film / tv / streaming / politics / web / celeb/ industry / video / love / lists / think pieces / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / politics / web / celeb























deadpool_new_years_resolution.jpg

Superhero New Year's Resolutions For 2019

By Jodi Smith | Lists | January 1, 2019 |

By Jodi Smith | Lists | January 1, 2019 |


deadpool_new_years_resolution.jpg

New Year’s Resolutions aren’t only for the mortal or non-fictional of us. Superheroes have things they need to work on as well.

Star Lord: Be more patient and try not to hit my problems in the head while Mantis is trying to put them to sleep.

star_lord_ruins_everything.jpeg

Superman: Use my laser vision to remove facial hair instead of leaving it to DCEU special effects artists.

superman_mustache_mess_up.jpg

Captain Marvel: Get a cell phone. [Tori Preston is wise.]

captain_marvel_pager.gif

Nick Fury: Call in the Kree Warrior with more power than the rest of the Avengers combined a little earlier next time.

Thor Always aim for the head. Maybe even double-tap.

sad_thor_new_years_resolution - Edited.png

Iron Man (Wistful sobbing and constant singing of “Cat’s in the Cradle”.) [You can thank Steven Lloyd Wilson for this one.]

iron_man_end_game_sad.jpg

Harley Quinn: I’m leavin’ my Puddin’ behind and having a girl’s year!

birds_of_prey_harley_quinn.png

Nebula: KILL MY FATHER.

nebula_new_years_resolution_angry.jpg

Batman: Stop letting Zack Snyder force me to murder people. Also get younger, perhaps re-emerge as Armie Hammer.

batman_new_years_resolution.jpg

Jean Grey/Phoenix Get a proper introduction, character arc, and treatment in a movie. PLEASE.

sophie-turner-as-jean-grey-in-x-men-dark-phoenix.jpg

Lady Deadpool: Do you want a Deadpool Corps trilogy? BECAUSE I AM HOW YOU START A DEADPOOL CORPS TRILOGY. Cameos by Shorty No Pockets and Tito are allowed in movie number two only. The first one can have Dogpool. MAYBE. Also, where do we stand on having Cap in my movie? Is that deal done yet?

deadpool_corps_new_years.jpg

Spider-Man: …

spider-man_dusts.jpeg



Jodi Smith is the Associate Trade News Editor at Pajiba. You can email her or follow her on Twitter.



The 10 Best Films of 2018

Streaming Guide: What's New On Netflix, Amazon and Hulu January 2019


Image sources (in order of posting): 20th Century Fox, Marvel, Warner Bros., DC










The Pajiba Store


petr-store-pajiba.png





Privacy Policy
advertise