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A Seriously Random List Specifically Designed to Elicit Outrage

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (91)



terminator-2-robot-1.jpg

Human nature is a bizarre and wonderful thing. There’s a part of us all that likes to be manipulated, and we often allow ourselves to give in to it, even when that manipulation is completely phony and transparent. Where would the movie industry be without our willingness to be manipulated? Chuck Klosterman writes about this in his latest book of his essays, Eating the Dinosaur, specifically with regard to current state of advertising. In that piece, he talks about the evolution of marketing, the invention of media duplicity during the “Mad Men” era, and how it’s evolved from that into today’s brand of emotional transference; in the modern era, we like a product because it’s associated with something else we like (think Air Jordans) not because of its own intrinsic value. “You sell people Pepsi by selling them Obama,” he writes, illustrating this principal. “That’s the trick, and everyone knows it. So, what happens when everyone knows the trick? Does it still work?”

“It does,” he states. “It works better.”

I’ve been considering that a lot these last few days, and how I could illustrate that point within the context of Pajiba. Then, a friend of mine texted me his own Seriously Random List the other night. I looked at it, and I thought: “It’s the perfect list. It’s inarguable. People who love movies could not reasonably dispute this list.” And of course, that made it useless for a site like Pajiba. There’s a certain art to the Seriously Random List, and I think most of our readers realize this, even if it’s not explicitly stated. If there are ten excellent choices, then you only list five. If there are 20 great possibilities, then you list ten. Even recognizing the frivolous nature of an SRL, there has to be room for argument, or the Seriously Random List fails as a means to generate discussion.

It’s not that the SRLs I write are dishonest — if I choose the top five of something, it’s the top five I believe. But, there’s room for reasonable minds to disagree (obvious ones are also left out occasionally because of simple or stupid oversight). It’s the ones that are left out, of course, that generate the discussion. A list completest may get points for not leaving out anything, but it doesn’t allow a lot of room for debate (which is what part of this site is about). The list of the Decade’s Best Films at the end of last year demonstrated that notion perfectly: So worried that they might leave something out, a lot of site runners put together a list of the Top 50 or the Top 100 films of the decade, or else included 10 or 20 honorable mentions. Part of that is ego, and part of that is the fear of the dreaded comment, “But HOW could you leave off ______! What a fucking moron!”

Movie critics, by and large, are insecure narcissists. They don’t like to be called a moron. That’s in part why they create Top 50 or Top 100 lists when the universe of real possibilities is only 50 or 100. It’s also why, in many cases, they won’t own up to an oversight — they’ll create an argument to justify the omission. They’re bull-headed motherfuckers. If you’re paid to be an expert in one field, you don’t like to be told you’re wrong. (Obviously, that behavior is not exclusive to movie critics; an Internet soapbox and a press credential is often all that separates a movie critic from a troll).

That’s not always the case with our Seriously Random Lists — sometimes, they’re unashamedly designed to provoke. Long-time readers of the site probably understand this, just like most media consumers understand the nature of modern advertising. But if I told you, outright, that the list below was specifically designed to elicit outrage (it’s right there in the title), would it still work? I’m gambling that it will. I’m gambling that the urge among Pajiba commenters to correct an oversight is so powerful that you won’t be able to resist. That you will be compelled, driven by your own sense of what is right and wrong in this world. That you won’t allow it to stand. Not without noting your objections. It’s like obsessive compulsive disorder: You understand why you keep avoiding the cracks on the sidewalk, but it doesn’t stop you from doing it.

Maybe I’m right. Maybe I’m wrong. But I’m curious.

Let’s find out:

The Five Best Time Travel Movies of All Time

5. The Butterfly Effect (2004), written and directed by Eric Bress and J. Mackye Gruber.

Logline: A young man blocks out harmful memories of significant events of his life. As he grows up, he finds a way to remember these lost memories and a supernatural way to alter his life.


4. Star Trek (2009) Written by Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci. Directed by J.J. Abrams.

Logline: A chronicle of the early days of James T. Kirk and his fellow USS Enterprise crew members.


3. Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) Written and directed by James Cameron.

Logline: The cyborg who once tried to kill Sarah Connor must now protect her teenager son, John Connor, from an even more powerful and advanced cyborg.


2. Army of Darkness (1992). Written and directed by Sam Raimi.

Logline: A man is accidentally transported to 1300 A.D., where he must battle an army of the dead and retrieve the Necronomicon so he can return home.


1. Time Crimes (2007). Written and directed by Nacho Vigalondo.

Logline: A man accidentally gets into a time machine and travels back in time nearly an hour. Finding himself will be the first of a series of disasters of unforeseeable consequences.









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Comments

No TIME BANDITS?!

SHENANIGANS! SHENANIGANS!

Posted by: Fredo at March 29, 2010 2:05 PM

Well played, sir. No sooner had I reached the bottom of the list than I was mentally fuming "Where's Primer? Where's Time Bandits? Where's Back To The Motherfucking Future?" Your experiment, in this case, was a success.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at March 29, 2010 2:07 PM

Hahahah! Well played, sir. Well played.

But The Beaver yields to no-one, my friend. No indeed. And so The Beaver will not bow to your will and mention your complete and utter lack of Back to the Future movies on this seriously random list. No.

(The Beaver will also not shamefacedly mention about how she liked The Butterfly Effect. So as not to be chased down with pitchforks and torches.)

Beav out.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at March 29, 2010 2:10 PM

But HOW could you leave off fucking moron! What a Timecop!

Wait... shit.

Posted by: branded at March 29, 2010 2:11 PM

/Stop. Turn. Backing out slowly....

Posted by: Scully at March 29, 2010 2:11 PM

The Time Machine, Back to the Future, Planet of the Apes, the mothefucking original Star Trek travel through time movie, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

I could keep going, and ignore the fact that you have The Butterfly Effect on this damn list.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at March 29, 2010 2:12 PM

I'm not much for time travel movies overall, but I always really liked Time After Time.

Posted by: Chickaboom at March 29, 2010 2:14 PM

You put the fucking Butterfly Effect over Primer?

OVER TIME BANDITS
OVER 12 MONKEYS
OVER BACK TO THE FUTURE

YOU TWATWAFFLE HACK-WRITER NO TALENT WASTE OF GENETIC MATERIAL! I'M CURRENTLY PRINTING A HUNDRED COPIES OF THIS LIST, LIGHTING THEM ON FIRE AND PISSING THEM OUT BEFORE THE SMOKE MAKES ME PASS OUT!

THE DISTANCE FROM YOUR PEDESTAL TO THE LOWEST LEVEL OF HELL IS SO GOD DAMN SHORT A FUCKING CAT COULDN'T LAND RIGHT UP-SIDE UP! MORON!

Posted by: D-Day at March 29, 2010 2:14 PM

“It’s the perfect list. It’s inarguable. People who love movies could not reasonably dispute this list.”

It's like a paradox. I'd want to ask "have you read this site?" following such a statement, but then you also obviously do know the readership. It's freaky, man.

Some internet movie critics are trolls (I have to try to see the best in people, and not say that they're simply stupid assholes who don't know any better, cause that'd just be sad) (No, I'm kidding, they are stupid assholes).

Oh and my mom wants you to add "Somewhere In Time".

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2010 2:15 PM

Oooooh I'm kidding.

That was fun.

Posted by: D-Day at March 29, 2010 2:15 PM

Um... while Army of Darkness is a fucking awesome movie in every respect, I wouldn't call it a "time travel" movie. The time travel is, at best, incidental. And it's taking up a spot on this very short list that has any number of truly worthy candidates waiting in the wings.

But I won't yell at you, Dustin. I'll just point that out very calmly.

Posted by: MM at March 29, 2010 2:17 PM

p.s. I've been waiting to use the lowest level of hell/pedestal/right side-up cat cursing out.

feedback appreciated!

Posted by: D-Day at March 29, 2010 2:17 PM

Groundhog Day.

I fail.

Without even commenting on posts that mention Rhona Mitra & Rachel Weisz.

Epic fail.

(Skulking back to compulsive-ville ... stepping with left foot first.)

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at March 29, 2010 2:19 PM

Primer. You left off Primer. How the hell does that even make sense?

Posted by: Snath at March 29, 2010 2:20 PM

The time travel is, at best, incidental.

Pfffft. That's like saying the time travel is incidental in "Unidentified Flying Oddball". Come on!

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2010 2:21 PM

D-Day

I liked it.

Posted by: MM at March 29, 2010 2:23 PM

No Back to the Future!?! You fail, Dustin.

Posted by: Mebe at March 29, 2010 2:26 PM

The genius of what DR wrote in the above is that not only is he right, but he made it so long and boring that I don't think anyone wants to spend the time actually reading it.

Kudos, old boy!

Posted by: D-Day at March 29, 2010 2:29 PM

Forget the random list - I nominate this column as your best accompaniment to a random list yet.

That said, you really swung for the fences with those choices. I knew I was in trouble when I saw The Butterfly Effect at number five. Then Star Trek at four was just salt on the wound. Outrage indeed.

12 Monkeys
The Terminator
Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure
Groundhog Day

and the best of all...

A Sound Of Thunder

I can provoke outrage too.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 29, 2010 2:31 PM

Go back in time and remove The Butterfly Effect from this list!

BAM. I'm hilarious.

Posted by: whatBENwatches at March 29, 2010 2:32 PM

What about the third Ninja Turtles movie? HELLO?????

Posted by: TSF at March 29, 2010 2:34 PM

"A Connecticut Yankee in The Court of King Arthur" is the best time travel movie, period. Everything that came afterwards has been a poor imitation.

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle."

Beautiful!

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 29, 2010 2:49 PM

You omitted Back to the Future II and The Time Machine remake. And what about Black Knight? You must be racist to leave that one off. And Timeline. Michael Crichton's dead! You're disrespecting the dead! How could you!

You are evil. I demand that you commit suicide.

Posted by: Jerce at March 29, 2010 2:49 PM

The only part of this that is outrage-eliciting is the fact that you used principal when it should be principle.

This is pre-ENGL 101 shit here.

Posted by: Recondite at March 29, 2010 2:59 PM

I commend you, sir. You have compiled a list to which I can make no argument against. Other than those five movies listed, there are no movies that could possibly be added that could improve upon the utter perfection that you have shared with us upon this page. You are the unicorn to my Trent Reznor and would like to offer my uterus to incubate your glorious seed.

Posted by: admin at March 29, 2010 3:00 PM

Nice catch, Darth: I always giggle at that title, because my breasts are named Bill and Ted. I could drown in my own treacley cunning at the nickname for my Excellent Adventure. And the Hubby and I disagree over the merit of allowing The Bogus Journey on his birthday...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at March 29, 2010 3:01 PM

Interesting, even knowing what you were doing, I still went through the roller coaster up up through your explanation, then down the page, totally freaking out, head exploding until the very first comment by Fredo:

No TIME BANDITS?!

SHENANIGANS! SHENANIGANS!

and whooosh! The ride coasts to a stop as I read through the rest of the comments.. . .

Wally: Do you mean you knew what was happening to us all the time?

Supreme Being: Well, of course. I am the Supreme Being, I'm not entirely dim...

This list is also not dim either, it's brilliant.

Posted by: mswas at March 29, 2010 3:03 PM

To leave off the original Terminator, a brilliant re-imagining of the new testament virgin birth story. Brain-cramp.

Posted by: James S at March 29, 2010 3:05 PM

YOU MUUUUUTHERFUCKER! I WILL TEAR OUT YOUR EYES AND USE THEM TO REST MY BALLS IN! I WILL RIP THE SKULL OFF YOUR YELLOW NECK THROUGH YOUR FACE! I WILL PISS ON YOUR HEART AND FORCE FEED IT THROUGH YOUR PENIS HOLE AND COOK YOU SLOWLY BY WAY OF A ZIPPO LIGHTER! I'M GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR EYE-LIDS, YOU SHIT-EATING, GODDAMAN...

Wait, what were we doing? Oh yeah...

I WILL KILLLL YOUUUUU ROWLES, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OFF "12 MONKEYS?" HOW? DID YOUR BRAIN BREAK THIS MORNING WHEN YOU JACKED OFF YOUR LITTLE DICK, YOU MOTHERLESS FART-FUCKING SNAKE RAPIST? AND NO "BACK TO THE FUTURE!?" ARE YOU TRYING TO GET KILLED? BECAUSE I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE WHERE YOU LIVE WHILE YOU'RE THERE AND MURDER YOU RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FACE!

*takes slow sip of water*

I AM ENRAGED! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN CONSIDER PLACING "THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT" ANYWHERE NEAR THIS SACRED LIST! AND YOUR OMISION OF "BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE" IS SACRILIGE! IT IS WORTHY OF SLOW TORTUROUS DEATH AT THE HANDS OF SENTIENT, MALEVOLENT PIANO WIRES, YOU BLOOD-SUCKING, COWARDLY HERMAPHRODITIC, SLEAZY, BLOOD PUSTULE! I HOPE YOU DIE! I HOPE YOU WORSE THAN DIE!

(oh man, this is exhausting)

DIIIEEEE ROOOOWLES! DIIIIIEEEEEEE!

Posted by: ENRAGED SUPERASENTE at March 29, 2010 3:06 PM

@PaddyDog ~ I think that's from The Court Jester, with the brew that is true.

Posted by: Chickaboom at March 29, 2010 3:08 PM

Time Crimes is awesome. It makes up for your other, incredibly lackluster choices. And, honestly, if you are going to include Time Crimes, how can you do so without including Primer. Had you done that, you probably would have opened up a hole in the space/time continuum, and we would all be banging the girls and boys that we blew it with in the past, right now!

Posted by: professorlove at March 29, 2010 3:09 PM

I nominate 12 Monkeys as well. That was a perfect time travel movie.

As for Butterfly Effect outrage...the concept was an interesting one. However, I've read the same concept executed much much better in a Japanese Sci-Fi novel (Roughly translated "Man Who Random Walks" ) that freaked the shit out of me. I hope Butterfly Effect was not the knock off of it for I would really love to see that story get a movie treatment some day.

Posted by: yocean at March 29, 2010 3:11 PM

YOU MOTHERLESS FART-FUCKING SNAKE RAPIST
This is my new curse. I love you.

Posted by: Jerce at March 29, 2010 3:12 PM

"A Connecticut Yankee in The Court of King Arthur" is the best time travel movie, period. Everything that came afterwards has been a poor imitation.

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle."

Beautiful!

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 29, 2010 2:49

-----------------

Actually, that quote is from "the Court Jester", starring Danny Kaye.

Just saying......

Posted by: ThatsHowEyeRoll at March 29, 2010 3:13 PM

Chickaboom...

Jinx!

Posted by: ThatsHowEyeRoll at March 29, 2010 3:14 PM

By the way, just to elaborate the little of story, it was about time travel made possible through Quantum Physics and Brain Surgery, by two men who were deadly in love with a girl, whose existence goes beyond cause and effect. The guy who wrote it was seriously influenced by H.P. Lovecraft and it showed. Insanely creepy.

Posted by: yocean at March 29, 2010 3:17 PM

Yay! A time travel list that doesn't include Primer!

God I hated that movie.

Clever, yes, I guess. Well acted? Sure. Entertaining? Ah, well ...

Then again, I think my main objection to it was that I didn't buy the idea of people so intelligent using time travel for something so utterly boring.

Posted by: RudeMorgue at March 29, 2010 3:23 PM

Okay, so I got the movie wrong, but it was fun word play in an Arthurian setting. Leave me alone. I'm going to cry now.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 29, 2010 3:39 PM

The Butterfly Effect would have been better with about 100% less Ashton Crutcher, but the story is actually intriguing, if a bit downbeat. And I have to say, Crutcher actually tries his darndest to not be a douchebag throughout the entire movie -- and once you ponder now he natually behaves off camera you realize the level of self denial he exhibits is on par with Christian Bale's extreme starvation in The Machinist.

But, dude, where the hell is Jeane Claude Van Damne's Timecop?!?!! Or Peggy Sue Got Married?!?!!! How could you possibly omit those movies?

Posted by: Irving Washington at March 29, 2010 3:40 PM

The genius of what DR wrote in the above is that not only is he right, but he made it so long and boring that I don't think anyone wants to spend the time actually reading it.

HA! It's true. Who reads what's written before the SRL? That valuable time that could have been spent expressing my own opinion.

But seriously, I'm concerned about how many people might not be joking here.

Posted by: branded at March 29, 2010 3:45 PM

#5. The Butterfly Effect

Check, please...

Posted by: Case at March 29, 2010 3:54 PM

I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE WHERE YOU LIVE WHILE YOU'RE THERE AND MURDER YOU RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FACE!

Hahahahah! AWSE.

Posted by: Anna von Murderpuppet at March 29, 2010 3:57 PM

Oh please, Dustin. It's hard to muster rage at a list that doesn't even try and pretend to be halfway serious. Showing your hand can be fun, and we'll leap your hoops. To a degree. But you gave us the whole deck and not only winked, but nudged and elbowed and passed notes and made it a holiday. Based on comments above, you apparently proved your point. But you failed on one count.

Still, a fun spirit of experimentation (which is key to any relationship, healthy or deviant(see: Pajiba)) that I'd like to see again. Albeit with changes.

Posted by: coryo at March 29, 2010 4:02 PM

Is "It's a Wonderful Life" time travel, alternate reality or both? Because if it's time travel well then it just needs to be on that list. If not, never mind. Although if you want some rage, I can probably work some up. Because the Buterfly Effect is so fucking horrible I wanted to go back in time and hunt down the ancestors of everyone involved (including the key grip and caterer) to prevent that monstrosity from ever tainting my precious movie theater.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at March 29, 2010 4:18 PM

I cannot take seriously any such list that does not include "Hot Tub Time Machine." And I haven't seen "Hot Tub Time Machine," and I never will, but it deserves to be on there just for the title, like you cannot seriously leave a movie called "Snakes on a Plane" off any list of snake-on-plane movies. Hell, "time machine" is RIGHT THERE IN THE TITLE!

That's just dumn.

Posted by: , at March 29, 2010 4:32 PM

Suckers.

Posted by: Slash at March 29, 2010 4:33 PM

Time Crimes will always hold a special place in my heart. It was in its trailer thread where I first unveiled the Pink Oscar.

Christ, I'm old.

Posted by: Bizarro Sofía at March 29, 2010 4:45 PM

Dear Paddy I brought you some wine to make you feel better. . .I put it in the flagon with the dragon.

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 29, 2010 4:46 PM

I remember seeing The Butterfly Effect in theaters. We were all like, Yeah! We're teenagers and love any excuse to go someplace without our parents! Movie! YES!

And we all left like, Please, just take me home. I just want to go home. Mom?

Posted by: sheshakes at March 29, 2010 4:48 PM

oh, butterfly effect.

i smite thee with mine glorious smiter.

i went on a date to see time crimes with a guy who wore a really crappy smelling cologne. he smelled like a dirty hippy lady.

this is why i don't date.

but, the movie was great though. at least what little i remembered of it in between wondering whether the smelly guy was gonna try and touch me in a bad way and trips to the bathroom.

Posted by: stopthemadness at March 29, 2010 4:52 PM

What? No "Dr. Who and The Daleks." No "Daleks' Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D."

Both are retellings of existing television stories (specifically, the first two Dalek serials, The Daleks and The Dalek Invasion of Earth respectively) with a larger budget and alterations to the series concept.

In these films, Peter Cushing plays a human scientist named "Dr. Who", who travels with his two granddaughters and other companions in a time machine he has invented.

FOR SHAME.

On a more serious note, you put "The Butterfly Effect" on the list and not ANY of the "Back to the Future" movies?

Yeah, this list was designed to ellicit outrage. Good job, Dustin.

Posted by: BWeaves at March 29, 2010 4:54 PM

I mean, at the very least you could have put Back To The Future II on the list, which is the Temple of Doom of that series. Well, Temple of Doom was out-Templed by that Crystal Skull abortion, but in MY DAY (shakes walker), "Temple of Doom" was a phrase you could rely on.

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 29, 2010 5:03 PM

ahhjhhhhhhasedafdhashd1!!!!1
TIME BANDITS!!!111!ONE

Posted by: EricD at March 29, 2010 5:26 PM

Primer.

Posted by: trippdup at March 29, 2010 5:27 PM

A list "Specifically Designed to Elicit Outrage" and testing to see if it you can is one thing. But leaving off Time motherfucking Bandits was a cheat.

Posted by: EricD at March 29, 2010 5:31 PM

but in MY DAY (shakes walker), "Temple of Doom" was a phrase you could rely on.

You secure that shit, Hudson.

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2010 5:31 PM

The leave out "Back to The Future shows" you're a fucking douchebag.

Posted by: Herro at March 29, 2010 5:35 PM

Indiana Jones and the Raping of my Childhood

Get the title right.

God you got my Henry Jones, Jr. all acting-the-fuck up now bees!

The first fucking scene in the movie, they CGI'd a gorram prairie dog? Are you kidding me? Those animals are barely a step up on the evolutionary ladder from a retarded lemming. Has anyone been to Badlands National Park? There's a quarter mile stretch of dead, run over prairie dogs. If a 60 year old couple in a Honda can bag one of 'em, YOU CAN GET ONE WITH A CAMERA AND A ZOOM LENS!

Buuuuuut no, let's just send that shit ILM so I can sit around and fuck the fleshlight attachment on my R2-D2 while making sure accounting can get a tax write off for Harrison Ford's dignity! Anakin, MORE LUBE BOY, MORE LUBE! AND BRING ME ANOTHER 3 HUNGRY-MAN DINNERS! FUCK NO, DON'T BOTHER HEATING EM, I'LL JUST UNHINGE MY FAT JAW AND SWALLOW THE BOX!

Must......resist......urge........to self-immolate......


/light the bowl
/open My Documents/My Videos/Indy and the Last Crusade
/*O-face*

Alright, that's better.

Posted by: D-Day at March 29, 2010 5:40 PM

Last Crusade? Really?


Jesus.

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2010 5:43 PM

Yeah, you all heard me, but you're probably all beyond saving.

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2010 5:47 PM

Last Crusade! Nazis! (oh wait there were nazis in Raiders) Hot Chick! (oh wait, Marion is way hotter/spunkier) Why do I prefer Last Crusade. . . .ummmmm. . . .MARCUS BRODY GOT LOST IN HIS OWN MUSEUM.

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 29, 2010 5:55 PM

You've betrayed Shiva.

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2010 5:59 PM

True story, I've been known to chant "Kali Ma" while holding my hand over the heart of my friends and lovers. I've also been known to inflict Kate Capshaw and small asian stereotypes (whatchu doin' out of Goonies?) on my enemies.

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 29, 2010 6:02 PM

You are hilarious. I'm surprised you didn't just skip the explanation and save the list for April 1.

That would have been epic.

Posted by: MyySharona at March 29, 2010 6:10 PM

I've also been known to inflict

You mean "enrapture with".

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2010 6:12 PM

I go with Crusade for the following scenes;

Busting into Sean Connery's room in the Nazi Castle.
-"Junior!"
-"Yes, sir!"
Sallah punching that Nazi pencil-neck in the grill.
Motorcycle chase
"NO TICKET!"
The plane dogfight followed by Connery taking out a Messerchmitt (or whatev) with an umbrella and a flock of gulls
"We named the DOG Indiana..."

Not that I think it's a better movie than Raiders (it's not), but you gotta change up sometimes.

Posted by: D-Day at March 29, 2010 6:17 PM

Oooh, MyySharona, I was just thinking the other day what torments the Pajiba Overlords might be cooking up for April Fools Day.

Posted by: MM at March 29, 2010 6:22 PM

"Germany has declared war on the Jones boys."

"Henry, the pen."
"What?"
"Well don't you see? The PEN is mightier than the sword."

I don't have to dig a file out of My Documents. . .I can simulate O-Face anytime cause the movie's in my BRAIN.

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 29, 2010 6:22 PM

I almost didn't click this (correction: I waited many hours to click this) because the title gave away the gag.

And, in true Pajiba fashion, some people still weren't paying attention. Even if they were, they still expressed outrage that less mediocre time travel films were passed over on a list "Specifically Designed to Elicit Outrage."

But who am I to judge? One day, this shit will be pulled with haunted apartment films or black and white chillers and I'll be the one flinging feces at the monitor and raging about Roman Polanski/Val Lewton/Angela Bettis.

Posted by: Robert at March 29, 2010 6:25 PM

I fail to see Time After Time on this list.
I will assume that it was simply an oversight.

Posted by: courtney_1 at March 29, 2010 7:46 PM

I am outraged. I usually don't argue with the Seriously Random Lists, because the subject matter isn't that important, but how could you leave out the classic, Pajiba-loved time travel move: CLUE?

(Don't argue. They all travel back in time multiple times, in order to repeat and change the ending.)

Posted by: SaBrina at March 29, 2010 7:55 PM

"THE DISTANCE FROM YOUR PEDESTAL TO THE LOWEST LEVEL OF HELL IS SO GOD DAMN SHORT A FUCKING CAT COULDN'T LAND RIGHT UP-SIDE UP!"

Posted by: D-Day at March 29, 2010 2:14 PM

Well, that gets my vote for Eloquent Eloquence

Posted by: PB3 at March 29, 2010 9:29 PM

This is my boom stick!

Posted by: Nicolae at March 29, 2010 10:33 PM

This quote signifies all that is wrong with our society:

I cannot take seriously any such list that does not include "Hot Tub Time Machine." And I haven't seen "Hot Tub Time Machine," and I never will, but it deserves to be on there just for the title, like you cannot seriously leave a movie called "Snakes on a Plane" off any list of snake-on-plane movies. Hell, "time machine" is RIGHT THERE IN THE TITLE!

That's just dumn.

You, sir/lady, are a dumnass! "Hot Tub Time Machine" is a riotous romp through time (the 80's to be exact) and a worthy heir to "The Hangover."

Posted by: James S at March 29, 2010 10:37 PM

you know, technically, The Butterfly Effect isn't really a "time travel" movie. It's more about simultaneous, alternate universes. (like Julia & Julia, which you still haven't seen, btw)

Time travel movies are about time travel (Time after Time, Back to the Future)
But you knew that. You just wanted to stir up some dust, hey?

Posted by: maewest at March 29, 2010 11:20 PM

The Butterfly Effect shouldn't be on this list. The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations is the better, real time travel movie.

Posted by: PB3 at March 29, 2010 11:29 PM

um, like hellooo...Freejack anyone?

anyone?

Posted by: causaubon at March 30, 2010 12:59 AM

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah,

I love the smell of HATE in the morning!

The incredible warm fuzzy feeling of DR screwing us Loyal Readers in a dark hole with seashell sand as lube, and all of us moaning Ooooooooo thatsgood. Deeper. Fill me, Dustin. Fill me to the brim..


BTW,
Love the catcurse, D-Day!

Posted by: Magiel at March 30, 2010 6:05 AM

You gotta be fucking kidding me! No "Black Knight"? No "Timeline"? No "Star Trek: The Quest for Seaworld"? You sir, are a fail of the highest order.

Posted by: TylerDFC at March 30, 2010 6:44 AM

T2 isn't even the best Terminator movie (the first one was), and as noted above Back to the Future has to be on the list. Maybe it's just me, the time travel element and Leonard Nimoy were the only things I didn't like about the latest Star Trek.

Posted by: hendero at March 30, 2010 9:04 AM

BTW, "dumn" is a contraction of "damn dumb" and I invented it and I have copyrighted its use. Send me 10 cents, James S., or you will be hearing from my attorney.

Posted by: , at March 30, 2010 9:31 AM

What about the one where Superman goes back in time to have sex with Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?

Posted by: sars at March 30, 2010 10:06 AM

What about the one where Superman goes back in time to have sex with Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?

Jeez, it's like no one reads my comments! Gah!

Posted by: Jay at March 30, 2010 10:32 AM

Story of my life, Jay.

Posted by: Magiel at March 30, 2010 11:02 AM

Star Trek completely deserved to be on this list. That's all I have to say.

P.S. - D-Day, I liked it.

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at March 30, 2010 11:48 AM

I would put Primer over Butterfly Effect, good list though.

Posted by: Blinky at March 30, 2010 1:24 PM

april fools 2 days early?

Posted by: sara at March 30, 2010 1:49 PM

By the amount of comments, I suppose the experiment's a success. However, I have two problems: one with the list and one with the theory behind the exercise.

1. The list is so narrow (this could go as high as twenty and still leave out worthy contenders) that, instead of debating over one or two items left out, we end up arguing over each different list everyone has. While that's not necessarily a bad thing, it seems more like everyone creating her or his own SRL instead of debating with Dustin's SRL.

2. I think this whole exercise, as well as the insecure 'critics' out there, ignores the urge commenters have to 'jockey for position', so that, even if you create a list with all real possible entries, you will still get a discussion centered around:

"why is movie X over Y?"
"why is movie Z over X and Y?"
"what kind of fucking moron are you?"

So, Dustin, even if you create a comprehensive SRL (an oxymoron for sure), rest assured that any hierarchy you create will generate outrage and discussion.

Posted by: Big Softie at March 30, 2010 5:19 PM

Well played sir!

Posted by: Perx at March 31, 2010 9:58 PM

HOW THE HELL IS DONNIE DARKO NOT NUMBER ONE ON THIS LIST!!?!?!? It isn't even on here!!!!! You are CRAAAAZZYYY

Posted by: Colin at March 31, 2010 11:33 PM

Time Crimes is a brilliant film, Primer would have been my list though.

Posted by: foofe at April 2, 2010 10:10 AM