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Seriously, Tom Cruise, A Fat Suit? 14 Recent Supporting Characters I'd Rather See Get Their Own Film.

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | April 11, 2011 | Comments ()

Kim Pine--"Scott Pilgrim vs. The World"
Why? She's ten times bossier than Les Grossman.
Proposed Title: I Am Sex Bob-Omb

Arthur and Eames--"Inception"
Why? They look better in vests.
Proposed Title: Dare to Dream

Rosemary and Dill Pendergast--"Easy A"
Why? Think of all the untapped herb jokes. No, seriously, think of some. I couldn't.
Proposed Title: "T" Is For Tallywacker

Dan and Box--"Going The Distance"
Why? Did you see the movie? You didn't, did you? Just skip through to all of the Sudeikis/Day scenes. Trust me.
Proposed Title: Must Be This Tall To Ride This Moustache

The Gunsmith--"Wanted"
Why? Prequel.
Proposed Prequel Title: The Loom of Destiny: Destiny Looms

Pavel Andreievich Chekov and Hikaru Sulu--"Star Trek"
Why? We need more yellow in our lives. What? I'm talking about their Federation shirts. Racists.
Proposed Title: "V" Is For Wictory

The Pale Man--"Pan's Labyrinth"
Why? Because my nightmares aren't nightmarish enough.
Proposed Title: Eye See You

Why? He shows more range of emotion than Grossman ever could.
Proposed Title: GERT-E

Bianca--"Lars and the Real Girl"
Why? Her breasts are more life-like than Grossman's.
Proposed Title: They're Real and They're Spectacular

That Cattle Gun--"No Country For Old Men"
Why? Tell me you didn't light up every time it was on screen.
Proposed Title: The Cattle Gunslinger

Joanna Robinson realizes she should never be in charge of naming movies.

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day 04/11/11 | People, Let Me Tell You About My Best Friend: Television's Greatest Pals

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