Ranking The 30 Most Pressing Television Questions We Have About the Rest of 2013

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | August 26, 2013 | Comments ()


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30. Will Dexter Die on the Finale of “Dexter”?

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29. What will the the Network’s First Fall Cancellation?

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28. Will “Community” Return This Year or in 2014?

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27. How Will Kenny Powers Rise from the Ashes in “Eastbound and Down’s” Final Season?

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26. Will Rebel Wilson’s “Super Fun Night” Make Rebel Wilson the Huge Star She’s Meant to Be, or Will it Fail Spectacualrly?

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25. Will “Blacklist” Be as Good as the Pilot Looks?

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24. What Are They Going to Do with That Glass Dildo on “Masters of Sex”?

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23. How Will Sherlock Cope in a Post-Moriarity “Elementary”?

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22. How Hilariously Awful Will Peyton and Eli Manning’s DirectTV Spots Be?

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21. Will “Modern Family” Have a Gay Wedding This Year?

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20. Will We Ever Get Tired of Chris Messina’s Teddy-Bear Saltiness on “The Mindy Project”?

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19. How Are Charlie Day’s Eating Habits this Year on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”?

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18. How Will Donal Logue’s Character “Use” Clay Morrow in “Sons of Anarchy”?

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17. Will It Be the Longest Weekend in Television History on “How I Met Your Mother”?

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16. How Will Michael J. Fox Do In His Return to Sitcom Television on “The Michael J. Fox Show”?

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15. How Will the New Kids Fare on “Saturday Night Live”?

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14. What the Hell is Up with Olivia Pope’s Dad on “Scandal”?

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13. Will There Be Raffi Bombs on “The League”?

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12. What Will the Sandwiches of the Day Be On “Bob’s Burgers”?

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11. Will “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” Be “Buffy” Good or “Dollhouse” Good?

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10. How Will the Latest “Friday Night Lights” Alum Do in the Cast of “Parenthood”?

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9. How Will Alicia and Cary’s New Firm Fare on “The Good Wife”?

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8. Who Is the Killer On the Sleepy but Captivating “Broadchurch”?

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7. Will Luther Have Sex with Alice on “Luther”?

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6. How Many Times Will We See Carrie Mathison’s Cry Face on “Homeland”?

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5. Will Nick Miller Settle His Ongoing Feud with Doors on “The New Girl”?

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4. Will Daryl Dixon’s Fathering Skills Get a Chance to Blossom on “The Walking Dead”?

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3. How Many Scenes Will Jeffrey Wright downright OWN in “Boardwalk Empire”?

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2. Who Will Be Tom Haverford’s Bizarro Equivalent on “Parks and Recreation”?

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1. How Will the Ricin Be Used on “Breaking Bad”?

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • JohnnyHotsauce

    Tom's Bizarro has GOT to be Kanye. I'll settle for nothing less!

  • e jerry powell

    #24: If you have to ask, then clearly you need to be watching.
    #6: All of them.
    #3: All of them.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    You guys, just fair warning-- I am already absolutely smitten with Noel Wells, and will brook no dissent on her performance on SNL, okay? I don't need you people praising her or anything, but maybe just consider maintaining a charitable silence if it doesn't go well. Except, of course, it'll totally go well because have you seen her? Hilaradorable.

  • googergieger

    Walt is going to use the ricin on himself while taking someone else with him. Either Jesse, Hank, or both. He might fail and just off himself though.

  • Jim

    Wait, hasn't Broadchurch finished in the US too?

  • jollies

    They need to throw the glass dildo into the snow at the North Pole and it will "erect" the Fortess of Solitude.

  • jollies

    "Fortress" of Solitude. We need an edit button. (Or at least a typo button.)

  • Uriah_Creep

    I'm not necessarily recommending it, but if you register for a Disqus account, you can edit your posts.

  • jollies

    Do they ask for your soul? I may give it a try, if I can figure it out. I am computer retarded and slightly paranoid. I remember when the government "seized" pajiba, which made all sorts of sense...

  • jollies

    No soul, just email. okay...

  • Uriah_Creep

    See, you figured it out. Welcome to the club of lost souls...

  • Berry

    We have cookies!

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I just realized Donal Logue is on THREE shows. SOA, Vikings and Copper. And he's using the same accent in Vikings and Copper which kind of pleases me.

  • Milly

    I don't understand how Rebel Wilson is supposed to be a star. She's got a schtick that won't last and doesn't seem to be engaging or warm, but is just loud and attention seeking.

    That suits a part in an ensemble but as the focal point? Christ, may as well call her Jacqueline Black and have done with it.

  • MrsAtaxxia

    Damn that Daryl gif always makes my ovaries explode.

  • Kate at June

    I forget that people will wait to watch the US airing of British shows instead of stream them illegally...

  • John W

    Okay put your pencils down. The answers are:
    1-A, 2-C. 3-D, 4-A, 5-B, 6-A, 7-B, 8-C, 9-D, 10-A
    11-A, 12-C, 13-D, 14-D, 15-B, 16-A, 17-A, 18-B, 19-D, 20-A
    21-C, 22-C, 23-D, 24-A, 25-B, 26-B, 27-A, 28-D, 29-A, 30-A

  • allthesemomentswillbelost

    'Will Rebel Wilson’s “Super Fun Night” Make Rebel Wilson the Huge Star She’s Meant to Be'
    Well, I mean, she is large, but 'huge' is a bit mean, isn't it?

  • Guest

    28. Will “Community” Return This Year or in 2014?

    NBC will tell us it will start in October this year but it won't actually air until February next year. It will be October 19th all over again.

  • PDamian

    Aw, geez ... that gif of Darryl made me ovulate. Stop making me fertile, Pajiba!

  • Berry

    I'm really looking forward to Alicia and Cary starting a firm together. It's just the shot of new energy the show needs. But it also needs Kalinda and Alicia to renew their beautiful friendship -- and I need it. They don't even have to kiss (much), just have tequila and talk about life. If that doesn't happen, I will get very angry.

  • alannaofdoom

    Cosign ALL of that, especially Alicia & Kalinda. Their friendship is essential to the show and it's been sorely lacking in the last few seasons.

  • Berry

    It's the most important relationship in the show. In my opinion. Which is also the only right one.

  • BWeaves

    RE #16. I don't know who that kid is sitting next to Michael J. Fox, but his face is freaking me out. It's like they pasted a 17 year old Michael J. Fox mask on a 7 year old kid.

    RE #8. When did David Tennant's eyes get so wonky? I know he could always show the complete whites around the iris, but now it's like each one operates independently.

    Also, I Wikied (is that a verb?) the murderer, because I always read the last page of a book first (which drives darling hubby nuts, but I never spoil it for him). Now I'm watching closely to see if they drop any hints as to who the murderer is in the show. I like mystery shows best when the audience COULD have figured it out, because they give you all the clues. So far, I've seen one scene that means absolutely nothing if you don't know who did it, but is really disturbing if you do. I'm hoping for more.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    I do it too, and did it too. I think I know which scene you're talking of. I didn't tell the hub that I cheated, just to watch him twist himself into knots trying to figure out who did it.

  • emmalita

    I do the same thing.

  • Berry

    I do too. Often, not always. Less now than I used to. I even used to read books completely out of order. That was fun, and apparently Roland Barthes has a fancy term for that.

    #themoreyouknow

  • emmalita

    But what's the fancy term? I don't do well with suspense. True fact- I think Breaking Bad is going to kill me with anticipation.

  • Berry

    I really don't know what it would be in English, because I read about it in an essay written in Finnish, in which it had been translated from French. But let's try... I think the argument was that it's a "readerly" way to read, instead of "writerly" (those are probably not the right words, apologies to any Barthes' scholars in the audience, and possibly the man himself, may he rest in peace). So, the death of the author means the birth of the reader, who can then read pretty much as she likes. And teen-aged me liked reading books out of order.

  • lowercase_ryan

    You ask too many questions.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    4.5 Can we just kill Carl already?

  • Are people still unaware that Carl actually advanced as a character last season and now in fact rules?

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Yeah, he's an excellent character now, probably one of the few that I'd trust to be with out on patrol cuz that kid don't fuck around. I still think he was completely justified in shooting that guy.

  • lmtj

    That's the one thing I can't quite figure out: Was it just bad acting on the dead kid's part or was it intended to seem like he really wasn't going to surrender, but I think he needed to be put down. On the other hand, Carl had zero remorse in his protection of the group. At least when shot Morgan, he kept saying "I had to. I had to." where you can tell he hated to have to do it, but it could have meant his Dad dying if he didn't. With the other kid, he was like "meh".

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I didn't like the way the kid kept trying to edge closer with the gun he refused to drop. He came across really dodgy (to me). Yeah, Carl's a little sociopath but I like it. I thought Rick driving past the hitchhiker multiple times was much, much colder.

  • lowercase_ryan

    No, he's not black.

  • Sean

    You never know. Laurie was a little slutty.

  • Zirza

    I know the answer to no. 7, but that gif never fails to entertain me.

  • the_wakeful

    I just finished the series this weekend. HOMFG Alice is my spirit animal.

  • emmalita

    I both want to duct-tape your pie hole shut and be your best friend so you will tell me the answer. But that might be the fever talking.

  • michaelceratops

    26. It's going to fail because the name is terrible. I've seen very few shows rise above this... in fact, the only one I can think of off the top of my head is CougarTown

    11. I'm already slightly angered at this show because I feel the act of bringing Coulson back lessens the gravity of his death in the Avengers.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    0. Why isn't it 2014 yet so we can get season 2 of "Hannibal"?

  • dreamlife613

    And season 4 of Game of Thrones.

  • And the end of "Mad Men"

  • Andrew Jara

    Did you say that james spader show looks good? WTF? Is that what people are thinking?

    It looks like every show ever from White Collar to 48 Hours. Maybe Spader will save it but I doubt it

  • Three_nineteen

    I think we're all hoping it's a better "The Following".

  • That's a very low bar.

  • Matt C.

    If SHIELD is Dollhouse good then it will still be incredible.

  • the_wakeful

    If SHIELD is as good as the best of Dollhouse, it will be amazing. FTFY

  • Three_nineteen

    Well, yeah. When Dustin said "Buffy" good I assumed he didn't mean season 1 Buffy.

  • Aaron Schulz

    or season 7, i assume he means like 4-5. i mean 2-3 are good but we get the most anya in 4-5, amd shes the bomb

  • meadowdancer

    except for How I Met Your Mother I care about all of those questions.

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