM

Last night's Justified was so incredibly good and I thought to myself, "Ahhhh... a Winona-less episode! Thank God."

And then BAM! She shows up, and he gets all mushy about her. Makes no freaking sense.

Posted by: elizabeth at April 28, 2011 2:54 PM

Elizabeth, I think his mushiness was in part due to him seeing Ava and Boyd. Did you see the jealousy in his eyes earlier in the episode when he realized that they were now a couple?

Posted by: Paultera at April 28, 2011 3:05 PM

Ohmygod, I know right? So much awesome and then she turns up to shit all over EVERY GOOD THING. Didja notice how having Tim and Rachel in it last week balanced out Winona's total incompetence at LIFE IN GENERAL?

More Tim and Rachel pliz.

But really, Winona? Winona?? I find it insulting that she's shoved down our throats as some sort of Great Love of Raylan's, the writer surely know what a harpy she is?

Posted by: Nadine at April 28, 2011 3:10 PM

Aside from Lana Kane, I have no idea who these people are. I don't know the characters, the actresses, or the shows in which they appear. I feel weird about that.

Posted by: that guy at April 28, 2011 3:12 PM

Ava's new character direction feels a little...about turn to me.
I think if we'd seen a little more of her this season I could believe this bump up a level in bad ass she's gotten, as it is, it rings untrue. I reassert my motion for Moar Tim and Rachel.

Posted by: Nadine at April 28, 2011 3:13 PM

Why do I get the sense that the Justified makers are about to give you all exactly what you want for Winona?

Posted by: Fredo at April 28, 2011 3:23 PM

Too many blonds for me. And if you are picking a TREME woman, why the hell wouldn't you take Annie? Adorable and talented?

Posted by: Sean at April 28, 2011 3:26 PM

No. 13: 13.

Oh, wait, she's nonblonde.

Carry on.

Posted by: , at April 28, 2011 3:33 PM

Why do I get the sense that the Justified makers are about to give you all exactly what you want for Winona?

It worked with Rita on Dexter.

Posted by: Paultera at April 28, 2011 3:35 PM

@that guy

You really should.

Posted by: arrrghzi at April 28, 2011 3:44 PM

I see nothing wrong with this list. 'Tis a fine list, says I.

/totally blonde

Posted by: becks at April 28, 2011 3:55 PM

1. Sherlock Holmes (I know it was only 3 eps, but he will be back in the fall)
2. Raylan Givens
3. Boyd Crowder (I know...don't judge me)
4. Ned...Ed...whatever...Borimer
5. Archer....but he would have to keep his pie hole shut.
6. Eric Northman
7. Donald Draper
9. Sherlock
10. and yeah, Sherlock.

Posted by: Jules at April 28, 2011 3:56 PM

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wow, only a fake brown could be found interesting? This explains my dating life.

Posted by: jzhz at April 28, 2011 4:16 PM

Um, if we're going to discuss Justified women, please don't leave out the coal company rep. A strong smart, morally ambiguous (redheaded) woman. Yuuuup.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 28, 2011 4:23 PM

Gloria from Modern Family. COME ON. That is one hot bitch.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at April 28, 2011 4:26 PM

Paultera

I guess I didn't really read it as jealousy, but I hope you're right. I wasn't a fan of them pulling a gun on Raylan. Boyd, sure, but that was out of character for Ava. Yes, she pulls guns on a lot of men, but it just struck me as off.

I loved the look on her face when she and Boyd arrived at the funeral. She definitely doesn't seem proud to be on Boyd's arm. I like that she hasn't tried to use the situation to make Raylan jealous. That will just come naturally.

Posted by: elizabeth at April 28, 2011 4:31 PM

I call bullshit on the whole list (even though it does feature Danaerys and Winona) due to its total lack of Ava Crowder, not to mention the fact that she's not number-frigging-ONE.

Posted by: Jeff in Middletucky at April 28, 2011 4:34 PM

So, is it "Raylin", "Raylon" or "Raylan"?

It's been spelled all three ways in these comments and I'm mildly interested which one is correct.

Also, what the hell kind of name is Raylin/Raylon/Raylan?

Posted by: Ballymena Bob at April 28, 2011 5:34 PM

I'm not 100% it was jealousy either but he was certainly nonplussed by it. He looked more hurt by it than he was the first time his daddy pointed a gun at him. Of course, one comes to expect the worst from Arlo.

Posted by: Paultera at April 28, 2011 5:43 PM

http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0165184/

I'm a font of information today.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 28, 2011 5:44 PM

No Annie?? She's way hotter than Britta.

Posted by: camytaru at April 28, 2011 5:48 PM

Anyone know if Justified is shown in the UK?

I've never heard or read about it outside of this website but I get the impression that it's quite good.

Posted by: Ballymena Bob at April 28, 2011 5:54 PM

I forgot to thank Socrates_Johnson... so, thanks.

Posted by: Ballymena Bob at April 28, 2011 5:59 PM

You definitely have a type, Dustin.

WHERE'S ERIN FROM THE OFFICE????

Posted by: Snuggiepants at April 28, 2011 6:08 PM

I couldn't really think of a real order. Except for first place. It is also hard for me, as I don't watch that many shows on TV. I tend to watch movies when I have the TV on.

10-Jessica Hamby-True Blood. I actually saw Woll in person last year. She is actually even better looking in real life. Her character is just too whinny to be any higher.

9-Annie-Treme The character on TV that in real life I would actually fall deeply in love with.

8-Melanie Green-Breaking In

7-Winona Hawkins -Justified. Even tho we all know that Ava would be way better in bed. Winona is just hotter. And a little crazier.

6-Nikita-Nikita

5-Margaret Schroeder-Boardwalk Empire

4-Lucy Danziger -Boardwalk Empire. Probably becuase I think Paz de la Huerta would be a blast in real life.

3-Daenerys Targaryen/Lucrezia Borgia (tie)-Game of Thrones/The Borgias. They are essentially the same character. Two small cute blondes. Who start innocent and become players in a mans world by using their sexuality. And get naked.

2-Joan Harris-Mad Men.

1-Morgan-Camelot. Eva Green makes my #1 on any list I can think of.

Posted by: Sean at April 28, 2011 6:27 PM

I don't know if her show got cancelled, but
Kate Reed (Fairly Legal) is my #1.

2. Jill whatshername from Royal Pains.
3. Nancy Botwin

Posted by: Big Softie at April 28, 2011 6:37 PM

Isn't Paz De La Huerta essentially a brunette Courtney Love?

Posted by: becks at April 28, 2011 6:56 PM

Emma Pillsbury
Annie Edison
Erin Hannon
Lily Aldrin
Lily Aldrin
Lily Aldrin
Lily Aldrin
Lily Aldrin
Lily Aldrin
and
Lily Aldrin

Posted by: greg at April 28, 2011 6:59 PM

"Isn't Paz De La Huerta essentially a brunette Courtney Love?"

With a much nicer body. But otherwise, yes. I think that is the appeal. Crazy people are usually are great fun sexually. The problem lays later on, when you find out they are crazy.

Posted by: Sean at April 28, 2011 7:51 PM

Temperence Brennan (Bones)
Nurse Jackie
Zoey Barkow (from the show Nurse jackie)
Lois Lane and Chloe Sullivan (Smallville)
Tara Thornton (True Blood)
Beth Griffith (Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour)
Allison Dubois (Medium)
Penelope Garcia (Criminal Minds)
Kelly Bailey (Misfits)
Lucy Danziger (Boardwalk Empire)

Posted by: idleprimate at April 28, 2011 9:14 PM

Oh Rowles has a type, yeah you do, don't ya? Yes you do, you gotta a purty mouth..

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 28, 2011 10:59 PM

As soon as I saw the title of this list, I just knew Winona Hawkins would be #1.

Posted by: agent bedhead at April 28, 2011 11:08 PM

White blonde.
White blonde.
3/4 white brunette.
White brunette.
White blonde.
White blonde.
White blonde.
White redhead.
White blonde.

Tiger Woods had more variety than this in his mistresses and he had to pick from real women and pay them, not just do whomever he liked, real or fictional.

Posted by: Shadowen at April 29, 2011 7:40 PM

Since you all have said it much more eloquently than I, I will just simply add myself to the hatred of Winona. Vapid harpy shrew. You like blondes? Ava is ten times hotter (and more awesome) than Winona.

Ballymena Bob, it's Raylan.

Posted by: Even Stevens at April 30, 2011 12:34 PM

Neal Caffrey
Eric Northman
Jax Teller
Juice Ortiz
Jaime Lannister
Ned Stark
Robb Stark
Cesare Borgia
Don Draper
Jeff Winger

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The 10 Current TV Characters with Whom I'd Most Like to Procreate with Behind an Institution of Secondary Education

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