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Ten Classic Kevin Smith Scenes

A Seriously Random List XI / Dustin Rowles

Seriously Random Lists | October 31, 2008 | Comments (40)

Zack and Miri Make a Porno hits theaters today, and in advance of our review, I thought it’d be worthy to whet your appetites with ten classic moments from Kevin Smith’s growing oeuvre.

But before we get to those, first a plea. Several years ago, the weekend that Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back came out, I watched the film at a midnight screening in Boston. The theater was absolutely packed that night, and the whole time I was watching it, all I could think was: Kevin Smith has finally made it. This film is gonna be the one that breaks through, that crosses over a little, and finds mainstream success. It was a bittersweet feeling, like when your favorite band graduates from small clubs to arenas. You’re happy for them, but you also feel like they don’t belong to you anymore. I left thinking that after that weekend I was just going to be one of millions of Smith fans.

It turned out, however, that Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back debuted that weekend with only $11 million. It was Kevin Smith’s biggest opener, but it was far from blockbuster status. I realized, of course, that those midnight screenings in major cities were where 85 percent of Kevin Smith’s grosses came from. It was also strange to realize just about everyone I know has seen some or all of Kevin Smith’s films, and yet $30 million is the most any of them has ever made. The guy has got to be the most prolific, well-known filmmaker around to never have broken $31 million. And honestly, I just don’t get it. I do know that there are a lot of people out there who don’t actually like Kevin Smith (see, e.g., the interview comments), but even those people, it seems, have seen enough of his films to form an opinion about him. So why is $30 million his ceiling?

Anyway, that’s a really long, rhetorical way of saying: Go see Zack and Miri Make a Porno this weekend. Don’t wait to see it on DVD. And don’t say, “I’ll get around to it,” and then realize it’s already out of theaters before you decide to go. And I’m not saying this because the dude was nice enough to grant us an interview, nor am I saying it as a critic — this post is scheduled to run while I’m watching the film myself, so I don’t even know if it’s good yet (I don’t doubt that it is, but I’m not even reviewing the film for the site, anyway). I’m saying it as a fan, as a fan who’s asking his friends to go support a filmmaker that I dig the hell out of. Because I really do want to see that fat motherfucker succeed. Besides, most of you folks are the base — I’m just trying to rally you assholes into the theaters. Do it for Mewes, y’all.

Next hour, Prisco’s review. For now, here are 10 classic Kevin Smith scenes:

10. Jersey Girl — The Will Smith Scene

9. Clerks — Berserker

8. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back — Jay’s Rap:

7. Chasing Amy — The Speech:

6. Jay and Silent Bob — Good Will Hunting 2

5. Dogma - -The Boardroom Scene

4. Mallrats The Stink Palm

3. Clerks II — LOTR vs. Star Wars

2. Clerks — 37 Dicks

1. Chasing Amy — Silent Bob Speaks









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Comments

I really don't want Zack & Miri to suck... well, there can be sucking, but not as a movie.

Posted by: hugeinjapan at October 31, 2008 1:23 PM

No Jay Buffalo Bill dance?

Obviously, this list is USELESS!

*cue Goodbye Horses Phil*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 31, 2008 1:23 PM

i have no sound on my computer but that won't stop me from singing berserker in my office all day now. yay!

Posted by: katie b at October 31, 2008 1:30 PM

I'm sorry but most of these scenes really suck. Only 9, 3 and 4 are any good at all. Clerks was a good movie, maybe even an innovative one. That being said, nothing else that Smith has done is worth a shit. That's why he has a 30 million dollar ceiling. For some reason critics like to treat his movies like the Special Olympics and give him a medal just for showing up. Smith simply isn't a talented filmmaker. He's had nearly ten chances to make a movie that doesn't look like an art school project and he has yet to rise to the challenge. That's fine, more power to him on that, but now he is just shamelessly trying to steal from Judd Apatow. So here's the test. 4 months from now when Zac and Miri is on dvd, compare it to any of Judd's movies starring Seth Rogan and tell me if it is anywhere near as good. If not, go back to Russia.

Posted by: Terry at October 31, 2008 1:33 PM

Now and then I say "Mm, Norma Rae like a motherfucker".

It always needs to be explained of course, which is sad.

Posted by: Jay at October 31, 2008 1:34 PM

For some reason critics like to treat his movies like the Special Olympics

I think you're totally wrong, but that was pretty funny.

And you know what? I fucking liked Jersey Girl. George Carlin was awesome, that littler girl was adorable, and it was fun to see Liv Tyler as a likable person.

Jay, sometimes I say "Olaf, girl nice?" And no one gets it either. Sad day.

Posted by: Marra at October 31, 2008 1:39 PM

IM taking my new girlfriend to see this tonight , she has never seen a kevin smith movie so if she doest like it , based soley on my love for Kevin Smith bitch is gonna be taking a taxi home .

Posted by: gilp at October 31, 2008 1:48 PM

Just wanted to thank you for these. I'd never seen the Good Will Hunting 2 or the LOTR vs. Star Wars scenes and I just totally laughed my ass off at both. At work. My boss is now wondering what the hell it is I do all day, but that's a different story...

Posted by: sherry at October 31, 2008 1:49 PM

Agreed Slim, the Jay Buffalo Bill dance scene makes me laugh each and every time I see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmZPtb77AfI&feature=related

"Oh....."

Posted by: Chris at October 31, 2008 1:55 PM

Love them all except for the LOTR vs. Star Wars.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry George Lucas ruined everything, and that the last fight scene in LOTR was an hour long and had battle elephants, but that's just the way it is.

Posted by: twig at October 31, 2008 1:57 PM

I liken the irrational lunatics that drop hate on Mr. Smith to the Anglina Jolie haters, it's all reflex, no rational criticism, they just don't like the fact that he's a comic book geek who's made it.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 31, 2008 2:00 PM

*Angelina

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 31, 2008 2:01 PM

I can't get Berserker out of my head...

Posted by: hugeinjapan at October 31, 2008 2:26 PM

"I can't get Berserker out of my head..."

Why would you want to?

Posted by: TK at October 31, 2008 2:51 PM

Did he just say "making fuck"?

Posted by: the_wakeful at October 31, 2008 2:52 PM

i always thought it was "would you like to makey fuck - berserker" huh.

Posted by: katie b at October 31, 2008 3:04 PM

I would add the parking lot scene from Chasing Amy. Though I love "The Speech" it is totally Holden's perspective - I love that with the later parking lot speech from Alyssa, you get to see what she's experiencing, and where she's coming from. When I was younger, that moment didn't resonate that much, but every time I watch it now, it seems more adult and true than the other moments.

Posted by: PallasJay at October 31, 2008 3:12 PM

"Bullshit, because I wasn't with a hooker today, ha haaa!"

I saw Jay and Silent Bob BEFORE I saw Good Will Hunting, and that scene made no sense to me. But having seen it now, that clip is fucking hillarious.

Posted by: Audiosuede at October 31, 2008 3:29 PM

I didn't have to play a single one of those scenes quietly in my office...I just replayed them all in my head. Awesome.

Posted by: jamiepants at October 31, 2008 3:51 PM

I don't think Jersey Girl is that great, but I agree with Marra above that it's not for lack of good performances. George Carlin and the little girl are particularly good. I happened to catch the end of it on TBS several weeks back the day after Carlin died, and it really got to me. Carlin has that line about the fact that he's more afraid of dying alone than not having the chance to live on his own again, and he delivers it in this perfectly heartfelt, understated way...it killed me. Add that to the fact that Smith dedicates the film to his deceased father, who was born in the same year as my own father and only one year before Carlin, and I can't help but have a soft spot for the movie.

Anyway, pretty good list. Not my top ten, but still pretty good.

I'd also put up for nomination:
1) Clerks - risks of being a contractor for the Death Star scene
2) Clerks - any of many Randal scenes...perhaps the one where the woman attempts to pull the "ruse" over on him
3) Chasing Amy - Hooper X's performance at the comic convention
4) Chasing Amy - Hooper X's advice to Dante at the CD shop (and the conversation with the fan there as well)
5) Dogma - something with Alan Rickman - maybe the recruitment scene
6) Jay & Silent Bob - that bit where Holden is teaching Jay and Silent Bob about the internet

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 31, 2008 4:01 PM

I really like Kevin Smith and his movies. Having said that, you really have a nack for picking out boring scenes.

Posted by: EricD at October 31, 2008 4:30 PM

Buffalo Bill scene, hands down the #1 funniest scene.

I'd also nominate "Ben Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms!" But any argument against it would be understandable. I just really liked Phantoms and the line makes me giggle every time.

Posted by: Alex at October 31, 2008 4:32 PM

Chasing Amy-The "four way road" scene.
Classic Jason Lee.

Posted by: clocker at October 31, 2008 4:34 PM

I think it's interesting that a lot of people scream about voice-overs, saying that they're the refuge of writers and directors who lack the skill to get their message across with the story, while Dustin has chosen a scene where the director comes onscreen to encapsulate the movie by stating its message directly as one of the best scenes by the direct. I don't know. Maybe it's breaking the third wall... or maybe it's the ultimate gesture of insecurity.

Posted by: Eep at October 31, 2008 5:35 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaydNz7jSNQ

This is great....the end with Randall and Dante talking about how the cousin died is almost synched up perfectly. Verrrrrrry funny.

Posted by: Rubble44 at October 31, 2008 5:46 PM

Now, I love Kevin Smith, but I thought Clerks 2 was kind of weak. I do love the Buffalo Bill dance scenes, and the nerdy Elias kid who worked with Dante and Randall was hilarious, in that, "oh crap, I used to work with that guy at Wendy's 15 years ago..." kind of way. Pillowpants FTW!

Posted by: llp at October 31, 2008 9:01 PM

My fave is from Jay and Silent Bob...
"Hey baby, you ever had your asshole liked by a fat man in an overcoat"

Posted by: Marcus at November 1, 2008 12:08 AM

I would have loved the LOTR vs. Star Wars part in Clerks 2 if Kevin Smith himself hadn't ruined it for me in Evening Harder.

It's a surprise that God's appearance isn't on this particular list, though.

Posted by: JC at November 1, 2008 12:53 AM

The shared moment from Chasing Amy should have been on that list. Man, I love me some Kevin Smith. And not just because my husband and I met on his message board.

Posted by: Az at November 1, 2008 8:47 AM

My husband clubs me over the head whenever we get within 42 feet of an escalator.

Posted by: superedna at November 1, 2008 12:37 PM

Is Kevin Smith cool with the fact that Jason Lee is a Scientologist? Because even I can't look at Banky/Brodie quite the same after that...

Posted by: popejenn at November 1, 2008 6:55 PM

Oh be still my heart! Dustin, this is the best post! My friend and I were just listening to a mashup of Billy Meyers' Kiss the Rain with The Speech from Chasing Amy and it made me remember just how much I love that movie and Kevin Smith's work over all.

When I was in high school, I had the pleasure of interviewing him along with the reunited cast of Mallrats at the Secret Stash in Los Angeles; needless to say, it was awesome.

Posted by: Mari at November 1, 2008 7:58 PM

"Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" was released only a few weeks before 9/11. There was no chance of the film building on any word of mouth after that, no one was much in the mood for wacky stoner comedies full of inside jokes at that time. I personally loved it though, my definite fav KS flick, although I know I'm in the minority with that opinion.

Posted by: Dude Manbro at November 1, 2008 8:53 PM

No love for the group dance scene in Clerks 2?

Posted by: Shane at November 1, 2008 9:25 PM

Oh, I love Dogma. I use that as my basis for rejecting organized religion all the time. I say, "While the hell are you hugging my head? What is this, The Piano?" or "God loves Skeeball" all the time, which also have to be explained. Sad.....

Posted by: dammitjanet at November 1, 2008 10:04 PM

Random, but why is the first video subtitled in Dutch?

Posted by: MuffySpit at November 2, 2008 6:20 PM

"Word, bitch! Phantoms like a maulfucker!"

I sometimes say that outloud and people give me weird looks. They just don't know.

Posted by: ASterisk at November 2, 2008 8:41 PM

So two out of the "top ten Kevin Smith moments" feature a guy walking out on a girl because of her sexual history. Not cheating on him, mind you--the fact that, in the distant past, she maybe had sex with some dudes. And not random moments--the BEST moments. I think this tells me all I need to know about Kevin Smith.

(And yes, they're both treated as overreactions, but in the case of a writer-director, I think recurring plot points, regardless of characters' reactions to them, can be seen as part of a message.)

Posted by: elle at November 3, 2008 2:14 AM

Sorry, not "best"--"classic". Still.

Posted by: elle at November 3, 2008 2:16 AM

I love the scene in Clerks II when Jay and Randall sing Welcome Home from the album "Them". I am the only person I know who likes King Diamond and to have a joke like that thrown in when only a handful of people would get it was pretty cool. It gave me a strange connection to the film, and to Smith. I can only imagine what people who weren't hip to that jam were thinking:

"Why are they talking about Satan and then singing a song to some dude's Grandma?"

GRANDMAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Rob at November 3, 2008 2:31 PM