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Scarily Random List: The 6 True Stories That Would Make Terrifying Movies

By Jodi Clager | Seriously Random Lists | October 7, 2013 | Comments ()


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Be aware that much of this is probably not safe for work or for sleeping later.

Villisca Axe Murder House

Josiah and Sarah Moore lived in Villisca, Iowa with their four children in 1912. One night the family left their home to attend a funeral with their neighbors, Lena and Ina Stillinger, who would also be spending the night at the Moore's house. At some point an intruder or intruders entered the home and killed all eight inhabitants with Josiah's axe. The children were aged 11 to 5 when the murder occurred and the site is supposedly haunted.

I'm guessing the story would need some details added and some extraneous filler, but the Villisca Axe Murder House could be a terrifying film. The older of the Stillinger sisters was believed to have fought with the attacker, unlike any of the other victims. Something making Lena the focal point of the movie might make for exciting horror, even if Hollywood decides to let her live to create a better ending to the story.

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Clipperton Island Tragedy of 1917

Clipperton Island was once the site of a guano mining operation spearheaded by The British Pacific Island Company and Mexico. A small population of around 100 women, men, and children occupied the island by 1914. They were advised to evacuate the island during the Mexican Revolution, but the island's governor decided that was crazy talk. Eventually, all of the men on the island perished from disease or failed attempts to find help. Except for one man: Lighthouse keeper Victoriano Álvarez. Álvarez crowned himself king and began raping and murdering the women of the settlement.

Then he crossed the wrong woman. Álvarez was murdered by Tirza Rendon when he tried to pull his kingly bullsh*t on her. Tell me this wouldn't be an amazing film and I'll call you a liar! A FILTHY LIAR!

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Hinterkaifeck

This is another home invasion murder of a family, but it's German! Farmer Andreas Gruber, his wife, his widowed daughter, and her two children lived together with their maid Maria Baumgartner. (As an aside, Andreas was rumored to be the father of his youngest grandchild. Ew.)

Prior to the murders, Gruber complained to neighbors about hearing footsteps in the attic of the home, seeing footprints leading from the forest to the house, and losing the keys to the house. Oh, the previous maid had left the farm because she believed it to be haunted. On Friday, March 31, 1922,each member of the family was lured to the barn where they were murdered with a pickaxe. It was later determined by investigators that Gruber's eldest grandchild, Cäzilia, did not die immediately and was surrounded by the corpses of her family as she pulled hair from her own scalp before passing.

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Armin Meiwes

Armin Meiwes killed and ate a willing victim he found on the internet. Do I need to tell you more?

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O Caso das Máscaras de Chumbo

Two dead men were discovered on Vintém Hill in Brazil wearing suits, water-proof coats, and lead masks. They were later identified as electronic technicians named Manoel Pereira da Cruz and Miguel José Viana. The two men also had a note with them that read "16:30 (04:30 PM) be at the agreed place. 18:30 (06:30 PM) swallow capsules, after effect, protect metals, wait for mask signal." The hill was also rumored to be the site of alien activity and sightings.

Reconstructing the events prior to their deaths would be some strange sh*t.

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Carl Tanzler

Carl Tanzler was a radiologic technologist in Florida. He became obsessed with a tuberculosis patient named Elena Milagro "Helen" de Hoyos. When she died, he absconded with her corpse from the mausoleum he had built for her, preserving her body and living with it in his home for seven years.

It's like Lars and the Real Girl, but with a crazy German dude and a corpse. It's Hollywood gold.

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Biz Break: Roseanne Unloads on Chuck Lorre on Twitter, and TV's Latest Renewals and Cancellations | The 20 Biggest Opening Weekends of All Time for Films with Over 90 Percent on Rotten Tomatoes


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Jackie Jormpjomp

    Home invasions with entire families killed....uh yeah real entertaining you f*cking nutjob. The Cliperton story does sound like something Klaus Kinski would have starred in (or lived) years ago. Hard to imagine any of these being anything but an endurance test for 99 to 120 minutes.

  • I remember that last one from HBO's Autopsy series!!!! Dude inserted a tube inside her so he could have undead relations.

    I had weird tastes in tv during college.

  • Y'all ever heard the story of Liver-Eating Johnson? I've always thought that would make a good movie:

    "Rumors, legends, and campfire tales abound about Johnson. Perhaps chief among them is this one: In 1847, his wife, a member of the Flathead
    American Indian tribe, was killed by a young Crow brave and his fellow hunters, which prompted Johnson to embark on a vendetta against the tribe.The legend says that he would cut out and eat the liver of each man killed.This was an insult to Crow because the Crow believed the liver to be vital if one was to go on to the afterlife."

    "Another tale ascribed to Johnson was of being ambushed by a group of Blackfoot warriors in the dead of winter on a foray to sell whiskey to his Flathead kin, a trip that would have been over five hundred miles. The Blackfoot planned to sell him to the Crow, his mortal enemies, for a handsome price. He was stripped to the waist, tied with leather thongs and put in a teepee with only one, very inexperienced guard. Johnson managed to break through the straps, then knocked out his young guard with a kick, took his knife and scalped him, then quickly cut off one of his legs. He made his escape into the woods, surviving by eating the Blackfoot's leg, until he reached the cabin of Del Que, his trapping partner, a journey of about two hundred miles."

  • Salieri2

    I thought this was it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00...

    No?

  • Uriah_Creep

    It is, if you can believe the IMDB FAQ on Jeremiah Johnson:

    "Is "Jeremiah Johnson" based on a book?

    Two books, actually. The character, Jeremiah Johnson, is said to have
    been based on a legendary mountain man, John "Liver-Eating" Johnson
    [c.1824-1900], as presented in the 1958 biography Crow Killer: The Saga of Liver-Eating Johnson by Raymond Thorp and Robert Bunker. Vardis Fisher's Mountain Man (1965) was also adapted for the movie by screenwriters John Milius and Edward Anhalt"

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Augh, I hadn't heard about that one. Weird.

  • I always thought this http://www.thedailybeast.com/a....... Would make a fucking crazy movie.

  • Nina

    Oh, and there is another one about Hinterkaifeck, called Tannoed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Nina

    There actually has been a movie made about Hinterkaifek. I have not seen it but it might be worth a try.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Bert_McGurt

    I'd like to see a (proper) film about the Mad Trapper of Rat River (It seems there was a Charles Bronson film in the early 80's which loosely copped the story).

    A man in his mid-thirties calling himself Albert Johnson arrived in Fort McPherson, Northwest Territories in July, 1931. He was questioned on his arrival by a local RCMP constable, but other than his name all the constable could glean was a Scandinavian accent and that he seemed to have plenty of money. He sailed a native-built raft to the Mackenzie River delta and built a small shack, but oddly never took out a trapping license.

    In December a native trapper complained to the RCMP that his traps were being tampered with, blaming Johnson. Two officers ventured 60 miles to his cabin but he refused to speak to them. They returned five days later with a warrant and two other men. Again he refused to speak to them. As one of the officers went to force the door open, he was shot by Johnson. After a brief firefight they retreated in order to get medical assistance for the wounded officer.

    A posse was then rounded up, including nine men, 42 dogs, and 20 lbs of dynamite. They surrounded the cabin and tossed the dynamite inside. The explosion blew the roof off the building, but as the men rushed in Johnson began shooting at them from inside the damaged shack. After 15 hours the posse retreated to get further assistance and supplies (again, 60 miles, in the Northwest Territories, in DECEMBER).

    The posse returned in mid-January, finding Johnson gone. Two weeks later they caught up with him, but Johnson shot and killed one of the officers (the same one who first spoke with him in Fort McPherson, in fact). The posse retreated and gathered support from local Inuit bands. Johnson was headed for the Yukon, and even though RCMP blocked both passes through the mountains, he climbed a 7000 ft peak and disappeared again.

    The RCMP hired a WWI aviator to assist in the search from the air. In mid-February he discovered that Johnson had been obscuring his tracks by following caribou tracks in the middle of the (frozen) river, which also helped him move without leaving snowshoe tracks. By February 17th the posse caught up with Johnson and another firefight ensued, wounding an RCMP officer and killing Johnson (the officer survived due to the plane being in close proximity).

    Johnson had travelled 150 miles, on foot, in the middle of an Arctic winter, over 40 days. It was later found that his spine was curved and one foot was longer than the other. On his person at death was over $2000 in Canadian and American currency, some gold, a compass, razor, knife, fish hooks, nails, a dead squirrel, a dead bird, 32 kidney pills, and two glass jars - one containing five pearls and the other, seven teeth with gold fillings believed to be his own.

    Since the time of his first meeting with RCMP in Fort McPherson, the only sound he was heard to make was his laughter after killing the RCMP officer. To this day, no one knows who he was, why he had so much money (and expensive dental work) or if he was even guilty of tampering with the trap lines.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Oh yes, I've heard of him--Canadian Pride. Why isn't there a Canada Post commercial about him?

  • Brandon

    Apparently the Hinterkaifeck has been made into 3 movies and a novel and a couple of books by journalists. You're posting the links...please follow them and get accurate information, is it that difficult? And yeah, the GIFS. The stories are actually interesting, just present them better.

  • GrumpyNana

    can we please scale back on the GIFs. Please. Can't read the artcle because everything is too distracting, and not even relevant. Yes, I know you can turn them off for web browsing, but you can't for tablets. Just give it a lttle rest, just a wee vacation. i really don't know anyone who prefers them in real life.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    Since you asked so nicely? Yes. I will give them a rest.

  • BWeaves

    I'm surprised there hasn't been a docudrama about Frank Lloyd Wright, yet.

    He said he was born in 1869, but records show he was born in 1867, which implies he may have been iligitimate.

    His parents divorced in 1885, and he never heard from his father again.

    In 1889, a year after he began working for Louis Sullivan, the 22-year-old Wright married a 19-year-old woman named Catherine Tobin, and they eventually had six children together.

    Then he designed some famous buildings.

    In 1909, after 20 years of marriage, Wright suddenly abandoned his wife, children and practice and moved to Germany with a woman named Mamah Borthwick Cheney, the wife of a client.

    In 1913, Wright and Cheney returned to the United States, and Wright designed them a home on the land of his maternal ancestors in Spring Green, Wisconsin. Named Taliesin, Welsh for "shining brow," it was one of the most acclaimed works of his life.

    In 1914 when a deranged servant set fire to the house by blocking all the windows and doors (except one) with fires. As Cheney and six others ran out the door, he killed them with an axe. Although Wright was devastated by the loss of his lover and home, he immediately began rebuilding Taliesin in order to, in his own words, "wipe the scar from the hill."

    The next year, in 1915, the Japanese Emperor commissioned Wright to design the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo. He spent the next seven years on the project, a beautiful and revolutionary building that Wright claimed was "earthquake proof." Only one year after its completion, the Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923 devastated the city and tested the architect's claim. Wright's Imperial Hotel was the city's only large structure to survive the earthquake intact. (You thought that one was going to end badly, didn't you?)

    Returning to the United States, he married a sculptor named Miriam Noel in 1923; they stayed together for four years before divorcing in 1927. In 1925 another fire, this one caused by an electrical problem, destroyed Taliesin, forcing him to rebuild it once again.

    In 1928, Wright married his third wife, Olga (Olgivanna) Ivanovna Lazovich—who also went by the name Olga Lazovich Milanov, after her famous grandfather Marko.

    In the 1930's, his career kind of ended, because nobody was building anything during the Great Depression.

    Then, in 1935, he suddenly burst back onto the public stage to design many of the greatest buildings of his life. Wright announced his return to the profession in dramatic fashion in 1935 with Fallingwater, a residence for Pittsburgh's acclaimed Kaufmann family.

    Then in the late 1930s, Wright constructed about 60 middle-income homes known as "Usonian Houses." The aesthetic precursor to the modern "ranch house," these sparse yet elegant houses employed several revolutionary design features such as solar heating, natural cooling and "carports" for automobile storage.

    In 1938, Wright put forth a stunning design for the Monona Terrace Civic Center overlooking Lake Monona in Madison, Wisconsin, but he failed to secure public funding for the project. In 1992, 33 years after the architect's death, the state finally approved funding for the building's construction, which was completed in 1997, nearly 60 years after Wright finished his designs.

    Frank Lloyd Wright passed away on April 9, 1959, at the age 91,

    Combine his colorful life, with the amazing buildings, and it would make a fantastic miniseries.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I'm drawing a blank and don't know if McCrea's wife was among the victims. Was she?

    WAIT: Mark this day in history: One comment section, two cases of murderers swallowing acid. Parrrrrrrr-ttttttyyyyyy!

  • BWeaves

    OK here's a more detailed version of the murders:

    On August 15, 1914, tragedy struck at Taliesin. Wright was away on business in Chicago and Mamah, her two children, John age 11, Martha age nine, a foreman named Thomas Brunker, two draftsmen named Emil Brodelle and Herb Fritz, a gardener named David Lindblom, a carpenter named William Weston and his son Ernest age 13, also two servants, Julian and Gertrude Carlton remained at Taliesin. That night Julian served Mamah and her children dinner on the porch, the rest of the group ate in the dining room. While the group ate, Julian asked Weston for permission to use some gasoline to clean a rug; Weston agreed. Within minutes of this request, chaos broke out at the Taliesin.

    Julian took the gasoline, poured it all over the door to the dining room and set it on fire. The occupants of the room were then forced to escape through the window. Julian had a hatchet which he used to kill Mamah and her children before going to wait outside of the dining room window. Herb Fritz was the first through the window and he suffered only minor injuries before fleeing. William Weston came next and when he made it through Julian was waiting for him. He hacked Weston twice with the hatchet before leaving him for dead. Weston survived however, and ran for help. Emile Brodelle was murdered upon his exit through the window. Ernest Weston and David Lindblom both received serious injuries, but managed to escape with the help of their friends. Sadly, they both died later.

    There were only three survivors of the murders at Taliesin. William Weston and Herb Fritz both survived their injuries. Julian's wife Gertrude escaped the fire through the basement, though she later claimed to have no prior knowledge of Julian's intentions. Julian Carlton was found hours after the murders, he had swallowed acid and died a few weeks later. A motive for the murders at Taliesin has never been discerned.

  • Some Guy

    Also, his son John invented Lincoln Logs.

  • Bodhi

    I read Loving Frank a few years ago (its written from the perspective of Mamah Borthwick Cheney) & holy shit was I not prepared for the way it ended.

  • AvaLehra

    Mamah...I can't even think about that without getting a lump in throat. I work in Oak Park just down the street from his studio, and I always picture what Mamah's days around here must have been like.

  • PDamian

    Read T. Coraghessan Boyle's novel "The Women," about Frank's wives and his relationship with each. It's a real eye-opener, and a cracking good read.

  • AvaLehra

    Can you believe I've had it for over a year and still haven't read it? All right, that is the kick in the pants i needed.

  • BlackRabbit

    What with the serial killer fetish some folks have, no one's used the "Servant Girl Annihilator" yet? Especially with it's suggestion of having been the Ripper in America?

  • Danar the Barbarian

    So I just read all these creepy stories (it's now 4:30am, my family is all asleep still, and i'm up to go to a Crossfit class), and as I'm suitably freaked out, i go to close the page. I've had enough spooky stories! Then my mouse crosses over the header ad, and begins blasting a wind chime sound! I jumped and nearly peed myself. Dammit.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    THE PROPHECY HAS BE FULFILLED!!!

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Want some weird shit? Of course.

    Gealazzo Maria Sforza: Mid-to-late 15th century Duke of Milan

    -Delighted in devising and testing new ways to torture any man who offended him. A bit like Count Rugen.

    -Frequently raped the wives and mothers of the the Milanese nobility.

    -All but forced his mistresses to become prostitutes when he got tired of them. They would be passed around to his courtiers.

    -As punishment for men who were offending him, he would rip his enemies apart...literally...with his bare hands...somehow.

    -Starved a priest to death for predicting that Sforza's rule would no be a long one (he was right).

    -Killed a poacher by forcing him to swallow a live rabbit.

    -Killed a gypsy by slicing open the belly of a horse, stuffing the man inside and sewing the horse's belly back up with the person still inside of it.

    Why do I know this?

  • PDamian

    Why do you know all this? I'm getting worried ... ;-)

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I didn't invent the Brazen Bull, I just keep it hot.

  • emmalita

    I'm bringing this guy up the next time some idiot gets nostalgic for the romance of 15th century Italy.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I know that in 16th century Italy, Carlo Gesualdo murdered his wife and her lover when he (set up, then) caught them in delicto flagrante. Crime of passion, that counts!

  • Anon

    That's kind of like saying no one should get nostalgic for the "romance" of Victorian England because of London's mayor at the time. Most people were probably completely unaffected by the actions of the Duke of Milan.

  • emmalita

    I was referring to the overall social structure in which a few people could do whatever they wanted with little to no accountability. Most of them weren't as horrifically flagrant as Sforza, but casual cruelty was the norm.

  • Let me introduce you to the 1%.... Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

  • emmalita

    Sigh, yes.

  • AvaLehra

    Totally unrelated, but I am now in like Flynn!

  • emmalita

    I think I messaged you.

  • AvaLehra

    Heh! It appears you messaged someone but not me.

  • emmalita

    well now I'm just going to have to message everyone!!!!!

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    damn double post

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Here's another one:

    Galeazzo Maria Sforza:

    -A mid-to-late 15th century's answer to Caligula. Maybe they went to jazz college together, I don't know. Anyway, he was a Duke of Milan and I'll start slowly and go from 'jerk' to 'holy flurking schnitt!' Let's start small:

    -He was a womanizer who frequently passed his ladies to courtiers when he got tired of him.

    Had a live man nailed to his coffin

    -Starved a priest to death for predicting that Sforza's reign wouldn't last long (he turned out to be right).

    -Frequently raped the wives and daughters of the nobility

    -Delighted in devising methods of torture to be used on any man who offended him. A Proto-Count Rugen.

    -Would tear people apart, literally, with his bare hands.

    -Once made a poacher swallow a whole living rabbit. He didn't survive it

    -Killed a gypsy by slicing the belly of a horse, stuffing the body into the cavity and sewed the horse shut with the gypsy still in it.

    And was assassinated.

    -

  • rio

    Some of this sound pretty damn awesome....

    I'm gonna leave this here, also the destination of next halloween field trip

    It’s a murder mystery that has puzzled the Los Feliz neighborhood in Los Angeles since 1959. On the night of December 6, 1959, in a mansion that sits on a Los Feliz hilltop, Dr. Harold Perelson struck his wife to death with a hammer, severely beat his 18-year-old daughter, and then ended his own life by drinking a glass of acid. Police found Perelson lying dead on the floor next to his wife’s blood-soaked bed. He was still clutching the hammer. On a nightstand next to his bed, investigators found an open copy of Dante’s “Divine Comedy,” which was opened to Canto 1. “Midway upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightforward pathway had been lost … ,” read the passage.

    For the next fifty years, the mansion would remain completely untouched and uninhabited by anyone.

    A year after the gruesome murder-suicide, the mansion was sold to a couple, Emily and Julian Enriquez, who only used the 5,050-square-foot house as a storage site. Neighbors recall seeing the couple bringing boxes to the mansion, but never staying overnight. In 1994, Rudy Enriquez inherited the house and, like his parents, neither stayed nor made any changes to the Perelson’s old decor.

    Local neighbors and brave visitors of the Perelson mansion have shared their tales. Through grimy windows, one can see a 1950s-style television set, a Christmas tree, and neatly-wrapped gifts. The furniture is covered in a thick layer of dust and the living room remains the exact same as it was that one December night as shown in the pictures above.

    Rudy Enriquez, now a 77-year old retired music manager, has refused to sell the property. The exterior of the mansion is in slow decay, and the local neighbors have had to pitch in to help maintain the property.

    Though no one has been formally invited into the home, it is rumored that the mansion attracted trespassers for some time. Former neighbors have even witnessed people having picnics in the backyard. One trespasser alleges that the house is haunted and that she was bitten by a black widow spider upon trying to break in. An alarm system has been installed and, to this day, remains one of the only changes made to the Perelson’s old home.

    No one knows what exactly prompted Dr. Perelson to commit those atrocities fifty years ago. Some have speculated financial woes, while others have dug up old, unconfirmed rumors of Dr. Perelson having been secretly hospitalized. All three Perelson children survived the incident, though none have been mentioned in the media since.

    What remains an even larger mystery is why the current owner has left the scene of the crime almost exactly as it was in 1959.

  • tatertot

    It's the unexplained preservation of the house that creeps me out. Family annihilators are a dime a dozen, but why the hell would the new owner keep the decor of the house intact? Now I wonder what Rudy Enriquez has hidden in his basement.

  • rio

    exactly, I mean I have to say, the hammer and the acid are also pretty unique methods of family clean up but the house! There are plenty of picture online, the all freaking thing is hella creepy

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I know, acid? I thought Vachel Lindsay was nuts when he drank a bottle of Lysol to escape his creditors, but frigging acid? That's so unsettling.

  • nachosanchez

    Ever hear of the Somerton Man? Not quite horror, but crazy mystery nonetheless.

  • Fredo

    I was going to throw in the true story of Delphine LaLaurie, a New Orleans socialite who brutally murdered slaves, but Kathy Bates is playing her in AHS: Coven.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I was thinking about that too. Still creeps me out that the house is a popular tourist attraction.

  • Fredo

    People think of New Orleans and immediately go to voodoo and that's one of the few tangible landmarks of that idea.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Very true. I know that the story is full of exaggerations regarding LaLurie's practice of 'pigeon-ratting' her victims, do they play it up?

  • Billybob

    So, wait, you're suggesting these as Ryan Gosling vehicles?

  • Berry

    Ack, how I wish I hadn't read about the Grubers while all alone at work in a super old building. And the sun isn't even up yet and the building is rumored to be haunted. And it has both an attic that no-one's been to since like the WWII and some interesting vaulted cellars.

    Hold me.

  • Boo.

  • Berry

    That's kind of the opposite of what I asked. And you usually seem so cuddly too. I'm disappointed in you.

  • I could say 'It's to ensure that when you jump, it's into my arms' but that strikes me as too cheesy-romance novel-ish. I think an innuendo about working off the adrenaline rush is more my style.

  • Berry

    You, sir, are a cad. Rake, even.

  • katy

    You just made me get up and check that my front door was locked. It wasn't.

  • Misomaniac

    Shit. Back in a sec...

  • PDamian

    Dammit, now where am I supposed to sleep?

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Okay. This one HAS to be long because it's all about process and there are A LOT of steps in process and it's so, so strange. I hope not too many people know the story, but it comes to us via Plutarch so I'm definitely taking a chance.

    Artaxerxes II's execution of Mithradates: Persia, c. 430 BC:

    Being the oldest, Artaxerxes was the successor to his father's throne, but upon the death of the old king, younger brother Cyrus The Younger (the name delivers what it promises) contested the claim and civil war soon broke out. Not on the battlefield, but rather in the seizing of an opportunity and the one who dispatched the would-be usurper was one of Artaxerxes' soldiers, a man named Mithradates. He assassinated Cyrus by firing an arrow that entered one temple and exited the other while the targeted was just walking around.

    Artaxerxes was pleased and Mithradates saw his life get much better, something more terrifying was dormant in Artaxerxes-- a vain man prone to creating mythologies about himself. The official story was that the king was the one to kill his own brother and during battle, to boot. Mithradates wasn't a fool, so he kept his fool mouth shut. Mithradates wasn't really a drinker and he would reap the consequences of being a lightweight in time and at a banquet. At said banquet, Mitradates revealed to all of guests through his inebriated confidence. This was treason.

    The soldier was sentenced to death by scaphism. What can I say but that this may be one of the cruelest ways to die ever devised in human history. Quite a claim but I think you'll agree. Stripped naked, the victim would lay in one boat chained to another boat put on top, forming a kind of cocoon altered in a manner to allow the head, hands and feet to be exposed. This is why it was also known as 'the boats'. The victim is force fed milk and honey (honey's so gross) and if he resists his eyes are pricked, so he submits to the feeding. He is fed so much that he begins to experience violent bowel movements and he is left to wallow in his own excrement...for a while. Why boats? Water. Stinking stagnant water. This is where the victim is destined to float after having had more honey smeared all over his head and feet. You see where this is going? Will the sugar attract more or will the excrement attract more? And so he floats, being bitten and stung by whatever comes. Phase one.

    It's time to force feed and smear the victim again. Why? The answer is three-fold: 1: to prolong misery by not letting him simply pass away from dehydration or starvation...for a while. 2: To make the victim experience the pain of force feeding and to induce more violent bowel movements while all is still trapped in the boats because this was an execution method that was meant to humiliate as well as torture. 3: to attract that many more stings and bites. Phase two.

    When this has been going for long enough, bugs will find a home in the victim. As he's being stung and bitten, insects lay and hatch eggs and eat the victim's flesh right through, severing blood vessels festering and making enough holes in the skin for the excrement to bathe the open wounds. Phase three.

    And this is how it goes. After a few days the victim will experience delirium but would be roused out of it whenever it was time to force feed again, which usually happened twice a day. Death comes when the victim is taken by dehydration, starvation, exposure and/or sepsis and likely a combination of those states.

    How long did Mithradates have to endure the full horrors of this beyond cruel and usual punishment (and what psycho invented it)? Seventeen days.

  • Tinkerville

    I don't know what's more disturbing-- the fact that someone could come up with this, or the fact that I find it fascinating.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    But it IS fascinating!

    I am asked at least once a day, 'Why do you know this?'
    'Do you not?' I have to respond.

  • PDamian

    I almost majored in Classics. Almost. You make me very glad I chose PoliSci instead.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Can you believe that someone used his creativity to create this? Horrible. What kind of mind?

  • kushiro -

    I think the German looking on the internet for someone to eat was also an episode of The IT Crowd.

  • emmalita

    It was. One of my favorite episodes too.

  • kushiro -

    I recently watched the whole series and I laughed like a crazy person throughout. And to think I was on the fence about watching it. Richard Ayoade can do no wrong.

  • emmalita

    If you haven't already, go to YouTube and look for Ayoade hosting Nevermind the Buzzcocks and Richard and Noel Fielding Your Mom. The first is about a half hour episode, the second is just over a minute long.

  • kushiro -

    Will do. Thanks for the recommendation. If you never hear from me again, it will be because I have wandered into the massive world of British comedic panel programs and will probably never find my way back again.

  • koko temur

    Here you go, your mom clip. Hope you ready for the awesomness of richmond and moss doing double timing bullying.
    http://m.youtube.com/results?q...

    If you need more, never mind the buzzcocks seasons 23 and 24 are the weirdest, meanest show you will ever see. And it has richmond in every episode. #noseriouslywasityourmom?

  • emmalita

    That is what I've been doing for most of the past 3 weeks. :)

  • koko temur

    Lie! It has been almost 3 months now!;)
    #iheardyourmomkilledhimduringsex

  • emmalita

    Time moves at different speeds in the rabbit hole. :)

  • John W

    The Armin Meiwes story has already been made into a movie.

    Twice.

    Butterfly: A Grimm Love Story and Cannibal.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    The first one even stars Keri Russell.

  • I think they already made a movie about Armin Meiwes. It was banned in Germany, if memory serves.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Yeah, Meiwes sued because he claimed the movie violated his rights as a person. The ban was later lifted by the highest civil court.

  • e jerry powell

    Well, there's certainly plenty of stories on the Informative Murder Porn channels that are similar enough to quite a few of these stories, so thousands of opportunities to flood the market.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I think Juana la Loca got there first. She was all over her husband Philip the Fair's corpse like a live woman on a corpse.

  • Tinksy

    Joan the Crazy - well named.

  • PDamian

    I'll just leave this here:

    "There were people who called themselves Satanists who made Crowley squirm. It wasn't just the things they did, it was the way they blamed it all on Hell. They'd come up with some stomach-churning idea that no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and mindless unpleasantness that only a fully functioning human brain could conceive, then shout "The Devil Made Me Do It" and get the sympathy of the court when the whole point was that the Devil hardly ever many anyone do anything. He didn't have to. That was what some humans found hard to understand ... Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind." -- Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens.

  • Tinkerville

    I'm rereading this book right now for the upteenth time. So mind-bendingly brilliant.

  • Anon

    And that book was a comedy.
    (To those unfamiliar with Good Omens, it actually is really funny and well-written.)

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Gilles de Rais, when did you get here?

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