Recognizing the New Generation of Action Heroes

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (75)

If you’re over the age 30, everyone under 30 probably look the same to you now. It’s hard to tell the new generation of action stars apart. How many people saw Cloverfield and kept thinking, “Didn’t that guy die already?” only to realize it was a completely different person. Back in the day, it was easy. There was Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Sylvester Stallone. Now, they all look like Paul Walker, which is a goddamn shame because I only just got to the point where I could tell Paul Walker and Lucas Black apart. You know how bad it is when Charming Potato is suddenly the most distinct looking guy among the new generation.

I see a lot of movies and read a lot of trade news, and it’s sometimes difficult for even me to know who is who. For those of you who are more casual moviegoers, I can only imagine. They all seems to have close-cropped dirty blond hair and a little bit of stubble. It’s like walking into the GAP in 2002.

2011 is going to be a big year for this new generation of action stars, so I wanted to take a moment to help familiarize you with them. You will be tested.

Liam Hemsworth (The Last Song, Arabian Nights One-Time Miley Cyrus Boyfriend)

Chris Hemsworth (Red Dawn, Thor, Star Trek)

Chris Pine (Star Trek, Unstoppable the new Jack Ryan Movies)

Garret Hedlund (TRON: Legacy, Country Strong)

Sam Worthington (Clash of the Titans, Avatar, Commando)

Chris Evans (Fantastic Four, First Avenger: Captain America)

Andrew Garfield (The Social Network, Spider-Man Reboot)

Alex Pettyfer (Alex Rider: Stormbreaker, Beastly, I Am Number Four)

Jason Mamoa (Conan the Barbarian, “Game of Thrones”)

Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Giant Breasts Do Not An Actress Make | An Argument Against Guest Stars | Living in a Gangsta's Paradise | The Weekend Box-Office Round-Up →

Comments

Can Chris Evans test me?
Please?
Please?
Please?

Posted by: Chickaboom at January 11, 2011 11:34 AM

In Chicago, I'm involved in the comedy/improv community. I frequently get stopped by people who ask if they know me or if they had seen me perform somewhere before. I tell them that I just look like the other five skinny white guys who perform all of the improv in the city.
They laugh, and then I tell them that it's the truth. All the improv and sketch is performed by just five skinny white guys who have different wigs and costumes, and if any of them were ever unmasked the whole "pay to be onstage" system that the theaters were based on would come crumbling down and we would have a new---
And then they walk away, and I can successfully get on with my life.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at January 11, 2011 12:35 PM

Yes, Dustin, at the ripe old age of 47 everyone 30 and under definitely looks the same to me.

Now get off my lawn.

Posted by: Jadine at January 11, 2011 12:37 PM

I'm 30. When the fuck did I become old?

Posted by: bignick at January 11, 2011 12:39 PM

Alex Pettyfer is a tipped glass of red wine and a broken strand of pearls away from a 1980s music video in that photo.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 11, 2011 12:40 PM

Dustin - this guide would be more helpful if I could actually tell them apart. Even all lined up, they pretty much all look the same to me.

Posted by: tamatha at January 11, 2011 12:42 PM

As an over 30, I could only indentify 2 of these guys on sight and maybe could have gotten a third with name prompts. Are we sure they are real? Chris Evans is best known to me as the poor guy whose chest hair they defiled in the name of commerce and I STILL had to double-check his name before typing it.

Sam Worthington is only slightly more interesting than the Potato that Charms. Didn't Dustin call him The Vessel? I think that gives him too much credit. How about Gentle Parsnip? He is a cypher even when he is the only one in the photo.

Jason Momoa looks like a botoxed caveman. Will Conan be summoning the power of headbutts to defeat those who would oppose him?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 11, 2011 12:48 PM

Yep, the line-up just confirmed they all look the same.

I thought is was just me.

Posted by: Kargoyle at January 11, 2011 12:48 PM

Wow, it's freaky how much they look alike...except for my baby Andrew Garfield, he was the star of Boy A *sigh* and he's all sort of adorable! Now that I've defended my lovely boy, I am leaving - I fear "being generic" might be contagious.

Posted by: Mona at January 11, 2011 12:50 PM

You sure you've figured out who Shane Black is? Cause he's kinda very different from Paul Walker.

Lucas! Damnit, I meant Lucas. Noted, corrected. Thanks.-- DR

Posted by: valerie at January 11, 2011 12:53 PM

One of these things is not like the others....

Posted by: nat at January 11, 2011 12:53 PM

Wow, Chris Evans and Chris Pine was always a problem for me and NOW you through in Chris Hemsworth? I know there's more faces out there! Macavoy's made an action flick in Wanted. It's hard enough for me to pay attention without at least picking an interesting lead. I'm not confusing Matt Damon with ANYBODY.

Posted by: valerie at January 11, 2011 12:57 PM

Why do at least four of them look like they just graduated from Brigham Young and are about to head off on a mission? Is Mormon Chic a new thing?

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 11, 2011 12:57 PM

Jadine, I just joined you at 47.

All these damn kids.....

Turn your crap down! I can't hear NCIS!

Posted by: dammitjanet at January 11, 2011 12:58 PM

If they are Mormons, their magic underwear is going to cause unsightly panty-lines under their superhero tights, but they will protect them from their foes. It's a pickle.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 11, 2011 1:03 PM

Who thought piercing blue eyes and abs of steel were so easy to come by?

Posted by: daria at January 11, 2011 1:04 PM

The first eight pictures look like someone took a single root photo and used Photoshop to just tweak it into several different variations of the same theme.

The I'm-A-Misunderstood-Slightly-Rugged-Bad-Boy-Who-Secretly-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold-Which-You-Would-Realize-If-You-Just-Have-It-In-You-Girl-To-See-Past-My-Smoldering-Eyes-and-Day-Old-Beard...(it helps if you sing that like a Boyz II Men song)

Then, BOOM goes the dynamite!

Jason Momoa shows up and eye-fucks the shit outta the camera. That look single handedly brought fictional barbarian wenches straight out of the Hyborian Age into our very real world. Look for them at a bar near you. They'll be the ones asking for mead while wearing animal pelts.

Jason Momoa: Using raw sex appeal to manifest fictional wenches into our reality since 2011

Posted by: Vonnegut Slut at January 11, 2011 1:05 PM

I love it when they make them grow out their hair so they can leave it unwashed for three weeks so the guy can look ragged and tough and dangerous. Matches all those plucked eyebrows, waxed limbs, oiled skin, fake tan and pouty lips.

I also bet he's wearing a thong in this picture.
Probably the reason he has that look on his face.

Oh, Conan, ravage me! You... you... manly beast!

Posted by: ada at January 11, 2011 1:15 PM

Sam Worthington! Allah alone knows how this guy keeps getting work. Is it his bland looks? His wooden acting? His average physique? His complete lack of personality? Is it the board shoved up his ass?

Not only does he get work HE GETS BIG BLOCKBUSTER MOVIES! LIKE AVATAR, TERMINATOR AND CLASH OF THE TITANS! MOVIES THAT I WOULD PROBABLY LIKE IF HIS WORTHLESS ASS WASN'T STARRING IN THEM! CANT WE SEND HIS DUMBASS BACK TO AUSTRALIA? OR BETTER YET DRAG HIM BEHIND A SLOW BOAT TO AUSTRALIA SO SHARKS CAN BE SURE TO EAT HIM?

Sorry I get carried away sometimes...

Posted by: logan at January 11, 2011 1:16 PM

@ada: You nailed it. I wonder if Conan takes his personal waxer with him as he fights and shags his away across the countryside...

Posted by: Vonnegut Slut at January 11, 2011 1:21 PM

I don't think Andrew Garfield looks like any of them. He has dark eyes and dark hair. I'm not ashamed to know that, not at all.

The Pettyfer (fur?) guy has very pretty eyes, but looks like he just hit puberty.
Oh, and I'm 25 and can't tell half of them apart, so it's not an age thing. I think if you are over 14 and no longer subscribe to Tiger Beat, you probably don't know that Chris Pine is the one who loves kittens whereas Chris Evans likes long walks on the beach.

Posted by: ninetwenteetoo at January 11, 2011 1:22 PM

I watched The Last Song (I know, I know... I'm from Savannah), and I have to say that I left the theater with a little bit more respect for Miley. And no, not because of her acting, but because Liam Hemsworth is RIDICULOUSLY HOT. I'm sure he was just banging her for the fame, but damn. She bagged that. Props, Miley.

Also, Andrew Garfield's looks are significantly improved with the buzzed hair. The bouffant is ill-advised.

Posted by: elizabeth at January 11, 2011 1:25 PM

Yeah, who's scoffined at my invention of the spray-on beard NOW?!

Behold the broad but still yet homogeneous appeal of Stub N' Go (patent pending)!

Posted by: branded at January 11, 2011 1:29 PM

Paging Karl Urban....

Posted by: max at January 11, 2011 1:50 PM

To be honest, if something was coming at me the only person I would be running to stand behind is Jason Mamoa. Personally when it comes to action, unless you're a bad ass ninja I miss the muscle. I would nominate the following in hopes that Hollywood starts casting men who have broader shoulders then I do like:

Jason Mamoa
Idris Elba
Jared Padaleki
Taylor Kitsch

Posted by: brdkelli at January 11, 2011 2:02 PM

Jason Momoa doesn't look like all the others! But then, as a fan of mediocre Sci Fi, I will always have a soft spot for him. And I second Mona's comment about Andrew Garfield, he was awesome in "Boy A"!

Posted by: peachfish at January 11, 2011 2:25 PM

Why do they all look like such sissies? Damn I miss bruce and arnold.

Posted by: camytaru at January 11, 2011 2:27 PM

The only one of these men I recognize is Andrew Garfield, and only because he looks like David Tennant when he's wearing the Flock of Seagulls hairdo.

And who the hell is Charming Potato? You use that pseudonym all the time, and I have no idea who you are refering to.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 11, 2011 2:37 PM

Jason Momoa...rawr

the rest all seem the same and are...sigh...boring.
But, thank you because I saw a trailer on TV the other day and I turned to my husband and said "huh? Who are those guys? Never heard of them."

Posted by: Jules at January 11, 2011 2:38 PM

Also, I thought I could recognize Chris Pine from his eyebrows, but apparently I'm wrong.

Big Nick: You're 30, hum? Old hum? Wait until you're 60. You'll still think you're 30, until you look in a mirror. It's weird. It sucks.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 11, 2011 2:42 PM

Hooray, Jason Momoa! He should have kept the beard, though.

Posted by: Poptart at January 11, 2011 3:12 PM

The reason I don't recognize about half those people is not because I'm old, but because I haven't seen most of the crap they've starred in. I know Star Trek guy and Avatar guy (who was also in the last - terrible - Terminator movie). The Chris Evans dude was in that movie "Cellular." I don't give a shit about the rest of them.

Posted by: Slash at January 11, 2011 3:30 PM

I like to think of myself (stop right there) as a connoisseur of foxy men *cough*shallowslut*. But all these guys look the same to me and I AM UNMOVED.

And I am reasonably certain that one of those fellows is actually a chick.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 11, 2011 3:33 PM

Jason Momoa! I have to shamefacedly admit that I recently discovered Stargate Atlantis reruns and his amazing muscles. He looks better with the beard although absence of facial hair is not a dealbreaker.

Posted by: miri at January 11, 2011 3:44 PM

BWeaves:

It's Channing Tatum.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 11, 2011 4:07 PM

And now that you know that BWeaves, have you ever heard a more apt nickname in your entire life?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 11, 2011 4:27 PM

This is why when I date white boys, they're usually foreign. All you American white boys look alike, I swear.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at January 11, 2011 4:43 PM

"How many people saw Cloverfield and kept thinking, “Didn’t that guy die already?” only to realize it was a completely different person."

Add one to the count for that right here.

Posted by: JohnnyBee at January 11, 2011 4:50 PM

I would say that on this list only that Conan guy and the other Thor guy have the physique of being action stars (oh btw what happened to "The Rock"?). Would have to say that all the other guys look like typical male models, and although I liked the recent Start Trek reboot and that Capt. Kirk guy was good in it, he does not = action star.....In all honesty though I never considered Shatner to be an action star either.

Posted by: jaromir at January 11, 2011 4:51 PM

Garret Hedlund's pretty, pretty eyes almost makes me ignore his unfortunate hairstyling choices.

Almost.

Posted by: linny at January 11, 2011 5:01 PM

Thanks, and WHO?

BWeaves:

It's Channing Tatum.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 11, 2011 4:07 PM

WHO?

And now that you know that BWeaves, have you ever heard a more apt nickname in your entire life?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 11, 2011 4:27 PM

I have no idea if it's an apt nickname as I have no idea who this even is. Isn't Channing a girl's name?

I think it would help me if all these guys weren't named Chris. Isn't Chris a girl's name?
It's like the Tiffany of the boyman world.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 11, 2011 5:04 PM

are any of those the little cutie from 'easy a'?

Posted by: maxpurr9 at January 11, 2011 5:28 PM

@BWeaves You might recognize Charming Potato from such gems as Step Up, Step Up 2: The Streets, and Dear John. Still no idea? Consider yourself lucky.

And though Andrew Garfield is attractive, he is no David Tennant, sir.

Posted by: laylaness at January 11, 2011 6:14 PM

Stub N'Go sounds more like a drive-through gas station glory hole than a spray on fake beard....
or maybe there is just something seriously wrong with me.

Posted by: the bees knees at January 11, 2011 6:22 PM

Dammit. I was going down the list, going "OK, OK...Chris Pine was New Kirk, OK..." and I got to the last guy and there was no name under his picture, and I realized that THE NAMES ARE ABOVE THE PICTURES. So then I just gave up. I'll check the list in five years or so and see how many of these guys have even Kevin Sorbo's staying power.

And how could you skip Ryan Reynolds? - the one with the beard and moustache and amazing physique from "Blade: Trinity", not the skinny, average-looking guy by the same name who was in that movie with Betty White and Sandra Bullock.

Posted by: Harold at January 11, 2011 6:46 PM

And how could you skip Ryan Reynolds?

Harold, Rowles and RyRey went through a big breakup a few weeks ago. I think Rowles is finally starting to move on. He's show interest in a new Ryan, Ryan Gosling aka "Baby Goose," and frankly, I think it's damn time. But you know kids... you gotta let 'em go at their own pace. *sigh* They just grow up so fast, you know?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 11, 2011 7:14 PM

Maybe I just have a thing for blondies, but hot damn is Chris Hemsworth a fine specimen. Rawr...

Posted by: Even Stevens at January 11, 2011 9:38 PM

Will this be a multiple choice or free response test?

Posted by: noonoo at January 11, 2011 9:41 PM

So we have Hemsworth and Evans potentially in a movie together. What about Cam Gigandet? He is also blonde,blue eyed and wiry. And Jason Momoa seems like a really funny guy, so he can swing axes and stuff shirtless all day long. I just see these guys needing to be able to pick up whatever role comes their way. Action, Drama, Comedy...
oh please no

Posted by: DeckOfficer!! at January 11, 2011 9:47 PM

Alex Pettyfer

After glancing at the pic, my brain read that as "Alex Prettyface". It made sense.

Posted by: Lauren at January 11, 2011 10:00 PM

Could everyone just take a step &$#*@ back for a second?! Your smoldering intense eyebrowness is lighting my couch on fire.

I can't find my (prescription) sunglasses and it's like the goddamn rapture in here.

Posted by: Rebeccass at January 11, 2011 10:39 PM

None of these people will be deemed action heroes in 5 years.

Save MAYBE Chris Pine. If he goes down that road. MAYBE.

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at January 11, 2011 10:46 PM

I think Andrew Garfield is adorable. The last guy on the list is not the type I go for at all, and the rest all look exactly the same.

Posted by: DominaNefret at January 11, 2011 11:05 PM

Who cares what their names are? What, are you planning to send them a letter? Pretty, pretty, men. That is all we need to know.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 11, 2011 11:13 PM

Why are they all so damn squinty? I'm also seeing a lot of eyebrow acting here.

Posted by: sheshakes at January 12, 2011 12:06 AM

I have only seen two of these people act: Jason Mamoa (Stargate Atlantis) and Andrew Garfield (Red Riding). Jason wasn't terrible, and Andrew was great but not great enough to make me watch another Spiderman movie. I may have seen five minutes of one of the Fantastic Four movies, but you can't prove it.

And while I have advanced as far as knowing that Charming Potato is Channing Tatum, that little factoid means nothing to me. Is he one of the guys on this list?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at January 12, 2011 12:20 AM

Isn't Garret Hedlund one of the love interests in Country Strong (I base this on a half-remembered sort-of reading of a review, which is as close as I intend to get to that movie)? In which case, is it actually a movie about paedofilia? Cuz he looks about 12 and I know that Gwynnie is 40ish...
But yeah... all these guys look the same to me except for my beloved Ronan.

Posted by: EllaBleu at January 12, 2011 12:35 AM

Yeah, I'm hella fucking confused. (Do the kids today still say hella?)

Alex Pettyfer is a tipped glass of red wine and a broken strand of pearls away from a 1980s music video in that photo.

Mrs. Julien, you really are my favorite. I mean, that photo!! He's actually (out)matching Zac Efron in girliness.

Also, Jason Momoa does not look like the others, and I have seen photos where he looks far more attractive than the photo above.

Also also, "Andrew Garfield" is a pretty much unknown name (and absolutely unknown face) to me, except that I am aware he was in The Social Network because I read Pajiba. However: the name Andrew Garfield makes me think he should be black. Therefore, I will always have a mental disconnect when hearing of him.

As for the others, well, they're all just stubble and blue eyes and abs, and, you know, a crushing sense of sameness. Are the Hemsworths related?

Posted by: MM at January 12, 2011 12:59 AM

In order:

1. Chris Pine
2. Chris Evans
3. Chris Hemsworth
4. Jason Momoa
5. Sam Worthington
6. Liam Hemsworth
7. Garret Hedlund
8. Andrew Garfield
9. Alex Prettyfer

Wait, that's not how this list was supposed to work? …whoops.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 12, 2011 1:01 AM

Screw replying to any of the comments above. I just needed to remark on my astonishment of how my clothes immediately fell off upon viewing Jason Mamoa's picture.

Posted by: duckandcover at January 12, 2011 3:05 AM

Also, here's something more contemporary for you in the quest to figure out who Channing Tatum/Charming Potato is, BWeaves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_cYUGpAoJw

He has the looks of this generation of action stars and the enunciation skills of Sly Stallone. It's like a cloning project gone horribly wrong. I can't stand him, because it looks like his eyes always want to play together. :/

Posted by: duckandcover at January 12, 2011 3:14 AM

Well, I'm 20 years old and they all look alike to me too. Maybe it's because Dutch tv really loves old(er) action movies, but growing up I only saw action movies with Schwarzenegger et al.

Posted by: Matthijs at January 12, 2011 3:52 AM

A very prodigious petri dish definitely comes to mind.

And who the fuck is that Pettyfer dude? That's the worst face I've ever seen. I watched Fight Club at the cinema the other day so the only thing I can think of now is Ed Norton savagely wailing on Jared Leto's pretty face. Mentally substitute this smug cockslap, and I'm happy.

Posted by: zeke the pig at January 12, 2011 4:44 AM

my clothes immediately fell off upon viewing Jason Mamoa's picture.

Posted by: duckandcover at January 12, 2011 3:05 AM

That happens all the time when women first see me as well. It's damn embarassing for me.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 12, 2011 6:03 AM

............thankyou........ . . .

Posted by: Sarah J-Town at January 12, 2011 7:20 AM

Jason Momoa is nothing like these other guys. He's way hotter and not even white, and why do they always show one of the least attractive pictures of him. He's walking, talking sex, and undies all over the world automatically drop to the floor with just the utterance of his name.

Posted by: Belle at January 12, 2011 9:39 AM

Let's see... white guy, white guy, white guy, wh- Jason Momoa?! Awesome!

How does Garrett Hedlund get work again?

Posted by: seed at January 12, 2011 9:49 AM

I can't stand him, because it looks like his eyes always want to play together. :/

Posted by: duckandcover at January 12, 2011 3:14 AM

I damn near laughed out of my chair at this...

Posted by: Trouble at January 12, 2011 9:53 AM

They all look like Mark Hamill to me. Except Momoa.
No wonder I have an aversion to most blonds.

Posted by: Uda at January 12, 2011 10:25 AM

Valerie,
you've never confused Matt Damon with Hillary Swank? Really?

Posted by: schmerpes at January 12, 2011 10:43 AM

I have to second Jason Momoa keeping the facial hair. I think he's kind of too pretty without it. I normally HATE facial hair, but it's just the right look for him. Big, muscley, and hairy. Mmmmhmmm.

Posted by: peachfish at January 12, 2011 12:36 PM

Vonnegut Slut, I have nothing more to add. You pretty much expressed all my feelings about this list right there, and you managed to incorporate Boyz II Men and fictional wenches into the mix. Bravo!

Posted by: UMG at January 12, 2011 6:15 PM

With the exception of Momoa, Garfield and that blonde lady, these a very boring collection of mens.

Posted by: jzhz at January 12, 2011 10:06 PM

oof. "this is a very boring collection of mens."

Posted by: jzhz at January 12, 2011 10:07 PM

Alex Pettyfer

After glancing at the pic, my brain read that as "Alex Prettyface". It made sense.

You are amazing.

And sadly...I knew who all of them were except for the dude for the disgusting Miley Cyrus movie. THAT is where I draw the line.

Posted by: KC at January 23, 2011 1:51 PM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

Recognizing the New Generation of Action Heroes

Comments