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The 10 Biggest Stars of All Time, Ever*

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (28)

tom-crdadsfuise.jpg

10. Betelgeuse

9. Mu Cephei

8. KY Cygni

7. KW Sagittarii

6. RW Cephei

5. V354 Cephei

4. WOH G64

3. V838 Monocerotis

2. VV Cephei A

1. VY Canis Majoris


(*I realize what a lame joke post this was, but I couldn’t stop myself. It’s one of those ideas that takes hold at 3 a.m. and keeps you up giggling to yourself until you wake up a realize that it wasn’t really that funny. But you do it anyway, even though you understand that it’s terrifically lame, like something that Phil in “Modern Family” might come up with and then feel insanely self-satisfied about his impeccable sense of humor. I’m sorry. Ladies: Please accept this as my apology. Men: Accept this (that should also make up for the gender disparity in the “Doctor Who” posts yesterday).)









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Comments

Apologies.. Accepted..

-Drool-

And as a die hard SF junk, I thought this list was highly stimulating.

Posted by: Magiel at December 28, 2010 9:06 AM

If Tilda Swinton was a regular on Doctor Who, I'd watch it. Much more interesting that what's her face yesterday.

Posted by: Robert at December 28, 2010 9:29 AM

Crow T. Robot: Man, the universe is really cruisin'.
Tom Servo: Hey, look, there's Taurus the bull.
Mike: And right underneath him the constellation feces.
Crow T. Robot: Hey, look, Orion's broke.

This is the only joke involving stars I could think of. And I love MST3K! MST3K is my favorite!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 28, 2010 9:32 AM

Heh.

Heh heh heh heh.

Don't fret over your lameness, Dustin. I giggled like a madwoman.

Posted by: stardust at December 28, 2010 9:48 AM

This joke's *rimshot* was so prolonged, Feist is suing you for copyright violation. And pleasure. Never forget the pleasure.

Posted by: Kballs at December 28, 2010 9:54 AM

But, uuh, wouldn't Feist rather sue over a rimJOB infringement...?

Posted by: Rykker at December 28, 2010 9:57 AM

And I thought the star joke was funny, Dustin.
'Cuz I do all that stuff in italics far too often.

Posted by: Rykker at December 28, 2010 9:59 AM

WOH G64 at #4? Are you insane? Maybe, MAYBE if you include the entire nimbus, as well as the occasional solar flare, but if that's the case Centauri 648 should get consideration as well, not to mention WOH 64A, a truly underappreciated star that gets no pub just because it lives in a little regarded cluster obscured from most telemetry. But, no go ahead just go with the mainstream list, just like all the other "experts". I expect a little more in depth examination here, but if all you're going to do is parrot the party line then fine. Just don't be surprised when Galactus shows up to bitch slap you.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at December 28, 2010 10:17 AM

And let's NOT forget the cavalier use of "Biggest" when Dustin CLEARLY means "Largest Volume". I'm surprised that all the R136a1 fanatics aren't all over this with their "largest mass and most luminous, bitches!"

Posted by: branded at December 28, 2010 10:29 AM

I love you people.

Posted by: Vee at December 28, 2010 10:35 AM

@Pinky: I quoted those exact lines to a friend while we were watching the lunar eclipse a few nights back :)

Posted by: Markus at December 28, 2010 10:44 AM

Rykker,

Man. You took my mediocre joke and pooped all over it with literal interpretations and whatnot.

Anyway, stars are stupid. I wish I had a star right here in front of me so I could punch it in its smug face. I'd be all, "Fuck you, star! You're no diamond! You're no diamond at all!!!"

Posted by: Kballs at December 28, 2010 11:18 AM

What no Death Star? The one that is now the ultimate power in the Galaxy?

Your list sucks, Rowles.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 28, 2010 11:55 AM

It took me a second...but when I got it, I had quite a laugh. It is EXACTLY like something Phil would say on Modern Family. If you ain't white, you ain't right.

Posted by: Vick at December 28, 2010 12:23 PM

What no Death Star? The one that is now the ultimate power in the Galaxy?

Yeah, maybe before. But not since Luke Suckwalker and those hairy midgets started snooping around. Fuckin' buzzkills, bro.

Posted by: Kballs at December 28, 2010 12:29 PM

I would "laugh-out-loud" at this, but that's been verboeten. Scheisse!

Posted by: RobP at December 28, 2010 12:31 PM

Maybe he meant "biggest" in a metaphorical sense. For us the Sun is pretty "big," as it does support life and stuff. Perhaps there are alien populations dependent on these.

That said, I did enjoy this list and wonder if there was any scientific research put into it. Betegeuse is a red supergiant, after all.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 28, 2010 12:52 PM

Also, I read #10 out loud three time in a row and now I have a dead guy that sounds like Michael Keaton tweaking my ass and stinking up the place.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 28, 2010 1:13 PM

Pinky, that's Michael Douglas. Just put him on a bus back to Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Posted by: mrcreosote at December 28, 2010 1:28 PM

Jensen Ackles? Yeah, you're going to have to thrown in a topless Paul Bettany or James McAvoy if you really want forgiveness. I will be waiting.

Posted by: wildflower at December 28, 2010 2:07 PM

Dustin, don't ever change.

Hell, I laughed.

Posted by: MM at December 28, 2010 2:11 PM

Oh, I don't know wildflower. Jensen Ackles might be all the apology I need...

Posted by: llp at December 28, 2010 2:52 PM

Whatever, I'm huge in Japan.

Posted by: Arcturus at December 28, 2010 3:00 PM

HA!

Arcturus wins eleventy-million internets for the day.

Posted by: RobP at December 28, 2010 4:02 PM

Oh....wow

Posted by: KC at December 28, 2010 7:16 PM

Dear Dustin:

Please screw up and be lame more often, as long as you always remember to apologize.

Thank you!

Posted by: Jerce at December 28, 2010 7:40 PM

No apologies needed. If I were to show this to half of the people in my program, they'd get an unabashed kick out of it. It's pure nerd bait. You might even get some serious debate over it.

Geeks 4 lyfe!

Posted by: UMG at December 29, 2010 12:56 PM

It kinda took me a while to get it, but the apology got me giggling uncontrollably.

Posted by: Maggi at December 31, 2010 4:19 AM