Shut Your Mouth, I Know What You Are: Five Things You Might Not Have Heard About This Week
I find the Important Stuff so you don’t have to.
5. An Inordinate Number of Sports Figures Died This Week.
American baseball player, Danny Clyburn (shot); American basketball player, Jim Dinwiddie (alleged suicide); Dutch Olympic athlete ,Joe Zwaan; Hungarian Water Polo player, István Udvardi; Paraguayan footballer, Juan Vicente Lezcano; American Olympic boxer, Jay Lambert; Irish hurler, Phil Shanahan; American soccer player and coach, Harry Keough; Spanish footballer, Enrique Moreno; American basketball player, Lew Hitch; British racehorse jockey and trainer, Josh Gifford; American Alpine skier, Jill Kinmont Boothe; Ukrainian hockey coach, Ivan Pravilov.
4. We Also Lost an Astronaut,Three Actors and Whitney Houston.
Emmy and Grammy Award winning singer and actress Whitney Houston died of unknown causes on Saturday afternoon; she was 48. According to TMZ, Houston was found unresponsive in her room at the Beverly Hilton and though paramedics performed CPR, she could not be revived and was pronounced dead. A police crime lab was seen outside the hotel.
NASA astronaut Janice E. Voss, who flew five space missions (tying the record of American women) died from cancer at 55.
Actor/Director/Cinematographer, Bill Hinzman (Night of the Living Dead, River of Darkness, Santa Claws, The Crazies) died from cancer at age 75.
Actor Sam Coppola (Saturday Night Fever), “The Wire, The Good Wife, The Sopranos, The Practice”)—no relation to Francis Ford—passed away at 79.
Actor Peter Breck (Benji, “The Big Valley, General Hospital, Yes Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus, The Fall Guy”) passed at 82.
3. RDJ and His Wife Had a Son They Named Exton Elias and Beyonce and Jay-Z Trademarked Their Baby’s Name.
It would seem Iron Man and Co. are keeping with the Conception Location Baby Naming Theme (that’s my guess, anyway) going…presumably we’ll get to know the little fella simply as “X.”
Meanwhile, remember when naming your kid you should always keep in mind the possible fashion line that will follow—because what is life without foisting your bad taste in clothes upon the tiniest of others? Yes, “Blue Ivy” will be PillowMama’s new children’s clothing line. I’ll bet you can’t wait to see the miniature of this:
2. Supermodel and Apparent Football Expert, Gisele Bundchen Told the World Why the New England Patriots Lost the Super Bowl. It ain’t Tom Brady’s fault! “I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times. My husband cannot f—-king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.”
1. John Goodman and Roseanne Barr Will Ride Again. Goodman is reportedly close to signing a deal to star in Barr’s new pilot for NBC, “Downwardly Mobile.” The actor would play an ex-Marine who lives in Barr’s mobile home park. Damn, I was hoping they’d be rich this time.
Cindy Davis wouldn’t know what was important if it slapped her in the face.
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