web
counter
 

Ron Weasley Almost Died, And Five Movie Sidekicks Who Should Still Be Alive

By Rob Payne | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (21)



pajibadeadsidekicksron.jpg

Once upon a time, J.K. Rowling, authoress of the best selling, block busting Harry Potter franchise, gave serious thought to offing her protagonist’s best ginger-headed friend, Ron Weasely. When I was reading the books dependent on their publishing dates, waiting with bated breath for the next novel to plop on to store shelves, I always half-expected Rowling to mess with convention and kill off one of Harry’s two best childhood friends. I presupposed that Hermione was too important to the series to murder all willy-nilly, as without her gifts Harry himself is rather worthless, so it stood to reason that Ron’s death would make both logical and narrative sense. Spoiler alert! It didn’t happen, which is as good a gift as any to the Boy Who Lived, and Then Saved All Of Wizardingkind.

Unfortunately, the characters listed below circumvented tradition too much, and thusly found themselves on the wrong end of character assassination. Of course, because none of the below cinematic deaths were wanted, or warranted, the filmmakers ensured their demise would be that much more memorable and affecting to the warmhearted viewers amongst us. Still, it wouldn’t have been unwelcome if these Five Movie Sidekicks Had Survived to escape the Dead Sidekick trope. After all, a few of these were much more useful, and much less ridden with angst, than Ron.

Beware all, you who entres-vous. Possible spoilers abound.

Mr. Spock (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, RIP 1982):
pajibadeadsidekicksspock.jpg


Goose (Top Gun, RIP 1986):
pajibadeadsidekicksgoose.jpg


Donny (The Big Lebowski, RIP 1998):
pajibadeadsidekicksdonny.jpg


Ed (Shaun of the Dead, RIP 2004):
pajibadeadsidekicksed.jpg


Boltie (Super, RIP 2010):
pajibadeadsidekicksboltie.jpg


Honorable Mention
Jonathan Brandis
(RIP, 2003):
pajibadeadsidekicksbrandis.jpg


Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force and tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar. He thinks it’s too bad Chris O’Donnell’s Robin never died in the Joel Shumacher Batman movies, he’d have loved to have put him on this list.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance



Kim Kardashian and the Other Hollywood Marriages That Hock Peanut Butter Loogies on the Idea of Your "Sacred Institution" | 5 Shows After Dark 11/1/11









Comments

Shut the fuck up Donny.

Posted by: MRod at November 1, 2011 3:16 PM

If we were pre-Star Trek III-release, then Spock would be the undisputed king of this list, but given what happened in the subsequent films, he deserves a big asterisk, no matter how powerful that loss was.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 1, 2011 3:29 PM

Boltie was a freaking lunatic. She was way too reckless to survive. At least she had an awesome death scene.

Posted by: TylerDFC at November 1, 2011 4:13 PM

What, Wash gets no love? Dude saves everybody in a masterful zero-powered landing, then gets skewered by a Reaver-whatever in a moment that tricked us into thinking it was tension-relieving humor before delivering the sudden and merciless murder of an audience favorite.

I think his exclusion calls this entire list into question.

Posted by: Stefannie at November 1, 2011 4:21 PM

Alright, now I can't remember where the Jonathan Brandis reference happened last week. It's Always Sunny? Psych? The League?

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at November 1, 2011 4:38 PM

@Stefannie: And I think relegating Wash to "sidekick" status calls your calling this list into question into question.

@Darth: Well, I'm still mourning Spock's death at the end Star Trek II. Without it, we would have been spared Search for Spock and Final Frontier; we'd also lose Voyage Home in that scenario, but I'll take leaping from Khan to Undiscovered Country over the alternative. Which is reality. Hence, Spock should've lived.

Posted by: RobP at November 1, 2011 4:45 PM

Have to agree with Stefannie here. Wash's death was a low blow to the hard-core fans of Firefly, who were realizing that there were only 20 more minutes of Cap. Mal and the gang left forever. It...was...just...too...hard...

Posted by: EJ at November 1, 2011 4:53 PM

Two words. Angelo Pappas.

Posted by: max at November 1, 2011 5:15 PM

Oh, so Ellen Page dies in Super? I'm sure that's not TOO integral to the plot. right??

Posted by: John G. at November 1, 2011 5:40 PM

Poor Donny, he was just out of his element.

Posted by: John W at November 1, 2011 5:57 PM

I had an aviation-enthusiast buddy once who was always livid about Goose's death simply because it (according to him) was bullshit; those planes are deliberately designed so that cannot happen.

Posted by: Todd at November 1, 2011 6:27 PM

no mention of chewbacca's death in star wars?

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at November 1, 2011 7:25 PM

Wash can't be on this list because he didn't die.

There's gonna be a mini-series. I have no insider information. I'm prophesying.

The players plus Numfar now have enough pull to pry loose both IP rights and dispensation to film from the holders of their various indentures. What is Castle without Fillion? Who's gonna say "No" to the guy who helmed Avengers? Imagine the fate of the studio or show that refuses to let one of the cast do it?

/Spoilers

/Spoilers

/S P O I L E R S - OK?

In the upcoming Bellweather Pictures Firefly mini-series, Recovering Serenity - Houston, We Have a Problem. (I'm thinking one episode for each of the 12 steps, spread over two years' hiatus.) Wash doesn't stay dead. He is reanimated and becomes a dick. Book, in fact, was working for The Alliance all anong, and never died.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at November 1, 2011 7:36 PM

I never thought of Spock as a sidekick. Gabby Hayes was a sidekick.

His death was pretty awesome though. My friends and I still quote that whole death scene.

Yeah we got wives why do you ask?

Posted by: logan at November 1, 2011 7:53 PM

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First!

Posted by: googergieger at November 1, 2011 7:59 PM

I opened up this list knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that there would be Wash-love. My instincts about these Pajiba lists are never wrong!
I...I just have something in my eye.

Posted by: A-schaef at November 1, 2011 9:26 PM

aha!
http://www.cracked.com/video_18195_how-breakfast-cereal-mascots-brainwashed-you.html

At the very end. While the video was produced a while ago, I didn't watch it until Saturday.

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at November 2, 2011 2:17 AM

Aaaand I'm still thinking about Artax.

*sinks into the swamp*

Posted by: embertine at November 2, 2011 5:38 AM

Hooch! I always cry when the dog gets it.

Posted by: Kirbyjay at November 2, 2011 2:19 PM

Boo on the Boltie spoiler. :-(

Posted by: Carrie at November 2, 2011 8:12 PM

@Utah Dynamo:

Chewy didn't die in the movies, but in a novel. These are considered non-canon, so it technically didn't happen.

Posted by: FabMax at November 3, 2011 10:54 AM