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Ranking, from Worst to First, All the Television Shows that Have Had Their Casts Featured on the Cover of The Rolling Stone

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (73)

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Not including three animated television shows, “South Park,” “The Simpsons,” and “Beavis and Butthead,” there have been — best I can tell — 15 television shows to have their cast featured on the cover of The Rolling Stone. Here they are, ranked from worst show to best show.

15. The Hills

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14. Gossip Girl

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13. Smallville

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12. Melrose Place

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11. Miami Vice

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10. Glee

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9. Beverly HIlls 90210

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8. Saturday Night Live

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7. True Blood

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6.The X-Files

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5.Friends

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4. Seinfeld

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3. Mad Men

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2. Twin Peaks

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1. The Sopranos

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Comments

*looks at #15*

Ugh. What a nightmare those girls are.

*looks at #14*

*unzips pants*

This list is gonna be good.

*looks through rest of list with slowly fading smile*

*checks immediate area for peepers and looky-loos*

*Goes back to #14 and mentally moves in for all of eternity*

Posted by: Kballs at January 3, 2011 11:11 AM

When that issue of Rolling Stone came out (you know exactly the one I speak of) I was 14 years old. I remember running to the closest White Hen Pantry and buying 3 copies. I must have starred at the picture for hours. It’s still my absolute favorite cover of all time. The picture oozes sex.

Posted by: Scully at January 3, 2011 11:13 AM

White people.

Posted by: sars at January 3, 2011 11:13 AM

that True Blood cover is def. my favorite!

Posted by: lauwer at January 3, 2011 11:17 AM

Why did they print 'X-FILES' over the Californication cover?

Posted by: Mo at January 3, 2011 11:19 AM

Man, Josie Bissett was rockin' back then.

(googles)

Whaddaya know. She still is.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at January 3, 2011 11:23 AM

sars,

The way most of these pictures turned out, I'm HAPPY we never saw Bill Cosby or Redd Foxx in their underwear.

Posted by: Kballs at January 3, 2011 11:23 AM

@sars: White people AND half-naked women. Consistently-less-beclothed-than-their-male-counterparts women.

The Twin Peaks cover represents a transition in the cultural aesthetic from big hair/brooke eyebrows of the 1980s to the laid back jeans and a tank grunge influence of the 1990s. The photographer is a true visionary.

It also looks like A Place in The Sun era Elizabeth Taylor exploded on the models.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 11:26 AM

Michael Richards is clearly miscast as the brains of the operation.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 11:29 AM

I notice they didn't ask the cast of The Sopranos to strip down to their undies or grab each other's boobs/moobs.

Posted by: Simon at January 3, 2011 11:31 AM

HOW. FUCKING. DARE. YOU.

I hate pandering. Hate hate hate.

How dare you put Miami Vice below that schlock. Chug my cock. Enough with "Glee" already. We're talking about Crockett and Tubbs.

Also, let's count the amount of completely fucktarded music "stories" on these covers.

The Queen Reunion?
Puddle of Mudd?
Train?
Ja Rule?

Posted by: D-Day at January 3, 2011 11:33 AM

I am deeply fond of the Vanity Fair Sopranos cover as well.

Posted by: twig at January 3, 2011 11:33 AM

Kballs, good point. Cosby and Redd Foxx licking the same ice cream cone would not sell magazines.

Posted by: sars at January 3, 2011 11:34 AM

A list like this makes me both happy and sad that magazines are dying.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 3, 2011 11:35 AM

Who the hell is that photoshopped dog in the Glee cover? Is that the new Principal? Or let me guess, the Regionals finalists are a choir group from the local animal shelter and they perform Madonna/West Side Story covers while dancing like that Merengue Dog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A72x64SxPFs

Posted by: Vee at January 3, 2011 11:36 AM

Hahha, Mrs. Julien, I was just about to comment on that Twin Peaks hair. An impressive number of mousses were slaughtered to make that photo happen.

Posted by: coveredinbees at January 3, 2011 11:38 AM

John Hamm looks very constipated

Posted by: caro at January 3, 2011 11:39 AM

Posted by: TylerDFC at January 3, 2011 11:42 AM


The photographers in charge of producing cover art for these magazines ought to take an objective look at their work and realize that barely-clothed women are nothing new or original for magazines. It's such a ridiculous thing to see any more, as if everyone's run out of ideas. The human body is a glorious thing, but photographed in the same way every time? Please. Yawn.

My favorite on the list is the Friends cast. It's new and it's clever without relying on vulgarity or poor attempts to be 'edgy'.

Can we establish a new subgenre for commercial photography and call it 'Scantily-Clad Women in Light-Colored Lingerie With Their Mouths Open Or Doing a Fishface'? Because that's what I see a lot of. There's gotta be a name for it.

I realize that featuring women in various states of undress on a magazine is bound to sell more copies, which is the whole point, but can't they TRY to give us something new?

Posted by: Nubbies Away at January 3, 2011 11:42 AM

The Twin Peaks one is a Magic Eye painting. If you stare at it long enough, say 1.5 seconds, a Grouch Marx triptych floats to the fore.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 11:44 AM

How many of these is that skeezy photographer, Terry Richardson, responsible for??

Thank god for "Mad Men"; yes, the ladies can be sexy without attempting to make them the photographer's version of "Girls Gone Wild".

Also, see "Friends" for a perfectly beautiful photo that isn't sluttified.

Posted by: Hayden Tompkins at January 3, 2011 11:44 AM

GrouchO

Now, excuse me while I brush the crumbs out of my bed. I'm expecting company.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 11:45 AM

Yes Hayden, but the Mad Men cover is still "Boobs Gone Walkabout".

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 11:47 AM

"Can we establish a new subgenre for commercial photography and call it 'Scantily-Clad Women in Light-Colored Lingerie With Their Mouths Open Or Doing a Fishface'? Because that's what I see a lot of. There's gotta be a name for it."

I like to call that The Olivia Wilde.

Posted by: sars at January 3, 2011 11:48 AM

Boobs Gone Walkabout is going to be the name of my Cannonball Read blog.

It's the irresistable urge to keep quipping that builds up the comment tally, isn't it? Imagine if everyone was as entertained by me as I am!

::Shudder::

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 11:49 AM

Yeah, wow, that Twin Peaks cover is mesmerizing.

I don't think I ever saw it "in situ" (during its original time period).

The hair! The eyebrows! The jeans! The red lipstick!

Posted by: MM at January 3, 2011 11:50 AM

The dominatrix Seinfeld cover is ten times better:

http://peptalk.freedomblogging.com/files/2009/10/seinfeld.jpg

Posted by: aidan at January 3, 2011 11:52 AM

Mrs. Julian, but still on the side of 'sexy'. It looks like Elizabeth Moss is the one who took that photo a little over the top.

Posted by: Hayden Tompkins at January 3, 2011 11:52 AM

ooh yikes that link doesn't work ^^^^. Google it, it's worth it.

Posted by: aidan at January 3, 2011 11:53 AM

Also, I'm still searching for the bastard who killed Audrey Horne's Sherilynn Fenn's career. She still makes my pantal region feel snug, big hair and all.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at January 3, 2011 11:53 AM

"I am sexy, dammit!!"

Posted by: Hayden Tompkins at January 3, 2011 11:54 AM

No WAY is True Blood the seventh-best of these shows. Or the seventh-best of anything. That show is AWFUL.

Posted by: Todd at January 3, 2011 11:54 AM

thank you thank you thank you for putting X-files above True Blood!!

Posted by: courtney at January 3, 2011 12:02 PM

I like you Todd. Please expound at length on your dislike for the sexual fetish hour masquerading as a TV show.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 12:02 PM

It's the irresistable urge to keep quipping that builds up the comment tally, isn't it?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 11:49 AM
---
Take it from me: It is. It's how you get to 2,114. It's how you get to be No. 1.

Posted by: , at January 3, 2011 12:04 PM

K

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 12:06 PM

Rolling Stone mag used to be about music.
That was 30 years ago.

I know I sound old...
...and I don't care.

Who is this magazine aimed at?
I'm confused.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at January 3, 2011 12:16 PM

...and don't get me started about True Blood.

This is the same guy who made Six Feet Under?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at January 3, 2011 12:17 PM

There's something wrong with you. Something very, very wrong with you.

Posted by: Jay at January 3, 2011 12:33 PM

I like you Todd. Please expound at length on your dislike for the sexual fetish hour masquerading as a TV show.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 12:02 PM

Why the hell would anyone want to complain about an hour about sexual fetish?

Posted by: Xtreme at January 3, 2011 12:37 PM

It's poorly written?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 12:38 PM

The "Sopranos" cover reminded me that I ran into Michael Imperioli yesterday while I was in line waiting for a table a restaurant in town yesterday for brunch. Imperioli poked his head in, saw the long line, and then shut the door to find brunch elsewhere.

He's been living in my town since they started to shoot "Detroit 1-8-7". I saw him a few weeks ago when I was out walking my dog. He was sitting outside a yoga studio talking on his cellphone. Had he not been talking on his cellphone and if my dog wasn't completely anti-social when on his leash, I might I have said hello.

I loved that "Twin Peaks" cover back in the day. So much hotness. I had a huge Sherilyn Fenn crush. I remember many a late night staying up to catch another airing if Meridian: Kiss Of The Beast. So much delicious Sherilyn Fenn
nudity...


Posted by: FordbiddenDonut at January 3, 2011 12:39 PM

I DEMAND a recount. Melrose was MUCH better than that insipid Glee.

Posted by: Melody at January 3, 2011 12:40 PM

Mrs. Julien,

I see your "It's poorly written?" and I raise you an Alexander Skarsgard.

Posted by: Vee at January 3, 2011 12:47 PM

Still with the fetish Vee so no thanks. I'll wait until he becomes the major star he has the potential to be and watch him in better fare.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 12:50 PM

I DEMAND a recount. Melrose was MUCH better than that insipid Glee.

Wait... Melrose Place wasn't insipid?

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at January 3, 2011 1:20 PM

Friends before X-Files: Bold move, Rowles.

Posted by: laylaness at January 3, 2011 1:24 PM

Agent Johnson, different sort of insipid.

Posted by: Melody at January 3, 2011 1:34 PM

It's like K-balls inhabits the collective Id. I don't care how terrible these shows are, nor the actresses themselves, I will ogle these women! Even the hills cast (pre-surgery Montag, I have some standards).

Posted by: Anon at January 3, 2011 1:37 PM

I hated that True Blood cover, especially when you compare it to past tv covers. It's like they showed up a day early so they were told, "uh, get naked, I'll throw blood on you." No imagination in that cover.

One time, my cat was about to puke. I fished The Hills cover out of the recycle bin and put it under her. Very easy clean-up.

Posted by: Persistent Cat at January 3, 2011 1:39 PM

This is why I watch True Blood. . .Lafayette. Hookah, please.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=890ULiSXZSY

Posted by: coveredinbees at January 3, 2011 1:48 PM

#14 almost reminded me of 2 Girls, 1 Cup. Damn you.

#2 and #7 made it all better, though.

Posted by: The Wanderer at January 3, 2011 2:00 PM

OK Rowles. It's good that you finally give the Sopranos the #1 position that you and your Pajiba staff so completely omitted from your best TV seasons of the last 20 years countdown. It's about time. Have you come to your senses or were you being held down by the "wisdom" of your staff?

Also, bold move having Friends so high. Bolder move on Twin Peaks considering that while season 1 equals greatness, season 2 was something of a mess.

Posted by: ed newman at January 3, 2011 2:21 PM

I still have that X-Files edition packed away. Nothing could rival my love of that show and my 14 year old lust for David Duchovny.

Posted by: Even Stevens at January 3, 2011 2:56 PM

Glee is WAY WORSE than Melrose Place. AND Smallville, simply for the performances of John GLover and Michael Rosenbaum. Melrose reveled in its camp. Glee thinks it's the most Important Show on TV, so much so that the writing takes second place to the cheesy renditions of songs. But I hate that goddamned show, so I may be biased.

Posted by: Julie at January 3, 2011 3:18 PM

I learned this from this list : PJ Harvey was talked about on magazine covers, many of my "peers" claimed to listen to it (her?), and that I STILL have no clue who or what that is.
Also, my non staged photos of random stuff are better than blood splattered celebs. Even IF it is a naked Alexander.

Posted by: DeckOfficer!! at January 3, 2011 3:47 PM

I totally have that X-Files one. Word.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 3, 2011 3:52 PM

Wait. Wait. Are you saying that True Blood the show is not as good as Friends the show? Or just the covers? Either way, I think you have the ranking backward.

True Blood is very good and Friends is criminally bad.

On a semi-related note: The in-flight movie on the plane home from Hawaii was Eat Pray Love and it was one of the worst flights of my life. That shit was heinous. Like Friends.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 3, 2011 4:02 PM

"the sexual fetish hour masquerading as a TV show."

You say that like it's a bad thing...

Posted by: klingonfree at January 3, 2011 4:08 PM

I was going to complain about the ranking of Friends, particularly above X-Files. Then I thought perhaps it's punishment for that incredibly horrible fall from greatness that X-Files had. Now when I think about it again, I realize that the greatness that X-Files did attain so far exceeds the non-existent greatness of Friends (which, based on the few episodes of it that I have seen, did not exactly soar in its final days either) that it should be above it.

I would like to spout a more vehement opinion on the top five, but I am uninformed on 1 and 3.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 3, 2011 5:18 PM

And, folks, that far too wordy ridiculousness is how you make it into the year-end top twenty-five verbosity status on this site. Novel number two, here I come.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 3, 2011 5:23 PM

I guess the fact that the title of the article says "ranking from WORST to FIRST" is totally lost on some of the commentators.

Posted by: Mela Pie at January 3, 2011 5:33 PM

I love how there's no gratuitous cleavage or suggestive posing on the Twin Peaks cover, and the ladies are fully-clothed. They don't need to be almost naked to be suggestive - they're totally giving full-on eyebrow in that photo and it's perfect.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 3, 2011 6:07 PM

Is this supposed to be some sort of slam on Miami Vice? Vice was defining cool when you cocksuckers were still watching Dynasty and that St. Elsewhere bullshit.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 3, 2011 6:44 PM

Oh please, the X-files cover is the best.

Posted by: haha at January 3, 2011 7:25 PM

I realize that featuring women in various states of undress on a magazine is bound to sell more copies, which is the whole point, but can't they TRY to give us something new?

Posted by: Nubbies Away at January 3, 2011 11:42 AM

Ah hellz no! Don't go giving them any ideas now.

If anything, they should feature more half-naked males for the ladies (and others... you know who you are.) Without reducing the number of half-undressed ladies, of course.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 3, 2011 8:57 PM

For those of you who are upset about Miami Vice's placement on this list, let me remind you that this site has a slightly questionable track record when it comes to events happening before 1990.

And even though there is no nudity, I think the X-Files EW cover is way sexier (I still have both).

Posted by: Three-nineteen at January 3, 2011 10:12 PM

I was coming in here all ready to slap a b*tch for not making the Mad Men cover the number one cover and then I realized that they had John Hamm's ass pushing Christina Hendricks and her gloriously voluptuous ta-tas out of the frame and I re-considered my indignant outrage and reached for an oatmeal raisin cookie instead.

So, I guess that, for once, you got it (mostly) right, Rowles!

P.S. Yeah, I said it. A deliciously warm fiber-filled oatmeal raisin cookie! And what?!

Posted by: Slappysquirrel at January 3, 2011 10:16 PM

Is it just me or does the SNL cover look like it's mocking the Glee cover. Too bad it's about 10 years earlier. For my dollar I would much rather see Molly Shannon's ass. I'm embarrassed for Lea Michelle these days.

Posted by: E-Money at January 4, 2011 2:51 AM

Okay Rollingstone I've got your next cover. Let's pull the ol' switcheroo. Exchange the true blood cover for Mad Men....Yeah let that sink in.

Posted by: E-Money at January 4, 2011 3:00 AM

I'm surprised that the original Saturday Night Live cast wasn't on a RS cover.

Posted by: Pat C. at January 4, 2011 7:38 PM

Does anyone else wonder where the hell January Jones' hand is?

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