By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (25)
Kim
Stacy
Jean
Mickey
Marion
Nick
Dwayne
Danny
Courtney
Leslie
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Posted by: samantha t at March 24, 2011 2:58 PM
Mostly because those are girl names?
I could never get over the fact that the archetypical American macho man was christened "Marion".
Posted by: godzilla_foil at March 24, 2011 2:58 PM
Kim Coates is REALLY good at this...damn I miss Tig, need to re-watch SOA soon.
Posted by: grace b at March 24, 2011 3:00 PM
Isn't "Jean" basically "John" in French? Just sayin'. Over here, it's a girly name, over there, it's just a regular guy's name. And is pronounced "Zhahn" (approximating a phonetic spelling).
Did not know that one guy's name is Kim. That's kinda effed up.
Posted by: Slash at March 24, 2011 3:04 PM
What about Mandy Patinkin?
Posted by: Amenfro at March 24, 2011 3:27 PM
"I could never get over the fact that the archetypical American macho man was christened "Marion"."
Not to mention that subsequent Amurrican macho men were:
Gay (see Rock Hudson)
Look silly next to the roided-out men of today (Kirk Douglas)
Facially Paralyzed (Sly)
Unable to speak English (GIT TU DA CHOPPA!)
Not too big on paying taxes (Snipes)
Softer than a bowl full of jelly (Segal)
So on and so forth.
But picking on the name is pretty hard. Try making fun of Sidney Poitier's first name to his face. He could kill with a stare, or somehow turn your own historical insignificance against you.
Steve McQueen's given first name is "Terrence". Make a crack about that while watching Bullit and he'll turn and shoot you in your dumb face through the screen.
Posted by: D-Day at March 24, 2011 3:28 PM
Look silly next to the roided-out men of today (Kirk Douglas)
I suggest you shut the fuck up.
Posted by: Jay at March 24, 2011 3:48 PM
And Rock Hudson was christened Roy, which, while it means King, still comes off as kind of neutral, which is probably why Henry Willson changed it (along with turning the gay Arthur Andrew Kelm into Tab Hunter, the fey but straight Merle Johnson, Jr. into Troy Donahue, teen jailbird Francis Timothy McCown into Rory Calhoun, Raymon-no-D, Cramton-no-P to Chad Everett, and geeky right-wing nutball Orison Whipple Hungerford, Jr. into Ty Hardin).
Posted by: Jerry at March 24, 2011 4:17 PM
"Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."
Posted by: PaddyDog at March 24, 2011 4:19 PM
"I suggest you shut the fuck up."
And I suggest you get a fucking clue.
I enjoy Kirk Douglas' work immensely, yet I'm pointing out his physique pales in comparison to the gents that trade acting lessons for protein shakes and personal trainers of today.
Posted by: D-Day at March 24, 2011 4:28 PM
Yeah, Dwayne doesn't really suit The Rock. His name should be Krull.
Krull Johnson.
Posted by: becks at March 24, 2011 4:40 PM
No.
You said he looked silly.
There is no silly looking in Kirk Douglas.
You can at least apologize to the man.
Posted by: Jay at March 24, 2011 4:51 PM
Nice Johnny Cash reference, PaddyDog!
Posted by: Bettie at March 24, 2011 5:01 PM
So glad someone remembered Sue!
Posted by: JuiceinLA at March 24, 2011 5:22 PM
Ah, yes - "A Boy named Sue." Inpired by a man named Jean, and not the French version.
Posted by: elisamaza at March 24, 2011 5:55 PM
What about Elvis?
Posted by: BWeaves at March 24, 2011 5:56 PM
Cary Grant / Archibald Leach?
Posted by: BWeaves at March 24, 2011 5:58 PM
Personally, I kinda wish Cary Grant were known by his real name. "Archie Leach" definitely matches the comedic persona he could have. "Cary Grant" worked for his dramatic... work. Hell, I guess he could've just gone by "George Clooney" as that covers all the bases.
Also, Mickey Rourke totally looks like a "Mickey" if you consider he's of fooken Irish descent. And, look at a picture of Nick Offerman without the 'stache. That's much more surprising than his utterly average name.
Posted by: RobP at March 24, 2011 6:12 PM
I know a guy named Kim Campbell, and Canada had a female Prime Minister named exactly that (for about 5 minutes). You think his life is easy?
Posted by: Uriah Creep at March 24, 2011 10:13 PM
I second the oddity that is "Mandy" Patinkin. Then again, these gener-crossing names don't irk me half as much as the parents who are inspired by geography or fruit.
Posted by: cinekat at March 25, 2011 5:55 AM
Der. Gender. More coffee stat.
Posted by: cinekat at March 25, 2011 5:56 AM
Can't. Handle. 'Stacheless. Offerman.
Also reminded of Leslie Nielsen's passing.
Guess it's just going to have to be a "piss on your new red hat!" kinda day.
Posted by: beet salad at March 25, 2011 9:09 AM
I learned in my advanced schoolin' that, once people start using a boy's name for girls, it never goes back to being a boy's name. That's what happened to Kim, Kell(e)y, Stacey, Leslie &c.
As for Marion - well, that probably has some kind of Mary-mother-of-god relevance... Like lot's of old Italian writers have the middle name "Maria".
Isn't Mickey an acceptable nick name for Michael?
Posted by: Nisi at March 25, 2011 10:31 AM
I realized last night that I can't tell the difference between Vin Diesel, Jason Statham and Dwayne here. Maybe this will help.
Posted by: , at March 25, 2011 11:01 AM
Mandy Patinkin was born Mandel Bruce Patinkin - he was named after his grandfather. Mandel is a Jewish/German name which means almond tree in German.
Posted by: Xiufetish at May 11, 2011 9:33 AM
I totally dig what are thought of as women's names on men. It takes a REAL man to pull it off.