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Seriously Shallow List: Ranking 6 Upcoming Blockbusters Based On the Amount of Sexy They Contain

By Jodi Clager | Seriously Random Lists | August 13, 2013 | Comments ()


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Sure, I could compare the various story lines, directors, and adherence to the source material, but that just isn’t as fun. Each of these blockbusters is represented by five sexy ladies and gentlemen from the production; their sexiness has been smashed into one big ball of hotness for me to judge. Believe me, it was difficult to narrow some of these casts down to just five people. I did, however, enjoy smashing them together.

6. The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone

emma-stone-andrew-garfield.jpg

Felicity Jones

Felicity+Jones+London+Evening+Standard+Theatre+a6SFMMy9FYkl.jpg

Chris Zylka

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Sarah Gadon

Sarah Gadon 2 header.jpg

5. Guardians of the Galaxy

Chris Pratt

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Zoe Saldana

Zoe-Saldana-Widescreen-Wallpaper-zoe-saldana-9854881-1680-1050.jpg

Karen Gillan

karen-gillan-guardians-of-the-galaxy.jpg

Lee Pace

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Djimon Hounsou

djimon.jpg

4. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Jennifer Lawrence

jennifer_lawrence_7.jpg

Lenny Kravitz

lenny-kravitz-2-lessthan3.jpg

Elizabeth Banks

elizabeth-banks-9-funny-wallpaper-1600x1200.jpg

Liam Hemsworth

liam-hemsworth-0.jpg

Meta Golding

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3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Chris Evans

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Sebastian Stan

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Emily VanCamp

emily-vancamp-600.jpg

Anthony Mackie

anthony_mackie_.jpg

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett-Johansson-Beauty.jpg

2. X-Men: Days of Future Past

James McAvoy/Patrick Stewart and Michael Fassbender/Ian McKellan

James-McAvoy-Patrick-Stewart-Ian-McKellan-and-Michael-Fassbender-600x392.jpg

Peter Dinklage

peter-dinklage.jpg

Evan Peters

evan-peters-xmen-616x316.jpg

Shawn Ashmore

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1. Thor: The Dark World

Chris Hemsworth

Chris-Hemsworth.jpg

Tom Hiddleston

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Idris Elba

Idris-Elbatweed.jpg

Jaimie Alexander

Jaimie-Matt-jaimie-alexander-9530678-600-400.jpg

Zachary Levi

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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • e jerry powell

    And we're looking at Chris Evans from the front why?

  • We give short-people love to Peter Dinklage, but not Josh Hutcherson? Come on. Come onnnn.

  • MelBivDevoe

    I'ma just submit those post for my next year's Five Freebies. Just subtract the Hall of Famers, and, uh, give me extra votes, I guess. Whatever. I'll be in my bunk until then.

  • AshBookworm

    Why are none of the women of the upcoming X-Men movie featured? You picked Ashmore but not Halle Berry or Anna Paquin, just to name a couple?

  • cgthegeek

    mmmm... chris evans...

  • Hater from Siloam Springs

    Jaimie Alexander for Wonder Woman. Immediately.

  • Bea Pants

    I know he only has a bit part in Captain America, but Georges St. Pierre merits a mention...seriously.

  • Maguita NYC

    I met him last year! He is so funny with the cutest Kébécois accent, and really truly a gentleman.

    Although he has earned his celeb status on his own and has defended his title for quite some time now, I believe it was Mandy Moore's crush that put him on the map.

  • emmalita

    Hello! And who are you?

  • Bea Pants

    Current Welterweight champion of the UFC and totally stuntcast, but if we're measuring cast sexiness...

  • emmelemm

    Hello, Lee Pace! It's been a while, but g*dd*mn is that picture hot.

  • misslucyjane

    Sebastian Stan.

    Good god almighty.

  • Mythra Sun

    I concur!

  • Samantha Klein

    I actually really liked him in the first Cap and I'm pumped that he's coming back. :)

  • foolsage

    Huh. You listed Cap 2 and Thor but left out three pretty key players there:

    http://img2.timeinc.net//ew/i/...

    http://www.wallpixy.com/wp-con...

    http://images4.fanpop.com/imag...

  • Eva

    Evan Peters is going to be in the new XMen!?? That is fantastic news!!

  • BAM

    What the hell? Why are there only 11 women and 21 men featured here? And when did Natalie Portman get kicked off the attractive celebrity train?

    Come on now, Pajiba. I'm a little disappointed.

  • I'm vaguely upset that you picked the Lesser Hemsworth over Josh Hutcherson and his jaw. Vaguely upset, ma'am!

  • mairimba

    Figs, Jodi doesn't need the people from To Catch a Predator monitoring her now, does she?

  • He's 21!!

    OK I looked up his IMDB and he was born in 1992 and now I'm thoroughly depressed.

    Aaaand grossed out at myself, but just a little bit.

  • Drake

    Hello, Mad Hatter!

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    The obvious solution is to watch all of them, which is what I plan on doing. We can have it all, people!

    A more pressing issue is why Anthony Mackie is not in the Pajiba 10. Are you people blind?

  • I am so totally on board with this list!

  • John W

    Too close to call.

  • I feel like the combined ultra hotness of Lee Pace, Chris Pratt, and Karen Gillan deserves to be higher on this list. I don't know why I feel so strongly about this, but dammit, it's Tuesday and I'm bored.

  • mairimba

    Thank you for posting Liam and not itty bitty Josh Hutcherson!

  • I am downvoting you for that, MADAM.

  • mairimba

    He looks like he's 12, Figgy.

  • llp

    12 year old's don't have that jawline! Figgy is right, right I tell you!

  • mairimba

    Ya. Only ancient stone heads do!

  • llp

    Not ONLY, just MOSTLY.

  • ONE DAY HE WON'T.

    I feel so dirty.

  • Sherry

    But where's Sam Claflin! I want Finnick!

  • alwaysanswerb

    I want Finnick too. Sam Claflin, I can do without

  • Jerce

    WHAT the HELL is Evan Peters WEARING?

  • simplysarah

    The only one with the complete sexy package for me is Captain America, next closest would be Hunger Games.

  • $65530708

    YOU GOT IT WRONG.

    6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier - VANILLA = BORING (including Mackie).
    5. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 - Blond Emma can only do so much on her own.
    No Paul Giamatti love?
    4. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - You forgot Jena Malone.
    3. Thor: The Dark World - You forgot Kat Dennings.
    2. X-Men: Days of Future Past - Olds and Youngs, can't go wrong.
    1. Guardians of the Galaxy - Ned, Andy, and Amy Pond? Total Sploosh.

    FIXED.

    *Considering Asians make up 60% of the worlds population not one appearing in any of these tent poles is a little disheartening.

  • George Tarleton

    You are correct. THE ABSENCE OF KAT DENNINGS IS SHAMEFUL.

    Ms. Clager, between this and your cap-ass gif misstep, I'm afraid I must cry shenanigans.

    -10,000 Internets for you. Please make haste to the corner and place the conical cap upon your brow.

    You may return tomorrow, and I shall love you anew.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    Okay. /sad George Michael walk

  • Jen

    " Thor: The Dark World - You forgot Kat Dennings."

    Yes but they also forgot Natalie Portman and for that I thank you.

  • mairimba

    No one needs to be reminded of Jena Malone.

  • Especially for that role. I'm hoping to be proved wrong but it feels like a miscasting to me.

  • $65530708

    Meh... A little column A, a little column B. Again I've got a weird thing for her (since Saved) and I can't see her being that awful as Johanna.

  • I think my problem with Jena as Johanna is that she seems like she's almost-but-not-quite-right for the part. She does still have some Saved goodwill banked for me so I'm hoping for the best.

  • $65530708

    Is that Snark? I've always had a weird thing for Jena and she has a life time free pass.

  • mairimba

    No. Seriously. We don't need to be reminded that she's playing Johanna Mason. It's all kinds of wrong.

  • I'm still mad that it's not Kristen Bell.

  • $65530708

    I don't think Bell would have been a good fit either (especially over Malone).

  • Irina

    Am I the only person here who finds Josh Hutcherson attractive? Maybe not drop-your-panties hot, but severely-bangable-puppy loving-gay rights activist-boy-next-door sort of thing. I'd pick him anyday over The Blander Hemsworth.

  • llp

    You are not alone. J-Hutch got a honorable mention on my top 10 two years ago. Small, but attractive and seemingly intelligent.

  • RigbyReardon

    Totes. Though, full disclosure, my boyfriend looks eerily similar to him. Full full disclosure, he looks like if Josh Hutcherson and Jesse Pinkman had a baby. Weee!

  • melissa82

    Pics or it didn't happen.

  • RigbyReardon

    I actually want to, just to prove it, but then his picture would be on the internetz, and I wouldn't be very anonymous anymore. Can you internet strangers just trust me? You can trust me.

  • Samantha Klein

    This post is easily better than the Pajiba 10 this year, and that's sad.

  • Samantha Klein

    Also, why am I still struggling over adding Lee Pace to my actual, official Top Five? He is fucking gorgeous. I need help.

  • Go watch an episode of Pushing Daisies. The struggle will cease.

  • Samantha Klein

    I've watched all of it! And actually, I like him better in Wonderfalls. I'm a commitment-phobe. :(

  • I have been wanting to watch that, but it is damn hard to find! I will have to just take people's word for it and purchase.

  • Samantha Klein

    I have heard that such things are often available via illegal download, but being an upstanding citizen, I don't really know anything about that. ;)

  • Eduardo Ramirez

    apparently i'm the only person on this earth who thinks Andrew Garfield is no sexy like, at all =/

    i was going to say X-Men for Fassbender alone, but then i saw this picture and i noticed McAvoy has gained some weight =(

    so it's either Thor or Captain America

  • AvaLehra

    I don't either. Nothing there.

  • Jen

    I think he's hideous. So, you are not alone.

  • Natallica

    I don't like him either. I like men, not boys.

  • simplysarah

    You're not alone. I don't think Andrew Garfield is anywhere close to sexy.

  • Julie Chase

    I want to live in Lee Pace's eyebrows. I don't care if that's weird.

  • PDamian

    Dibs on his chest. I shall recline there regally, and slap off all would-be interlopers.

  • llp

    You can have his eyebrows, as I am going to take up residency in his pants. Now you know where to redirect my mail.

  • emmalita

    Now we know what "llp" stands for- "livin' in Lee's pants"

  • llp

    In other news, one pair of women's pants have been vacated. Mint condition, available NOW.

    Please contact Livin' in Lee's Pants (formerly llp) for more information.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Mint condition? I doubt it.

  • llp

    Ok, "lightly used." Who are you, the condition accuracy police?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    when it comes to the previously worn garments of someone with moistened lions? yeah, I might be.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I really don't want to hear about that certification process.

  • emmalita

    Hasn't she said things about fires, itching, and an infestation of moist lions? I remember at least one moist lion.

  • Maguita NYC

    So her pants are then a wash?

  • emmalita

    I may be casting aspersions unfairly. That lioness does look like she's headed for Lee Pace's pants with alacrity!

  • Maguita NYC

    No worries, I'm faster and can beat anyone to his pants.

  • llp

    Whoa, whoa, whoa. That escalated quickly, and not in a "I killed a guy with a trident" kind of way.

  • Maguita NYC

    You're gonna have to 'splain that... Also, I tend to jump all over the place when getting to the man-pants I want.

  • llp

    I was just innocently selling some nearly mint condition pants and then I went to work and all of a sudden i come back here and it burns when I pee and there are wild beasts everywhere.

    That kind of escalation.

  • go_nelly

    *ctfu* this thread is all i need to make it through this day.

  • emmalita

    Hey! I didn't say anything about your pee. I said I thought you mentioned pants bursting into flame, or at least smoldering after certain Pajiba pictorials, possibly some other things, and I'm sure lions were involved.

  • llp

    I extrapolated from the itching and fire references.

  • emmalita

    A leap too far. I would never suggest any of the pee burning scenarios in regards to you, unless you also start talking a lot about cranberry juice.

  • llp

    Why, does cranberry juice help? Ummm, asking for a friend, obviously.

  • emmalita

    Oh sure. Tell your friend that cranberry juice is a traditional home treatment for UTI's. Make sure your friend gets the unsweetened juice. I know this from friends, of course.

  • llp

    This has come a long way from my recent relocation into Lee Pace's trousers.

  • emmalita

    The magic of Pajiba.

  • Maguita NYC

    But you still enjoy it, right?

  • llp

    Absolutely.

  • emmalita

    It's Tuesday on Pajiba. We don't get to killing people with tridents until after the EE list is released on Friday.

  • llp

    I'm just gonna lay low for a while, then.

  • emmalita

    Noooooo! Don't go away. I promise no more aspersions on your mint condition pants.

  • llp

    That sounds like the lyrics to a Beck song.

  • George Tarleton

    I must admit that I'm rather disappointed, Jodi. This was a perfect opportunity for the Cap-Ass gif.

    You have failed us, madam.

  • emmalita

    If she wears out the Cap Ass gif it will loose it's effectiveness. This way we'll be going along and BOOM! CapAss!

  • Maguita NYC

    This makes no sense whatsoever.

    It is like saying multiple orgasms are bad for you. Untrue.

  • emmalita

    I'm just trying to make the best of a bad situation!

  • Maguita NYC

    By making it worse??

    How about we meet half-way: I give thee Cap Ass pic, but no looping tweak.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Sorry! Sorry! Wrong photo -

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